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razor=scooter (the kind that is silver and folds in half) I just saw a man in his 70;s scooting around yerushalayim on one—too funny!
you know, when a non frum student asks me why I am doing what I am doing, how I know it’s true, and really makes me question my beliefs and see where they came from, many times the answer is: I never thought about it, I just do it because I grew up that way (if I am honest with myself) and I grew up in a Kiruv home and do it myself. I can have all the answers, but deep down I have not looked into my own religion enough and so I would assume the majority of frum people are like me…not a good recipe for successful frumkeit and relationship with Hashem. We all need to dig deep and see why we do what we do and how do we really develop a relationship with Hashem (that doesn’t involve pain or death or health problems as the main connection). I think we need kiruv professionals for in-reach…because I bet most people wouldn’t be able to honestly answer these 18 year old not frum student’s questions…
what do I say to jewish college kids who tell me they are going to be in the dorm having a holloween party? They have noooo clue….
There are kiruv programs in the US that do it, they have a system and workbooks that teach them how to read hebrew. As for speaking, probably most people on the CR don’t speak a good hebrew and they went through many years of school. The only way is to come to Israel, abandon your english and make many mistakes. You can’t learn fluent hebrew in the US unless your in a community that only speaks hebrew (where is that??). Yesodei Hatorah in Atlanta, Pheonix and other places have a good method for reading. I beleive they have a website.Yesodeihatorah.org
BP Totty- That’s the way to go???
As if we NEED labels?? This is a sad reality that we feel like we define eveything and anyone- we’re normal= they’re too frum, they’re not frum enough phenomenon. Just be confident about who you are without the need to put other people into categories. Can you imagine a Gadol Biysrael using these labels. It makes me sick. Let people be who they want to be. If you truly feel compassion for those less religious than you, get involved in Kiruv!
I certainly hope Hashem doesn’t read these!!!! It certainly wouldn’t help us in our case for moshiach…PLEASE people…. labeling is a symptom of our downfall. DONT give into it! Grow up and accept everyone for who they are (not what they DO, but as a human being and fellow Jew).
is OTD a verb? Anyhow, what in heaven’s name are you talking about? I have no clue- but seems like there’s no point to this discussion and can only lead to lashon hara. Grow up people! Not EVERYTHING is your business! YOU are the people that make these situations hard for people who are going through them.
I think the concept of bashert is misunderstood. People make mistakes, all sorts of factors come in. you have to use your brain. A marriage wont always be the perfect fit, but that’s why G-d created marriage- to bring out the worst in us so we will work on it.
craigslist.com actually has a Jerusalem job page (not sure how to get to it) and i’ve seen some interesting things on there. I am also a graphic designer in Jerusalem, so I guess we are in competition!!!
question: (may not be related) but someone just told me how a chabad rabbi did a ‘conversion’ on someone that a mainstream orthodox rabbi refused to do. (She married a Jew, converted conservative or reform (not sure which) and now went to the chabad rabbi.Her husband is not frum (shomer shabbos) and neither is she. I was very surprised by this. Apparently chabad is more lenient? is this true? (
having never met a gerer chassid in my life, what are these rules you speak of? I am very curious. A teacher of mine once said what a tragedy it is that some of us can relate better to goyim that to some people who are frum/chassidish….so true!
I hope that everyone responding to this thread is doing EVERYTHING they can to help these neshamos. They have the same neshama as you, and it is through Yad Hashem alone that you are FFB (if you are). It is so heartbreaking to see what is going on with these kids- they know NOTHING and to think that only a few generations ago someone in their family was frum…
I certainly hope MosheRose is not his real name. Imagine getting a shidduch call about/for moshe rose- that would be too funny! Mothers, I guess there’s a new question to add to the list: will he look at my daughter and talk to her?
How many times do people need to say that this is LASHON HARA- AN ISSUR DIORAYSA!!!! So go and bash someone else, but you all are publicaly embarassing yourselves by doing an issur in public. Someone bring me the halacha that makes this muttar. If you have issues with someone, talk to your own rav, but yapping about other people (even if it may be muttar) is just not something a G-d fearing person should do (who was the Gadol that wouldn’t ever touch his beard because he didn’t want to chas veshalom pick out a hair on shabbos??)
sacrilege- gourmetkoshercooking.com is a great site with literally hunderds of interesting recipes- I made these amazing garlic stuffed mushrooms from there (and then used the garlic stuffing to stuff chicken breast with pastrami spread this stuffing, coat in egg and bread crumbs and fry- BIG hit) also the terra chip cole slaw from there was really good, mini brocolli quiches, mini salmon quiches for appetizer (i make the dough and make them in muffin tins- so cute!), salmon roll, salmon quiche, plum tart, strawberry bread from Kosher by Design brunch section is YUM as a side dish, asian steak salad from kosher by design salad section is HEAVEN- can be served as app, side, or main—it’s delicious!, I have like a million interesting recipes, but check out that site and let me know if you need more ideas!
I heard something really nice: when they were down there, they sent up their requests (ie cigarettes, etc) but only things that were approved by nurtritionists, psychologists, etc. were sent down. We have all sorts of requests for Hashem, but He only sends down what is best for us….
I wish for more money so I can see my mommy and daddy more than once a year. Why does money mean seeing your family more? NOT FAIR!
are we suppose to assume that you are in New York? That frum jewry starts and ends in New York?
What’s wrong with putting your oven on a timer? I guess it probably depends on what kind of oven, but I never leave a flame on yom tov. Some even say that you can lower the flame (not sure if you can make it higher). I leave it on 350 and put the food in about 1/2hr.- 45 min before the meal. That way my kitchen is also not too hot!
well, I clearly live in one of the hearts of the matter and I see men all around me who are 27, 28, 29+ who have no idea what they want to do with their lives. It is impossible that all of these people would make good teachers/ rebbeim and if they have no degree and no family business to go into, then what is the plan??? don’t get it at all…..somehow they are being supported…but for how long??
I was actually going to open up a Tzedaka fund for people who need therapy. I had an idea for a system, got rabbanim and therapists involved, but I couldn’t do the fundraising. I just can’t do it, it just isn’t in my personality. I feel very guilty about it, so if anyone has that skill and wants to join forces, you can let me know.
Absolutely think that in MOST cases, Bais Yaakov seminaries are NO DIFFERENT than a 5th year of High School. It’s glorified babysitting- don’t want them to get married yet and don’t want them to go to college yet. I think there is a lot of potential to make it more productive and effective than high school, but unfortunately most people are not so creative, and teach what they have been teaching for the last 20 years and don’t think out of the box. Or teach the same way every other seminary teaches. I always wanted to do real research to see the long-term effects of seminary to get some real research on which seminaries are most effective. To do that, we would have to define very clearly our goals for the seminary way and a measurable way of asessing if they were fulfilled.
very close family member is a major person behind the concerts…I will tell him to look at this thread.
miriam adahan’s website and books (especially from Victim to Victor) have a lot of great material on abuse and overcoming it.
wow! a yeshiva where people accept eachother and even tolerate all different ‘types”??????? SHOCKING!!!!! WHAT A CHIDDUSH!!!!! It’s a neis!!! I am pleasantly surprised and hope other learn from this!!!
I am curious about one thing: why does this bother people sooo much? Why when they see someone wearing something inappropriate, they get angry at the person? It really brings up interesting emotions not found by other transgressions. And don’t answer Kavod Shamayim, because if we really cared deeply about that, well, things would be a lot different. So why? Is it because you’re scared your husband will see them? Please answer honestly.
About people who grew up in abusive homes, a main component in overcoming this is having a family that can be an example of a healthy functional family. The person has no idea how a healthy home should run and so they need to immerse themselves in a healthy family situation and learn. Living by them for a few years is best. I have seen many families in a clinical setting that have no idea what to do eventhough they vowed they would never be like their parents. End result is that they usually go to the opposite extreme or do the same thing, both of which are bad for the family.
galus everyone…everything is going down hill. I can barely think of one issue, one mitzva that’s not suffering. We’re all confused and lacking clarity. Even rabbanim and leaders. It’s part of galus and if you really care about the shchina, you will daven very hard during this time and always that mashiach come….
The question is where does the anger come from in the first place? Well, we have a chazal that equates anger to avoda zara. What the two have in common is that we all walk around with the belief that ‘I SHOULD get good service,’ people around me MUST do what I want, I deserve xyz….We think we are god and deserve to have what we want, when we want it. Well, if we are serving ourselves, then we can’t also serve Hashem at the same time. Arrogance fits right in here as well..the feeling of entitlement. Who said everything should work the way you want it? Why do you deserve that things should run on time…people should listen to you, etc….If we can try to replace this gaava with a feeling of humility that Hashem is in control and owes us nothing plus Hakoras Hatov when things DO go well, we get minimize the anger that we do have. Practice makes perfect and that’s the only way to lessen the anger is to repeat these messages over and over until they begin to take root in one’s psyche and the same goes for every midda.
I don’t understand. You are deciding whom you should consider based on societal norms? What do YOU want? Do YOU want someone in Chinuch? Who cares what other people say? Why are you asking peopleon YWN who you should consider for marriage? No offense, but if this is how you will decide then perhaps you should wait until you clarify what you want because when you’re married and if you’re not happy with the path you chose, all of us on on YWN wont be there! good luck!
mosh85, if I remember correctly, you started a different thread asking other questions. I really think you need a rebbe. I am not being sarcastic, you need someone, maybe not a rabbi, but someone wise to develop a relationship with to aks questions to. Good Luck!
I heard that rav shlomo zalman said that certain groups should not do tashlich because they attribute so much power to it and don’t bother doing teshuva. It’s the same with segulos- when they come AFTER and are SECONDARY to teshuva and tefilla and real avodas Hashem, they are ok. But nowadays, segulos have become the Jewish version of a ‘fast-food’ lifestyle.
I always get so irritated when people discuss how expensive seminary is. They can charge what they want- NOONE is forcing you to go! and I know that no one is getting rich from the seminaries. They simply are NOT!!!! It costs a TON to feed and house a bunch of girls, pay staff and teachers and trips, etc. No matter what the system is, they are still privately owned and owe nothing to anyone. Also, the shekel has dropped in terms of the dollar tremndously in the past few years, and so $’s get much fewer Shekels to the $ now, so prices had to go up….
It is a hard day, and it is proof of how bad this galus is that we can’t truly mourn over it for even a few minutes…let alone a whole day. Maybe someone can come up with a flexible program of study/excersizes/ something experiential to help people utilize the day and get in touch with who we really are and what we are really missing. The videos produced are nice, but they are short- relatively speaking…any ideas…..
I have recently begun to see a nutritionist after realizing that dieting is not a long term solution and learning to love healthy foods is! I feel that it is part of Avodas Hashem to learn to have a healthy relationship with food (there are many ideas about food and serving Hashem). Our society is very mixed up on this topic with the kugels and the meats and heavy meals. I can’t wait until they all change, I can only change myself. i hope bachurim don’t stop eating by me….
so now yeshiva world has become a rabbi? I think that asking a shaila is the way to go, not ask random people that you don’t know and pick the best answer….if you need help finding a competent rav, I am sure someone can help you with that…
can we ignore this thread and pretend that things like this don;t matter to us…just for the nine days?????please????what kind of message does this send to hashem that this question is even being asked.
when I was in seminary, I had a $400 bill the first month. So I went and bought a phone that only works on a pre-paid plan and bought only 200 shekels a month of calling cards. The plan is not as great as not prepaid, but it allows total control. I know that for the last few days of the month I had no minutes, so maybe be a bit more generous- 200 shekels divided by about 3.8 is the rate probably around $60. It really taught me to ‘budget’ my talking. And ignore the school about only having their phone…I still have that phone I bought and lend it out all the time to relatives coming and going and they buy their own minutes, so it’s good for everyone.
too funny misterhock! my advice- challenge your teachers as to why everything they teach is directly relevant to your life as a jewish mother/wife. You have 10 months. While rashi’s and other meforshim are nice, you need to prioritize. Don’t let them waste your 20+ grand on things that will leave you feeling unfulfilled when you get married and have kids cuz you don’t have time to learn gemara or chumash. Ask them to help you prepare for YOUR life, not your brother’s!
hashem should never give you a chance to need hatzala, but I bet if they saved your mother or baby, you would have something very different chofetzchaim!
chofetzchaim- how could you call yourself that when you publicly post lashon hara? I am appalled!
I find it so interesting that people who have been married for over twenty years come on this blog…I can’t imagine my father or mother ever doing that…they don’t have the time and would rather give over their thoughts to real people who really want to learn from them. As a bored Kollel wife this is my entertainment, but I hope I wont have time for this in twenty years…I hope I will be contributing to Klal Yisrael in a more meaningful way… no offense, it’s just interesting to me.
Approaching tznius from the perspective of the taava of men will never work in the long run….it’s galus and people are trying hard, but the yetzer hara is really strong for everyone. Look around the country, I wont say where I am from, but in my high school, tznius was taught in an innovative way. It;s still not 100% successful, but it’s an improvement over the stories I hear from in town schools….
I have always been confused on this topic. I feel like everyone is biased and has an agenda and I want real information (preferably without working too hard for it!) If anyone has done research, please post!
Welcome to Galus where everyone is insecure and lacking clarity in their Avodas Hashem…where people must put other people down to make themselves feel good…where people are paranoid about shidduchim and go overboard…welcome to this long aweful galus…please judge the religion and NOT the religious…. and pray that it be over soon!
maybe taking 10 weeks (or so) off of school a year is a little much. I don’t understand how this came to be and why it is allowed to go on. While I can relate to the teachers who want and deserve a break for sure, but 10 weeks is really a lot, especially since most rabbeim and moros don’t have to use vacation days for yomim tovim. But I think we can only take away from our rabbeim and moros when we’ve given them something like a raise in salary, or maybe even some Kavod for what they do….
obviously we are talking about a normal range. If the camps really did charge too much, they would be empty and would lower their prices (which they might have done, I don’t know). But chesedname you are now implying that there is a need for camps to be a tzedakka organization so the mother can work…interesting…
I obviously agree and know that first hand. I was commenting on the money aspect…If someone wanted to just make money, camp/ seminary would NOT be the first place I would turn…which just reinforces my point…
I think you do a great disservice to the community when you post something like this. Everyone is entitled to have a business and charge whatever they want. They don’t owe you anything! You can make your own decision as to whether or not you can afford it,, but you are implying that they are doing something wrong by charging what you consider to be so much and it’s as if you are saying that you are entitled to a cheaper camp price. Let each person decide for themselves, but camp owners (many of whom are NOT becoming rich) can decide what price they want to charge. It’s a free market. Same goes for seminaries- it’s as if people think that people who own seminaries OWE people an affordable seminary experience. It’s a business (again, one off of which MOST are NOT becoming rich, contrary to popular belief) and it’s their right to charge what they want and your right as a consumer to pay or not. They don’t owe anyone anything!