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REALISTMember
ATTENTION LADIES:
IF A MAN SAYS HE IS GOING TO FIX SOMETHING, HE WILL.
THERE IS NO NEED TO REMIND HIM EVERY 6 MONTHS!!
REALISTMemberMIK5:
DO NOT GO PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH!!
NO!! I HAVE NEVER LIFTED UP MY SHEL ROSH THINKING THAT IT ENABLES ME TO SPEAK!
AND WHAT IN MY WORDS LED YOU TO INFER THAT LUDICROUS THOUGHT?
LASTLY, THE ‘SOME’ THAT YOU REFER TO THAT MAKE ANOTHER BRACHA AFTER THE BATHROOM, WOULD YOU PLEASE ENLIGHTEN THE REST OF US IGNORAMI AS TO WHOSE PSAK THAT IS DONE?????
REALISTMemberYou r defntly NOT obligating yourself to make a bracha.
Your Rov said this?!
Are you sure??
Highly doubtful.
Why is this worse than re-donning them after going to the bathroom?
REALISTMemberDoes anybody know anything about Rabbi Yanofsky’s Lakewood Sem?
REALISTMemberFor years, Morty Goldberg spent his Saturdays golfing. But when his wife died, he regularly began attending Saturday morning services so that he could say kaddish for her.
Once the period had passed, the ritual chair asked Morty if he
would like an aliyah the following Saturday. Morty said he’d be honored.
But when folding up his tallis after the service, he realized if he was going
to have an aliyah, he really should have his tallis cleaned.
So on his way to work Monday morning, he figured he’d stop at Cohen’s
Dry Cleaning and drop off the tallis. He pulls into the parking lot and
proceeds to blanche when he sees the sign on the door: Achmed’s Dry
Cleaning.
He goes in and asks the owner, “What happened to Cohen?”
“Sir,” said Achmed, “Mr. Cohen has retired. I spent many years working
for him, and I bought out his business. And I am proud to say that many
of his best customers still use my services.”
Morty shows him that tallis and asks if he can have it clean by Fridy.
“Friday is my sabbath,” explained Achmed. “But I can have it ready
for you Thursday.”
Even better, Morty thinks, so he leaves the tallis with Achmed.
Thursday he comes to pick it up, and sure enough, it’s ready and
hanging on a hanger in side a protective plastic overcover. “How
much do I owe you?” he asks.
“$49.95 plus tax,” Achmed answers.
“$49.95!” screams Morty. “Cohen never charged me more than
five bucks to clean my tallis.”
“Yes, Mr. Goldberg,” said Achmed, “but Mr. Cohen never got all
the knots out…”
REALISTMemberChoppy:
Wrong thread.
REALISTMemberHaving written my previous post, one must keep a delicate balance between two maamorei Chazal.
Hochayach tochayach es amisecha,
while at the same time,having in mind,
K’shot atzmecho v’achar kach k’shot acheirim.
It’s not easy.
REALISTMemberLessChumras:
Say what you want, TOI is correct!
No bais din was required as Pinchas knew the halacha was on his side.
Specifically, “Ha-bo al Aramis, Kanoim pogim bo”.
Not agreeing with a halacha was the start of the reform movement!
Good Luck!
REALISTMemberIt’s very simple.
If you cannot or are unwilling to do the job and ALL IT ENTAILS, find yourself a different profession!!!
REALISTMemberAll the internet rabbis have to learn the difference between a minhag, a chumra, and a din!!! Then, and only then, review all these posts and see if you’d repeat some of your comments.
REALISTMemberOf course there’s a difference!
There is no Mechaber that says “Coca Cola chova hee”.
But there is one that reads, “Mayim Acharonim chova hee”.
So if one’s minhag is not to adhere to the Sh. A., kol hakavod, but be gracious and allow others to keep the halacha.
To quote you; To each their own. Facilitate it!
REALISTMemberAnd, Yitayning…, if you, the host, were on a diet, and drank only diet Coke, you’d tell your guest that if he wants, the reg. Coke’s in the fridge??? Gimme a break! Just bring out the Mayim Acharonim,and do ur hachnosas orchim all the way!
REALISTMemberQuestions 1 & 3, I’ll leave to those in the know, but to answer the question re their havara; they’re a russian based chassidus and therefore (like Lubavitch) do not have the Chassidish havara of Polish and Hungarian based Chassidim.
REALISTMemberHEY… If I were married to Michelle O, I would also be pro same-gender marriage!
REALISTMemberBOCHUR613 said, “I have heard In the name of many gedolim…”.
I have heard from many ‘now-deceased’ smokers that they wished they had stopped smoking when the world learned of its dangers.
I trust what I heard first hand, over what you may have heard many times removed from its questionable source.
REALISTMemberBochur,
Consider amending your moniker to ‘Bochur612’.
And from there, it’s a slippery slope…
REALISTMemberHaifa,
I’m older than you think.
I’m younger than I feel.
Old is actually a frame of mind.
I think and act young.
I know that 3 world theory, but…
A. It is no longer applicable in today’s world.
B. Third world referred then to unaligned or unaffilliated countries. Somehow the term morphed into referring to under-developed countries.
In any case, it’s not an accurate term today, and as the Chief Enforcement Officer, go out and enforce!
(BTW, I’m older than President Lincoln was when elected President)
REALISTMemberBTGuy,
Much fun has been made of this English language. But since we started down this path already, I’ve got two more points for you to ponder.
1. Where are all the ‘second world countries?
2. We use the expression “back and forth”.
How are you expected to go back before going forth?!?
(The Yiddish version of this expression is correct. ‘Heen un tzurick”)
REALISTMemberSo, BTGuy,
Without legs, how do you suppose the milk ‘went bad’?
How do you explain the robbery ‘going down’?
And finally, how do you think people (a serious number of them!) are ‘going crazy’?
REALISTMemberAnother reason we sing, “A GANTZ YUHR PEERIM!”.
November 8, 2011 10:28 pm at 10:28 pm in reply to: I can't believe what President Obama and Sarkozy said about Netanyahu!! #824882REALISTMemberWith idiots like these…
Who needs Wikileaks??
REALISTMemberSHEDREADY IS STILL MIA!
REALISTMember23,419!!
REALISTMemberThey are a great org.
But that said, I think the following statement taken off their website now is a fact not publicised previously. Judge for yourselves.
“Sorry, this auction is now closed – For a list of winners click here. An “exclusive” selection of prizes will be drawn the night of Lakewood Auction. The remainder of prizes will be drawn on Nov. 23 at Boro Park Auction.”
The last line about waiting till November…
REALISTMemberSHEDREADY, the silence is deafening!!
REALISTMemberDONE!
THANX.
IF SHEDREADY WRITES THAT HE SIGNED THE PETITION I WILL GIVE A VERY NICE AMOUNT TO TZEDOKO!
REALISTMemberdeiyezooger
YOU MISSED THE BOAT!
WE’RE TALKING ABOUT THE TOP OR BOTTOM CHALLA.
NOT THE TOP OR BOTTOM OF THE CHALLA.
REALISTMemberlittleapple, wise guy! eh?
Q. What’s the result of smokin’ too much?
A. Coffin!!!
Your turn…
REALISTMemberThanx, Gavra.
A Gut Yohr 2 U & Urs. And 2 E/O in the CR community.
REALISTMemberLITTLEAPPLE, I THINK SHE SUCCEEDED!
REALISTMemberHope some of you are old enuff to get this.
What do Maxwell House and skydiving have in common?
Both are good till the last drop!
REALISTMemberAs a property manager of a frum developement I walked into an apartment with my Mexican super to do some work.
On the wall is a picture of Reb Shaya’le Kerestirer.
This goy looks at it and says to me,
“I no believe dis lady have mouses”!!!!!
You tell me. Do they know too much?
REALISTMemberToi:
Is that short for Toi-eh?
Platonic relationships are most certainly NOT birshus Hatorah!
REALISTMemberCan someone please explain this to me?
I just noticed that my ‘age-defying!’ wrinkle removing cream has an expiration date!!@!!!
REALISTMemberToi:
How about, “Mommy, what can I do for you bein has’dorim?”
September 12, 2011 3:58 am at 3:58 am in reply to: write a grammatically correct sentence with the word 'and' 5 times consecutively #808327REALISTMemberMidwesterner:
Excellent!
September 12, 2011 3:11 am at 3:11 am in reply to: Havdalah – Putting Wine on Your Eyes and in Your Pocket #808290REALISTMemberMy (not to be taken seriously) kasha is:
Why are we putting the wine in our Shabbosdike clothing?
If we’re doing it for parnassa, it should be put in our work pants!
REALISTMember“only someone who went there would know what those initials stand for.”
WELL, I CERTAINLY DIDN’T ATTEND.
I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ADMITTED BECAUSE OF THE ‘O’ IN YOUR ACRONYM.
AND OLLIE’S A GOOD GUY, (FOR A MUSLIM).
PLANTED NICE FLOWERS IN FRONT TOO!
(SO MUCH FOR YOUR SECRET!)
REALISTMemberI’m in trouble!
I don’t have an alibi…
REALISTMemberLi’l Sally, How ’bout this…
“I MAY BE SCHIZOPHRENIC,
BUT AT LEAST I HAVE EACH OTHER.”
REALISTMemberBest one I ever heard:
“KILLING TIME ISN’T MURDER;
IT’S SUICIDE”
REALISTMemberilovetohock
YOU LOVE TO HOCK
TOO BAD YOU DON’T LOVE TO READ!
THE JOKE WAS POSTED ALREADY
28 HOURS BEFORE YOU.
REALISTMemberQ. What’s the difference between a bochur and a yingerman?
A. A bochur eats chulent Thursday, Friday, and Shabbos.
A yingerman eats it on Shabbos, Sunday, and Monday!
REALISTMemberGirls,
Why don’t you have the same beef with seminary application fees of $500.00! You know you’ll go to only one seminary, just as only one shadchan will be yours!
REALISTMember1988 Town Car;
and I luv it!
REALISTMemberEXACTLY 10 YEARS AGO.
REALISTMemberWOLF,
You may have a point there.
I wonder why I’m thinking of doughnuts now…
REALISTMemberWOLF,
The ‘dikduk’ative term for this is a PATACH GENUVA.
It applies to the letters ayin, ches, & hay b’sof hamila,
with a patach.
Common examples are Mizbeach, Noach, Sheyismamay-AH in Ani Maamin, and, (of course, the most commonly mispronounced one) Meelifney Elo-AH Yaakov in Hallel.
REALISTMemberJust wondering why YW Radio constantly lists Amit Listvand as the song next up, but he never plays.
REALISTMemberSeveral women appeared in court, each accusing the others of
causing the trouble they were having in the apartment
building where they lived.
The women were arguing noisily even in the court.
The judge, banging his gavel to quiet them, said, “We are
going to do this in an orderly manner. I can’t listen to all
of you at once. I’ll hear the oldest first.”
The case was dismissed for lack of testimony!
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