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I know you arent going to believe it but my all time favorite car is the Prius, even though I am not a tree-hugger and I can give to hoots about the environment, you really can not beat the 42 MPG…
If we were going to go luxury, for an SUV I’d have to say a tricked out Range Rover, IDK thats always been my favorite. Altho, the new Lincolns are looking pretty sweet…
Sedan, I gotta say the Audi A8. Altho, if we kick it up a notch the new sporty addition to the Maserati family, the Quattroporte looks like something I can get used to.
Did you see the Hyundai Equus? They are doing some fine things down there at the Hyundai plant.
They mean dont take it personally.
Brisker
Meaning its not a make it or break it thing.
I prefer we he not want it. If its something very important to him, it may raise a red flag. On the other-hand, if its something he is working on, I can work with that.
Everything in life isnt so cut and dry.
Its true I do love all things cosmetic… 😀
…And now its just plain freaky that you know I drive fast. Was that an assumption?
(your wrong about the car btw 😉
I guess you have that organizational mind where every things gotta have a label, huh?
“Yeshivish, but not an aidel maidel” hmmm, never heard that one. The fact that they use the term “aidel maidel” would probably say something about them….
“Yeshivish, but with it” This is what I called myself when I wanted a long term learner. It just means that I know whats going on in the world and my head isnt in the sand.
I think when girls say they have an “out-of-town” personality it means they arent high maintenance, they are easy going and they arent shticky. My mother describes me as such… bless her 🙂
MJ
Mazal Tov!!!
And I agree with you. When you want to craft your home and you need to set up a foundation you want the sturdiest one possible, if you have the conviction (which I feel I do) its easy to get rid of the “cheap” material and only use the best and right hashkafos.
Helpful
If you dont bring it in, you dont bring it in. Perdiod. Simple.
Rocker
I agree.
Furthermore, I have found that when I have taken leaps too big at a time it has only backfired.
SJS
Thank you for the kind words.
I do. And plan to.
BPT
I just found this, sorry.
First of all I’ll take the post-chasunah brocha, but I highly doubt I’ll be living in Israel anytime soon… Not a dream of mine.
I think my tag is Modern Yeshivish.
Yoish
“Ok fine. Thats impressive, but they still shouldnt have had it to begin with. It has no place in a Torah home.”
Are you saying that you dont believe in growth? Can someone not decided to to chenge their life around?
If thats the brand of Yiddishkeit you subcribe to, I want no part in it.
“the only way to do that is for you to be excited to be a Yid and anybody hooked up to secular culture”
First of all, I am ecstatic to be a Yid!
Number 2, I think I can now be certified as a broken record.
“You can preach Yiddishkiet to your kids, but if your actions in any way are not in accordance with what you preach they will see you as a liar, a hypocrite, and they will lose respect for you and the message.”
You yourself quoted that I do not want TV/Movies in my home. Did you happen to miss that sentance? What i do now doesnt reflect what I want in my future home!
Brisker
Let me break it down for you.
I watch movies now. I do not necessarily want a husband who does. Is that hypocritical? Maybe. So I want a husband who is Frummer than I. Shoot me. Again, I DO NOT PLAN ON HAVING MOVIES/TV IN MY HOME (apparently I cant say this enough)
Me not being Yeshivish just means that I dont subscribe to the title. I have found in order to gain the Title, it is so much more about shtick and chitzonius than the actual person, I find that to be hypocritical and if thats the case I want no part.
Brisker
If the learning thing doesnt work out for you I know a couple of CDAs that would be happy to have your word twisting skill on their team.
BPT
It can be seen from all over the City Hall area.
How about Kendall for a girl?
<
would marry a BT!BPT
Somehow my “Frum” posts get lost in my “Heretical” ones. 😉
I said so many times that I DO NOT want TV/Movis in my house. I also mentioned in a different post (a while back) that I want my children to grow up with every advantage both materialistic AND (more importantly) spiritual, this means alleviating any doubts I may have had from the get go. I want them to grow up in a house where they are ALWAYS sure where they have NO doubts and where they are always excited to be a Yid. I know that may seem ideallistic, but that is my dream.
Dr. P
I know I came in in middle of a conversation somewhere…
That building is the Beekman Tower (now called 8 Spruce Street)
Another masterpiece by the amazing Frank Gehry (whos work I adore)
WIY
Actually, the people I know who got rid of their TVs are only a few years older than I, and did it maybe 2 years ago.
Brisker
Are you so narrow minded that you only see what you want?
I stated on so many occassions that I DO NOT want movies in my house.
Moq
Thank you.
BPT
Thats ok, a lot of people do (I get carded every time I want to buy a lotto… 😉
Truth is I used to be a bigger fan, now I’ve settled down a bit in that regard. Now I just keep up enough in case I happen to date a crazed fan and (mainly) so I can take my younger brother to games and not be bored to tears.
Thanks for the compliment!
real-brisker
When did I ever say I wanted my husband to watch movies?
WIY
I think your wrong. I know so many people who threw out their TVs after they were married, whether they didnt want their kids to be influenced or because they realized it wasnt the type of atmosphere they wanted in their house.
Also, I have thought about that but I choose not to. If you think of all the reasons why you may be single and what you have to do in order to get married Bellevue will have a shortage of beds.
Tomim
They didnt know what hit them 🙂
Moq
Thank you for the translation.
Dr. Pepper
Are you talking about the wavy building that is under construction near City Hall?
LOL. I will divulge my age *drum roll* ….. I am 23.
Funny that you say I should go into Chinuch, a lot of my family is in Chinuch actually. I prefer not to corrupt the youth 😉
Moq
English is greatly appreciated.
WIY
“A home surrounded with Torah has no Tv, movies, non Jewish music and other secular stuff in it.”
Clearly you missed my comment in the Giloy Arayos thread where I mentioned that I didnt want those things in my future home.
“It has NOTHING to do with yeshivish. Nothing! It has to do with being machshiv Torah and living your life according to the Torah.”
I’m going to disagree. There are levels. Would R’ Chaim Kanievsky watch a movie? C”V! But there are Rabbonim in America (who write in the Yated no less) who have TVs in their home. How do I know? I dated his son. My point is I dont think its so black and white. If I was going to be R’ Elyashiv’s future Rebbitzin (and maybe I should strive for that) I would be looking at this differently, but all I want is a good ehrilch boy who loves and appreciates Torah and wants to grow together with me. At 23.5 my lifes work isnt over.
Smile
I know what you mean.
In high school we had Rabbi Mechanic come and he gave the whole lecture, and I asked a question (because he said you can ask any question on religion) and he didnt have the answer. It’s not like I had questions about Yiddishkeit, but sometimes I call myself an “emtional Jew”. I’ll see the men dancing on Simchas Toeah and I’ll well up and I;ll know this is the Truth, or my father will make Kiddush @ the Seder and I’ll realize this is the Truth. But its always nice to have the logical backup. After you listen to Rabbi Mizrachi’s lecture there is no wiggle room, its like a light bulb goes off, abesolutely brilliant!
Isnt the point of mussar to break you down?
WIY
(I’m going to apologize in advance for being harsh)
Because someone watches a movie or listens to English music they cant want a husband who is a Talmid Chacham, and wants a home surrounded with Torah?! No offence, that could be the most narrow minded thing I’ve read from you. Yes, I watch movies and yes I listen to English music (p.s. I havent for close to a week now) but what does that have to do with the warmth of Torah and a love and passion for Yiddishkeit?
The problem is that you equate Torah to Yeshivish. Yes, I am not Yeshivish! I’ll scream it from the hill tops. I dont need to label myself and fit myself into a mold in order to be called a “true eved Hash-m”. Thats the issue. Movies arent in the syllabus of Yeshivish so I must not want to have anything to do with Torah. Oh well, we just lost another one.
Ok, my rant is over.
BPT
That was out of left field 😉
WIY
Yea, I knew that.
I was wondering how that last sentance and the previouse one juxtapose with eachother.
PY
I think you cleared it up. Thanks!
Chrain is the worst, on sleeves!
I dont get that part.
minyan
Yes. I downloaded it from torahanytime.com, I think. WIY, is that the site?
Gavra
Your adorable, but that isnt the point of the lecture. When you disprove everything else, you are left with no questions. Also, he touches on a lot of other hashkafic points.
listen to Rabbi Yossi Mizrachi’s lecture contrasting Judaism and the other major religions. You wont have anymore questions!
…and thank WellInformedYid after you listen to it.
Maybe we are cousins 😉
My cousin’s name is Peretz.
We learned that who you marry is bashert but its not necissarily your Bashert.
Personally, I dont think about these things< I think it would just drive me crazy.
I agree with you. I wont date an FFB who went off and then came back on (I apologize if that offends anyone) or a BT who came on and then went off and then came back on, for that matter. That to me demonstrates instability.
By noy getting the answers to your questions you are doing a disservice to 1 person…. your self.
Yiddishkeit is a beautiful thinkg and you only appreciate it more when you understand what it is you are doing and Who it is you are doing it for.
Ask questions and GET answers. Being Frum and Jewish is ABOUT questioning, and questioning until you are satisfied with the answer. There is an answer to every question, you just have to be open to listening to the answer.
Good Luck!
Love orange soda…
pascha
I have gone out with some of those as well, frum out situations. More modern backgrounds and they became frummer then their families the examples that I gave where “real” BTs, altho the latters family did become shomer shabbos/tahara hamishpacha/kashrus due to his becoming frum.
BTW, check your email the Mods sent you my email address. I had though of a potential shidduch for you (if your interested)
mdd
I think many BTs would be offended by that statement. People, especially ones that have “kedusha tendencies” usually arent the ones that are partaking in the extra curricular activities, shall we say.
Poster
I wouldnt call that Settling or as you say “thinking out of the box” that is simply marrying someone other than you thought was what you wanted. It doesnt mean you are settling.
For example, I am a very decisive person, always have been. I know exactly what I want and I dont waste my time hemming and hawing over decisions. Should I happen to go out with someone, and really like them, but they arent the exact picture of what I wanted, I wont think I am settling because I will think they are just as good just not what I had had originally in mind.
myfriend
What do you think?
Isn’t that what life is all about, growth?
First of all you should never feel like you are settling, at any age!
Number 2, and this is something only you can answer, Are you indicisive in other areas as well? because then being indicisive in shidduchim is just a by-product of a much bigger “problem”
Phrum
I treat each person/date as a completely different experience and go in with a clear mind and dont compare them to any other BT.
Every journey and person is so different so I find that when people make blanket statements about Bts its mainly out of ignorance.
I dated one guy who was from an extremely “frum” Reform family who came to the realization at 13 that Reform is completely hypocritical. He also felt that Aish and Ohr Samayach where brain washing programs and he was completely against the concept of the kiruv movement. He was extremely into learning but wasnt “Yeshivish” at all.
I also dated a guy who first came into contact with real frum jews through SEED, and that was the catalyst to his becoming Frum. He is extremely Yeshivish.
Those two examples I think were the most contrasting.
The “problem” I’ve encountered is that in the end I find that BTs usually are most comfortable with others with the same background as them. Fantastically, I think BTs want to marry FFBs but when push comes to shove they are usually most comfortable with people who went through the same experiences as themselves.
I’m not saying it cant be done, I would be more than happy to marry a BT, I feel that they are more sincere about their Yiddishkeit and they are more multi-faceted than the typical Yeshiva guy (thats just me) but more often than not if a BT is honest with themselves, they will realize that its easier and more comfortable to stick with like minded like experience people, instead of dating for x amount of years before coming to that conclusion.
myfriend
Unfortunately, R’ Shmuel wouldn’t approve of a lot of things that I do.
I am not a boy or the mother of a boy.
I am a girl in shidduchim, just like you.
I date Baalei Teshuva and some times my friends think I am crazy, they ask me if I’m not worried about their past and their previous relationships.
If this is my friend’s mindset, I would guess it would hold true for FFB boys and their mothers.
WIY
I dont sound like the type of girl that appreciates a husband who loves Torah and wants their home to built and filled with Torah, and will spend all his free time learning?
Man, I’ve been mis-representing myself!
I think its so much easier to condemn someone than to try and help them.
Why arent Reform and Conservative on the same level as Unaffiliated, because they have some messed up sense of Religion?
Coke
I undersatnd only because I have food ADD, and cant stand to eat the same thing twice in one week, so I can only imagine how it is for you… *shudders*
Food & Wine put out an amazing Chicken Cookbook/Magazine in 2009, I dont know if you can still get it but maybe their recipes are available online if not, I can mail you my copy.
epicurious.com usually has all the recipes compiled from Food & Wine, Bon Appetite, Saveur, etc… so that would be a good place to start.
Chicken Souvlaki
1 1/4 tsp. Salt
1 clove Garlic minced
Black Pepper – to taste
2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
1 1/2 tsp. Lemon Juice
1 Tbsp. dried Oregano
1 1/3 lbs chicken breast (about 4)) cubed.
Put all the marinade ingredients into a large bowl. Mix. Toss the cubed chicken in the marinade until well coated. String the chicken onto skewers and grill on a grill pan until done.
(serve with pita bread and hummus, and a large salad)
There is always next year…
Squeak
Your right.
If I marry someone who had a seder w R’ Shmuel Berenbaum ztz”l as a bachur, I’ll consider myself very lucky 😉
“Maybe someone can clarify something? Does the torah forbid mishkav zachor for goyim?”
Does this mean we have to be the world police, while we are graciously being hosted in their Countries?
Keeping a low profile has always been better for us.