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one side comment here to add: i’m really not sure why your friend would have told you she took you off her resume references. there’s no reason for you to know about that at all, and i dont think you should have been told. unless it’s just a hunch you have?
cheers! but i avoid the deep fried ones 🙂
laytzonay hador omrim- before you jump down our throats, let me explain this thread was not meant to be taken as seriously as you took it. so relax 🙂
rebyidd- not all fries are deep fried
rebyidd-in 90% of the cases, she will let if you can afford it!
some expectations are okay in marriage. I expect my husband to not walk out of the house in his underpants alone. I expect my husband to eat generally. I expect my husband to sleep generally. I expect my husband to rinse his own coffee cup n spoon.
can’t say i read even 5 posts here or all of the OP but i get the gist. My take is that if something is loshon hora to post, it’s loshon hora to listen and by my logic, read. I do not open any threads that seem controversial or loshon hora or machlokes. It saves a lot of heartache, arguments, hard feelings, high blood pressure, etc etc. Just dont open them!
sidi- gool ol’ salt n vinegar on fries. Or plain spicy fries- why conceal their awesome taste?
ouch, painful. My empathies go out to you, that’s really hard to go through.
From what i’m understanding, you know why she suddenly dropped you, and acknowledge you were in the wrong. You very likely need to give it some time for her pain to lessen. Time heals, it’s a concept from Torah. Dont try doing anything while the wound is fresh. Work on yourself in whatever this mistake was in, work hard to change it. It’s self-improvement and it’s showing you are serious about changing, showing you’re committed to not repeating such a mistake. After that, apologize. Without excuses or justification. Just a true heartfelt apology. And i’d strongly suggest speaking to her mother at that point too, perhaps even before her. Apologize, tell her you know you were wrong, that (and how) you worked on changing. It’s painful, but i can’t guarantee she’ll accept you back even then. I hope she will, but realize she was hurt. At the least, the apology will be accepted, she won’t be upset anymore. But she might be hesitant to get close to the same degree again, or to get close at all… Hope and pray for the best, but know a scar from a wound may remain though the wound healed.
It’s hard, it hurts. Been there, done that. I hope it all turns out for the best n with the least amount of pain. If it doesn’t, know more people will soon come and fill that void. All the best
i scream- yes a second opinion is always a good idea, but this isnt the place to get it. Call relief or a therapy referral line and get s/o to speak to.
Cbt is one kind of therapy. It works for some people, for some circumstances and issues. Other therrapies work better for other ppl or other issues. Some people need a combo. Some people need something specific. Some people can benefit from any one of a few choices. And some can benefit from a therapy but dont match well with their therapist and need to find a more compatible match for themselves. Only a certified therapist or doctor who knows your specifics and details can give you reliable advice. Seriously not an open forum full of trolls and anonymous names who can be 15 or 75
why velcro doesn’t ruin after 5 uses
i third the anti-ketchup campaign!
wiy- yes i would expect him to 100%
haleivi- ditto
lab- lol
taom +1
the desire to leave behind something, a legacy, a lasting impression, a mark…
goq- that definition doesnt always work tho :-/
right i agree they are! But even if someone doesnt understand another, they can instead approach it from the other starting point: choose not to judge and therefore come to accept them for who they are. Im a big pusher of being dan lkaf zchus, and of not judging others, expecially others you dont know or dont know about, and i rly believe not looking to judge others, accepting them for who they are whether we agree or disagree with their approach, would remove so much of the ‘politics’ and sinas chinam among sections of klal yisrael
”eating a recipe made by a spiritually negative person”
Like a kosher dish prepared by a non-Jew vs a Jew?
”If only there was more of an understanding…”
or less judging…
streekgeek- wow, chasdei Hashem!
as soon as this thread opened, i knew it’d be just a short time until jmh and notasheep both got here and blew us away with their once-again seen amazing writing skills 🙂
i like DYs suggestion. Get yourself busy with checking out those free downloads. One will hopefully ge stuck in your head instead, or at least the time distraction will lessen the pull
taom- ouch, that is really hard… Just wanna give you my best wishes for things to turn out good, and let you know you’re not alone. 2 points: 1- i dont know your father but it could be he was overwhelmed at the cost and said it in frustration but will pay for the treatment after a few days of getting used to the idea. If it is extremely painful, try to tell your mom that you need the treatment, you can’t deal with the pain, tell your dad the same. 2- If your father really cannot/will not pay for the treatment tell your doctor there’s a $ issue preventing treatment. S/he may know of a cheaper option or somewhere it’s offered on a sliding fee. Refuah shleima!
people ask for info about the sems mostly. There are wayy too many different sems nowadays BH, and if someone is told to look into a particular one, they dont neccesarily know anyone who went there. Also if the sem advisor doesnt know the hashkasha or ”type” of a newer sem. Perhaps they want an objective opinion.
on the topic, to what posters are mentioning. I thought there was a genetic factor, am i wrong?
haleivi- stalker is the word i was thinking but couldnt put my finger on! So i subbed creep 🙂
sem613- very true. But fkelly didnt specify if it was s/o she knew well or just knew and connected the dots, which does happen also
fkelly- it’s a point to consider, but not sure a big enough concern to not let them know? Dunno. CR care to opine?
DY- yes, agreed.
Saying their sn now might send some creeps looking for the personal info that revealed them… Hope not
dy- that’s why I specified dairy!
Syag- but if those are your favorites, i’d be happy to partake in any 1 or 2 or 3 from THAT list. All the good stuff there… And meat aside, your list and mine have large overlap
i do know someone who had a severe case of crohn’s (it can be very mild for some). It did affect shidduchim while he struggled to get it under control/find the right diet or meds. But once he did, no.
5 seconds, hm? Wow you’re a fast typer!! 🙂
mmmmmmm syag, next time you make a dairy party, can i come?
nice rhyme shopping!!
hlm- depends how long ur tongue is!
Nonikname- or b or p
fkelly- to let them save face, probably best to just post here to that poster that you think theyve given hemselves away and should be careful not to post more personal info
if you didnt know anything about the boy other than the few points you heard 2nd hand, you should clarify that when you suggest it, so the mother in this case could find out more basic facts before spending a lot of time on a non-match. If you did, and it just turned out to be not appropriate for her daughter, then she should thank you for your efforts and thinking of her!
thx
syag-haha, that was my thought too!
they said it was time to go to sleep
and so i did
wiy- ”no patience to work on patience”
then kal v’chomer. seriously, get cracking. You’ve got a middah clearly shown to you to be worked on. Thats a bracha. Nu?
cinderella- lol. Welcome back.
Latelatelate
you wish i ate
runrunrun
no time for fun
i agree with both the sides presented here abt how it can damage or can encourage change. I think a big differentiation is between shaming, labeling and teasing. They arent neccesarily the same thing, and teasing is often not meant in a painful way, like for a sibling to tease a 2 yo sibling for mispronouncing a word. Even that kind can be damaging but doesnt have to be.
Yes, i’ve been affected by teasing. One biggie- after being told in kindergarten that a particular answer i gave not just was wrong, but made absolutely no sense, and got laughed at by the teacher, i stopped making guesses for answers in class. After being laughed down in third grade in the first week of school, i stopped raising my hand in class. Unless i was completely lost or 100% sure of an answer, i never asked questions, offered answers, suggested insights. Turned out, both times i asked my parents when i got home, and had been correct, too.
In high school, i tried working on myself, but after being laughed at by the teacher for my answer on ‘what is the question on this pasuk’, i stopped again for good. From myself, i know lo habayshan lomed is true, but it wasnt enough to motivate me to speak up in class again, not through high school and not in sem.
I try not to take MYSELF to the malls blasting holiday music. Often bring an mp3 along. But kids, I think, would notice the music playing year round. Is the music this month worse? It’s probably cleaner.
Hang around them til you learn to hear them out and be more patient.
On a similar note, general awareness notice: don’t finish a sentence or a word for a stutterer!
and i think the who was his mother in law??
so tempted to send my brother in to scout you out
notasheep- 🙂 and how do you keep a wave upon the sand?
nope, sorry i dont recognize it
my brother claps with one hand. looks gross to me but works! palm against arm