SaysMe

talmud- sorry, i thought you were being sarcastic. my apologies

HIIIIII think first!! Have a wonderful Pesach with your new wife! and thanks for dropping in!

i was just practicing my sharp turns! Did i hit any cars? Nooo. I’m good at knowing how much space i have around me. And you gotta be ready for ANYthing on the FDR

i left, it’s okay, everyone can carry on pushing mentor, rav and documentation, quicker, sooner, now.

is swiss air different from aerosvit? Maybe thats what i’m mixing up

kugel?

sw33t- People used to say the same things to me all the time: “why dont you call the police?” ” you have to go to therapy right now !!”

and i remember feeling like “why dont you live 5 minutes in my life, and then go back to telling me what to do!”

thanks for putting my niggling discomfort into words.

aproudbyg- feel free to disagree with me here

but i also felt that way sw33t. That people make assumptions. think the worst. tell me i’m destroying myself. But they don’t really know my life. the details. the way i react, and my personality. my interactions with my mother. how bad or how often things may happen.

aproudbyg mentioned the shirt and throat incidents. i am NOT justifying it even if it was only once, but from some of the reactions here, it seems people are saying that if she doesn’t get help, be it mentor or police,or get out of her house by the end of the week, she is being suicidal, or it may be “too late”. she didn’t say how often outbursts occur, but people assume every time she sees her mother, her mother yells at her. that her entire pesach is going to be misery with not a moment of peace. That it’s imperative that she records incidents (is there any legal issue there btw?), because of the ‘likelihood’ that she’ll need it in the future.

perhaps we should all take a step back, including myself. aproudbyg said she knows the next step and is working on implementing it. she doesn’t want to get the police involved (B”H!) or go to a rav yet(speaking to myself here), so we can stop pushing those. She knows who she wants to approach, and will as soon as she can. perhaps we can encourage a positive outlook to pesach? perhaps it will be overall more good than bad? I feel like we’re pushing a fearful and negative attitude, when the positive emuna and outlook she already has are the best ones she CAN have.

aproudbyg seems quite smart, clearheaded, and ready to act. Let’s show some trust in her, and give her the space to get her thoughts and emotions together to make that step, without criticizing her decision of when and how to act next.

he’s a man, ready for marriage. You should have spoken directly to the boy, NOT to his mother, unless that had already failed and you knew he’d listen from his mother. Hilchos loshon hora still apply. That all said, as an experienced shadchan and coach, this is the first time you had constructive criticism to give back, that you’re unsure how you should have acted??

doesnt swiss let you take an extra bag?

aproudbyg- you are a very special person. And you make bais yaakov and klal yisrael proud

i haven’t read it but have hear people rave about dual discovery by z. Hoffman

black clouds are approaching

they bring a foreboding air

blotting out the sun’s warm rays

the light is not seen there

theyre rolling towards me steadily

with warning thunder calls

shadow approaching on the ground

a hush begins to fall

one by one, they turn their face

and look up at the sky

the gloomy dark, it quiets them

from bird to beast to fly

the rumbling seems threatening

a masked but fearsome thing

i just sit still, silent, waiting

see what it will bring

the darkness is still nearing

the clouds are overhead

afraid, i want to run and hide

‘neath the blanket of my bed

and then the cold comes reaching

its fingers towards my heart

but dread has frozen me, made me numb

i can’t seem to depart

its icy tendrils wrap their touch

’round my hurt and pain

the cares seem to depart with speed

but sadness does remain

talmud- no pun intended= no pun in ten did

puppy- i juuuust signed in expressly to revive this thread. Thanks!

I love your piece, so heart breaking :'( but such a beautiful view on it. I like how you layout your poems always

i don’t see giving pesach off a matter of the boss being generous. He is giving it as their paid legal holiday days, which he has to do, he just changed around the dates to benefit them more. Sunday has nothing to do with the fact that they get off pesach.

On another point, why don’t you get paid for sunday work??

most people dont. Its takes an older mind to put it all together an full comprehend. And a rebbi i spoke to said it should be that way, and its a bad idea to show a kid the full picture, because when younger, they need that security etc. You can speak to a rav from a different small community perhaps. The pro of your rav is that he knows your family and parents somewhat, and he can actively help and can speak to your parents. Its a big pro… But you have to be comfortable. I understand what you are saying though. (if i am guessing at your community though, i know who the rav is, and know he does work with some of the high school girls one on one and really has helped a number.)

You WERE able to just deal with and dismiss it for many years. But with age comes changes in understanding it, maturity, comprehension, ability and in how you deal with things. And your perpective on it will likely continue to shift and change. You are at the stage of wanting changes to happen now. You are ready to do something about it. And asking for advice and wanting to vent is a step forward. It helps many a LOT (like me 🙂 ), others less, but is a regular change most teens hit, to talk things out rather than keeping them held in. And can be healthy and beneficial. It is NOT however called making it into a big deal!! K?? Good, glad we got that part clear 🙂

adams- interestingly, all of us here who have mothers like this are suggesting avoiding the police though, and to rather find a mentor, rav, coach, psyc… I do think that says something.

byg- rabbonim do do that sometimes to avoid starting a shmooze with a girl. If you’d call him on the phone, even anonymously, i think you’d find him acting differently in that setting. If you are comfortable with how the convo goes, you can later say who you are. Also, how about his wife? btw, after the reaction you said your principal gave about bullying, i wouldnt go to her with your home situation even if she did have time.

i knew someone was bound to say it sooner or later. Sighhhh

actually, my gums rarely get inflamed ever.

an evil teehee also sounds kind of pathetic

aproudbyg- did u say poetry :)? If poems speak to you, go to the thread ‘att poetry people’. Read it from the beginning (really pg 3 maybe? But i cant remember). Maybe it’ll even get revived. Used to be a chevra of us, who all were in or knew pain, expressed through poems and not, giving support, listening, caring, understanding… It helped me through some tough patches. Many of those posters left, but i wish they were still here and the thread was still going. It was amazing. It’s long, but use it as distraction from the yelling perhaps. It’s a very emotional and powerful thread, it’s witnessed posters ups and downs, and contains both support, similar feelings, and ideas. Perhaps it can also speak to you

rabbi_dr- either all 3 dentists i’ve been through have been incompetent or thats not true. i used to not brush often at all, but very well the morning of, and ALWAYS got the comments of, wow looks like you take good care of your teeth. you brush daily or twice daily? and i see you must floss often too! and i’d nod and laugh evilly inside

maybe he needs a different one….

there are ppl who care about you, and don’t you forget it!

KIT if you have any more questions, want support, or just want to vent. hatzlocha rabba!!

i would imagine not… got me wondering though. ask your LOR and let us know?

jmh- since when is plastic edible?