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Toi- One doesn’t need to have started at a much younger age to be “equal” or whatever, (it definitely does help though) I am a ba’al teshuvah who started learning Gemarah at a MUCH later age than most of my peers in yeshiva, and I can say that B”H with HaShem’s Great help, I am able to match and even surpass many of them, (as well in other yeshivos, which I have attended, or which I occasionally step into to learn). It’s a matter of will, toil, and at the end of the day, Siyata D’Shmaya. That’s the truth. (having a good kop definitely helps a LOT though, because B”H I was blessed with a fair kop I’d say, and that’s what helped me throughout my progress)
woohooo! SWEET!! I vow to do my best to fearlessly lead our flock to SUC Gan Eden (lol) and properly follow the (Perfect) halakhot! lol. Pinnym- Mazal Tov once again, and it seems like you’re a quick learner! Shkoyach for the chizuk!
Oh I’m definitely working on mine! I hope that I can fill it up really nicely! (for all those who are completely clueless, search up “The Dash” poem)
haha wow, sweet! Thanks dude!
pinnym- Mazal Tov! I’m sure when shopping613 gets back on she’ll award you the “certificate”.
Shopping613- Nu? Am I the official Rabbinical Leader of the SUC or not?
wow, that post by pinnym REALLY made me jealous. I’m still fasting =(. When I was in yeshiva in EY after every fast, for all the years I was there, yeshiva gave out bagels and a variety of cream cheeses along with some sliced veggies, and some of the bachurim would be in the kitchen during Arvit (since yeshiva’s minyan was later, these guys would daven in the shul next door’s earlier minyan) making scrambled eggs with veggies in ’em. However me and my friends had a sort of system, one would get the bagels for us, the other the cream cheeses, another the scrambled eggs, while I would go and make all of us some tea with sugar. We would all first have a few sips of tea, then we would…feast. Yeah, the good ol’ days…I still try to do some of that here at home as sort of “zecher” to when I was there a couple of years ago.
For some reason, in Yeshiva, I find it hard to learn on my own, on Shabbos when I’m at a shul or a different yeshiva when nobody knows me, I can plug for hours on end B’H. If you’re like me that you can’t learn in yeshiva on your own, then it might be better to stick to the “bad” chavrusa. On the other hand, if you guys have completely different goals in learning (ie, even during 2nd seder, I like to learn a little more iyun-dik like iyun kal, as opposed to a more bekiyus-dik, and I had a chavrusa that would constantly get upset and show it whenever I’d ask a kashya that would require a little more thought) then I’d suggest possibly trying to switch or maybe even dropping him (if possible).
I’m a Sephardi Jew who holds by Hacham Ovadiah Yosef Shlit”a, and I’m sure you’re all familiar with his psak regarding wigs. When I (naively) asked my Rebbi before starting shidduchim if I should cancel a shidduch if she told me she wanted to wear a wig, he replied “women work much differently than men do. To them, beauty is a major part of their lives, if a woman doesn’t feel beautiful, it will affect her greatly. Just because you take on certain chumros as din, doesn’t mean you should impose them on others”. The same can be applied to other aspects of tznius as well. Although I do agree that some of the ways that these “religious” women dress is borderline tznius, (some even beyond that border) we can’t impose anything on them. We should try to teach them the importance of tznius, and looking beautiful FOR THEIR HUSBANDS, but have to go about it the right way. (Also, it’s not just length that’s the issue, I’ve seen unfortunately women with skirts down to their ankles, but were denim skirts so tight, that it didn’t leave much to the imagination R’L)
wow! Where are you people dating? I want in on that! I’m a pretty good guy, good learner I’d say, tall, not heavy, have been told many times that I’m a good looking guy, known to have a great personality and always a blast at simchas, (and clearly humble 😉 lol) and I do NOT have a whole list of girls lined up for me (although I did before I was on the market, somehow that all changed once I officially put myself out there lol) I was told to make a resume, I’ve been on the market for about 7 months now, and only went out with 2 girls, I have been told about girls and rejected before going out, and I can almost never turn down the girl once we’ve gone out (don’t want to make her feel bad) so I guess I’m a yotzi min haklal, because I don’t see any upper hand on my part.
Wow, I really feel for you. I’m one of the last 4 single guys in my yeshiva! (well, I guess you can call it just a kollel now lol) I went through too many “best friends” that I’d do everything with, and one by one, I had to replace them lol. It’s much more difficult now, especially when I see all the guys in yeshiva, and they make their marriage jokes. But B’H I don’t think I’m taking it too bad, (we have one guy in yeshiva who’s taking it WAY too rough, it’s mamash making him go nuts!) I try to look at the positives, and focus on them; for instance I can go to all the simchas and stay until much later, (and I’m known to be quite the dancer B’H) I get to learn a full night seder, and a lot more ben hasedarim, and am able to do many things just spontaneously, without having to “check with the boss” (and besides, dorm life is sooo much fun!). I still do pray to HaShem that He send me my zivug soon, because it really is very difficult, but in the meantime, I try to focus on the things I mentioned above, and remember something my Mashgiach used to say: “Marriage is not as good as bachurim think it is, and is not as bad as avrechim say it is”. Best of luck to you Red, hope you find your zivug b’karov mamash!
My dad’s boss is a Reform Jew. She said that their shul has a coffee break during the Yom Kippur “services”. She also asked me to be their new Rabbi. I declined stating that I was orthodox and wouldn’t be able to travel the long distance every Shabbat; to which she replied: “don’t worry, we’ll get you an orthodox driver every Shabbat!”
ROB- that’s not the Rambam she’s referring to, the Rambam says that one should break up his LEARNING day into 3, and says “keitzad haya ba’al umonas v’haya osek b’mlachto 3 sha’os v’lomed 9 sha’os, etc.” that’s the one, I forget off hand where it is, (I don’t have a Rambam handy now, sorry) but it’s in hilchos Talmud Torah, the 2nd or 3rd Perek I believe, but I’m not sure exactly. And the Biur Halacha I quoted earlier (resh lamed alef) is the one where he calls it a hor’as sha’ah like she said as well.
I agree with DY that R’Altusky was right in his attempts to keep the bachur in yeshiva a little longer, (I, myself wanted to leave after a short while, and BH my Rosh Yeshiva encouraged me to stay a little longer, and I’m still staying strong B’H, and am currently working on a kuntress, B’H with quite a few chiddushim, something I never even dreamt would be within my capabilities) although I must admit, his statement of “no college man can be frum” was harsh, but then again, how sure can we be of his “quote” of R’Altusky? Maybe he didn’t say it like that?? We all have what to learn, and notice that many people here are “frowning upon” (to be nice) those who sit and learn full time. Why is that? Why are you now any better than your supposed “accusers”? Yes, there are those in yeshiva/kollel who do their occasional batalah, but can’t you say that there are those who go to college and aren’t kovei’a itim, or even worse don’t make an honest living C’V (ie ribbis, ona’ah, etc.)? There are those in both fields who aren’t exactly the biggest “tzaddikim” in their respectful fields, yet that is no reason to go on the offensive and bash the other “klal”. It seems to me that those here who are working and typing such nonsensical things almost feel guilty of the fact that they’re working. Listen to your own advice, and respect the fact that you are working, don’t bash those who aren’t because they don’t agree with you.
I was in a few yeshivas, and am still in Yeshivah B’H and not once was I told in private or in public (shmuessen) that we shouldn’t marry the daughter of a working man, not once did I hear that balebatim are “bad” or anything of the sort. The shmuessen always contained chizuk of the “we’re holding up the world, it’s our zechus, we’re really fighting the war, etc.” type of thing, but never did they put down the balebatim. And do you really see everyone sitting and learning? B’H there are a LOT more people doing it, but it’s definitely not the majority. Even for these young people getting married it’s usually just a year for them to be “yotze” but nowhere near the majority of the velt. I don’t understand why people are getting so offended and going on the defensive (with a strong offense) as if you feel guilty. There is no, nor should there be, any reason for anyone to feel guilty over going to work, or going to learn. Both are great! I think the only thing the Roshei Yeshiva might be stressing is that if a person can STILL learn, maybe he should, and they might frown upon going to work when he “doesn’t have to yet”. But nobody is bashing one side or the other. They’re talui ze baze. (Im ein kemach ein Torah, Im ein Torah, ein Kemach)
Well firstly, I was merely stating that Ran to show that this isn’t a novel idea at all as people were claiming it to be, there is absolutely nothing wrong with somebody learning full time nor is there anything wrong with somebody working full time. Next, there are various other mefarshim that explain that Rambam, most notably the Kesef Mishnah there, look at it, it’s a nice long shtickel, that goes to town, but definitely worth it. Not to mention the Biur Halacha in Resh Lamed Alef. No need to attack me, lol. But if you do, you might as well do some proper iyun on the sugya beforehand including being me’ayen the nosei kelim on the sources you quote lol. But once again, I am not noi’teh either way, if somebody is able to sit and learn full time (and believe me it’s not easy) by all means go ahead! (you have the Rambam’s guarantee that you won’t be forsaken, and you’ll have all you need, ayen the Rambam, last halacha of shmitah v’yovel). If you are unable to, then go and make an HONEST living! That’s obviously the Ratzon HaShem for you! Don’t go one way or the other and bash the other side.
hey oomis- I can introduce you to many young avreichim in my yeshiva, and many more in yeshivas and kollels round the globe, it’s done! Even in todays world!
Dude, you’re the man! I’m so glad somebody posted this…I am finally ready to admit that I had a lack of perfection for not seeing it as clearly as you did…congrats! (but now that I do, I’m perfect again woohoo!)
Well, I don’t get a buzz cut, but I am very makpid on the way I look and present myself, so hair definitely plays a big role in that. (thus I also can’t cut my own hair bc it won’t be perfect, and as my SN clearly states, I’m Rabbi Perfect lol)
Actually, the idea of the husband learning and the wife working to bring in the parnassah is not a relatively new idea at all. Ayen the Ran in Kiddushin on “ha lan ha lahu” he brings down that bnei bavel, their wives would be able to work and bring home parnassah, whilst the bnei EY their wives wouldn’t work they would “me’ongot v’einam osot” is the lashon I believe. Not new at all.
Oh and to those that say you can just as well get the great quality shiurim online, there is a HUGE difference hearing it live and recorded, you see the Rabbi’s facial expressions and body movements, what bothers him and what gets him excited, that’s part of the Mesorah.
Well, you made a few great points, it is definitely costly to live a frum lifestyle, but there are a lot of changes you can make that won’t really hurt you, ie all those subscriptions you have, completely unnecessary (even hamodia) if you’d really like, just keep 1 or 2 of them. Mikvah is about $5 max Erev Shabbat. As aforementioned, you don’t need to “join” numerous shuls. The haircut thing, I agree with I get a haircut every 3 weeks (that’s only bc it’s expensive otherwise I’d do it every 2 weeks) and counting the cost and tip, that’s about $12 every time for me. You can go to Century 21 for really nice ties for a fraction of the price, I get ties there for only about $13-$18 (brand name ones too). Zara has a great selection of suits that if bought at the right time, will only cost you a little over $120 for a full suit! Shirts, that can be a problem, you want good quality shirts so they easily go above $30 so yeah. However, I am a very strong believer in the notion that anything that’s done l’kvod Shabbos/Yom Tov is not on your cheshbon, so I’d take that out of my list too.
truthsharer, was your Rebbi by any chance the honorable gaon and tzaddik R’Mendel Kaplan ZT”L??
haha how about Rabbinical Leader for the SUC?
yeah so I’m not getting any PR anymore…unless I get some cool title like US branch manager or VP or something, maybe I want out lol. (No this is NOT a threat lol I don’t care enough to threaten over the net)
wow awesome! I finally got my first edit! And with such a great comment too! I’m loving it! Thanks Mod, you just TOTALLY made my day!!!
I think it’s cute–at best. It can also be a nice little added incentive to help you stay away, but I don’t agree with it. I might just be saying this because I’m a guy and noge’a b’davar, but I don’t think every guy is out there just to “get some” and I know for a fact that not every guy that goes out on shidduchim dates is already mature. You should refrain from speaking with guys because you’ll both suffer from it, the guy will be further enticed to do an aveirah, and the girl will suffer a bad name/reputation for the future.
Edited. are you crazy?
I have (as I’m sure many of us who are sitting in learning full-time) some pretty bad lower back issues, and I’m considering a chiropractor (or maybe PT) anybody have any suggestions?
Well this one happened just recently, I was at a friend’s chasuna and I’m known to be a good dancer B’H, but I don’t generally dance in the middle when all the girls are there (for whatever reason) but I got pushed in the middle and as I tried to do a certain move called a “freeze” I wasn’t able to (what I think is due to the nervousness)…so I tried again, and yet again; unsuccessfully. VERY embarrassing.
I also pulled a Jerry Seinfeld once, “I’m busy now, how about you give me your house number, and I’ll call you at around 6ish, you can’t do that? You probably don’t want people calling you at home bothering you? Now you know how I feel!” and hang up! Of course I also do a lot of different accents with them, and sometimes just speak a different language, and if they transfer me (which once actually happened) I change to a completely different language. I’ve gone from English to Russian to Hebrew, it’s hilarious!
Thank you! I am officially a member! I feel honored! The truth is, I wanted to join JUST so I can be in every single post! (it’s great PR for RP)
I placed my application in the other thread. I want to join lol
I hereby place my application to join the club! I only have 1 username!
I got a call asking for my mother (she’s the name on the bills and stuff) and I pretended to be her husband, started yelling at the guy “oh are you the one she’s been cheating on me with?! How dare you have the audacity to call her on the house phone! What are you insane?!” When he started mumbling that he’s just from some company etc. I yelled “oh yeah great cover-up as if I’m going to believe that!” to which he replied you can check your caller-id sir and of course I said “wow! So she’s cheating on me with some low-life who can’t even get a real job!! I hope you know I installed a caller-tracking device on this line, and now I’ve located you and coming after you!!!” haha. That guy didn’t call again 🙂
Giyoress al pi halacha- Thanks for the great laugh!
Letz- thanks for staying true to your sn!
I’ll be honest, although I love being Jewish, and I love all the greatness it has to offer, I’m not sure if I’d be so quick to convert, I’m a BT so I remember some of the things I used to do back in my teens and early twenties, and it was pretty fun. I still have tayvaos to do some of those things, and only don’t because I’m a yeshivah bachur, and it would be a great chillul HaShem if I did. So…yeah although I’d love to say I’d convert immediately, I can’t say that with full confidence unfortunately.
You don’t have to wear a shirt, although a cap or something should be worn in place of a kippah. Take it from me, I’m a Rabbi (it says so in my title) B-)
Read “Reb Mendel” and you’ll have the TRUE answer to your question. (it’s a great read anyway, so I recommend it to everyone!)
Proud Registered Republican
It definitely can put someone in a vulnerable position but as you said it’s bound to happen sooner or later, and once you’ve already gotten comfortable enough (i.e. 3rd date, and/or arcade) that’s when you can start using these terms. To build up to that point, say some stories that happened to you in yeshiva (in Israel if you were there for yeshiva) or some random funny things that happened (even to you!) bc this will help break the ice and cool (both) your nerves’ and just remember to be confident and yourself! You’ll do fine bro! B’Hatzlacha!
Well in my opinion, don’t be afraid to use the “m” “h” or “w” words (marriage, husband, wife, respectively). Too many people are afraid to use such terms, but that’s exactly why you’re dating, to make these words applicable to you! Although it’s obvious to both parties, if it isn’t brought out at all, it’s being held back, as are those feelings, thus rendering it that much harder to get that special “connection”.
lol that’s good. How about (and actually I hope I’m the only one this happens to) taking some cookies/chips etc. from your friends and only after you put it in your mouth remembering to ask them if it’s dairy!
Phil-great ones! and Ilbj- the thumb dance, classic! I LOL’d on that one.
How about forgetting someone’s name, (and they like you and respect you a lot) and frantically trying to avoid using his name while baffling frantically to remember it!
ezer15- I guess we now know what the 15 represents in your SN. Quit acting like a teenager 🙂
This one happens to me ALL the time!!!
When you don’t have your phone in your pocket (either because it’s Shabbos or because it’s in your hand) and you “feel” the vibration in your pocket!!!
nsh- that first one is so true, I hate it when that happens to me. Similarly, when you pretend to chop what the other person just said even though you didn’t, and then in the next sentence or 2, you can’t follow the conversation anymore.
(if you guys didn’t get what I just meant by that, then here’s another one for the list, not being able to get your point across)
I do it but only because I was told to lol
Because teenagers think they’re on top of the world and that they know better than everyone else. Thus telling them they’re teenagers is telling them that they’re just young buffoons.
When a Rebbi (or someone respectful) catches you doing something that looks completely weird out of context.
When you just put on a freshly cleaned and pressed shirt, and within the hour you manage to get a slight stain right where it’s visible!