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popa
I do prefer no TV, but if a guy wants it,we ARE (hopefully) mature adults and can discuss it (parameters, cable, children…)
And yes, there have definitely been instances where guys have said no because I have told them I prefer no TV and that is not good enough. But that is why you date.
I’m going to agree w the boys, sometimes dating can be a little bit of a big deal (we take MUCH longer to get ready!)
But imagine the flip side, the hurt of those girls sitting home month after month without a date! They would love to slave over their hair, makeup, outfit choice!
And for what, because you didnt like a picture?
(BPT, for all the I dont know, MILLIONS of times I’ve been asked for a picture, I have never gotten one in return, ’tis life)
popa
It was my understanding that WIY is already working…
Either way, speaking for myself, I have no hard or fast rule with a lot of things TV/no TV learning for a few years/not learning for a few years etc etc which results in me dating across the spectrum. I know WHAT I want, I feel that when I see it I’ll know. I am extremely decisive and I (like to) believe a good judge of character.
At this point I just know (personality wise) what works for me and what doesnt.
WIY
No. I was just answering Ken Zayn. I mean come on WIY. Thats a pretty pathetic excuse, him being tired. Even I, who rarely go to Shul can basically layn the first 3 Perakim of Megillas Esther by heart. I mean isnt that the mitzvah? You have to hear every word?!
I really dont think this is holier than thou but, you tell me since you are the king 😉
“THIS is what secular Jews see of us frum jews and the goyim too”
Um, so?
Actually, I think non-Jews think of Jews as swindlers and cheaters, and thats on a good day.
Ken Zayn
And all those factors mean what?
That for his entire life, lets say 25 years, he hasnt been paying attention to Megillah when it was being read.
frumladygit
I’d imagine IMHO that they didnt post it due to the insensitive nature of that post after a horrific accident.
popa
Seems as if I missed the boat on that one…
myfriend
Its called reality, it may be too strong for you.
myfriend
I’d love a hit of what ever it is youre smoking.
popa
I dont really have a problem in that area, I tend to date a lot of lawyers, ironically…
I think Singles (younger & older) should be able to pick who they want to marry! I mean you are old enought to GET married, why not be able to pick that person?
I’m not sure why we throw ourselves at the mercy of Shadchanim, who gave these people Ruach Hakodesh? Does it say anywhere that you have to go through a certain amount of boosha by begging and pleading before you can get a date kal vachomer married?
Maybe this system worked in Europe where people where told at 13 who they were going to marry at 16. Now that we have options, opinions, veto power (not to mention the shrinking world) this system simply cant and doesnt work!
BPT
You are right. I should clarify
“there arent Yeshivish and Modern Yeshivish people in that pool”
In my age bracket, I know 😉
Helpful
I can think of a lot of ways. Bottom line, those who want to get in trouble will, it doesnt have anything to do w a Kosher Singles Party.
BPT
Oh, believe me I have been unconventional almost for as long as I’ve been conventional, and @ 23, dating for 5 years well, you do the math… I simply dont have patience for things to “fall into place”.
I think another major problem when dating “unconventionally” is that there arent Yeshivish and Modern Yeshivish people in that pool. It is usually more of the Modern Orthodox (across the spectrum) that find their dates on their own. I think the Yeshiva World has to come up with a Kosher way of having boys and girls meet.
Maybe when their daughter asks who she is named after they should say Avigail as in one of the 7 Nevios, so she doesnt find out her father is well… a dope.
dunno
“I am a girl but still beleive a boy is allowed to ask for a picture and evenm make a decision from it” – not I
IDK, sounds to me like it wouldnt bother her to be judged solely on the pic…
BPT
I am so happy we are on the same page about this!
The only problem I have is that, why are we as a community at large continuing to use a system that is obviously broken? Why do you have to wait to become an “older single” to do things that are “less conventional”? If a system is broke, you fix it!
Raising the awareness is all very nice, but if you drop the ball after that, what have you accomplished?
not I
I guess you believe all you have to offer can be summed up on a 3×5 photo. Sad.
Listen, it is what it is.
I always attach a photo because that is what is expected. I have been told by countless Shadchanim (and dates) that I look much better than my photo, but what can you do? You do what you gotta do, and leave the rest up to Hash-m.
(And pray that boys dont decide whether or not to go out w you based on a 4×6 image… which they do)
“But in general, the smartest girls will get married off faster than their less intellectually gifted peers”
This has absolutely no basis in fact.
lkwdfellow
Is that the $120 bottle? I’m still looking for the $60 bottle of Pappys…
Just wondering, do I have to pay for these consultations 😉
Bechira from today to tomorrow, some people still dont get married. Your comment is asinine at best.
mdd
“BTW, there comes a point, when one just has to drop many of the demands and just get married”
We are going with the belief here that Hash-m DOESN’T run the world, correct?
Brooklyn Yenta
“MANY divorcees consider themselves above halacha and do, in fact, lose their yiras shamayim”
Besides for the Motzei Shem Ra and Loshon Hara (oh rite, that little mitzvah can be ignored) this is, in fact, a gross over-exaggeration.
“the ones that don’t are the ones that have given up”
I dont think that is true.
Everyone is human and this is a HUGE nisayon.
lkwdfellow
Fa Sho.
You got married already, its your daughters turn.
If she is old enough to get married she is old enough to choose a husband, and she did.
I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but its really not about you.
lkwdfellow
Thanks! I always see it @ the story and never bought it, was wondering if it was any good.
apy
“Poor phone etiquette simply mirrors the middos one displays off the phone as well.”
I’m not sure thats always true…
But sometimes, yes, it does seem the case.
lkwdfellow
Did you ever try Four Roses, is it any good?
eclipse
I cant STOP laughing!
apy
Since you missed the words after the period, allow me.
“Yes, it may be a reflection on the person, but lets keep to the topic at hand.”
“Sacrilige (sic) is such an eidel maidel!”
You have no idea 😉
Mod
It was a benign comment. And before I pressed “Send” I was thinking are they going to post it or are they going to read to much into it?
Then I figured na…
So, thanks BPT! 🙂
TheGoq
Ouch. My bad.
BPT
Look what you did!
Homeowner
THAT happens a lot! I think thats where they are just trying to prove how “chashuv” they are.
popa
I know some heavy drinkers… they all prefer Bourbon.
Scotch is a status symbol.
I won the genetic lottery… 😉
“I guess I’m not a real man. I don’t drink either”
You’re an Angel 😉
Woodford is a good choice because its non-threatening. Its recognizable to those who arent connoisseurs, it isnt complex, it doesnt feel like you are swallowing acid, and of course, the price is right.
Probably few 😉
Seriously tho, it depends. If you go to a kiddush there are always more Scotches than Bourbons but the few bottles of Bourbon are always polished off.
So good to know there are a few good men out there…
Real men drink Bourbon.
deiyezooger
When I made my comment I didnt say anything about Chassidim not having good middos. The OPs description sounded exactly like my Chasidish clients, what do you want me to say? I can pretend that my clients of Italian heritage talk like that when talking to me…. but, they dont.
As a side point, the OP didnt say anything about Middos, she mentioned phone etiquette. Yes, it may be a reflection on the person, but lets keep to the topic at hand.
1 medium onion, peeled
4 large russet or Idaho potatoes (about 3 1/2 pounds), peeled
2 large eggs
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
6 tablespoons vegetable oil
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
Applesauce and/or sour cream, for serving
Using box grater or food processor fitted with grating disc, coarsely grate onion and place in colander set in sink. Coarsely grate potatoes, add to colander, and set aside to drain.
In large mixing bowl, lightly beat eggs, then whisk in flour.
Press potatoes and onion to extract as much liquid as possible, then add to egg/flour mixture. Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Using wooden spoon or hands, mix well, but do not overwork.
In heavy-bottomed, 12-inch skillet over moderately high heat, heat 1 tablespoon oil and 1 tablespoon butter until hot but not smoking. Drop 4 scant 1/4-cup portions of potato mixture into pan and flatten with spatula to form four 3-inch pancakes.
Fry until bottoms are golden-brown, 4 to 5 minutes, then turn over and fry until golden-brown and crisp, an additional 4 to 5 minutes. Transfer to paper towels to drain; season immediately with salt and pepper. Keep warm on baking sheets in oven while making remaining pancakes.
Using paper towels, carefully wipe out pan. Add 1 tablespoon oil and 1 tablespoon butter and fry 4 more pancakes. Repeat with remaining batter, wiping out pan and adding 1 tablespoon oil and 1 tablespoon butter before each batch.
Serve pancakes hot with applesauce and/or sour cream
“some people get very upset if they are not immediatly gratified”
I’m not sure thats the best way to phrase what youre trying to say…
Sounds like my chassidishe clients, go to your school 🙂
I find it interesting that the “asker” is actually asking the question!
You see a person in need YOU HELP THEM!!
Who cares about their race, religion, sexuality, creed…. ?
WIY
Calm down, she didnt say anything against you specifically, dont take it so personally. Geez…
Being that I have no interest in being a speaker, I am not familiar with what Haifagirl is referring to. Like Kapusta pointed out there are some very inspirational female single speakers, who do a lot for the community.
In my own personal experience with being single (in the Frum community) its not so much that you dont count but your opinions are discredited, like somehow because you are single your IQ must have fallen 50 points. The little smirks and the half wave, “uch na, wait till your married…”
BPT
Sforim Shrank?
*innocently adding to the list*
WAY too intense…