popa_bar_abba

The sheer number of 22+ year old girls waiting (either at home or in an apartment with roommates) for the phone to ring.

Do you mean the excess of girls waiting over boys?

Its amazing that its come to the point where working is considered less desireable than taking from Tzdekah and a Gemach

You mean like shevet levi always did?

It’s amazing that you’ve been posting here for years and still are amazed that we think it is appropriate to be supported by the community so that you can learn, and that it is appropriate for the community to support you.

I’m a corporation.

Sorry, they don’t exist. It doesn’t cost any money to be in yeshiva when you are single. If you have no money, you canree tuition and dorm, and a small tutoring or leining type job can cover your shoes, shirts, and beer.

Oomis: I’m not aware that there is any dearth of singles events. There are tons of them. And they aren’t all expensive, although some are somewhat obnoxiously expensive.

But more to the point–what is the big maala of singles events over shadchanim? Because you met them once before you asked them out? I’ve been to a singles event. All the guys want to go out with the pretty girl.

To answer your questions re hotel lounges.

1. IS there no secular music playing(I thought that was a no-no for the more right-wing among us). Some have music. I don’t recall it being worse than starbucks. Often it is classical.

2. no smoking. It is illegal to smoke in hotel lounges anywhere I’ve gone on a date (never been to Abu Dhabi). And many yeshivish guys smoke themselves.

3. no non-Jewish people on dates there who are drinking alcoholic beverages and possibly acting even just a little bit in ways that could make frum people feel uncomfortable? I literally cannot recall ever seeing that in a hotel lounge on a date. I have seen that in other places in the world, sometimes on dates, but I cannot recall it ever on a date.

The airport: Also has music, also doesn’t have smoking, also has couples doing what couples do, and has drinking in fact (in larger quantities than hotel lounges)–and is a very nonclassy place to take a date.

Do your sons a favor and tell them to go to the Waldorf Astoria and sit on the couches near the flower bouquet, instead of going to the airport and sitting on a bench in arrivals. If you’re not sure, why don’t you go to the Waldorf one night, sit on the couches, and see for yourself. The flowers are very pretty–I think they get new ones every day.

I hardly think I’m saying something novel.

It’s pretty irresponsible to get married having no idea how you’ll pay your rent and buy groceries.

Are you (and Popa) saying that someone who can’t support themselves (and their parents are also unwilling/unable) should only marry someone who can support them? Even if the girl has all maalos, and would be a good match, she should be rejected due to the size (or rather lack thereof) of daddy’s bank account??

I am saying that.

Uptight is the right word. I certainly don’t advocate going to poolhalls, but neither do I like the traditional lounge date. What kind of place is that for frum kids? Do you have any idea how much pritzus goes on in hotels, starting at the bar?

Ok, so please elaborate on how and where you think they should be meeting that would replace the shadchan.

Also, you’ve made this point before about hotel lounges. I don’t think you are very familiar with hotel lounges though, since your description is fortunately not at all accurate. I am very familiar, I have, shall we say, been in quite a number of them, on quite a number of occasions.

Did “she” and “her” exist in English in 1787?

“Anyone who has a question should raise his hand. Notwithstanding anything to the contrary, the usage of any pronouns are, to the extent the context requires, used in the generic form rather than the gender specific form.”

Problem solved. In a much better way.

Seriously, nobody is saying that the generic person is a man. There just has to be a generic form, and somebody I don’t know when started using the male form.

Maybe the english language used to have only a male form which was used for everybody (and naturally wasn’t male or female then), and then a female form was added but they kept the male form for generic use. I don’t know. Notice that English doesn’t have gender specific plural forms but other languages (hebrew) do. It’s a linguistic fluke. What’s the difference?

Why does this itch you so bad? Do you think men care that aircraft carriers and fighter jets are all female? I can tell you that it has never once occurred to me to care. (Although I tend to agree that Corollas are female.)

When someone says, “if anyone has a question, he should raise his hand” to a mixed audience–you assume he only means men should raise their hands? No. So what’s the issue?

And do you assume that my question in the previous paragraph is only asked by a man? No.

Because what you really are doing is creating yourself a god according to your will.

So just be honest and say, “?????? ???? ??????”.

Yup, that about sums it up.

Well, that’s a stupid tradition.

Instead of thinking of “he” as meaning male, think of it as meaning: male or unknown.

Makes sense to me. It is less bulky to choose one of the pronouns to use in unknown cases than to make a separate pronoun.

The free for all that oomis proposes is also very impractical. How much time do you want everyone to be spending socializing so that they can find all these people to date, in addition to dating them?

“…I, along with Rabbi Aaron Kotler of Lakewood, did an exact study on the average length of time it takes for a bochur to get engaged, once he enters shidduchim. The average time is approximately ten months.

Average is worthless without knowing the standard deviation.

And he doesn’t have that, because he didn’t do an “exact study”–he is just guesstimating. Hagah atzmecha, if he did an exact study, why is he giving the results in approximation?

pants on fire hanging from a telephone wire.

I have a sticker with the Wolf’s name, and phone number. I figure if I lose it I’ll just call him every day.

Money, money, and looks. Enough money can buy looks, and enough looks can buy money.

Zdad:

Errr, what? Those two things have to do with one another? Or have you just written off the entire frum community because of one thing you disagree with?

Me too

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/im-in-salt-lake-city

A gender wage gap exists, even for the same exact jobs. One study estimates that women doing the exact same work as men (same job, same hours) get 90% of the salary. May not seem like much but it adds up to a lot.

I see. One study. You’d think that in all the studying that has been done on this topic, you would be able to cite more than one study.

How about you post the name of that study, and I’ll tell you all the problems with it.

But I’ll start by noting that you say “same job, same hours.” Ok, how about same education and experience?

And what defines “same job”?

And what does same hours mean? Are we talking about jobs where you punch the clock out at 5PM, or about jobs where people put in extra time even if they have the “same hours”?

And are we talking about commission based jobs?

Sorry, I ain’t buying it. If women were being systematically underpaid, some bright dude would hire up all the talent at a regular salary instead of paying it to men who are less talented. In my job–the women are paid precisely the same amount as the men, even though they work less (take off longer for having babies). In your job are women paid less?

And in all events, that 90% number you’re quoting is much higher than the 83 or whatever that the feminists usually quote. So there’s already a lie going on.

Feminism is just a word, which people can define however they want.

No it isn’t. It is a word, and has a meaning. Just like other words.

You shouldn’t use words to define yourself if you don’t want to be associated with their normal meaning.

Popa, there is not equal pay. There is a real gender pay gap. Not in every single job, but on average.

Amazing. So then all you need to do is assume that men and women are equally distributed among high and low paying professions, and there you have a proven disparity!

Let me re-phrase my question somewhat. To those people who listen to only “Jewish” music, how can you tell? What distinguishes it from “non-Jewish” music?

You know, just because I can’t give you an all encompassing definition, doesn’t mean I am not able to recognize it as a practical matter in a sufficient way.

I can’t define stainless steel either, but I know what it is.

And I certainly can’t define obscenity, but I know it when Justice Stewart sees it.