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If ch’v someones child really isn’t giving them a choice about having a b/f or g/f it is a question of smol doche v’yamin m’karav. They really have to weigh their options and ability to deal with the situation.They should also ask advice from others how to proceed.But one thing is certain. They absolutely, definitly should NOT ask the OTD crowd for advice.If anything input from the OTD crowd should influence their behavior to do the oppisite
ZD
If we start compromising on Halacha to keep people 80% frum we may as well join the Conservative movement today.
There is a concepts in Halacha of saying nothing when it is being violated to avoid a worse consequence but the OTD crowd (or the blog world for that matter) isn’t going to tell me when to apply it.
I will repeat that I think the motivation of OTD people telling us to lower standards is at least subconsciously an ulterior one
When someone who lives a lifestyle antithetical to the one I want for my children tells me how to raise them without incorporating that advice into their own lives the advice is suspect.
Frankly I don’t think the OTD crowd should be the ones telling us how to be mechahnech our children.If the writer was a Baales Teshuva, now practicing a more lenient version of Orthodox Judaism, that would be one thing but under the current circumstances I don’t need her advise about “Chanoch L’Naar Al Pi Dorkoy”
I’m not disagreeing with her I’m just commenting on the oddness of this whole post. I think there is really something else underlying when OTD people say “Had I been brought up MO maybe I would of remained frum”It is an attempt to shift blame for their going OTD from themselves to their parents schools etc.