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I don’t usually drink orange juice (too many calories…) but it is the best thing to break a fast on. Its sugary and sweet, and after the first sip, you almost forget that you fasted the whole day. It’s good because its not fizzy like soda, and it tastes more natural also!
Orange juice, water, bagel with tuna, cream cheese or scrambled eggs.
If you seriously think that by giving your kids free access to the internet, you are showing them that you trust them, and all will be well, you are sticking your head into the sand. Do you know what is going on out there? Kids from good, frum families are going off the derech because they had access to unfiltered internet. Don’t tell me that they would have found a way to go off either way. By giving them internet in the comfort of their own home, you are inviting them to stray. It is true, they may go to friends houses or the library if there is no internet in your home, but at least it is not so accessible to them!
Kids crave boundaries and stability. They test the rules to see what they could get away with, but if there are no rules, they feel lost. Having filtered internet or no internet at all is not telling your kids that you don’t trust them. It is showing them that you are a family that listens to the words of the gedolim, because they know better than us. If you think that by going against the psak of the gedolim, you are giving your children a feeling of trust, you are sorely mistaken and I feel very sorry for you.
we only use premium… cuz we’re snobs
I was wondering the same thing- except I am not a high school girl anymore! I have an old ipod nano, which I just use for songs, but an ipod touch opens a whole new arena of possibilities… I am trying to decide if it is something that is inappropriate for a frum girl.
Any ideas?
chances are you already knew that they were domineering, judgmental and obnoxious. Why else would they only allow their sons to go out if they personally screen his dates for him?
mytake-
I believe that they do consider the girl they marry to be pretty, but if her looks go against every preconceived notion of what pretty is, most likely he is attracted to her inner beauty, which may be reflected as chein on the outside. Again, this probably goes back to his upbringing on what is considered pretty. Is it external, physical looks or the inner beauty that is shining through?
“What happens if after you meet the parents, you decide you don’t want to meet the boy? :)”
If you agreed to put yourself through all that (meeting the parents) chances are that you are pretty motivated to meet the guy.
There are plenty of girls who get engaged who are not super pretty, or maybe not pretty at all, and even (gasp) overweight.
When I see these shidduchim, I applaud the boy and his parents, who obviously did a superb job raising him to look at the important things in life.
I’m available, just for the record!
Its funny, though I post in the CR, I can’t imagine marrying someone who does. Do regular run of the mill 23-26 year old bochurim post in the CR?
apushtayid-
You are actually not far off. Some of my friends had to meet the boys parents before the first date! Talk about intimidating!
Sacrilege-
welcome back- haven’t seen you around in a while!
apushtayid-
I dont think that the boys even know half of what their mothers are doing.
Seriously.
I have been asked for a picture by mothers of boys who are not even in the country now!
zeeskite-
Many yeshivish boys do not “officially” propose, and especially not on one knee- way to goyish!
popa-
are you trying to make sense?
apushtayid-
believe me, I totally agree with you! But when I am redt to a really good boy that I think I would have a lot in common with and his mother asks for a picture, what am I supposed to do? Drop the shidduch altogether? If it was the boy asking for the picture I would not be interested, but most times its the mother. Having a crazy mother in law is not a reason to say no to a shidduch IMO.
a black dress sounds pretty safe to me, unless it is super funky or something.
People always look different in real life than in their picture. That is why I find this picture thing so frustrating! And if a person is super photogenic and look better in the picture than in real life, does that help anyone?
cshapiro-
actually I don’t think I am ugly at all, I am just really not photogenic, which seems to be a crime nowadays worthy of keeping a girl dateless!
I really dont think that its the boys who are requesting the picture- its the mother!
People want know know why there is a shidduch crisis? Its because the boys’ mothers become psychotic when it comes to their sons dating. They make unreasonable demands, and expect a potential daughter in law to have all the maalos possible (Looks, money, education, personality…) And the sad part is that they actually have the power to demand all of these things, because they have a list of girls from here to Timbuktu that they can choose from. Mind you, they are the same people who are crying about the crisis when it comes to their daughters shidduchim!
You didn’t say in your post where you are going to college. Are you staying out of town or are you going to college in NY? If you are coming to NY you could maybe try Ohr Hachaim or Landers both in Queens.
individual-
You are so right. Most people look way better in real life than in a picture. I would way rather the boy’s mother come “scout me out” by a wedding than make judgments on me based on a picture.
Its not only shadchanim who ask for a picture of the girl. I have been asked for a picture directly from the boys mother- and then what are you supposed to do? If you don’t give a picture, it seems as if there is something to hide, and if you do give a picture and don’t look like a supermodel, they will say no. So its a no win situation. When I hear that the mother wants a picture, in my mind the shidduch is closed.
There are great wholesale sources that you could find online- but beware of scams and only purchase from a company that has a brick and mortar store/warehouse as well. But note that in order to buy from the legitimate wholesalers you will require a valid tax id.
Good luck!
I think you are a little late. Most seminaries sent out their acceptance letters already.
Yes, I live in the area, and there was hatzalah and police all over the place.
Is your Special Ed teacher a psychologist? If she is, shouldn’t she be teaching psychology and not special ed, which are two very different fields?
I’m sorry for the misinformation
in my mind R, S and Kings Highway are all the same
The Bikur Cholim in Brooklyn is on McDonald Ave and Ave R or S
cshapiro
This shows you the importance of a good sevivah (which is another whole topic)
But now that you find yourself in that situation, you have to work doubly as hard to keep/regain your sensitivity.
At least when you are not at work you should associate yourself with people who dress the right way, and you definitely should not expose yourself to the secular media (videos, magazines) because if you compare yourselves to them, even the most untzniusdike skirt will seem very modest!
The more you are exposed to something, the less sensitivity you have towards it.
For example, when I came home from seminary in E”Y I was flabbergasted at the lengths of girls skirts back in America. Everywhere I went I saw people wearing short skirts and I just couldn’t understand it.
Now, a few years after sem, it does not bother me as much. I try to keep my knees covered at all times, but my sensitivity has definitely lessened.
The first time I wore a skirt that was shorter than I was used to, I was conscious of it the whole day and it made me very uncomfortable. The more I wore the skirt, the more comfortable I became, until I barely noticed it at all.
It will be very hard for you to gain a sensitivity toward something when you are still amongst it. You have to take a step back, and only then can you build a sensitivity. Take the plunge now, even if you don’t feel it, and the sensitivity will come later.
I did not find anything glorious about my teen years.
As I was going through it I was content enough, but looking back I can’t believe how restricting it was.
Even though I am in the dreaded stage of shidduchim now, I still find it better than highschool
bygirl93-
I completely agree with you!
No one is forcing you to go out. if you can’t afford the going rate either stay home or take the kids with you (which seems to be the new fashion at many weddings that I attended recently.)
Like in most shidduch cases, a girl with diabetes is in a different boat than a boy with diabetes.
It is so hard for any girl to get dates nowadays, I can only imagine how much harder it is for girls with diabetes.
On the other hand, boys usually have lists as tall as them (actually probably taller, since I find that frum boys are usually pretty short!) A boy with diabtetes may just have a shorter list, but I am sure they still get dates.
canine-
“Syrians DO accept geirim who converted outside their community”
That statement is actually false. Syrians do not accept any geirim, no matter who converted them.
TBT-
you are right. Although many Syrians living in America today are not religious, the assimilation rate is far lower than that of Ashkenazi Jews. That’s a fact.
I would never have the guts to say this, but Rav Avigdor Miller says that there would not be a divorce if both sides have good middos.
(Obviously this is not talking about abusive relationships.)
Yeah Starbucks is way better than DD!
It has way more snob appeal- and the coffee is better!
Maybe I’m a little thick, but I dont get my new subtitle?
Does anyone else?
pretty funny- but not in the haha way
Hey I want one also!!
Please??
“people told me its okay cause mesiras nefesh :)))”
I am assuming that you mean sakanas nefashos?
hey Sac- you can add it to your shidduch resume! Now that should help!
I think its because in an beis avel they dont wear shoes
I hope its just a minhag or superstition, because I never wear shoes or slippers in the house! Second I’m in the door, the shoes come off
As long as people are normal about it, its fine.
When it starts taking over your life, you know you have a problem. Watching and rooting is fine, idolizing is not.
And making your wife a football widow is also taking it a bit far.
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck
Mod 80-
care to share any of the reasons? It would help in understanding why some posts get through and not others
deiyezooger-
for clarification purposes: I was commenting on something that Sacrilege posted about someone she dated who leined and was mechalel shabbos.
I was not saying that someone who read secular books is mechalel shabbos! (if I did then I would be guilty of it as well)
BTW- when I was in seminary I went to someone for shabbos who did not read anything at all on shabbos besides for divrei torah and the like. Forget about secular- they wouldn’t even read a birthday card that was sent to one of the kids. (true story)
have a nice inexpensive Sunday outing with your kids and go to the beach and feed the ducks!
Sacrilege-
wow! That is a really strange story!
I cannot imagine why someone who leins and spends time poring over the torah, would willingly be mechalel shabbos!
lucky that he chose to tell this to you beforehand…
people put themselves down so that other people should bring them up. everyone craves attention, and this is one way of getting it.
for example: if I say I am fat, hopefully others will come to my defense and say no your really not fat at all. See the logic?
Health-
are you serious?
I think the reason that eating disorders crop up in seminary is because the girls are away from home, and there is no one watching over them to make sure they are eating.
Its obviously the girls who had this tendency before seminary, but in seminary they have the opportunity to come out. No one is sitting down at the table with you and seeing if you are eating. You could come back to the dorm at 10 at night, and no one has to know were you were or what you ate.