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January 8, 2012 4:54 am at 4:54 am in reply to: Very disturbing, please only kind people read. #842293rebbetzin hocksteinMember
To always runs: I feel your pain because I have been there, done that. I grew up in an eerily similar siutation. My father was a good person, but he was mentally ill with severe depression and an explosive temper. My mom tried to make it work, but this ultimately did not work to anybody’s benefit. She had her own problems and the situation took a toll on her health/webllbeing as well. This left us kids as virtual orphans with 2 living parents, living in a war zone. Not at all a good situation. The divorce was a relief for all concerned and gave us kids a chance to be healthy and whole, with a better relationship with both parents.
The Rabbonim that my parents asked for guidance/direction were woefully unequipped to deal with the complexities involved in such a situation, impacting on hashkafa, mental health, shalom bayis, financial, chinuch,etc. Lots of layers of issues to be worked through, requires experienced help (though of course Rabbonim should be consulted for specific halachic/hashkafic guidance). Interestingly, my mom reached out for help at one point early on, and was told by a mental health expert on abuse who labeled the behavior and told my mom that the situation was irrevocably broken. She did not feel strong enough to end things and the situation continued for more than 10 years beyond that. Yes, as their child, I wish they had divorced much earlier. It took a lot of therapy as an adult to recover, get perspective on my early years and get the tools necessary to build a healthy marriage and family, learn parenting skills, etc. B”H my siblings and I are all now middle-aged, and have been largely successful in this.
Please, please, please call Shalom Task Force, as they are experts on this type of situation and can guide/direct you to build yourself up and do what is necessary to improve this situation, either together or apart. Trust me, your children will thank you till 120!
rebbetzin hocksteinMemberEmunas Itecha, you wrote: In the end, I didnt get 40 because it was all very last minute, but thank you for the offer.
I usually lurk, lost my log in/password info, so I sent an e-mail to Yeshiva World to pass on to you. My sister and I both took challah as a zechus for a refuah shlaymah for your uncle, Z”L. It is entirely possible that you did in fact have 40 for your group, as there may have been more that baked challah, but were not able to notify you of that fact.
FYI, there are many gemachs and e-mail lists that organize groups of challah bakers on a regular basis. Feel free to email me off list for more info. We should be zoche to hear about simchas, refuos and yeshuos!
rebbetzin hocksteinMemberwhy don’t you contact the copyholder first? Great idea! Why don’t you check with Dr. Stanley Miller, chiropractor, in Monsey. He is the same Stanley Miller of the Stanley Miller band.
rebbetzin hocksteinMemberYes, you may be smiling a lot but wrinkles could also be a sign of dehydration and lack of essential fatty acids. Every (especially young) woman should be taking Vitamin D and B complex, D because we do not get enough sun exposure to make this essential nutrient and B complex to nourish important systems of the body. I would also add DHA/EPA fatty acids, found in fish oil and other similar capsules. Drink water and lots of it, not coffee, tea, cola which are dehydrating. BTW, vaseline is derived from petroleum and is horrible health wise, leaching important nutrients from the skin/system and poisoning the body, CH”V. Better to use a combination of coconut oil and olive oil or almond oil, with a few drops of therapeutic essential oils (lavender and chamomile are nourishing for skin). This keeps in a clean jar in the fridge for a long time and is not expensive, with all kinds of other junk in it that can irritate the skin.
May Hashem continue to give you many reasons to smile till 120!
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