Redleg

You may think you’re not being “picky” but it sure sounds like you are. Look, I find the whole idea of going into shidduchim with a shopping list offensive. My advice is to listen to the shachanim. You may think that you know better but I guarantee that you’re wrong. I have yet to see the day when a nineteen-twenty year-old sprout of a girl knows more than an experienced shadchan.

Moi, I have not seen one anti-religious post on this thread. The question was why are we (Jews) not protesting the NJ law allowing SSM. Many answers were given and opinions expressed. If you find rational discussion upsetting, perhaps you should re-evaluate whether you belong on this blog or not.

Live Right, I care deeply about many people and things. Sean Hannity’s comings and goings aren’t among them.

Charlie, While it is true that no religious test is required for the Presidency or any other national office and that, in theory a Wikken or a Zoroastrian could be President, I don’t see how you apply that to the current Office holder. President Obama claims to be a Christian and a Protestant to boot. He has been accused of being a secret Moslem. I am not aware that either of those two persuasions are polytheistic.

Sturgeon’s Law: “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”

Halevai, achizas einayim is another way of saying “slight of hand” or “misdirection.”. It was assur because the simple folk of the time could be convinced that it was real magic. Some poskim hold that is still assur today even though almost everyone knows it’s a trick.

As was previously mentioned, Orthopraxy isn’t a new phenomenon. No one can tell what’s in a person’s mind and heart. If a fellow is shomer mitzvos, is koveiya itim, is oseik b’tzorchei tzibbur, looks and acts as a Jew, what he believes is nisht dayneh gescheft (to coin a phrase). That’s between him and G-d.

P.S. Read “The Yeshiva” by Chaim Grade about this issue in prewar Lithuania. Original in Yiddish but English translation is available on Amazon.

Well, it would depend on which version of yemos haMoshiach turns out to be the correct one. If the RAMBAM’s version is correct, as I think it is, I guess I would pretty much do what I’m doing now. Making a living, taking care of my family. Of course, I would be contributing to the new Bedek haBayis, maybe buy memorial plaques for my parents, A”H”. I would also have to become familiar with hilchos kadshim and make arrangements to be oleh regel. Don’t think I’d move to E.Y. Home prices will be though the roof. I guess I can be oleh regel from chutz la’aretez just like they used to do in the old days.

The point is, to me, beyas haMoshiach is real. Not a fairy tale. Not “pie in the sky by and by”. Moshiach is a real person and you and I, real people will be there when becomes, b’meheirah beyameinu.

I, too, have a problem with “yenne maachleh”. Hey, cardiovascular disease kills more people than cancer. Why don’t we call it “yenne maachleh”?

Ah, MDD, MDD. What are we going to do with you? It is certainly possible to be mekayim hating resayim and still avoid judging. Let’s see if you can grasp this concept. All of us, me included, hate reshayim conceptually, but to say that particular person is a rasha? that’s pushing it. The idea of a virtually impossible mitzvah is not so strange. We have a mitzvah to deal with a ben sorer u’moreh. The maskana is that there never was one (although there is a das yachid that there was one). We see that that mitzvah is virtually impossible to be mekayaim, the purpose of which is pedagogical, it isn’t a far stretch to say that hating reshayim without judging any particular individual a rashah serve a similar pedagogical function in teach us to hat rishus.

Now, y’all will probably disagree with the above. That’s okay. When you and I appear before the Beis Din shel Ma’alah, as we both certainly will, I guess we’el find out if I’m right.

Why wouldn’t the secularization of Halloween be analogous to passeling an avodas zorah which Gentiles can do? I therefore think that the issue avodas zorah does not apply to the modern observance of Halloween. However, there is still an issue of chukas haGoyim.

Although trick or treating is rare in our communities I think that one should give treats to any kids who do show up mipnei darchei hashalom. It goes, I think, without saying that Jewish children should not participate.

P.S. To all of you want to take me to task for “paskening without a license”, please note the qualifiers, “I think” and “why wouldn’t”.

This issue illustrates the difference between theoretical halacha and real psak and the reason that, in serious issues, one should not rely on looking it up in Mishna Berurah or asking a such shailah to your average Rosh haYeshiva. If you have a serious question that involves life and death (real of figurative) as your Kehilah Rav, someone who deals with real people in the real world.

Based on you narrative, this girl is a constant source of disruption and defiance. Tell me. Is she a new student or has she been in this school since early grades? if she has, has she always been disruptive or is this relatively new behavior? I’m surprised that the school has tolerated her behavior for so long. Would the school suffer loss, either financial or social if this girl were kicked out?

Again, based on you narrative, I don’t think that this girl is acting out because of unanswered hashkafic needs or emotional problems. I still believe that she is behaving so because she can get away with it and has for a while. She is a bully and the more she can make you feel inadequate and “try to reach her”, the more satisfying a victim you become.

For an observant Jew, morality isn’t relative. Right and wrong are what Toras HaShem says is right and wrong. But even though halacha is brought down from Ksav, though Shas, Rishonim, Achronim down to present day, the bottom line is the individual psak for the individual case. Psak is not necessarily black and white as learned it the beis medrash . Competent poskim understand the subtleties of the case, the character and disposition of the principals, and shape the psak of fit. One of the reasons that R’Moshe, ZTKL, held that the Aruch Hashulchan was more authoritative than the Mishna Berurah was that, although the Chafetz Chaim was certainly a tzadik and a baki. he was basically a Rosh HaYeshiva and a mechanich while R’Epstein was a Rav and a Posek who he felt had a better understanding of the application and dynamics of halacha in the every day world.

Short answer to the OP: Yes. Zai nisht frum af yenne’s cheshbon.

ZD, It was my yeshiva experience, admittedly some 50 years ago, that it was actually “the best of the best” who were most likely to go OTD. It’s not so much the kids who can’t keep up, although they are one demographic of kids who drift away, It’s the kids who get bored waiting for the rest of the kids to catch up to them. The vast majority of yeshiva mechanchim are simply not capable of dealing with genuine illuim. They’re the ones who ask the questions that the Rabbeim can’t or won’t answer. Yeshivas, despite their protestations, really only want to deal with nice bachurim of average intelligence (for Ashkenazi Jews). They are not prepared, nor are they willing, to deal with kids who are smarter than they are.

Dr. Singer’s position is that:

1. The Murex Trunculus in no way resembles the desciption of the chilazon as cited in Menachos (P.S. the Radzyner’s cuttlefish certainly comes closer.) and 2. Most compelling is that Murex dye is chemically the same as kla ilon (indigo) and will not pass the practical test described in Menachos loc. cit.

The American porcupine is not and was not found in the Middle East and could not have been known Chazal of the gemorah. The “Bushy Weasel” of Bava Kamma was more likely the common hedgehog which is, indeed, found in their localities.

Have you ever noticed that anyone who says that he or she is a gilgul was always someone important or significant in previous lives? No one was ever Joe Schmo ordinary.

You, know, I wonder how realistic the OP’s issue is. In my case, whatever shalom bayis issues that may have arisen in 45 years of marriage, tznius wasn’t one of them. I mean, an otherwise tznius wife doesn’t wake up one morning and decide that she wants to wear shorts and a halter top. If the issue arises pre-chasunah, no problem. If it arises shortly post chasunah, nu, mekach taos, seeyah! Shalom bayis implies that a bayis has been established. I can only see relatively minor issues arising in an established household, the kind that discussions with one’s local moreh d’asrah should be able to resolve.

For instance, the wife decides that she doesn’t need to wear a shmateh on her head in her own house when no one but her husband is there. There is clearly precedent for that view but it doesn’t happen to be the custom of either family and she’s covered her hair at home up till now. In the unlikely event that that a loving couple can’t straighten the dispute out themselves, a counseling session with the Rav ought to fixit. If not, that couple has bigger problems than hair covering.

In answer to PO’s question, there is no easy way to tell your parents about your current situation but nit is probably better to tell them then to have them find out through other means. Be prepared for a deal of turmoil anguish and recriminations. Make every effort to tell your parents that it’s not their failure, that nothing they did forced you away, that your lifestyle is not a reflection on their parenting, that you love and respect them, etc. but remember that they will be terribly hurt by your revelation. If they may, over time, come to terms with your decision.

While they probably will never accept your lifestyle, they may still maintain a loving relationship with you. However, be prepared for the possibility of that they may totally, or almost totally sever relations with you. You seem like a level-headed, mature young man. Certainly your military service has taught you to prepare for the worst and that “no plan outlives contact with the enemy”, I.E. things are certain to develop differently from what you expect, at least in some respects. I wish you good fortune and hope and pray that you will eventually return to your people and your G-d.

P.S. This fellow is an illustration of a point I have been making for years. OTD and “at risk” are not the same thing. “At risk” implies engaging in self destructive behavior. This guy isn’t a druggie, isn’t “hanging out”, Isn’t a threat to himself or others (yeah, except to his neshama). He seems rational, oisgehalten, put together, etc. The fact is some people simply come to the conclusion that Religion just isn’t for them, no risk involved.

PP.S. MDD, you can be as judgmental as you like. Your judgment and and mine are worth bupkes. The only judgement that counts is that of the Dayan HaEmes.

I once had a conversation with my daughter along these lines. The question was whether Hashem created a tevah that runs the universe or does everything run by hashgacha pratios (hereinafter referred to as “HP”) ? It struck me at the time that if everything was HP, than the study of science is at least as important as the study of kabala. It turns out that HP is not random. It is quantifiable and predictable within both torah and scientific limits. Science is now essentially a window into the “Mind” of HKBH.

Take gravity for instance. If, as a previous poster wrote, there is no law of universal gravitation but the apple falls to the ground because HKBH wills it, it is, then, davar kodesh to note that every apple all over the world falls in exactly the same way at exactly the same acceleration every time. HKBH’s will is so predictable that I can send a rocket to the outer planets by using the gravitational assist from “slingshotting” the rocket around Venus and I can calculate it and do it every time.

So, from a practical standpoint there is no difference between tevah and PH. The scientific method works the same in either case.

TR, see the following

1. Economics is not science

2. No scientist claims that science is infallible. That’s why models are constantly tested.

3. Scientists, being human after all, are just as prone to bad behavior as you or me. I’m reminded of R’ Noach Weinberg ZTL’s famous warning about not judging Judaism by actions of some Jews.

4. Actually, weather prediction is pretty accurate given the enormous number of variables in the model. 3 day forecasts are usually right on the money. Longer range forecasts are much more difficult,

P,S, A general note: When a scientist refers to a “theory”, he (or she) doesn’t mean what you mean when you use the same word. Lay people use the word “theory” to mean sort of a best guess. In science the word for that is “hypothesis”. A scientific “theory” is an explanation of a phenomenon that has passed all tests of it’s validity so far. If it continues to correctly explain and predict the phenomenon for all possible tests, it becomes a “law”.

Ultimate, Perhaps those particular 12 Jews would have not been killed or maybe they would have been killed anyway. Certainly other Jews were killed in continuing Arab attacks and are being killed still today. You seem to be assuming that if Goldstein had not killed 29 Arabs then the Arabs would not have killed any more Jews. That is transparent nonsense. There may yet be peace between Israel and the Palestinian Authority but there will never be peace between the Jews of Israel and the Arab and other Muslim until we kill all of them or they kill all of us or they give up trying or we abandon Israel and our Faith. Make no mistake. Those who attack Jews in Israel don’t simply want to defeat and eliminate Israel, they want to eliminate Jews. I realize that is a hard calculus but sometimes that’s all there is.

Ultimate, your post seems to imply that Goldstein initiated a cycle of violence between Arabs and Jews. I hasten to point out that Goldstein’s actions were, themselves, in retaliation for previous Arab murders of Jews including the Jerusalem bus bombing and other, unanswered outrages. Goldstein was wrong to take matters into his own hands (He should have let the IDF handle things) but I can’t work up much moral outrage at what he did.

I wonder how many of the above posters who are so vehemently on the side of tznius vs sholom bayis are actually married. Just askin’.

Marty G. in answer to your OP, it may be assur for a ben Torah to speak to his cousin, but it’s okay for you.