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In very frum circles not opening a car door is one of the subtly telling things that is used in determining someones hashkofos. If a girl rejects a date because he didn’t open the door for her, the boy will actually be happy he didn’t fall into such a shidduch. Obviously the girl will almost never verbalize that shes rejecting it because the door wasn’t opened for her, as that would come across as being petty. Sometimes she will not even acknowledge to herself that is the reason, but subconsciously not agree to another date for that reason. Either way the boy will be happy that such a shidduch didn’t proceed.
While the term chivalry has a relatively benign dictionary definition, the way it is traditionally practiced in Western Society and culture is at complete odds with how we Jews conduct ourselves.
rabbiofberlin, what do you make of the mixed dancing and shomer negiah issue?
mariner:
You keep repeating the same mantra over and over in the hopes of fulfilling the false prophesy that if you repeat a lie often enough it will become the truth. But we Yidden don’t believe in such nonsense. You can repeat another 5 times, and it will still not be true.
Your history is legend, and your facts are fiction.
mariner, the reason you litvaks feel under siege and on the defensive as unauthentic Yiden is quite simple. The litvak masses abandoned dressing like Yiden. Chasidim still, and always have, dressed like authentic Jews. So when you walk in the street and see a Jew dressed like a Jew (i.e. a chasid) you feel unauthentic. Yes, many of the Litvish Rabbonim dress like Yidden, but the litvish man on the street with his business suit, and perhaps necktie, looks no different than the goyish buisnessman on the street. A Yid is supposed to look like a Yid – not look no different than a pruste goy.
Btw, if your such a kalte litvak how could you have married a chasidishe/heimishe wife!? Something doesn’t smell quite right about you.
cherrybim: PLEASE name me which “poisek” you refer to that holds no jacket is necessary with a talis. If there are several as you say, surely you’ll have no trouble identifying one.
ses: I too would agree that lack of a jacket is a lack of decorum in shul.
cherrybim,
Most poiskim hold that a Ger cannot have yichud with their ex-parent. (In fact I don’t know if ANY hold otherwise.)
As Yidden we are obligated to keep a great distance between ourselves and the goyim. This applies no less to a Ger.
Feif Un: Dressing like a traditional Yid (i.e. Hat, Jacket, etc.) IS BETTER than dressing modern. Sorry to bust your bubble.
pashuteh yid, you might have a skewed view of chareidim based upon your unique or unusual (even if you don’t recognize it as such) circumstances. For you to call the Chareidim a “terrifying and primitive world view” is outrageously offbase.
Sometimes a Rabbi will allow a convert to continue a reduced relationship with his blood family in order to make a kiddush hashem (depending on the circumstances.)
I think the aforementioned posters on this thread are like tinuk shenishba and should be pitied as such and not harshly criticized.
If someone who comes from a background of wearing a jacket and hat does not wear it in shul, he is showing deep disrespect for Hashem. OTOH if someone doesn’t come from such a background, it is fair to assume he is tinuk shenishba in this matter, and we must be him dan lkav zchus.