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Huh? Most lubavitchers are ashkenazi.
I didn’t mean to offend anyone. I just really like it. If people would like me to change my name, I will.
I did not say the second yehiyu leratzon. I said the first one (after sim shalom). And just because they are not mainstream, does not mean they don’t exist. I was merely pointing out that you cannot give a general yes or no without knowing what minhag the person is following.
That still may be a neder. Doing something for a period of time becomes a neder.
Sam2,
Your first point is exactly on point with mine – “there are SOME shitos…” That is exactly what I said. Some poskim hold you should not answer amen in the middle of ashrei. I got this from a siddur compiled by Rav Ovadia Yosef. I do not know his source.
I do not understand why my second point was self contradictory. Please explain.
And when it comes to kedusha, according to most shittos, in Elokai Netzor, you can answer the full kedusha. It is birchos krias shema where you can only answer kadosh kadosh etc.
Mik,
Your questions may depend on if you are following Sefardi minhagim or ashkenaz ones. In response to your first question, some say that you should not answer amen “beemtza haperek” – in middle of a paragraph. Thus, if you are in the middle of ashrei, it is not so simple that you can just answer. I would suggest, if you see the Chazzan going to the bima, finish whatever paragraph you are up to and wait to answer amen. Note that if you finish Yehi chevod, you will have to repeat the last passuk – vehu rachum again because you are supposed to connect the end of yehi chevod to ashrei.
For your second question, the above posts were correct but I am not sure how clear they were. If you are not finished the first yehiyu leratzon (after sim shalom), you must continue without answering amen to anything and once kedusha comes, you must pause and listen and follow the kedusha without saying it. Then continue after kedusha is finished. If you did finish the yehiyu leratzon, you can answer amen and baruch hu ubaruch shemo as well as kedusha even in middle of elokai netzor.
As to your third and fourth questions, the other two posts sound correct according to all shitos (as far as I know).
I am not a posek so I am not saying everything I said was correct but at least this can give you an idea of the applicable halachos.
Hatzlacha with everything and Hashem should give you tremendous bracha for becoming a baal tshuva.
OP,
Don’t listen to the people that tell you that this is where you will find friends. That is not going to remedy the situation, it will temporarily relieve the pain, if anything. You need to look inside yourself and address the problem at the source. Why do you feel this way? Can you pinpoint things your family does that make you feel like you are second class? If you can, reach out to them and tell them how you feel – I guarantee it will strike a chord with your parents and they will realize that they have been doing something very destructive. Then with the backing of your parents, you will IY’H turn your life around very quickly. You sound like you are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you, please don’t give up on life. And don’t think that if you seek help you will just be put down more. Speak to a Rebbe, maybe speak to a professional, I am sure they will not put you down.
Hatzlacha Rabba.
Sam, I am assuming you mean after their own Brachos. I have never heard of that Minhag. It is possible I am mistaken but I have done extensive research on the difference between the Sefardi and Ashkenazi Minhagim on this subject. Hence, my earlier response.
Sam2, Sefardi Minhagim on answering Amen after their own brachos are not complex and do not contradict themselves. Everyone has the same shita on when to answer amen after your own bracha and that is when it is the end of a bracha in davening or bentching – thats it. The only difference is what we consider the end of a bracha. The only Brachos that Sefardim say Amen to that Ashkenazim do not are Hashkiveinu, and Yehalelucha if I am not mistaken. Oh and do Ashkenazim say Amen after Yishtabach? Because Sefardim do.
Although Baal HaBOOZE has the appropriate name to answer this question, I have to respectfully disagree with part of his quote. Whisky (or whiskey in the English/Irish/etc. spelling) includes all different types of whisky – including scotch, bourbon, rye etc. Whisky is the general term. Besides that, I agree.
Working on it,
I don’t want to say I know what you’re going through because nobody ever fully understands someone else’s issues but I can say that I went through a very rough time in my marriage that lasted two of the three years I am married. Baruch Hashem, we were able to get through it and we are very happy now. I was at a point where I had no doubt I was going to get divorced and I almost can’t believe I am here saying that we got through it.
The reason I am saying all of this is because I want you to know that Hashem is always there for you and has your best interests in mind. You’re going through a rough patch and that’s what Hashem wants but he does NOT want you to give up. I always quote my Rebbe from my yeshiva in Eretz Yisrael who said “if people knew how hard their second marriage would be, they would never end their first one.” As someone posted before, getting remarried and being happy may be harder than fixing your present marriage.
What I can suggest and what worked for my wife and I was speaking to a Rebbe who is an expert in the area. Regular professional therapy was expensive and did not work. When you speak to someone who is a gadol in torah and has tremendous yiras shomayim, you automatically tend to listen to him. The therapy with him did not cost anything and provided us with one of the most valuable things anyone can ask for – a happy marriage. I would never say it came without work – it was a lot of work on both of our parts but now I always say, you can always stay married to anyone as long as you are both willing to work on it. You just both have to be adults and have the ability to admit your faults and work on them because I promise you both of you have faults. It’s not just her and it’s not just you.
I really hope this helps you and I just want to say that we are all sharing in your pain and hope that it will turn out for the best. Hatzlacha Raba and may Hashem help you in this tremendous Nisayon.