it’s a simple question of business model.

In the current model, the shadchan takes all the risk: the shadchan either gets the entire shadchanut, or nothing.

If you want the service provider to take all the risk, you invariably have to pay them more for taking the risk.

This is a popular business model used by many real estate agents, lawyers (who take contingency cases), farmers (who take the entire risk of crop failure), etc.

Many people in those businesses have adopted different models – fee for service OR risk-sharing. There are many real estate agents who work on a fee-for-service or hourly basis. There are farmers who will sell you a share of their crops (before the season begins).

For the most part the consumers cost for those services is lower with the second model, yet people are mostly unwilling to use that model. Here, we have a perfect case of that.

If shadchans were paid fee-for-services, you would probably pay them less. You could pay a subscription fee, then a certain amount for each service (date) they provide. If you don’t like the quality of their services take your business elsewhere.

Change is hard, but it’s not unreasonable to compensate someone for work done. you do that with your physician, right? The doctor gets paid whether or not the operation is a success.

there are some anthropologists who believe that without the domestication and partnership of the dog, agriculture would not have been possible. Sheep & goat herding would not have been possible. Cities and civilization would not have evolved differently or not at all.

In addition to being man’s best friend, the dog may be man’s greatest civilizing influence.

dear Not1, you can get a dog at the pound for under $100 with all the shots and medical necessities already done.

if you want a fancy purebred dog, you can spend many thousands, but I think that is not necessary.

Prevention, according to the Environmental Protection Agency:

DO have your fuel-burning appliances — including oil and gas furnaces, gas water heaters, gas ranges and ovens, gas dryers, gas or kerosene space heaters, fireplaces, and wood stoves — inspected by a trained professional at the beginning of every heating season. Make certain that the flues and chimneys are connected, in good condition, and not blocked.

DO read and follow all of the instructions that accompany any fuel-burning device. If you cannot avoid using an unvented gas or kerosene space heater, carefully follow the cautions that come with the device. Use the proper fuel and keep doors to the rest of the house open. Crack a window to ensure enough air for ventilation and proper fuel-burning.

DO call the Consumer Product Safety Commission (1-800-638-2772) at http://www.cpsc.gov for more information on how to reduce your risks from CO and other combustion gases and particles.

DON’T sleep in any room with an unvented gas or kerosene space heater.

CO detectors vary a lot. Some are pretty good, but not 100% reliable, others aren’t. They are not a substitute for the proper use and maintenance of your fuel-burning appliances.

Don’t let a CO detector lull you into a false sense of safety.

Go to “The Girls” on Military Trail in Delray Beach. It’s an urban farm where there used to be a parking lot. They grow strawberries hydroponically, which they can pick and eat, and grow a variety of other vegetables and have farm animals, etc.

No admission charge, but you pay to pick strawberries, by the pound. They’re good!

There’s a nice commercial farmers’ market, The Boys, a few doors further up Military Trail. They have excellent fruit and veggies.

>>>oh please, who let the 10-year old boys into the Coffee Room?<<<

I was referring to the tone of the jokes by mikehall and AOM. Definitely Heder Boy quality jokes.

there are certain psychiatric syndromes that can account for that, Mr. 80, or may I call you 80?

Paul Newman

>>> And this spying has never been matched by anyone, ever. And there is a difference of an enemy spying against an enemy (it’s expected) and a “friend” spying, which is much worse.<<<

Pollard did not know for sure he was spying for the Israelis. His handlers said they were Israeli, but they could have been, say, Russians pretending to be Israelis.

This is the problem with “friendly nation” spying. It can be, and frequently is, used by hostile nations to dupe unwitting spies.

Be yourself! who is better qualified?

and my wife is not the only problem. This week I will visit my mother in Florida, who is also a terrific cook. How much can one man be expected to eat?

>>>ronsr – whatever pollard did or didn’t do, he has either way more than paid his pittance and then some<<<<

dear klach – espionage is a very serious crime, which can do very wide-ranging harm to a nation’s security. In times of war, it is punishable by the death penalty. It is a necessity that a country punish and discourage this behavior.

The crime he did was not a pittance; his punishment shouldn’t be a pittance, either.

What next? Shall we redeem Bernie Madoff? He’s sentenced to 150 years!

When I was young, in the 60’s, we called all unrelated adults Miss, Mr., Mrs. with two exceptions: my mother’s two closest friends and their husbands, who were known by their first names. This was familiar but not disrespectful. We had other ways of showing our respect.

My father died when I was young, and my brother had a Big Brother who regularly took him places and talked with him. This man started out as Mr. T, but eventually became Uncle Harold. Uncle and Auntie are nice forms of address that convey respect AND affection, and need not be reserved for only actual uncles and aunts.

When I was in 10th grade, one really hip teacher said, “you can call me John, if you want.” We each tried it approximately once, since it seemed almost an allowable sin, but it just didn’t work for anyone, and we went back to “Mr. V.”

because Pollard is a criminal, and has hurt the cause of American Jewry. He is not a hero as portrayed in the Israeli press. He committed a horrible crime, he had a fair trial and now he is serving a just sentence.

I taught the boys to address strangers as Mr. & Mrs., unless that person gave them permission to do otherwise.

If anyone calls me Mr. R, I reflexively say, “please call me Ron.”

Even my 86 year old mother tells young people to call her by her first name. Fortunately for me, she still allows me to call her “Mom,” a name that conveys both affection and respect.

There are many ways to show respect besides using a respectful title.

quicksand is as deep as it is. quicksand goes down to the bottom of the quicksand pit, no deeper, and never goes higher than the top of the pit.

every string reaches from its beginning to its end, and vice versa.

How long do you cook a chicken? Until it’s done.

As Wolfishmusings pointed out in another thread, all these questions can be simply answered thus: 42

also, I’m a bad person to ask about this. I believe that we are all individuals with individual traits. Many people (not enough) are able to learn from their failings and many more are able to learn from their parents failings.

Do children of alcoholics all become alcoholics? Some do, but many avoid it because they watched what happened to their parents.

Every person needs to be given the opportunity to change and learn.

Also, I’m a bad person to ask about this. My wife is twice-divorced and her parents were divorced. High risk, eh? But I was convinced that she had changed the behaviors that contributed to her divorces and she would not do those same things with me. I considered her character and her ability to change her behaviors. I would only marry her if I was sure that I could be her last husband.

For the most part, I was right. Occasionally those behaviors creep into our relationship and I point them out, and she endeavors to correct them quickly. She recognizes them right away and changes them.

I wanted to marry this woman, she was extremely special. She completed me. She was better for me then any of the undivorced women I had met. It took some convincing by her and by me that things would be different this time and they are.

We all contribute to our own lives by the choices we make. Thank heavens we are able to control many of those choices.

Would I consider entering into a shidduch with someone from a divorced home? It depends so much on the person. There are no guarantees in the marriage game. Look carefully not only at his family situation but at the boy’s character and his ability to effectively change behaviors he wishes to change.

There are a variety of answers to:

How many homophones does it take to change a light bulb?

the answer could be “won ore too.” or maybe “for” or could be “ate” or possibly “nun.”

oh please, who let the 10-year old boys into the Coffee Room?

have you heard the one about the man who bequeathed his offspring a cattle ranch and named it Focus?– because it’s the place where the sons raise meat.

to improve their shidduchim resumes. You never know what parents will be investigating in 15 years.

colored shirts? blue jeans?

Sad person: Yes. Clinically depressed person: Never. Sad people can be cheered by your verbal reaching out to them. We are social animals, and love interaction and connection with others of our species.

Anxious people do respond to people who connect with them verbally.

dear Health: there is broadcast TV these days, we have it. Last year everyone with an analogue TV set had to buy a digital TV converter so they could receive digital signals. They did stop broadcasting analogue TV last year and now use that portion of the spectrum for other communications.

loving your wife is one of the best things you can do for your children.