schlakshammos

The reasoning behind the concept of minimal meeting before and minimal (if any) contact after the engagement is because an engaged couple is essentially an unnatural relationship. You have a male and female that have been brought up to keep their distance, and then meet after extensive parental research which has nothing to do with plastic tablecloths, plate stacking or silver/plastic ware. They converse to see whether they enjoy each other’s company, and possibly to see whether they have the same expectations (although this has probably been determined during the research) and hopefully this concludes with a mazal tov. At that point, there is nothing further to be gained by meeting with the constraints that the couple is not yet man and wife, and therefore still have to abide by the standards of modesty in conversation between an unrelated male and female. Such conversation serves no ‘tachlis’, after all they are already engaged, and is only fraught with danger. It is no wonder, then, that there is a much lower rate of broken engagements amongst those who meet less. This is definitely an instance where less is more!