Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
What about the girls who won’t go off because they won’t go on facebook bceuse of this policy?
Yoreh Deah people in the coffee room are not the best way to get answers to halchic questions. Real Talmidei Chachomim usually don’t spend their time in a coffee room. Ask your rabbi.
If you check off on your license that you are willing to be an organ donor, then the doctor who is harvesting your organs does not need to wait until you’re halachically dead in order to remove them.
In such a case according to halacha the good doctor is committing murder. By allowing the doctor to harvest your organs while you are still alive, you are an accomplice to murder.
Hence commiting to donate your organs is being an accomplice to your own murder. No feel good ethical rationale can justify this.
zehavasdad you say”There are plenty of poseks who hold the internet is traif”
Realiy check: yes, unfiltered internet users can and unfortunately often do accesss pictures and articles that one is not allowed to view. Do you deny this? Are you saying these things are kosher?
Are you orthodox? Do you have a rabbi? Doesn’t sound like it.
soliek.
Sorry, its actually the modern orthodox who show a blind eye to sexual realities by ignoring what really happens when you allow boys and girls to mix and give them unfiltered access to the internet.
Underexposure by the more frum is not a denial of reality but an understanding that privately done aveiros when they become public create a huge chillul hashem and make people more likely to do aveiros if they think they are not the only ones.
Almost all of us keep kosher all of the time. But only most of us are dressed tzniusdik all of the time. Even though some of us are careful not to hurt people’s feelings at any time, Unfortunately,few of us avoid lashon hara all of the time.
So comparing Torah 24/7 to tznius 24/7 isn’t the fair.
Especially since there are cases where boys are told by their rabbeim to go to work, but no cases of girls being told by their teachers not to dress tzniusdik.
If you have lived together for years and feel like brother and sister then it is a pure halachic issue. If you were raised in differnt homes and are not used to each other, it would seem appropriate to be tznius in front of him anyway.
There is no shortage of credible ask the rabbi programs on line. The CR is the wrong place for this.
I fully agree that asking shadchanim whether the nasi project is a good idea is the like asking someone if they mind getting an extra several (tens of) thousand(s of) dollars. Clearly these are the wrong people to ask. Even if they oppose it in principle, they would be foolish to publicly say so.
The nasi project changes the playing field and discourages shadchanim from redding girls who aren’t part of this program.
Simple question: Is nasi helping or hurting those who don’t join their program to give outrages deposits (in advance) of money for shadchanus.
Before you hurt anyone atleast give one name of a leading Rav who endorses this program.
Negiyah per se, is not a yehareig v’al yaavor aveirah. GILUY ARAYOS is.
I’m sorry, I’m know your wrong. I know a famous true story where a yichud with his fiancee caused a chosson (who’s a famous rosh yeshiva today) to almost jump off of a train.
Faranak Margolese wrote that one of the the reasons people go off the derech is because they are turned off by people who are closed minded and take extreme positions such as that negia is a terrible aveira. The problem is, apparently according to most opinions negia is yehareg v’al ya’avor. So her book is probably not the answer.
Usually a weak poor or broken home, and/or poor academic or social skills combine with a lack of proper understanding why we believe in judaism to lead a person to give in to their temptations.
Of course for some, a little curiousity can lead them to a yetzer hora that just overwhelms them.
Nothing wrong with trying to look good.
no
Nat. I have no problem with shadchanim getting more money. But in many cases (like a 30 year old marrying someone much older than her) there is no reason why a shadchan would need a major incentive. Your point about the girls ignoring shadcanim’s suggestions may be true in some cases, but most of the time these older girls don’t hear from shadchanim.
apushatayid: This is not just an initiative, it is (as they themselves call it,) a game changer. It puts girls who can’t afford the money at a disadvantage. (Or worse it puts huge pressure on them to pay it to keep the playing field even ith those who can afford it)). Even for those who can afford it, it adds insult to injury that they are paying just to be looked at.
Perhaps asking for volunteers to become shadchanim for those girls who put their names on a list makes more sense.(these people would get paid only if they make a shiduch)
We can create new shadchanim if the current shadchanim find the older shidduch girls too challenging.
(Of course this will inly solve this part of the problem. The shortage of boys needs to be addressed bu bridging the age gap between boys and girls.)
They mean well, but are missing the boat.
Unfortunatly, the problem is not that nobody wants to marry older girls. The problem is the age gap, which creates a shortage of boys. Any 4o year old man would gladly marry a 30 year old girl. Why in the world would the shadchan need $13000 to make such a shidduch.
And what should poor girls do? This project will of course discourage shadchanim from helping them. Why should the redd a 30 year old average girl to a boy, when they could redd one that will earn them $13000?
I’m pretty sure that when people get the hang of this idea, there willl be strong oposition and it will be rescinded.
Does anyone here belong to a church? I thought we’re it aseres yimei tshuva
Egalitarian Minyan; As Bad As Reform?
Is running in front of a car and getting hit as bad as having a heart attack?
Is having a stroke as bad as having cancer?
Is jumping 4 stories as bad as having termonal cancer?
Why is this any different than any other halachic queston? Ask your your rabbi if its ok.
P.S. If he says it is ok, get yourself another rabbi!
They are much worse. Almost nobody frum is going to just become reform, but these people can catch people and eventually (like the early conservatives) they will all go off.
If the first consevatives would have just become christians intead of making believe they are following halacha, many less people would have gone off.
lovinghalacha: If your parents have good judgment, and won’t overreact, (or if they won’t do anything without consulting their Rav,) you should speak to them first.
If you really feel you can’t trust them, then you should speak speak directly to a Rav or Rebbetzin you trust. If you need to, you can press *67 before you dial so they won’t know who you are.
The relative should only be spoken to after that.
Hatzlocha!
Of course she shouldn’t have started one. Her question was what to do now. .
mikehall12382
1. Not all relatives are first cousins.(It may be a cousin once removed or a second cousin)
2. Attraction can vary depending on many factors, not eveyone says yuk about their cousins.
3. The genetic risks of cousins marryng is low, and is further lowered by the many tests done by Dor Yeshorim for compatability.
You sound like you would consider marrying him. Find out how he feels about you. If he’s old enough and interested I wouldn’t discourage a shidduch like that.
If that is not the case then you better stay away before you find yourself in a lot more trouble.
It seems surprizing to me that anyone can accuse this girl of not dressing tzniusdik. It’s very unlikely that someone willing to loose their job for tznius issues would dress to attract attention.
Looks can atract on their own, and everyone knows that.
“Just because one feels himself (or herself) in danger doesn’t necessarily mean that one actually is in danger.”
Right. But unless you know for sure you don’t stick around to find out.
Since the mods would never (and should never) allow the horor stories of what has happened with overly “friendly” men in the workplace, I will just repeat “if what they said made you feel uncomfortable you did the right thing”
Never do something your intuition feels is wrong.
I have nothing against depressed people, but they need to recover from their depression before they date.
Since “Geshmakke Mentch” is just going out with him and not engaged or married to him, it doesn’t make sense for her to wait for him to get himself straightened out.
its a slippery slope. if what they said made you feel uncomfortable you did the right thing.
if you think he’s depressed stay away!
There is nothing in science denying creation. To the contrary, the odds of the universe being here without a creator are ridiculously low.(To the point that one can argue that the stastistisal chances of anything like a world happening on its own is zero)
Everyone knows there are holocaust deniers, but no one would say
“If the holcaust was so ironclad then there wouldnt be holocaust deniers.” And if anybody would say that, then they would in some way be defending it. This is what bombmaniac is doing for aetheism.
Member
bombmaniac
you say.
if religion was so ironclad then there wouldnt be atheists.
religion is difficult because we have a hard time with the existence of something we don’t see.
however when you look at something as simple as a banana or something as basic as the eye, logic tells you thar it couldn’t have been accidental.
Let’s take an example:
2 people who see a cell phone with strange features on it. Both don’t understand why there are certain features on it.One denies that it was manufactured. The other one says “of course it was manufactured, such a sophistacated thing can never come by itself.”
The one who denies that it was manufacured tells the one who says it was “You have questions that you cant answer so you place your faith that it was manufacturer had a reason for making it this way. I have questions I cant answer so I place my faith in science and time that they’ll figure out how it came by itself”
Does that make sense? Neither does your defense of aethiesm!
bombmaniac
you say.
if religion was so ironclad then there wouldnt be atheists.
religion is difficult because we have a hard time with the existence of something we don’t see.
however when you look at something as simple as a banana or something as basic as the eye, logic tells you thar it couldn’t have been accidental.
Let’s take an example:
2 people who a cell phone with strange features on it. Both don’t understand why there are certain features on it.One denies that it was manufactured. The other one says “of course it was manufactured, such a sophistacated thing can never come by itself.”
The one who denies that it was manufacured tells the one who says it was “You have questions that you cant answer so you place your faith that it was manufacturer had a reason for making it this way. I have questions I cant answer so I place my faith in science and time that they’ll figure out how it came by itself”
Does that make sense? Neither does your defense of aethiesm!
“well look at it from an objective standpoint. we have questions that we cant answer so we place our faith in god. they have questions they cant answer so they place their faith in science and time”
i’m sorry. there is a difference between knowing something is true and not being able to answer everything and not being able to begin to make your case.
if you have questions and believe anyway without reason you are a fool not a ma’min”.
We are supposed to believe what we know to be true. Emuna is to trust hashem that he’s doing the best for us.
An aethiest is placing his bet on somthing the odds are so heavily against.
Read Rabbi Leib keleman’s permission to believe.
it would be wonderful in theory not to need a shadchan. however we are not malachim. the rambam says men should stay far away from women.
If every man/boy was able to get to know women/girls on their own many being overly tempted to do all kinds of avaros.
This leaves us little choice but to have a shadchan.
if someone is older and by chance knows someone single it’s no avara to ask them for a date(especially widows and widowers) but in general especially with young boys and girls its a terribly dangerous and naive.
there is a reason why we use a shadchan,and we shouldn’t be poretz gedder.
an agnostic is honest enough to admit he doesn’t know. denying a creater without a plausable explanation for the way the world is is simply fighting hashem!