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Two simple suggestion that I have seen implemented in some shuls . One is to have seats that are available to guests with some sort of indication that they are available (no name plates on the seats or a seating chart hung somewhere) the second idea I have seen is where a gabai or one of the more outgoing and friendlier members will go out of their way to greet someone who seems to be looking for a place to sit (especially an unfamiliar face). Personally as a guest in a shul I always ask someone where it would be okay for me to sit. This avoids an future discomfort at being asked to move.
JJ2020 – “Realitycheck- I’m hearing that being to overly machmir about tznius leads to people not even keeping more meikel opinions. Does this only apply to tznius? Or also Shabbos, kashrus and any other area? Or is there something specific about tznius?”/ It could be this would be true about Shabbos , kashrus and other areas. However in those areas we don’t have this oppressive, aggressive overly exaggerated approach. I heard a Rav once complaining as to how there could exist a dichotomy where the husband looks like this wonderful frum yeshivash “avreich” and the wife is dressed inappropriately.
“Could you elaborate on the extreme oppressive badgering? For example if girls wear skirts above the knee should this be let pass? Should the schools find new rabbinical boards to make less strict rules?” I don’t think it’s that the rules need to change (though if a school has a rule that the skirt must be 15 cm lower than the knee, and they are measuring it with a ruler they might want to change that rule) as much as attitudes toward tznius education needs to change. Educating about tznius should be done with more tznius! If there is a serious issue with the way a particular girl is dressing it certainly should be addressed, but there is no need to make it seem like external tznius (and chumras at that) is the only yardstick with which to measure if a girl (starting at 3 years old in some schools) is a good Jew. Many schools hold to a high standard of Kashrus but you don’t hear them singling out kashrus and railing about it at every opportunity. Ditto with every other aspect of Judaism.
Tznius starts at a young age when the child is not yet old enough to appreciate the underlying importance and significance of the matter. When at that young tender age the child is educated with an extreme and oppressive approach (constantly badgering very young children with minutia – length of skirt/hair/accessories etc..) it builds up a negative attitude toward modesty and the child grows up with a bad taste toward tznius so much so that girls from age 7 or 8 will already start rolling up their skirts as soon as they are in the street. By the time they grow up they simply don’tw ant to hear anymore about tznius! It would go along way if the tznius education in the more “right” schools would be more toned down and subtle. This would result in more adult woman embracing tznius. (I realise my approach is only relevant to the “frum” segment of society)