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My mom interviewed her grandfather for a family history project. He told her “our surname was changed at Ellis Island.”
Turns out they actually immigrated through the port of Baltimore!I don’t like dogs except for the tiny fluffy ones.
Women shouldn’t play most organized sports especially more physical ones like hockey, lacrosse, & boxing. This also solves the problem of “men” in women’s sports.
Men shouldn’t wear wedding rings. Wearing jewlery isn’t masculine.
Eliminate standard time and make daylight savings permanent.
Pluto will always be a planet.
Nuclear power should not be used as an energy source because the risks are too high.
Fair trade is a scam.
Modern art is a scam.
Crypto currency is a scam and only useful for illegal activity.
Whiskey is the worst type of alcohol.
I don’t like cheesecake.
I don’t ❤ NY.
Vanilla is not it’s own flavor but the absence of chocolate.
The best time to go to the beach is winter.
Any temperature over 68 degrees indoors or outdoors is too hot.
People who run marathons are idiots.
Sorry to those I’ve offended.
Until this year nationally I would have considered myself a moderate democrat. In 2020 I voted for Biden. I despised Trump, but the anti-Trump legal proceedings plus the assasination attempt created sympathy for him from me.
When the race was Trump vs Biden I was gonna vote for Kennedy.
Israel & Kamala plus her general lack of qualifications and left wing radicalism leaves me no choice I’m all in on Trump. I’ve never even voted for a republican in a national election before!Kamala’s website has zero policy postitions!! She’s running on an empty platform of woke Identity politics.
Now most voters will not be voting based on Israel but I would never in a million years have thought I’d get on the Trump train. So the question is am I alone or are there others who generally vote centrist democrat who realize how radically left and incompetent she is?@daniela, You are correct, I should have said “closest to” correct Torah values. The things that were taught to me as Torah values are a perversion of the faith.
I do not think you are a troll. It’s not that I shouldn’t have gone, there’s certainly an arguement for that, it’s the way it was expressed. I was never taught Jews shouldn’t physically enter a church so this is the first time I’m hearing this rule; I wasn’t intentionally breaking it. For a time I was sent to school in a church.
The tough situation is not the choice of attending one friends wedding or not. That’s one event. It is the constant daily choices with no option for the correct choice and the atmosphere I’m surrounded by.
You wrote, “Of course we learn from everybody, including non jews and non religious jews.”
But in my case nonJews & non-religious Jews were all I had to learn from as I was intentionally kept away from frum Jews so that they would not teach me anything.The apikorsim are sadly much much more learned than I, but since Torah conflicts with their modern liberal values (feminism, etc.) and they lack faith in hashem and or actively oppose core religious principles, and they insist on spreading their blasphemy to other Jews, I don’t think I can guide them anywhere. Ive nudged, but they are too far gone.
Thankfully I’ve found my way out but unfortunately it will destroy a lot of lives in the process. Perhaps it’s their own fault for straying so far from the path, but it doesn’t feel good and there are certainly innocent parties involved.
Depends a bit what stage of life you’re in and what’s the underlying cause.
Are you a student, parent, retired?
Is it possibly depression, a lack of long term goals, or feeling that what you want is out of reach?If it’s depression, try volunteering to get purpose from helping others.
Need long term life goals to work towards, perhaps consult a rabbi.
Feeling that you can’t get where you want, try recalibrating. Sometimes we need to accept something wasn’t hashems plan for us even if it’s hard to let go and instead look at what our realistic options are now. Othertimes we can focus on what we can control when the big picture and outcome are not in our control. For example instead of saying my goal is to lose 10lbs (an outcome one can’t control), you say my goal is to exercise five days a week (a concrete step towards a goal you can control). Perhaps set a goal of one daily task that’s personally meaningful and motivating to you but something small and easily achievable for example study Torah 15 minutes, talk to a friend on the phone, or make a donation to tzedakah.
I hope things get better for you soon!Sorry, not trying to hijack the thread.
@AviraDeArah, Thank you!!! You always have all the answers to my dumb questions much appreciated!!!
@Gadolhadorah, Thanks for the support! 💗I know “Yiddishkeit was never about singing kumbaya around the campfire.” We can’t even drag everyone to the same campfire forget singing the same song!
Between our religious, political, and cultural divisions add on top of that I’ve seen so much ugly synagogue politics over the years. My thought was if we should be pushing to end sinas chinam to hasten the geulah, why do we only seem to abstractly pray for moschiach or the rebuilding of the beit hamikdash (a lot) but not pray to help overcome our petty differences (other then in the yamim noraim al chet which is phrased in the negative, “And for the sin which we have committed before You by sinas chinam”)? Just made sense to me. And now I will know where to focus on that in my tefillah.To the CR trolls and those who think like them, may you never find yourself in a situation where you are neither frum nor frei, where you have no community and the only Orthodox Jews you encounter in your daily life are strangers on the internet, where you’ve endured so much bullying for your Jewishness that your intial reaction to being bullied for your lack of Jewishness is to smirk at the irony, where the apikorusim have always been inside your home trying to take you down with them, where the Jews around you are so OTD the only people who taught you correct Torah values were goyim, and no there is no way out.
The Democrats are playing both sides with the Israel issue for votes. It’s common political maneuvering but they are doing it especially poorly.
As the saying goes, they stand for nothing and therefore fall for anything.I was curious if any part of our liturgy includes a prayer for unity among all Jews? I recently heard a prayer for unity among all Xians read at a friends wedding, and was like wow we really outta pray for that, but I can’t recall anything like that in our tefillahs? Sinas chinam seems to come easily to us as a people. There are too many subgroups and sub-subgroups of Jews and division always causes tension.
To answer the original poster’s question, keep studying my friend.
“Avot d’Rabbi Natan: “If you have a sapling in your hand and people tell you that the Moshiach has come, plant the sapling and then go and greet him.””@Lostspark
“when a loud fringe minority did J6 it was declared a pervasive indictment of the Rebublican party.”
One correction to what you wrote, it was an “indictment of the Republican PRESIDENT.” I don’t think it reflected poorly on the party, it wasn’t their rally beforehand.The ideological shift is pervasive among the youth and the left (including many Jews) and one of the major reasons I decided to move my affiliations further right politically and religiously. I could see the extremism that has infiltrated the old moderate left and count me out.
The youth hate Israel and the next generation of leftwing leaders will hate Jews by association which is terrifying. All leftwing movements these days are antisemitic BLM, MeToo, Critical Race Theory, DEI, BDS, etc. (Plus the woke crazies are nuts and a threat to all humanity.)
BUT the Jews have space lasers lady is definitely an antisemite. Antisemitism protected by religious freedom is still antisemitism.This country is sunk.
The flower girl from my wedding who’s all grown up and just started college at the exact wrong time has had to endure being robbed at gunpoint and hamas supporter rallies both right outside her dormroom.
The presidential election is anarchy vs. fascism. I want to vote 3rd party.@yanky1998, Well, phrased that way I actually agree with you 98%.
However I’d still caution you are mixing up political parties and Jewish religious moral values.
Our moral values don’t change over time with “progress.” Political parties reflect what the majority of Americans support at any given time.For example, Republicans as a party don’t uniformly oppose gay marriage being legalized (that ship has sailed) and 20 years ago the democratic party generally did. Congress passed the Respect for Marriage Act because there was bipartisan support with 13 Republican senators and 39 Republican house members voting for it.
The republicans overall may be more in line with our traditional religious moral values, but don’t confuse that with thinking they represent Torah values. Party platforms are not written by Rabbanim. A blue state republican and a red state democrat may actually have a lot in common in what they support. The litmus test for frum morality should not be whom you vote for, but if you accept that morality is absolute and comes from hashem.
@Shlomo2
😂🤣😂@Yanky1988 You took Reagan’s 11th commandment a little too seriously. Voting Republican is not an actual commandment. Perhaps with more time their views will change, but either way of course they should start keeping shabbos! Why would you discourage someone? One is a mitzvah the other is an opinion on others’ aveyros. It’s like telling someone they shouldn’t keep kosher because they don’t think shoplifters should go jail.
I always considered myself a political independent. I would assess the candidates on their individual merits and ideas. I registered democrat in order to vote in a primary and I never got around to undoing it until January. After being disgusted with Schumer and the others I am formally unaffiliated again.
I recently read an article in a Jewish publication talking about how in every generation there are Jews that side against their own in order to be accepted by goyish society. The Jonathan Glazer’s of the world who disavow their Jewishness. The one’s who sided with the communists, the one’s who aligned with the Hellenists. To fit in, to have power, for selfish ends they turn their backs on the rest of us and on hashem. They are the wicked son.
I always assumed since one of our Democratic Senators was Jewish (I’m not in NY) it would be safe to vote for him. He’s one of us right? He’s a good guy right? He’d watch out for his own right?
Now I have no idea which way is up?! If I can’t inherently trust another Jew then who can I trust? Neither Trump nor Biden will protect us. If our Jewish congressional representatives like Schumer and Sanders act against us then who is with us?He hit a game winning double and his belt had a white Magen David painted on it.
According to wikipedia Bader identifies as Jewish.
It sounds like he may have made that decision so he was eligible to play for Israel in the 2023 world baseball classic, not because he’s religiously Jewish.During spring training he was wearing a necklace for the hostages.
Look he may not be halachically or religiously Jewish but right now we need all the positive support in America we can get.
@modern – There’s a large space on the political spectrum between the far left and Lieberman, I believe it’s called….the democratic party.
Connecticut is a “blue state” but it’s not a “far left” state. I don’t see a far left governor getting elected here.
@CTLAWYER
It’s not so much that I’m a stickler for population statistics as still salty about losing the 6th congressional district around that time. 🙁@SquareRoot that NY Post article connecting Lamont to radical left antisemitic democrats is absurd.
“This from an article in The New York Post:
“Lamont was an early example of a candidate backed by the party’s left fringe…
In the nearly years since, that fringe has become
the dominant power in national Democratic politics.
Open anti-Semites like Representatives Ilhan Omar, Jamaal Bowman
and Rashida Tlaib spray vitriol in public as their Squad-mates cheer them on…”
@CTLawyer – (except for we’re only 3.5 million people) you’re 💯% correct on the Liberman-Lamont race.That was 2006. The radical left fringe youth of today wasn’t old enough to vote yet.
Lamont beat Lieberman in the primary not because Lamont was an extreme leftist but because Liberman Z”L had moved so far right of the democratic party at the time. Liberman supported the Iraq war, became a neo-con hawk which was the main position democrats of that time opposed, and supported the Bush administration in a very anti-Bush administration state. To us in Connecticut at the time he was indistinguishable from a republican.
Lamont is a moderate democrat and has been a strong friend of the Connecticut Jewish community and Israel.
He visited a Connecticut Jewish day school on October 10th 2023.
After the Pittsburg synagogue shooting he attended a vigil at a Connecticut JCC.
“In 2022, Lamont became the first Connecticut governor in 25 years – and the first U.S. governor in two – to send a diplomatic mission to Israel to support business ties between the country and Connecticut.”
“Feb 18, 2022
Jewish Federation of Western Connecticut
Governor Ned Lamont’s Trip to Israel
“…I thanked Governor Lamont for holding a press conference with Connecticut’s Jewish Federations announcing his support for our statewide “Shine a Light on Antisemitism” campaign. I also thanked him for issuing an Official Statement in support of that campaign endorsing the IHRA definition of Antisemitism which helps make it clear that certain kinds of criticism attacking Israel can cross the line into Antisemitism.”From 3 months ago.
“NEW HAVEN, Conn. (WTNH) — Protestors briefly took over a Greater New Haven Chamber of Commerce breakfast to criticize Gov. Ned Lamont for being the first Connecticut governor in years to go on a trade mission to Israel.
Lamont said they have the right to protest.
Nobody’s going to listen to them unless they lead off with the fact that they acknowledge and condemn the brutal and sadistic genocidal attack on October 7th, and what that did to all those young innocents there, as well,” Lamont said.”He is not busy waffling on his positions pandering for votes like Biden and Schumer.
I have seen nothing but strong support for the Jewish community and Israel from him.The immediate backlash against the current immigration wave will only help get Trump elected.
So….Business tycoons desperate for cheap labor?
“I was told that I was going to be sent out my school if I didn’t stop doing what I was doing… and all I could think is “ok I’m doing things against school rules and it’s not right, but why can’t my school teach me in the first place how to control myself or how to deal with these kind of feelings?”
My sense is the purpose of the schools rules is to teach students how to live in a way that would help you to control your actions. It’s not a formal class but it’s giving you the tools to follow to help control yourself.
As for feelings, it’s not easy.
“Who is strong? One who overpowers his inclinations.”Best to you. Remember being a teen doesn’t last forever even if it may feel that way.
Square Root, I agree with the moderators bold replies.
Whatever your intention, the way your original post was written was not ‘try to be sensitive to the feelings of your neighbors and the strangers in your midst’ and more of an ‘I hate foreigners’ rant.
Your post was directed specifically at those who live in Boro Park but this is not a community message board. As someone who lives out in goy-land, the specifics you complained of were small inconveniences that Jews living among gentile majorities everywhere else must deal with as well as a lot worse.
Perhaps because some of us have to constantly deal with these daily inconveniences and cultural suppressions what you said HURT US! We felt personlly attacked by your words. Everywhere else in America we are assimilated into nothingness until our Yiddishkeit is no more because of protecting the sensitive feelings of the gentile majority who think there’s some sort of war on xmas bc people now say happy holidays. Are you really suggesting to be sensitive to the feelings of our neighbors we should keep our businesses open on Shabbos and marry the goy next door??? Because that is what ends up happening everywhere else in America that is not fortunate enough to be a Jewish enclave.
Ethnic neighborhood turnover is very common in America.
It has it’s pros and cons with every new group.
Some choose to stay others leave.
Where my grandfather grew up was once an Irish neighborhood, then Jewish while he was there, then black, then Polish, now Filipino (or something along those lines). Some neighborhoods change when more people move in and become much busier others are affected negatively as everyone leaves. Others are taken over by woke hippsters. Neighborhoods rarely stay exactly the same.SquareRoot what’s your point?
Are you crying boo-hoo that there’s a few places in America that goyim aren’t actually in the majority?
You are sounding a bit antisemtic; it’s like a borrowed xenophobic rant.I don’t use Instagram and am often amazed by the useless artistry that goes into food these days. It looks amazing but it tastes mediocre. If they want a repeat customer in me I’d prefer the opposite. I buy food to eat it not to catalog it.
That’s why I said essential and not mitzvah. In America most things we do for Hanukkah are borrowed from the goyim who borrowed from the pagans. Anyone seen those giant inflatable lawn dreidels? What’s the big constant? The winter solstice is a miserable, dark, depressing time of year that needs some light & joy added. I included spending time with family because that is important, and while more of a goyish tradition, if I don’t manage to get to my in-laws for latkes my mother-in-law will turn me into chopped liver!
Happy Hanukkah!!! 🕎
This year I decided to focus just on the essentials – lighting the menorah & time with family. In past years I’ve spent so much time decorating and undecorating the house, it’s become burdensome. Why bother? Living simpler is less stressful, but the modern world wants everything to be so complex it takes away from the joy at the heart of the holiday.
Depends how you view the religion of capitalism….
I cannot read American news anymore. The constant lies across the board to support the narrative of Israel being the “bad guy” are sickening and infuriating.
Shout out to YWN for keeping me informed while helping me maintain safe blood pressure levels.@Lakewhat, why the need to make an obvious and correct statement and then give credit to an idiotic anti-semite?
Crying victim over minor unintended slights is a general leftist behavior for all “special interest” groups.
Both the Woke and Maga crowds traffic in antisemitism. That’s the scary part, that’s the one thing they agree on.DaMoshe I agree 100%
“Unfortunately, nowadays, most politicians can’t think for themselves. They just blindly follow the party line, especially at the Federal level.”
Feels the same way with many voters who blindly vote party without learning anything about the candidates.
Politics has become a team sport in America, and sadly people would prefer that their team win even if it means that their country will lose.
Democratic politicians from Texas and Republicans from Massachusetts likely end up with similar voting patterns. Party affiliation means little, please do your homework before voting.
“Russian influence in EY shouldn’t be ignored.
Bibi and Putin were tight until munitions were sent to Ukraine under American pressure. Oh wait now Hamas strikes….”Lostspark, that is a good point. This may also explain why Trump changed his allegiance too.
There will be darkeness in the world until moshiach comes. We can counter it by being the light. Stop following the news for a few days, and find a way to help people. I’ve seen so much good happening right now among Jews helping each other, supply drives, fundraisers, praying for others, community rallies, comforting each other, doing new mitzvot. Find a way to help others it will chase out the darkness.
@50minusONE, I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with depression. I’ve definitely been there.
Unfortunately there are few quick or easy fixes. Also with winter approaching the shorter days are especially difficult for those with seasonal depression.
Best advice I can offer is activity.
Find an exercise you enjoy, try walking or jogging outside to get fresh air and daylight (also get as much natural light inside your home as possible), perhaps your JCC offers something of interest?
Get something on your calendar to look forward to like a meet up with friends, a weekly class, plan a visit to a museum, or take a trip to a new city to explore.
Volunteering especially with children or pets can be very gratifying and is a great way to feel needed and loved.
Find a new hobby, gardening can be therapeutic and you can start small with 1 indoor plant.
Reach out to others for support, the CR is a good start.Electoral College – I’ve always thought the EC is a bizzare system. Unless you’re a swing state no politicians will pay attention to your concerns on a national level.
The EC at least should change to proportional representation of the vote instead of winner take all within each state. Maine and Nebraska already do this.And speaking of gaming the system technically the EC is individuals selected to represent the voters and they can vote how they want so how can you ensure there won’t be a repeat of the fake electors scheme from Jan 6 with the EC system which allows for faithless electors who are not necessarily bound to vote in a way that reflects the results of the vote?
Technically part of the design was to prevent someone like Trump attaining office in the first place by allowing a mechansim for the political class elites to overrule the will of the voters, “Hamilton was also concerned about somebody unqualified but with a talent for “low intrigue, and the little arts of popularity” attaining high office.”
ACA – in order for some people to pay less others had to pay more. In this case healthy people who in the past might not have purchased insurance or had inexpensive plans now subsidize the care others receive thus reversing adverse selection. They won’t always be healthy so just as we pay into all insurances for the time it will help us, we contribute to a system when we don’t need it in anticipation of a time we will.
While I don’t disagree with the idea of implementing it first on a state basis, there were other considerations here. Our system is a hybrid hodge podge of national public (Medicare/Medicaid/VA) and state level private insurance policies. They were trying for a national public option but that never materialized. Also asking those who are ill to just wait a few years maybe a decade for assistance while a few other states test drive a new system is not ideal either. Insurers prefered that the pool of healthy individuals joining was as large as possible to help offset the new mandates of covering preexisting conditions and ending lifetime limits etc. States with smaller populations would likely have struggled with this.
Overall our medical insurance system and medical care systems both still need tremendous structural changes but the ACA allowed for increasing the accessibility of medical care for broad segments of the population which in my opinion is a good thing. I would suggest the best path forward is one national public plan like Medicare that covers all universally funded through taxes and then individuals who choose to can purchase additional supplement plans themselves or have those provided through their employer which would also help relieve the burden on businesses of covering medical costs for their employees. The medical care system itself needs such an extreme overhaul at this point it’s almost better to start from scratch.
3rd party candidates – if the election is Trump vs Biden the 3rd party candidates will come out of the woodwork. One of them might even win!
Neither Trump nor Biden become their party’s candidates due to some lame excuses…forgot to file paperwork, in jail, spend time with the grandkids, in jail, more time to golf….
Kamala Harris becomes the democratic party’s nominee since they have no viable candidates. She selects a token white male as her running mate.
Pence runs with Haley as VP and they win in a landslide.Sneak up behind them and blow a shofar 🙂
@4980112t Thank you for your brave words!
Divorce is still such a taboo topic throughout modern society.
Perhaps it’s because people fear it and the difficulties that go along with it, that you are all too familiar with. There’s no magic formula to avoiding it so you are unfairly penalized by association.It is unfair that you or any child of divorce bears the stigma from the decisions of others. It is also unfair to you that after having your own childhood uprooted you are now delayed in putting down the roots of your own family as an adult which you deserve more than most for that same reason.
I’m sorry things are hard for you, and I hear your pain. I wish I could help fix it, but just bringing awareness to the issue is a step in the right direction. I would be proud to be your future mother-in-law.
Anyone ever heard of the Drahichyn Golem before?
I can’t find much out there besides this article and a brief mention on the JewishGen town page.
And why would he forbid his children from becoming rabbis rather than just telling them not to study Kabbalah? It almost makes Rabbis sound supernatural like mystical wizards rather than someone who is a learned and wise teacher and leader. But I suppose those saying that todays Gaonim can great golems do see a mystical/supernatural element in them? So it’s not really the golem that is the Jewish superhero but the Rabbis who control them that have the superpowers???Source
link removed“The last Polish golem
It is probable that the last golem on Polish soil was created by Rabbi Dovid Yafa (Yaffe, Yaffo) in 1800 in Drahichyn in Polesie (in today’s Belarus – not the more famous Drohiczyn in the Podlasie region of Poland). Reb Dovid was a descendant of the famous Rabbi Mordechai Yafa. However, as Jacek Moskwa explains, Reb Dovid far surpassed his ancestor in kabbalistic skills.According to one of the versions of the story – which, as Jacek Moskwa highlights, doesn’t appear in other variants of the golem legend – the Drahichyn Golem was a kind of shabes-goy, which means that he performed all the chores forbidden to Jews during shabes. In winter, he would light up fire in ovens and stoves, which was very important. The golem would always receive his orders one day earlier, so that the religious law wasn’t infringed upon.
One day, as a result of a mistake made in the order, the golem started a fire which burned down the whole shtetl. Following this catastrophe, Rabbi Dovid commanded his children that they never follow in his footsteps and become rabbis. According to the family tradition, this fatherly precept was observed.”
“If only one becomes a baal teshuva, do they need to divorce?”
Dare to dream!
Sorry to put all of my troubles out here CR but this topic which may have been meant purely as a hypothetical fit too well with something I’ve been struggling with lately.
It is not an easy thing to end a marriage especially when children are involved, even if it is the right thing, even if there are religious grounds (verbal abuse seems to qualify so sadly I believe I would have grounds), even if he has always stifled my religious devotion. I am not blameless, I am not an easy person to be married to (as he often reminds me), but who does not have their flaws? All I can do is pray that hashem softens my husband’s heart, and gives me the strength to endure for the sake of the children. Even with couples counseling while the improvement has been noticeable, he still hurts me with his words every day. He says it is my fault that what he says hurts me, that I’m misinterpreting what he says, I am being too sensitive, or he is stressed at something else and to ignore the tone, profanity, and anger in what he says. But when someone says they hate you how else can you interpret it?
He was away for a week and came back today and berated me for coddling the toddler in his absence. 🥺 Is it a wonder I did not miss him while he was gone?He originally blockaded my religious journey for example guess who pressured me to stop keeping kosher as I had for my entire life before we met, he did not want to celebrate shabbat with my friends but make plans for us to go out on friday nights with his, he will begrudgingly celebrate a few holidays a year or attend maybe one service if he has no conflicting plans. Once upon a time he treated me very well so I was willing to overlook his lack of religious devotion because he seemed devoted to me and I thought he would never hurt me. How wrong I was. I am not looking for anyone’s sympathy or even advice. I just really needed a space where I could share this safely and anonymously. Thanks for reading.
Aww thanks @Shimon Nodel & @ujm! Your words are so kind & encouraging! 🥰 Except for the name calling, but I’m not sure what mumar letayavon means anyway.
I’ve been rapidly flying to the right of where I’ve been, but you don’t know what you don’t know. I did attend 2 different Torah studies this week (chabad & MO), and 2 services on shabbat (Reform & MO) so I’m working hard on moving in a good direction in advance of Rosh Hashanah. I even began to wonder whether I need to stop attending the services at the Reform shul altogether to prevent myself from potentially backsliding but I think that might be too drastic a change for me at the moment. I get a lot more out of the service itself and what I see there continues to remind me of why I’m pushing myself way out of my comfort zone. Perhaps at some point in the future I will get there.CholentBeans – I’m not sure what part sounds so silly? I come from a non-orthodox Jewish background, but I am very dissatisfied with the laxness in halacha and liberal secular politics being encouraged at reform and conservative shuls. I am trying to learn more but have very limited resources and lots and lots of questions.
If alcohol and cigarettes are allowed why is it so strange to ask about marijuana? It has a societal stigma from years of being illegal but is it really so much worse than alcohol and cigarettes which are certainly both unhealthy? It’s no longer illegal so the issue of following secular laws would now be moot. It has some medical applications which in Judaism can often lead to exceptions. I would much prefer it was illegal for non-medical use under secular law, but it is allowed so is it that strange for me to wonder what’s the deal here from the halachic perspective?
If religious Jews don’t go to baseball games, who’s buying the glatt kosher hot dogs they sell at yankee stadium?
I think I get what you’re saying though about generally trying to live a life of moral example and holding ourselves as Jews to a higher standard than those around us. Just as poor behavior reflects negatively on ones parents, our poor behavior reflects negatively on Avinu Malkeinu. Thank you for explaining this! And I appreciate everyone’s patience with me.Lululemon somehow turned an undergarment into an outergarment.
Yiddish, did you just notice this? You were the first commentor since then. 🙂
Commonsaychel – Lol, I’ve never been mistaken for frum before but I’ll take the compliment! I figured the minimum qualifications were keeping kosher and being shomer shabbos. While I have a strong aversion to chazer, I can’t say I meet those criteria. I was wondering where I picked up writing G-d which I’ve been doing as long as I can remember. It must have been from my mother who is kinda frum but placed her liberal and feminist values ahead of her Jewish ones. I don’t share her liberal values, so this is likely why I’m so mixed up as to where I fit in religiously. Anyone got a quiz I can take? Which Jewish denomination is right for you???
Alcoholism – what I think happened was my father likely saw some study like that which said Jews as a group have a lower (but not a zero) rate of alcoholism in their communities in comparison to other ethnic groups. He took it to mean there was some cultural reason we couldn’t become alcoholics which is nonsense. My parents would make comments about how our shul replaced the kiddish wine on the bima with grape juice because there were some alcoholics in the congregation, but they could only be non-Jewish spouses or converts because Jews don’t become alcoholics. It’s similar to saying this problem doesn’t exist in our community or hashem and Torah make us immune from the pitfalls of the secular world. You see what you want to see until you have a wake up call. Had my dad had a friend who secretly had a drinking problem or wanted to come to him for advice can you imagine the shame they would feel hearing comments like this? The stigma and getting help for these things are hard enough, there’s no need to make it more difficult by denying the existence of an issue.
Marijuana – I’m curious what’s the actual halacha here? It’s no longer illegal most places and while it’s had a conservative cultural stigma against it, is there any actual Jewish law against its use? I know my ggpa who was chassidic smoked cigarettes but that was before they knew they were so bad for your health. I can’t stand how universal marijuana use has become with legalization, but that doesn’t mean it’s actually prohibited.
AviraDeArah – You strike me as having the innocence and idealism of youth. Hashem gives us each our challenges Jew and non-Jew alike. We are human not superhuman. Also how do you see something so awful as what you did at the 7/11 and still think frum Jews don’t regularly fall victim? I think perhaps you view addiction as a moral failing which is why you are convinced that the Torah protects us by holding us to higher levels of morality than others? While casual drug use (like occasional marijuana use) which is in the morally questionable category is likely much less prevelent in the frum world, drug addiction is different. It can sometimes start that way, but it can also start with prescription pain pills from a doctor which has nothing to do with moral failings. It can start with untreated mental health issues and a lack of resouces. It can start with trauma and abuse that are kept secret. These things exist in the frum and secular worlds.
Every community has those with mental health needs that are not sufficiently addressed, people in need of support, and those who in the absence of healthy outlets (sports, art, friends, support groups) will turn to unhealthy outlets. This is universal.
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Menachem Shmei – That’s a good question.
My understanding of alcoholism is that its really an addiction where you can’t stop even if you want to, have physical withdrawls, drink more than you meant to, make poor choices, and it causes problems in someone’s life.
None of the above applies for me.However during a particularly difficult period in my life I realized I was essentially drinking one drink a day. This is not considered excessive but it was not a healthy trajectory. I was using it to cope as I find it calms my anxious mind which they say can lead to alcohol dependency.
Making statements like ‘these things don’t happen to people like us or in our community’ just make the shame and secrecy deeper and make it that that much harder for people to get help.
My father used to tell me that Jews couldn’t become alcoholics because they introduced children to alcohol at a young age (I must have been allowed manischewitz wine at kiddish since about age 8). Well that’s not how that works and while thank G-d I never became an alcoholic, I developed a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol to deal with anxiety and depression. Since I had a false sense of security that alcoholism could never happen to me, I missed some of the early warning signs in my behavior and was not as cautious as I might have been otherwise.
Fyi – I am not frum, I went to public school K-12, and I’ve never used marijuana. So much for your stereotypes….
“However, I guess none of these ehrliche medical geniuses have children who have ever “shared” some snacks during recess or lunch with stuff other kids brought from home.”
As a parent its nuts (pun intended) to me that this is now the view! My son is young. I’ve seen him lick food directly off the table at school bc the boy next to him did it! He eats stuff he finds on the floor. One time he tried to eat one of those 4th of July noisemakers because he thought it was candy!
Tell me you’ve never been the parent of a toddler without telling me you’ve never been the parent of a toddler…..
“A group of allergists belonging to Israeli Medical Association published research saying that kids with food allergies are not a risk of serious reactions if others bring allergenic foods to class.”