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Gumball is always happy, positive and b’simcha. Brings a smile to everyone’s face with her LOLs, :)s, and !!!s. Young and temimusdik. Keep up that attitude!
one loose pebble can make me fall
and cause me lose it all.
looking for a life rope quick
before i give myself the kick
that’ll send me tumbling as i fall
off that slippery scary wall
And mess with my mobility
i want to stay in bed all day.
or sit in the park. Or run away.
i’m playing on a slippery slope,
losing grip and losing hope
dangerous rocks wait below.
every step must be taken slow
but each is busy with his own life,
Working, school, children, a wife.
why should they put it all aside
To come and sit right by my side
when their own duties call their name,
Like mine SHOULD be doing the same.
and yet, since when does depression follow
my schedule for today, tomorrow?
see it coming, but cannot stop
watch as every level drops
and middos as they fall aside.
to stop the pain i turn to pride-
first, I can only focus on me.
Waves of emotions follow waves of numb
Wish i could run to someone.
looking for a warm embrace,
Someone to wipe the tears from my face.
I want to run, i want to flee.
i do not want to fall again
into the darkness with no end;
to once more be stuck down below,
covered in dirt, fallen so low.
as the waters pull me down
so, is AYC a he or a she???
Thanx PE. I’ll try! Just a bit overloaded right now. IY”H soon!
sensitive and caring
if anyone asks where my ideas come from, as in ‘Says who?” 🙂
On the other hand, you did argue it out respectfully, and sounds like you made a real kiddush Hashem. Maybe that alone will encourage him to have more conversations with frum yidden and next time get a bit farther. So even if you think u coulda done better, i don’t think u blew anything.
And high. Neshoma glowing, you’re reaching such great heights
Cuz even when your bulb’s gone dull, you’re lighting others lights
May your special strength reach around right back to you
And others shower down on you like the kindness that you do
AYC
Though I don’t have experience or advice to give
It’s clear to see no matter what, that by your words you live
Always holding others up- advice, support and care
A ‘nature to help others’ as you do is special and rare
In tune to others feelings, cuz you know what emotions are
This maaleh should carry you through and take you oh so far
Thanx for the encouragement
It keeps my spark alive
Gets me to post tho unsure
If my words help others thrive
Tho i know more than others
I am helping myself
Facing my own emotions
Through another’s rhyming wealth
As I put up words
I stop and contemplate
What abt myself, i need this too
Let me do it now, don’t wait
A chance to share my feelings
and experiences good and bad
In a give and take where everyone
Has special points to add
Ur not at all the only one who feels like that abt their parents. I was in a similar situ. A mentor convinced me to go to a psych, either with or without telling my parents. But looking back once i got more into it, i wished i’d had the courage to tell my parents right away so it was out in the open and easier. my parents are not the type either, also i’m often scared to let them down or insult them, but its not always a maaleh. so i’d suggest for ur own benefit, override your instincts and tell them. if they say they can’t do it, then u can go on to call yourself.
-Find a friend to chat with,
Or a diary with whom to share
Get some books from your kosher library
Or learn to paint or style hair
-Find a hobby that can be done
Any time of night or day
Have a list of things to do
When emotions get in the way
-Limit your computer time
Its the nicest thing you can do.
And who knows better than yourself
How to be nice to you?
-Your struggles aren’t rare
To you they’re not unique
Your words seem to be yet again
describing not you, but me
-A better cleaner distraction
Is what you need to find
To empty the full inner well
Or to change topics in your mind
-A friend to talk to, a way to vent
For this the coffee room’s great
Except when you need instant reaction
And the posting happens late
There are frum organizations that do referrals and such for psychologists,etc and they do keep it completely private. but dr seuss brought up a good pt. and i do think for urself it’d be most beneficial to let your parents in on this. even if it’d be hard.otherwise you’d also be dealing w hiding it and that pressure….
keep those :)s up!
blabla- i hope that’s a positive woa, and not a ‘woa, u know how to lay it on heavy’ 🙂
Part 5 and final:
After each vent
When we feel a bit calm
Think of 1 good thing
For our mind, a balm
To sooth the pain
A chance to recharge
Trying to be positive
And believe we’ll win- By large!!
Part4:
We’re rooting you,
Cheering from the side.
Behind pain or fears
Do not hide!
Each struggle in itself
A challenge to grow,
A chance to knock
That bad guy so low.
To focus on positive
Is what I recently was told
So together we can try
With another’s support to hold
Part3:
Reflect on nature
And the beauty you see,
And then tell that yetzer,
“That’s just like ME!
So right now I’ll try
To see the good in my life
And block out the sound
Of your insults and strife.”
Then 5 minutes more
Try it again,
And you’ll feel so proud
To recognize Hashem.
Each little step
Will boost your esteem.
You’ll prove your yetzer hora
That you can come clean.
Part2:
Admire your eyes
Admire your toes,
When caught within
Anorexia throes.
Call a friend,
Do a chesed or two.
See what a difference
Can be made by you.
Block those thoughts,
Tell your yetzer: NO!
Push him off just a bit-
It’ll soften his blow.
For just 5 minutes,
Quiet his lies.
Focus on the clouds
Or how a bird flies.
And heres the reply I wrote. It hasnt let me post long posts…
so, Part 1:
It lies, its true!
They know, they do!
its not chanifa,
Its the outside view.
Keep on saying
Remind yourself:
Anorexia puts logic
On a back shelf,
Turns your eyes
Into mirror fun;
Stretches and warps
To tales its spun.
So leave the mirror,
Hide the scale.
Dont let an ED
Make you fail.
I know there was a poem posted here just minutes ago, cuz i wanted to reply! So whoever you were, you are NOT alone! Hearts are never limited, and I do feel your pain.
You’re acquiring a sensitivity others can’t, and maybe its all so u can help someone else one day. Do it for others who are suffering like u and feel alone. for the ppl reading this forum and pulling their only strength from it, finally seeing someone understands. Though I haven’t posted b4, pls know I care, and others do too, even tho we cannot show u in person. I cry hot tears for you, knowing how it feels. I see alot of ways u have more strength than i did and believe in u and that you will overcome the stifling cloud of the yetzer hora. Keep strong!
Its a long dark tunnel, and at times u see a bit of light peeking thru the cracks, and then u hit a stretch with no light at all. And you want to just give up, and lie down. Why trudge on in despair if there may not be an opening at the end? But i’m begging you, don’t give up! Please! Even if it takes so long, believe that when u reach that end, the light will be so much stronger than u’ve seen before, bec u know what blackness is. and you will reach heights you’ve never dreamed of and will change the world.
hmm… won’t let me post one long post
Noone can ever know the exact feelings you have, but some of us can very closely relate. And we truly feel your pain and understand. I wish I could send you a long, tight hug to show u that tho i may not know u, i know what u feel, and thats enuf to make me care soooo much. I wish i cld express my feelings in poetry, but i get stuck…But i decided i had to post even not in poetry, at least once.
blabla: i don’t consistently read CR, but last nite i decided to reread this this whole forum to catch any parts i missed. Made me wanna cry, hearing your pain. I just recently got out of a long depression (i hope!) and your ability to express the feelings touched deep. You have an amazing talent as a writer, as a poet and in expression. You can put into words what others cannot describe. I wish I’d seen your poems a few months back, to know i wasn’t alone in the feelings.
NTT= not the type
Actually, no. Minimum wage does not apply to summer camp jobs. You know what your being paid going in, and you either accept it or not