Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
I saw a lovely hesped posted on the website of Ohr Reuven.
I agree that there is a discrepancy in values. If on Pesach, for instance, you go away to a hotel that costs thousands of dollars, and if there are workers there that are illegal immigrants, or who are getting underpaid and exploited, that is hypocrisy of the worst variety.
“The best shidduchim is made by the person themselves or a family member:)”
I agree in a certain sense. Some people frown on things like JWed and Saw You at Sinai. In such a case, wouldn’t a person be making their own shidduch, since they either replied to someone’s message, or took the initiative to message someone themselves?
He mentions honey beer, IIRC (ShA mentions sheichar shel temarim and sheichar shel dvash, and I’m pretty sure he’s talking about sheichar shel dvash). The Rema mentions this davka, and indicates that it is mutar for Jews to drink this among gentiles. The Mechaber says all kinds of beer are asur to drink with goyim, and the Rema says that people in his country were lenient on drinking alcoholic beevrages of honey and grains. And I did say that going to a coffee house, per this logic, is asur, since that would pose a problem of chatnut, as well. The Rema says explicitly that people would drink sheichar akum shel dvash, and even barley beer, also.
And Rav Schachter actually does forbid hanging out in Starbucks. However, very few people converse in Starbucks. Most are on their phones or on their computers, and in NYC, there’s very little socializing going on.
woman.
Tosafot here, DH V’Tarvehu, say that we never find that sheichar is assur anywhere in the mishna, or in the beraisa, but that this gezeira may have only started in the days of the amoraim.
The gemara says that Rav Papa and Rav Achai would drink beer from a goy on the porch or somewhere away from the goyim. Tosfos says that this issur wouldn’t apply if you rented space from the goyim, since that is them considered the Jew’s home. Thus, Tosafot hold that the problem here is chatnut. If there is no issue of chatnut, you can take a drink in a bar. Likewise, the Rosh, AZ perek beit, siman tet vav, says that taking a drink among goyim in a way that is not be keviut, but in a way that’s k’derech arai, happenstance, is acceptable. The Mechaber writes (YD siman kuf yud daled, seif aleph) that all beer of goyim, whether of dates, or tevua, or honey, etc. is asur mishum chatnut, ve eina assur ela be makom micharoso. But if you bring it back home and drink it there, it’s mutar. He says it’s assur to drink the beer in a place where goyim fraternize. There’s certainly a chashash of chatnut in drinking out in a bar. The ShA says that there can be exceptions to drinking with goyim, such as if the place where you’re drinking isn’t kevua to social drinking, or if it’s done k’derech arai, you avoid problems. But social drinking among goyim is assur mishum chatnut.
Likewise, the Rosh discusses drinking a honey-based beverage made by goyim (non-alcoholic) among goyim, and he says it’s forbidden due to chatnut. Therefore, fraternizing in a coffee house would be problematic, according to this understanding. The gist of this Rosh is that there is a serious chashash for socializing with goyim over drinks, which has an intimacy and certain social element to it. ShA says that this non-alcoholic honey beer is also forbidden, due to chatnut.
However, the Rema says that people in Poland/Ashkenaz were decidedly lenient on this matter. They’d drink non-alcoholic beer among goyim, and if we thus accept the Rema, then social activities involving drinks (such as coffee, etc.) should be ok.
The Yad Ephraim, however, speaks within a more relevant context, I feel. He quotes R’ Yaakov Emden, who forbids Jews from drinking coffee with goyim. Granted, in Europe, especially places like Vienna, the 17th and 18th century was the height of haute coffee house culture. People socialized, read, organized, and did all kinds of things in the coffee houses, which were the center of social life. Drinking coffee k’derech keva, he says is an issue. Pri Megadim holds like the Rema. The Chayei Adam says drinking coffee among goyim is a bad idea, and someone should avoid these situations, and Aruch haShulchan says it’s commendable to avoid social drinking. R’ Herschel Schachter holds le ma’aseh that it’s assur to also socially drink (even coffee) in a place like Starbuck’s, kal ve chomer, a bar.
If one drinks k’derech keva, that seems problematic, but if one grabs a drink on the run, that’s seemingly acceptable. In the case of a person on a shidduch date, or doing business, I don’t see how chatnut would apply, since the person is in a bar not to socialize, but to either date a Jew, or talk business, or to complete an interview. Going to a bar on a Saturday night where there are a bunch of singles and a lot of pritzut is a scene that Jews should avoid, for sure.
Sins for one’s soul get cut off are issurei karet.
Intermarriage, sleeping with a niddah, etc.
And yaffa, my dad intermarried, and his son (me) “converted” (After being reared in the Reform movement) and became Orthodox. HaShem calls to Himself those whom He wishes. I defied Pew Report-style predictable outcomes. Nobody would have ever guessed in a million years that the product of such an intermarriage would become Orthodox (although many don’t consider Modern Orthodoxy or Open Orthodoxy “orthodox” enough, which bears negatively on those making these claims).
If you recall, the Water Cafe, a swanky nonkosher restaurant, was described in the media as a place where lots of frum people went on shidduch dates (they’d get drinks at the bar).
Granted, a bar atmosphere probably isn’t appropriate for a religious person. But, beer, whiskey, vodka, etc. are all kosher.
There are issurei karet; sins for which a person’s soul gets cut off. Are you talking about those?
Shor Yoshuv is a black hat place where ffb and bt alike learn; started by R’ Shlomo Freifeld, in Far Rockaway.
You sound like you basically can use a YU guy who wears a black hat, or perhaps an Ohr Somayach or Shor Yoshuv guy who embodies your hashkafos.
Upon being mekabel torah u’mitzvot, I had the option to choose whether I wanted to follow Ashkenaz or Sephardic practices. In practicality, I follow Sephardic practice, daven Nusach Edot haMizrach b’yechidut, and conduct services in nusach Ashkenaz, since it’s an Ashkenaz place that pays me.
The reality we should be learning is this: continuity and commitment are at their strongest in religious milieus where people are not given the option to exercise bechira so easily.
If a person is not allowed to think for themselves, question things, philosophize, make their own decisions regarding major life choices, denied access to television, internet, books, university education, and if they know that thinking for themselves or deviating from what is expected of them will result in ostracism, they’ll be less likely to leave or drop out.
While Haredi communities thrive due to their having 10-15 kids per family, whether theirs is the type of religion that could work for all people is another matter entirely.
The Rema, IIRC, doesn’t even count string beans among kitniyot. This is the type of mishegoss that explains why I chose to go Sephardic .
I’d say any corrupt politician needs to go (granted, that would eliminate many).
Dov Hikind needs to go (a Kahanist who dresses in blackface and arranges for thousands of dollars to be funneled into his own company needs to go).
Charles Hynes, B”H, is on his way out (he basically sold out the victims of abse to secure communal bloc votes).
Charlie Rangel needs to go.
Michelle Bachmann misused funds to promote her memoirs. She needs to go.
Dennis Johnson, a Republican state legislator from Oklahoma, needs to go, for his use of an anti-semitic slur.
Charles Barron needs to go, for his overt racism and hatred of whites.
Maxine Waters needs to go, for her corruption.
And I’d say any politician identified as corrupt by CREW, the nonpartisan watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, needs to go.
Ironically, after attending public schools my entire life and a private university, the worst experience I ever had was in teaching in a grade school yeshiva; the boys were the worst behaved I ever dealt with or seen in my entire life. I never witnessed anything in public school as bad as what I observed in that yeshiva. And, despite what many frum people think, not all public schools have metal detectors, or drugs, or violence, or worse. I never had encountered any violence in all my years of public school.
The Pew study can also very well treat people who attend Chabad Houses as “Ultra Orthodox,” since Chabad is considered chasidic/ultra-orthodox (in spite of the group’s relative comfort and ease with modernity, the internet, etc.) Many times, you can end up with someone who drives on shabbos (Chabad doesn’t actively discourage people from driving on shabbos, unlike Young Israel) but learns Lessons in Tanya or Sichos in English and considers himself a Chasid of the Rebbe.
Rav Elyashiv (see his haggadah, p. 12) says that if a Sefardi wants to change his minhag to stop eating kitniyos, than he has to be matir neder.
Also, quite a few rishonim refer to refraining from kitniyot as a minhag shtus (Rabbenu Yerucham), a minhag mahmat taut (Rabbenu Shmuel miFalaise), or an unnecessary chumra which need not be followed (Baal haTurim). And the Rambam, Rosh, and Rivash hold that it is permitted (and perhaps even obligatory) to do away with this type of foolish custom.
Rebba Yid,
I’m not saying that these things are mutar. What I am saying is that treatments with no scientific basis are often perceived to be effective on the basis of the placebo effect or wishful thinking.
Sometimes many alternative treatments work solely on the basis of the power of suggestion or the placebo effect.
Twisted,
I have an Ashkenaz friend who does the same as you (i.e./he eats corn on the cob, string beans, and peanuts on Pesach).
If I were Ashkenaz, I’d be matir neder and follow the shita of those who permit eating kitniyot, anyways, at least those foods which shouldn’t technically be considered kitniyot, like corn and peanuts.
I do the same as you, and purchase peanuts raw in the shell (the OU says, btw, that the only problem with peanuts roasted in the shell is that they’re treated with BHA, which is a derivative of kitniyot; R’ Y.E. Spektor writes explicitly that kitniyot derivatives, such as oils and corn syrup, are mutar for Ashkenazim). Homemade peanut butter is a lot cheaper than KFP almond butter or cashew butter, both of which cost $9 a jar, at least.
Be open-minded. A guy doesn’t need to wear a hat to fear and love HaShem.
If you were really yeshivish, you wouldn’t have gone to Columbia. You’re engaging with modernity and making a big concession to modernity by leaving the kollel and getting an education.
In all due respect, in the professional world, a white shirt is still considered the epitome of class and respect. Colored shirts aren’t worn in the elite echelons of Wall Street.
akuperma,
The culture in secular universities is not conducive to Jewish continuity, on the whole.
The “I’m ok, you’re ok,” relativistic, anything goes, truth is whatever you want it to be, do what you want when you want mentality of college campuses is soul-numbing. Drinking, pot smoking, casual sex, and many other aveirot go on their. And our kids, raised with shabbat dinners and kosher kitchens at home, are not immune.
Nisht,
I would have listed Emory, but alas, I don’t know what the nome de plume du jour is.
Try Frumster and Saw You At Sinai.
A person could eat peanuts in the shell (which are raw), no? I wouldn’t think nuts in the shell need hashgacha.
Wilhelm’s, 14 Avenue, near 40 Street
A friend of mine and my personal rav is someone who worked on semicha (with some of the leading geniuses of our generation, I might add) while attending Rutgers Law School, and he says that Rutgers was most responsive to his needs. Rutgers is not a top law school, however. I know that many schools even offer courses in Mishpat Ivri (Adiel Schremer teaches at Harvard; Rabbi Saul Berman, whom I’ve had the pleasure of davening with at Ramath Orah, teaches at Columbia; Rabbi Neil Danzig, at BU; Rabbi Yitzchok Adlerstein at Loyola in LA, etc.)
I’d imagine that top law schools would be most receptive to your needs, as the legal community is obviously going to very sensitive to areas such as equal accomodations, civil rights laws, etc. They certainly know the perils of Title VII lawsuits and whatnot (Title VII offers protections to sabbath observers and whatnot).
Those fruit slices (Rokeach used to make them), the raspberry jelly rings, and Oberlander rainbow cake are things I look forward to each Pesach. Oberlander’s sandwich cookies are also really delicious.
One other thing you may find an oddity: I make pignoli cookies for Passover, using Israeli passover almond paste/marzipan (if I can’t find it, I make my own using homemade almond paste from blanched Klein’s almonds), egg whites, sugar, Passover confectioner’s sugar, and pine nuts. Simple, naturally and inherently good for Pesach, and a taste of Sicily.
In Brooklyn, we have Marshall’s, Century 21, Wilhelm’s, Emporio, and other such stores which cater to frum men (white shirts, black slacks, black suits, overcoats, fedoras). And we do have two TJ Maxx stores, one in Bay Ridge (right by Century 21), the other in Flatbush (off Kings Highway and East 16 Street)
jwed
I don’t think mental illness or drugs are involved here. He seems like a pretty well-adjusted guy, despite his spiritual foibles.
That’s generally considered tacky.
For kids? Not that I know of, except the Telz Alumni yeshiva. Riverdale has yeshivish elements but isn’t really a haredi community.
SAR is one of the best schools around, btw. I would have considered myself very lucky to go there.
Look inside the Chayei Adam. He says how people in his era wanted to ban potatoes as kitniyot. I’m curious as to what Ashkenazim did prior to the introduction of the potato.
Fkelly,
A person who puts music on on shabbos, or who uses any electricity on shabbos, probably can’t be considered a mechallel shabbat, since electricity is not a melacha (neither an av, nor a toldah). The minhag is not to use electricity on shabbos, according to R’ SZ Auerbach. A person who commits an actual violation, such as turning on the flame of his stove, or driving in a car, or carrying, or writing, is outside the pale.
From what has been documented, until about 40 years ago, peanut oil was used on Pesach. I guess this was another chumra that acquired mass appeal in recent years. Being that I’m Sephardi, in any event, these restrictions are inapplicable towards my life and circumstances.
Maybe they follow the shita of a rabbi by the name of Moshe Feinstein that peanuts aren’t kitniyot? (I am Sephardic, by the way, but my understanding of the minhag of kitniyot, as Reb Moshe understands in his teshuva, is that the ban only applies to foods which were around at the time when the minhag began in the 1300s. According to his definition, peanuts shouldn’t be banned for Ashkenazim, nor should corn or potatoes, since despite the fact that people make flour from these foods, they are New World foods that only entered Europe with the Columbian Exchange in the 1500s and onwards, far after the ban on kitniyot took effect for Ashkenazim).
I find that Oberlander desserts are as good as the year-round desserts. I also think that Pesach raspberry jelly rings are as good as the year round ones. I also had these Absolutely gluten free potato starch crackers (OU-P) that were really good this year.
I do think trying to eat natural for Pesach is also a great idea.
I actually did make a sweet potato kugel/pie/breakfast/dessert this year that was so good that I made it 2 shabbatot since (sweet potatoes, maple syrup, a little grated ginger, cinnamon, allspice, raisins, vanilla extract, eggs, toasted pecans, a little brown sugar, and baked. My mother likes marshamallows on top, as this reminds her of Thanksgiving).
On the topic of Israel, I was actually reasonably pleased with the quality of nosh from Israel this Pesach (bamba, bissli, etc.) But natural eating is a good idea for many reasons, not only on Pesach, but all year round, as well.
Ah, ok, kosher ham. Haven’t heard of people having ham radios in years.
You wouldn’t ASK them to desecrate shabbat, obviously, and you wouldn’t feed them treif food, and such a woman’s offspring would be halakhic Jews (Although they wouldn’t be very Jew-ISH), but as far as giving these people any of the zechuyot that come along with being a Jew, they’re not entitled.
Someone like the OP, sadly, should be treated like a goy le kol davar. I wouldn’t allow him to cook my food, or count him towards a minyan, or allow him to touch wine. His case is not that of the child who never had shabbos in his life. A person who casts off the yoke of torah and mitzvot is a very tormented, troubled soul, in my opinion.
As I said before, I put him in the same rank of people as Louis Jacobs, Umberto Cassuto, Isaac SD Sassoon, Mordechai Breuer, and other traditional Jews who meld halakhic living and belief in higher criticism.
Passover cereals made with matzah meal aren’t the worst, to me. I ate Blanchard and Blanchard granola and Savion Crunchy O’s this year, both of which weren’t bad. I actually very much enjoy Oberlander’s passover desserts, especially the rainbow cake, as well as desserts made with almond flour and almond paste. Osem cakes aren’t bad. Some of the pesach foods are good, others terrible.
The non-kitniyot cereals, non-gebrokts cereals probably are made with tapioca starch, since that is acceptable across the board for Pesach.
People I know who were raised frum/Orthodox and stopped keeping shabbos are not to be treated like a tinok shenishba. A tinok shenishba, by definition, is someone who was never raised with shabbos. An OTD person, therefore, who violates shabbos be farhesya (ie/they drive on shabbos, write, go to work, etc.) must be treated like a goy le kol davar. They cannot be counted towards a minyan; the kohanim in their ranks cannot duchan. They cannot be given aliyot le torah. And they cannot be allowed to touch wine that is not mevushal. For all intents and purposes, an OTD person is treated like an aino yehudi.
I’ve had plenty of Jews hurt me, sadly, but the fact that we’re called am kshe oref hu doesn’t change the fact that we still have the most reasonable monotheistic faith. Nobody should judge Judaism based on the Jews, because as we know from the Pew report released today, most Jews in America (At least) are very secular and do terrible things, generally of a perverse and immoral sexual nature. Lots of Orthodox Jews do unethical things, too, sadly.
It’s silly to judge a religion based on the way its adherents behave.
And as far as “choice” goes, God gave us the Torah and mitzvot for rational, protective reasons. We’ve been keeping shabbat for centuries, whereas the progressive movement and the UN just a few decades ago began extolling the virtues and morality of a day off for workers. Non Jews even realize and acknowledge the beauty of Jewish values, such as filial piety/kibud av v’em, the importance of being shomer negiah/encouraging chastity before marriage, restrictions on eating, fasting, prayer, repentance, charity, modesty, etc. It just seems so rational and right to me. I don’t see how others can’t live this way. A good friend of mine recently underwent halakhic conversion and spent yontiff with our community. A congregant asked him, “why did you convert?” and his answer was, “how can you not?”
I also think that the Pew report shows that Orthodoxy is in the best demographic position to advance Jewish life in this country. I think that there should be a halakhic Judaism that allows innovation, but sadly, the Conservative movement dropped the ball, with most of its members not keeping shabbat, kashrut, or taharat hamishpacha, which is a shame. Addressing issues such as electricity on shabbat, a triennial cycle of torah reading (Which was used in Israeli communities well through the 11th century), egalitarianism, etc. from an honest perspective, amid a backdrop of strong committment to the mitzvot, would be a dream to me, but there’s been little effort towards this.
There are possible serious issurei de oraita at play. Your flippant attitude is shameful.
Suicides are considered to be mentally ill, not people who are reshaim. The Hatam Sofer said that we can assume that mental
Based on these opinions, and our contemporary knowledge of mental illness and suicide, I wouldn’t think a suicide is treated like someone worthy of being buried in a “special section.” That section of the cemetery was historically for people with tattoos, people who are mechallelei shabbat, etc.