potpie

I think that there is a college in Chicago (maybe TI) that offers a program similar to the Touro Israel Option and may not require that you attend the college upon your return from Israel. I’m not sure of all the details, but it’s definitely worth checking it out.

Can I please have a subtitle? Thank you.

Does anyone know Bnos Sarah’s dress code? What color sweaters are you allowed to wear?

Thank you.

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello , and not too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on…

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, ‘Who’s on First?’ might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO : Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO : No, the name’s Lou

ABBOTT : Your computer?

COSTELLO : I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou .

ABBOTT : What about Windows?

COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO : I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT : Wallpaper.

COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT : Software for Windows?

COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT : Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT : I just did.

COSTELLO : You just did what?

ABBOTT : Recommend something.

COSTELLO : You recommended something ?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO : For my office?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT : Office

.

COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT : Word.

COSTELLO : What word?

ABBOTT : Word in Office.

COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

COSTELLO : I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO : That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT : Money.

COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT : It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO : What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT : Money.

COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT : One copy.

COSTELLO : Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT : Click on ‘START’……….

ConfusedTatty, how does your daughter like Machon Raaya? How are the girls, work, etc.?

I agree with squeak. I don’t think it would be nice to do.

The CR has been quite busy today; just bringing this thread back to the main page. Please answer the question that I posted above!

Two comments, first of all, the CR seems quite busy today. Yesterday there were threads that were 3 days old, and today all of the threads are less than a day old!

Second, is it just me, or did the number of links to CR threads at the top of the CR main page shrink? I feel like there are less links than there used to be, which might account for comment number one.

Thanks so much for making YWN load much faster now!

Which seminaries emphasize hashkafah in addition to being academic?

An Arab guy needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need arises.

Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries.

Finally, a Jewish man was located who had the same blood type and who was willing to donate his blood to the Arab guy.

After the surgery, the Arab guy sent the Jewish man a thank you card for giving his blood along with an expensive diamond and a new Rolls Royce car as a token of his appreciation.

Unfortunately, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery once again.

His doctors called the Jewish man, who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Jewish man a thank you card and a box of Almond Roca sweets.

The Jewish man was shocked to see that this time the Arab did not acknowledge his kind gesture in the same way as he had done the first time.

So he phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not a very generous manner.

The Arab man replied :

“Ya habibi !!,

I have Jewish blood now, remember..!?

Should I take 66? I guess I just did! Round of applause everyone! D a and HIE didn’t even have to ask!

Oops, I added wrong! 16 cents!

How about Queens? Anyone?

You can apply to Youth Corp online by visitting the website:

application.nycsyep.com

However, the application is not yet available.

To see an impoortant notice regarding Youth Corp this summer, visit:

http://www.nyc.gov/html/dycd/html/jobs/summer_youth_employment.shtml

da, what camp do you work in?

2) a pillow

LAer, she took a picture of her husband.

The Wally Test

1. Write your name in the square provided.

2. Take two apples from five apples. How many do you have?

3. Do they have a Fourth of July in England?

4. If you had only one match and entered a dark room containing an oil lamp, a

newspaper, and some kindling wood, what would you light first?

5. A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many did he have left?

6. How many animals of each species did Moses take into the Ark?

7. A plane full of English tourists flies from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France.

Where should the survivors be buried?

8. If a redhouse is made of red wood and a whitehouse is made of white wood, what

is a greenhouse made of?

9. If Mr. Jones’ peacock laid an egg in Mr. Brown=s garden, who is the rightful

owner of the egg?

10. Mrs. Taylor’s bungalow is decorated entirely in pink. Her lamps, wall, carpets,

and ceilings are all pink. What color are her stairs?

11. If you drive a bus with 42 people on board from Boston to Washington, D.C.,

and drop off 3 people at each of six stops and pick up 4 people at half the stops,

when you arrive at Washington 10 hours later what is the driver’s name?

12. Write this down as one number: 15 thousand, 15 hundred and 15.

13. What do Kermit the frog and Attila the Hun have in common?

14. What do you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?

15. How many times can you take 3 from 25?

Following that first paragraph’s unusual quality, this solution too will carry on (up to a point) without utilizing a common trait that is found in a vast majority of writing. And just what is this limitation? What is prohibiting both paragraphs from having just an ordinary status? If you could not find a solution by now, you should quit and go on to that third paragraph.

The letter ‘E’ is not used in either of those paragraphs !! It is the most common letter in the English language ! It is so common that the letter ‘E’ was used 14 times just in the previous 2 sentences ! Yes it is quite difficult to write anything intelligible for any length of time without using an ‘E’. The letter ‘E’ appears in very common words – ‘the’ ‘there’ ‘he’ ‘she’ ‘we’ and so on. How about trying to express anything in the past tense? Just about everything in the past tense ends in ‘ed’.

As an interesting bit of trivia, the American author, Ernest Vincent Wright, wrote a novel entitled “Gadsby”. In that entire novel of about 50,000 words, the letter ‘E’ does not appear at all!

Congratulations to Laer who figured it out!

Italicized text

bold

oomis1105, I verified the story with truthandfiction.com, and while it said that the email contained an exaggerated version, the basic idea was true, so I didn’t bother removing the exaggerated parts. Anyway, the important part is the message, not the details.

This is not an April Fool’s prank. Your job is to find out why this ordinary-looking paragraph is so unusual. At first, it looks fairly common and unimportant. It’s just a plain insignificant paragraph right? No – not at all. Don’t think that this has a ‘trick’ solution, but don’t think you will find an instant solution. No luck on your first try? Try again. In fact, you could look at this for a third, fourth or fifth try and probably still not hit upon what it is that puts this paragraph in a class all its own (or almost). Only a small handful of paragraphs (if that) can lay claim to this paragraph’s particular curious trait. You could look at this again and again and still not know how unusual it is.

anon for this: There is another ending for your joke. It goes like this:

This guy is listening to a group of people chatting and laughing. They are enjoying themselves so much that he listen in and realizes that they aren’t having an actual conversation. Instead, one person calls out “number 9” and everyone laughs, then as soon as they stop laughing another person calls out “number 32” and they all crack up again. So the guy asks one of the group what’s going on, and he says, “We’re such old friends that we already know each others jokes, so we just refer to them by number instead of telling the whole joke.”

Suddenly one man calls out “77” and everyone starts laughing as if there is no tomorrow. The eavesdropper turns to someone in the group, and asks, why is everyone laughing so hard at this joke? The member replies, “dis one? dis one we haven’t heard yet.”

Five (5) lessons about the way we treat people..

1 – First Important Lesson – Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor

gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student

and had breezed through the questions until I read

the last one:

“What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?”

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the

cleaning woman several times. She was tall,

dark-haired and in her 50’s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question

blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if

the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

“Absolutely, ” said the professor. “In your careers,

you will meet many people. All are significant. They

deserve your attention and care, even if all you do

is smile and say “hello.”

I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her

name was Dorothy.

2. – Second Important Lesson – Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American

woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway

trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had

broken down and she desperately needed a ride.

Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

A young white man stopped to help her, generally

unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960’s. The man

took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his

address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a

knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a

giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A

special note was attached.

It read:

“Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway

the other night. The rain drenched not only my

clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.

Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying

husband’s bedside just before he passed away… God

bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving

others.”

Sincerely,

Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 – Third Important Lesson – Always remember those

who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,

a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and

sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in

front of him.

“How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked.

“Fifty cents,” replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and

studied the coins in it.

“Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the

waitress was growing impatient.

” Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

“I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on

the table and walked away The boy finished the ice

cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress

came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the

table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,

were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had

to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 – Fourth Important Lesson. – The obstacle in Our Path..

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a

roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if

anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the

king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by

and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the

King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did

anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of

vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the

peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the

stone to the side of the road. After much pushing

and straining, he finally succeeded. After the

peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed

a purse lying in the road where the boulder had

been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note

from the King indicating that the gold was for the

person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The

peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve

our condition.

5 – Fifth Important Lesson – Giving When it Counts…

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a

hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who

was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only

chance of recovery appeared to be a blood

transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had

miraculously survived the same disease and had

developed the antibodies needed to combat the

illness. The doctor explained the situation to her

little brother, and asked the little boy if he would

be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a

deep breath and saying, “Yes I’ll do it if it will save

her.” As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed

next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing

the color returning to her cheek. Then his face

grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a

trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away”.

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the

doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his

sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Most importantly……………… “Work like you

don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been

hurt, and dance like you do when nobody’s watching.”

Confused Tatty, what seminary did your daughter decide on in the end?

Th disadvantage of leasing a car is that by the time your 3 year lease is up, you have basically paid the car’s purchase price, and you don’t get to keep the car. Which is why I recommend buying a car over leasing one. However, if you’re the type of person who likes to constantly have the latest car model, leasing may be the way to go.