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we dont have set suppers for different days of the week, but i prefer milchigs thursday nites because the next 3 meals i sit down to will be fleishig, and i like milchig better! 🙂
if i had to make up a reason for pizza it’d be that the mothers (or fathers) spent thursday and friday cooking and baking, and now after everyone cleans up from shabbos, anyone would appreciate a night off from preparing supper.
complain about your trying to incite people, yes. you really enjoy starting argumentative and controversial debates, but why? It can be funny for you to see others get riled up over your comments or turn your sarcastic into treason, but for the others who get insulted, hurt, upset, offended… is it worth it?
i won’t weigh in on that part of the debate, but is there a problem of rereading an entry that is loshon hora yourself, at a later point? to hear the l”h anew, even if there’s no speaker? also i could hear its a problem to reawaken old hard feelings?
-SM
and here i didnt ask for a bracha cuz i felt wrong to, not ‘knowing’ you here even. For the record, some posters get numerous replies because they are controversial or people feel the need to defend themselves. That kinda attention isnt desirable. Much better to be popular in a positive light but get a few less responses. Hope you’ll stay…
this is an interesting question. Cuz it is a good way to let off steam, but even if there’s no concern of others reading it, is there a problem of the writer rereading it later on? Zahavasdad- that sounds like a good idea, but to rip up my diary? Hm
hey puppy! Thanks for that and for the compliment. Ur right about it being the hardest to be mechazek myself… I know all my arguments! I’m doing… In all honesty not so hot right now. Hoping after monday when some of the stresses pass i’ll be less overwhelmed, but for now, just trying to stay afloat. Lifesavers accepted! And thanks for believing in me. Hugs go 2 ways, yknow? :-](sad smile) so (hug) back! And keep that poetry coming, ur posts are missed around here!
i did some of my own googling for you and found a site that said it’s from Morah Blanka of the Mitzvah Tree. does that sound correct?
yehudayona- who dont know them well, yes. Who dont know their personality. Or havent spoken to them for more than 30 min. Or only ‘know’ them from the piece of paper and rave they heard from the single’s aunt’s cousin’s son-in-law. ohhhhhhhhhh yes. in fact, thats what most people who go to meet a shadchan are doing, is it not?
woh AZ now ur getting judgemental. Not ‘everyone’ has that perception. Occasionally it actually is true too. And there’s nothing ‘fishy’ about not having dated in 6 months. There still are less singles in that age group than 19 year olds, and its true that older singles for that reason are sometimes overlooked. They may not be being redt what they are looking for. There might not be enough people who know what they’re looking for to redt them shidduchim. There may be less girls looking for someone still learning at that age. I’d be completely surprised if a 29 year old who’s been dating for 6 years got 2 dates a week, simply because those who know him have likely suggested those they thought appropriate already, and have no new names to suggest. Yes, thats where my opinion of getting your name out comes from. Though after bad dating experiences, some singles are only open to hearing suggestions from those who know them. Dont accuse the single boys because he gets less dates. Thats not so fair.
thanks to all those who posted in response. Dave, luna, jmh, mischiefmaker- thanks for the advice, encouragement, inspiration, understanding and sharing. It means a lot to know i’m not alone. Sorry i dont have the emotional energy for more of a response now.
And luna- good work on the first piece capturing the achdus sandy brought.
going in to pick up a slice of pizza to take home isnt the problem. But its quite easy to bump into someone and sit down and shmooze, and thats why people say to not go at all. Not giving my opinion on the matter, just passing along what ive been told.
az- thanks, well explained.
Shalomtoyou- the non-replies and pushing off bothers me immensely too. Interestingly i find it a lot more common from the boys. But perhaps she’s busy but waiting to see where it goes before saying no and losing her chance, or doing a lot of researching. Hope she will send a reply soon though. Noone enjoys being left hanging. And my best advice is still to get your name out there. To different cities and states too. A good friend of mine hasnt had even 8 dates in 6 years so i get it. Hatzlocha.
i said where are they hiding in jest. But meant just like you’re askin where the girls are, the girls can’t see to find boys to date. In BMG yes, but have they gotten their name out that they’re looking, beyond the 2 official bmg shadchanim. as for a list, i’ve got 18 girls on the top of my list. And thats not an exclusive list. 3 are 24, the other 15 are 25-34. Boys? I’ve got 5 names, of which 3 are not open to most suggestions. So hence my common teasing refrain, where are all the 27+ boys hiding?
yosey- if you are a shadchan , do NOT try to redt everyone u meet, or you’ll soon realize how many people avoid you. The majority of people i know (yes there are exceptions) do not appreciate it when someone who didnt know they existed 5 minutes ago suddenly knows ”the perfect match for you!!”. If you’d like to ask someone what they’re looking for, first ask if they’d like to share, and then dont just pull a name out of a hat cuz, hey theyre both tall! Be considerate- the shidduch scene isnt an easy one, and the less unthought out dates someone has to endure, the better. Imo
a 29 year old bachur and plenty of similar friends? Where are you guys hiding out???? There are many more single girls than boys of the same age over 25 or whatever. But anyhow, i myself know so many single girls 25+ but the boys seem to be hiding out! When a boy begins dating, often he is bombarded with names of girls anywhere in age from 2 yrs older to 10 yrs younger. Girls tend to start dating earlier, but there arent so many boys dating at 19, so their choice at that point is smaller.
But if you havent gotten suggestions in 6 mths, get your name out there, cuz there isnt a shortage of girls looking.
CallMeDave- thank you and welcome back! and thank you for the reminder and message, and even in poetry!
just wanna apologize syag. Thanks for reading n responding.
This name is already taken- what joy do you get from bumping old old threads by responding to trivial points in them? I honestly don’t understand the excitement in doing it
thx batseven
opinion: it’s always better to have same-gender, as with a doctor. But if someone specializes or if someone is more beneficial, or there is no equal therapist of the same-gender, then opposite gender would be muttar. I’m sure the frum therapists have steps they are told by their rav to take, such as leaving the door slightly ajar, or the secretary popping in at any time, etc.
But please posters, can we disagree b’nachas, and not b’insult? Its thoughts and opinions and experiences, it doesnt have to get personal or include onaas dvorim. Thanks so much 🙂
uhoh 🙂
but thanks. You were right here, it is fun to derail tense threads into random convo
umm i think my point was missed, but that wasnt meant to be posted.
Syah- i did click on this thread cuz ur sn was as last poster
mods- why is this thread still open? Is there any purpose or benefit? Is there any kosher conversation coming out? I skimmed the last 2 pages and mostly saw a lot of venom, insults, onaas devorim, motzi shem ra and loshon hora. Please. This thread is turning into a horrible thing. Why keep it open?
do what?
Yes, that was bitter, sorry
Does anyone out there hear my calls
does anyone out there care?
Will anyone give me relief from my burden
when it is too much to bear?
Does anyone read my unrhymed cries
does anyone hear the heavy sigh
will anyone give me a chance to unload
and a chance to wipe my eye
does anyone even realize when
i lie for hours in bed?
does noone know the inner turmoil
dancing around in my head?
Does noone notice the forlorn look
i can no longer hide?
the mask has cracked, i’ve been revealed
but who stays by my side?
One by one they all drift off
afraid of what they see
the pain i carry frightens them
do they know that it frightens me?
But i forge on, i forward march
i try and try again
when there is someone encouraging
when supported by mentor or friend
when you threaten to desert me
i begin to fall apart
the loneliness, it burns me deep
pierces my armored heart
my need to talk, to share my pain
at times seems unsatiable
and you wonder how much you can take
you question if i’m stable
but years of shutting emotions inside
retaliate with a vengeance
for my learning to share what i feel and think
for daring to breach that fence
yes, i have to relearn how to do it alone
but til then, you know what’d be nice?
an ear to listen with sympathy
and another to debate advice
for now, i slowly wither away
see how my spirit dies
my motivation is down to zero
my cheerful moods are lies
slipping further downward
into the darkest abyss
but you know what? Most people dont notice
i dont feel i am very missed
ICOT- yasher koach, really well written
luna- that was lovely 🙂
shnitzy- i liked that piece!! Really. Sweet determination.
Shout out to all the quiet or past posters
i think i have the sheet music. Chords or notes?
how do you know
if its worse this time
or just cuz its now
that it seems so?
was last time easier?
was it not so bad?
or is that cuz it’s passed
and memory fades?
Am i doing worse now
or is it not true?
is it really the same
but i forgot how to cope?
Whats happened?
Where did i go?
Where is my strength?
Where is my soul?
Why am i like this?
Why is it like this?
Whats going on?
Whats wrong with me??? :'(
…friend to lift you out of a bad mood.
…friendly debate and discussion.
…vacation after an overdose of work.
…dose of sunshine and fresh air.
…line/joke.
well, that’s one example of putting words into other people’s mouths 🙂
this should be ur biggest complaint all year, and you shouldnt know of such things
nas- :). While i’m not soo into music like that, i know people who are, who dry up without it during omer. I definitely use it as an escape and mood transformer tho, and without my piano for release, the 3 weeks and omer can be quite tough. Hope you can put music to jmh’s poem then n share!
puppy- maybe not understand, but can try, can care, can sympathize and empathize. But no, noone may ever fully understand,bu can get close
ah, another musician among us! Well then, nas, go for it! 🙂
i rly like ur poem. But maybe i’m just biased cuz i love sitting in the empty park just letting the nature touch me, and watching and listening. Nahhh, i still like the poem 🙂
middlepath, i think that was a call for you!
shnitzy- that was really nice, and beautiful message. Welcome!
Jmh- now THAT is a song i want to hear. That was amazing, the emotions hit me. Sometimes you just have to hear that your tears really do go somewhere and matter. Thanks for sharing, just when i needed.
squeak- 😀 awesome!
🙁 sending a hug
After years of searching, LOOK WHAT I FOUND! Shwekey sheet music!! Enjoy it, people, cuz i know I will!!
thanks for explaining! I was also thinking along syag’s lines, but i didnt think of the chance to help part, and i thought i must be missing the meaning.
i’d think it wouldnt be a big deal either way. If your nose can use the wipes, then leave it. If you find it dries out the skin on your nose, then wipe it off. It shouldnt matter so much one way or the other.
the ”ideal” seminary is the one that is a good fit for you, with your hashkafos, learning level, and type. Because that is where you can grow the most in your way. And is that not the point of seminary? Or are you also encouraging going to sem merely to try and get a step ahead in shidduchim, which in itself is an illusion? This concept of needing to go to sem for shidduchim, and that being the main factor noch besser, seriosuly bothers me.
yeahhh it didnt last too long, but for a short while twice today
too deep for me to follow actaully. sorry.
sighhhhhhhhhhhhh, here comes the big D…
so why wake up a questionable thread that has long been buried?
Well, now Gmail is down. All those who have power and even internet can now get a bit of that disconnection plus too. Yay!!
phewwww! And theres a woosh of breath being let out.
Yeah, there are a few people who know who i am here…
huh?? You never really thought about that? Or did i miss the sarcasm??