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Mi sheochal BeShabbos yitroch BeMotzei Shabbos
When someone asked me what the new Schweky album is like,I replied that its like all his others.
Q.Why do we only ask on Yom Kippur Reshus LeHispallel Im Hoavaryonim and not on Rosh Hashono?
A.On Rosh Hashono all the Avaryonim are in Uman!
[Avaryon in Ivrit is a convict]
My mother was a clever woman, she only had 15 kids because she heard that every sixteenth kid born in America is an Indian.[Jackie]
rosesharon
to suggest any kind of mussar sefer we need more details of what interests you.Like what sefer did you just finish?
Do you want more classic or more recent seforim?
where do you want this avoda to take you? to a better understanding of yom kippur or tikun hamidos? heavy or light?
Chabad – Wearing tzitzis straight and unfolded [therefor they dont tuck in their shirts].
Tzanz – The Rebbe throws apples on neilas hachag of Simchas Torah.
Baal Shem and Talmidim – All used to daven Netz until the Bnei Yissochors time.
Belzers – wear long black socks on shabbos [these days during the week aswell.
Universal – eating Patchar and galleretta on shabbos morning.
Universal – to make the egg and onion at the Shabbos table.
Gerrers and most Polish chassidus’s – dont make a fuss out of tu bishvat [there was never any fruit in poland so they dont have the minhag.]
More reasons for eating the fish with hands:
1.Uvechol degei hayom beyedchem nitonu [ possuk in noach].
2. Hand has been in mikvah more times than the fork.
– when youre doing something you believe in for the right reasons these things dont worry you as much.
Well said Toi.
A Rov once told me that girl seeking a kollel shidduch told him that she is willing to be moser nefesh to live a kollel life!
The Rov told her that if is mesirus nefesh for her he’s not sure that she is ready for it.
When I was in yeshiva in Eretz yisroel one very late night[or very early in the morning] my roomates and myself took a phonebook and called the phone numbers of Arab names and asked if john was there-the ones who were not too disorientated to talk were not that pleased.
I heard this shaila a while ago:
[When naming a child R’Chaim Kanievski Shlita does not like using names that are not proper names.There are various minhagim and many are not like R’Chaims shitta. Sephardim use Hodaya, Rachamim. Chassidish minhag is also not like R’Chaims shitta.]
A young man once came to R’Chaim and told him that he would like to name his daughter Shira.R’Chaim didnt like it and asked him why Shira? The young man answered that she was born on Shabbos shira and that he thoght that it would be fitting. R’Chaim asked him had she have born on Shabbos Parshas Poroh would you have named her Poroh Adumoh???
Sheilo Utshuvo – Jews Go Jousting.
It’s from Sefer Mevo Hara’avyah, written in the 12th/13th Century by R’ Eliezer ben Yoel Halevi. It talks about Reuven who borrowed a suit of armour to go jousting and lost it and had to pay it back.
Reuven sued Shimon and claimed: I came to you to borrow your suit of armor (shiryonekha) in order to return it to you after two weeks or to pay you (26) [27] [14] [in exchange] I will pay you the 27 [old] Cologne denarii.
The rest carries on:
Shimon replied: From the time of the exchange more than half a year has passed and you were required to repay the debt to me immediately. But you pushed me off day after day, until I could forebear no longer and I sold 12 new coins for 13 old ones, and everyone in our city knows that this was the exchange rate. But now the old ones have gone down in value and I traded 14 [old ones] for 12 simple new ones. And that is why you come to sue me and besmirch (le-ha`alil) me. Moreover, I told you then explicitly that I did not want to accept them except at an exchange rate of 12 for 13, and you agreed. Also I was responsible for looking after your collateral and preserving your profit if the value increased. But if the value had decreased I would have left it, and not [acted] in this way (?). Reuven said: I deposited them as collateral and you have no right to receive interest from me. Answer: Based on their statements, it seems to me that if [Reuven] deposited collateral that required an appraisal, Shimon should not have sold it, except by order of a court or three others who [would arrange that] an appraisal be performed by experts. And if it increased in value in the hands of the lender or in the hands of the depositor, then so it did and that is his good fortune.
Cool !!!!
Abe Goldberg was 87 years old and a great golf player and indeed wherever he wanted the ball to go it went.
Much to his enjoyment [and to his wifes relief] he spent many hours a day on the golf coarse until one day he came home and told his wife,
“Thats it my golfing days are over!”
“What do you mean?” cried Bessie distraght,
“I just cant do it anymore” he said.
“Cant do it! Your the best golf player wherever you want the ball to go, it goes.”
“I know” he said, “it still does, but thats not it” said Abe.
“Then what?” asked Bessie.
“I cant see where it goes, my eyesight is getting bad and I dont where the ball ends up, so whats the point in playing anymore.”
Bessie thoght for a moment this was serious, she couldn’t have him home complaining all day.
“Ive got it”she said,
“My brother Hymie is 94 but he has 20/20 vision, tomorrow when you go to the coarse take Hymie with. You hit the ball and Hymie will tell you where it goes!”
“Thats an excellent idea bessie I’ll do just that”.
The next day found Abe and Hymie on the golf coarse, Abe stepped up to hit the first ball,”Hymie you ready?”
“You bet’ya Abe.”
“Okay here goes.” Abe swung back and hit the ball,
“Hymie, Hymie where did it go?”
“I dont know abe.”
“what do you mean you dont know didnt you see it?”
“Of coarse I saw I have 20/20 vision”replied Hymie angrily.
“So why dont you know where it went?”asked abe irritated.
“I forgot.”
I think this one is really cute.
A white horse walked into a bar.
Thrilled the bar tender said to him ,
“Hey we have a whiskey called after you!”
“What” said the white horse “Fred”.
The words of the Gemoroh are
‘Kasher zomom velo kasher osso’
once the eidus of the witnesses is carried out,
the din of eidim zomemim doesnt apply any more.