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some posters have been learning for years and are familiar with shas, perhaps through daf yomi. They dont come here to use their ‘talent’, they come to unwind n shmooze. Some look up sources, some quote correctly, some quote incorrectly! And some google. But anyhow, there are different types of smarts. Some people are very good at remember quotes, psukim, etc. Some ppl are smart in other fields but weak in that. Like some people can remember historical facts-names, places, dates, be it history, geography, or biography related. Some people are great at puzzles but terrible at memorizing things. Etc etc etc :). I have a friend who didnt do great in school in general, but knows everything about past gedolim and knows neviim inside out. Another is genius in concepts but not books. Yet another, an A student who cant tell you if the Chofetz Chaim lived in the 1700s or 1900s
i know exactly what you’re talking about, and it IS frustrating to be suggested boys who are not in your field. Why are they suggesting the ones with only half your requests? Because theyve seen many many successful shiduchim where only half the requirements were met. If it’s totally not shayach, then say so. If its mostly great except for 1 or 2 points, maybe look into the guy and see what he’s about. After hearing more about him, those 2 points may become insignificant or worth overlooking for a date, to see if it could be.
pray he doesn’t read the cr. Mods??? I’m 100% with goq
sounds like she didnt realize she was embarassing you, if she went on n on. You should forgive her, look if there’s a lesson, daven it should be a kappara. Then, if its s/o you can approach n bring it up with, you should tell her that you were uncomfortable with her saying it in public, n just so she knows it was embarrassing, for next time. Dont expect an apology or go looking for one, but let her know to save you or s/o else it next time
working from memory here, but don’t you fast til chatzos then to hatavas chalom? or either way, only fast til chatzos?
its racism if you now stereotype black people as rude or something like that. To notice a trend in your particular workplace? Just dont stop greeting certain people
Realize though that if some coworkers have diff cultures they may have different behaviors. I think this is what outsider meant. For example, in East Asian culture, looking an official or guard in the eye is not done. In english culture, it’d be considered rude. There are different behaviors even among different places you were raised. Consider the stereotypical NYer vs the typical out of towner. What would be common for one would be ‘quiet’ for another, etc. But i dont think i’ve said anything new here!
arwsf is still here. She said she didnt have constant internet access but pops in now and then. Zk had a runin with the mods unfortunately. I believe aries said she was limiting posts. But the others and many many more familiar names who used to frequent the cr have disappeared or seem to have broken their caffeine addiction
and WB kapusta!
and i dont even know what instagram is! though maybe thats a good thing, by the sounds of this thread
im quite sure its not
it’s great if she understands all the tefillos, her Hebrew acquisition must be amazing. But most people i know either don’t understand every word, or don’t understand how the phrases flow, or don’t think about what the words they’re saying mean while they’re davening. B’H for Artscroll! Im ffb n went through bais yaakov and even got great dikduk marks, but i still dont understand all of davening or close. I can understand most words, but not the sentence. To be embarrassed about it though? Never crossed my mind :). By using a translation, i know it means i’m working to improve, as opposed to not bothering. I’m proud in fact. You should be too!
yes
ikno- lol
fif-cool!
Jmh- memories!! Beautiful song
burnt steak- i like!
Im adding this thread to my favorites!
first question is how old??
don’t try helping fix her, just try compassion and care. If she interrupts n ruins the class, that IS frustrating, but in your own mind, view her as someone who cannot control their behaviour or someone lacking social skills (even if it’s not) and respond as if she was- say good question, that you’ll think about it, please raise your hand next time, etc only with gentleness. If punishing a student doesn’t help or is counterproductive, you can be pretty sure there’s something more going on than leitzanus. Sounds like the principal knows this and thus treated the situation in a fitting way. S/he should follow up on making her apologize if he told her too perhaps, unless he thinks it might be detrimental. Ask him/her for advice, i.’m sure the principal knows her story better.
As an aside, for me, introducing a project would be a punishment, not reward! Try specific goals- not ‘behaving’, thats too general, but not calling out for half hour periods, or raising her hand when she wants to say something. Give her a point for every half hour she stays quiet/every time she raises her hand. And ask HER what she would like for the reward. If she’s not interested at all, it wont work anyhow. And keep it private! No one else should know anything about it
simple! So we can have the day off together with Canada
spread your name more? Contact shadchanim both in Toronto and in New York and anywhere else you can, ask your acquaintances to keep you in mind, let people know what you’re looking for and that you’re open to hearing suggestions from them n not just from official shadchanim
twinkle, twinkle little star
the gemachs are for the frames only people. And who would want to wear them? Someone who can’t afford a new pair. I know there is one also, but don’t know where, sorry. I knew of one in Eretz Yisroel too
Health- a refuah shleima. Please see: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/id-like-to-ask-mechila
wallflower- how many chareidim do you know who sat shiva for a child still frum but wearing jeans
yes definitions get warped in all areas of life. Many negative terms have been slowly extended to include those it shouldn’t. But just because something is done, doesnt make it right. One in particular has seen much debate here in the cr. But the only way to keep it from happening is to not accept it, to stand against the generalizations. Yes, every one person makes a difference, bec they can correct the term in all conversations they take part in. If we just let it go, we’ll have OTD soon being used teasingly among friends to refer to s/o doing something different than expected, including a quiet kid speaking up in class. Like retard became an insult, mental became an affectionate insult, and crazy became such an acceptable name to call others or their actions.
Okayyyy whew! Rant over :). Sorry bout that folks!
wow- keep hoping, keep believing he can. And i’ll keep hoping for yours and for my brother
torah613- lol!
how many times a year do YOU say the word ‘porcupine’?
not that it helps us being in the cr, but from your short description in the other thread, i immd thought of a lady in the right age/stage… Call shadchanim, both from Toronto and not. There are many lists online, and some that specify if certain shadchanim focus on a particular group. Anyone out there have that website from the weekly shadchan list in the Mishpacha magazine? (or was it hamodia?)?
shanifirst- you weren’t OTD, BH, and shouldn’t label yourself as such.
torahrocks- try alaska 🙂
me too. But also when it ends with adults arguing or having bad feelings
we’ll miss you eclipse oh yes we will…
Pop in every once in a blue moon, will ya? Your level-headedness, soft-spoken opinions and humor will be missed around here
syag- take your older kids to a toy store n get them to settle on one board game for yomtov. There are so many out there, from strategy to word games to games of chance to deep-thinking to simple fun and on n on. Something for every type really. The problem by us is when each kid likes a different type! One likes monopoly and catan, another stratego and chess, and i’m a lover of word games and anti-‘the game of risk’ :). But we all take turns choosing the games, so we’ll suffer through some games but then get our first choice later
amein!
eclipse- it was a joke n made ME smile at least. And a good example of how to be dan l’kaf zchus as well! It was a creative positive twist to WIYs reply
aspergers is one aspect of you, but it doesnt need to define you. You should get help to overcome your depression, and give yourself hope, a vision, goals, a chance. Don’t write yourself off! Don’t limit yourself! You can learn skills, try to find a job, find a (perhaps shared) place to live. If there is somewhere you’d like to see yourself, perhaps find some contacts and a rabbi there and ask them what they know/can do to help you make the move a reality. If you are seeing a therapist for depression, ask him/her for advice on types of jobs you can get. Perhaps not an office job, maybe in a school, maybe woodworking, maybe cashier. There are all types of jobs with the full spectrum of qualifications needed, you just need to find your area.
oh oh! Happy Birthday Syag!!!!! Slurpee sponsorship on me!! (or is that slurpee exchange debate copyrighted? 🙂 ) May this year be one of positive changes, happiness, success and much much nachas! Ad meah v’esrim shana! Celebration time!!
PS- bday brachos accepted 🙂
can females sing in a sukka if the neighbours can hear? Might hear? Know who you are? Wont know who is singing? Makes no difference, always assur?
my post was in reply to the OP! 🙂
yeah! That!
if you search the cr there are some thread about nile biting with suggestions from fellow biters. The delay tactic- wait just 10 more minutes before biting off that hang nail..- works best for me. But of course not foolproof. I do see myself finally improving tho after years of working on it, so there is hope!
well, there were some new definitions here for me! And i know i’ve been using some of those differently (wrong????) but so has just abt e/o i text! So seriously, dont go analyze ur texts according to these ‘definitions’.
Kk is another ok
kkk i’d think was a typo 🙂
hehe is a chuckle, yes. Or when i said hehehe outloud after reading thheir text :). Not laughed, said heheheh. But i do that 🙂
yes takes 1.5x as long as ya! Its easier with t9. Anyone else remember when it had to be spelled properly as yeah? Yeah.
A 🙂 is me smiling! Sometimes just reacting with a smile n nothing more to say on said topic. Sometimes in conjuction with words. Often as a tone indicator showing s/thing is being said in jest, with a smile, happily etc when it can potentially be read otherwise.
cinderella- sounds like what ur doing is the best way for this particular situation then. When u do take her calls, dont gush about having not spoken to her in so long, and dont do so long or in depth convos?
On the other hand, i dont know why you are trying to cut her off, but make sure its a valid neccesary reason? Esp right after yom kippur. Try to view things from her shoes if its of that sort.
amein, it should be a huge kapara, and you should have a sweet year. You should also block their emails. Can’t say it is for you, but huge emotions or suppressing a flood of tears gives me chest pain too. That being said, it may still be a medical concern. After all, stress can cause heart attacks. Refuah shleima, physically and emotionally
there’s also a huge potential for misunderstanding when reading responses and lacking tone. Tone changes e/t. Sarcasm->rudeness->honest compliment and all other directions.
”Oh him? He’s friendly to everyone” -honest admiration, sarcasm meaning he’s rude, derogatorily meaning he’s ‘too’ friendly, etc etc
”You got those shoes? Wow, so pretty” -compliment, with a sneer followed by a snicker, ”pretty” meaning i dont think you should ever wear them outside again, etc etc
yesterday i read on a thread a whole argument going back n force w accusitions and getting nowhere. Reading it through, objectively, it was blatantly clear which lines had been misunderstood because they were tone-ambiguous, like the ones above, and that neither side had meant what the each thought the other had. perhaps dan lkaf zchus would help avoid some, but perceived insults are sometimes hard for some to let pass
wolf- just need to comment, that you sound like an amazing, understanding father
+100
wiy- i dont know what a good response is, but i do know that’s a bad one. There’s a difference between saying ‘obey the rules or you’ll be exiled’, which that sounds like, and having jobs, expectations, rules to be followed.
Frumnotyeshivish +1!!!! Very well put!!
not any of the singles i know well, but i hear! Sounds like a draining cycle you’re in
akuperma- yeah, thats their thoughts exactly! Btw brother, could you lend me $10000?
don’t overeat, do go out to a friend or for a walk or for a walk with a friend. Also, take downtime if u need and read in ur room alone.
hello, whats your name?? Mmhm and what are you doing? How old did you say you were? Ohh i’ve got the perfect shidduch for you!!
Uhhh literally 100 seconds after you’ve first laid eyes on me?? And yes i know that him and him and her and him all got set up to someone you met only 60 seconds and all are happily married now. But what about the other 100 hims and hers who agreed to look into it and wasted their time and emotional energy?
aish.dot IS orthodox and an amazing source of info at all levels, from basic to complex. And they have a lot of different media to offer.