Forum Replies Created
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Posts
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oomis:
If that is to be accepted as proof, I have stories which show the opposite. Let’s agree that we accept tefilla on information and belief.
Kangaroo Leasing and Marketing
How do you know it is not true?
Maybe the common ancestor was human. Maybe they are all descended from Odom. Who says humans can’t evolve into animals?
Its goal oriented. You are basically interviewing the person for the job of spouse.
You seem to think spouse is a job. A business arrangement. You clean the house and give birth, and I’ll make money or learn.
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It is obvious to me that the emotions which G-d provided us are meant to be used.
Parents don’t love their children by chance, and neither do men love women by chance.
I suppose you think it is all part of the yetzer hara and a real tzaddik has no emotion.
smartteen:
With no offense to the other posters, I don’t think the standard advice for improving kavana will be helpful in your situation. Do you?
I think you need to deal with the reason why you don’t want to daven. You say that for many years you were in a hard situation and you felt as if G-d was not responding to you, and you do not want to daven anymore because of that.
I find that very reasonable. If you feel that G-d abandoned you when you needed and relied on him, why should you want to extend yourself again to be shot down? (Please nobody respond how smartteen shouldn’t feel this way. smartteen needs to deal with how smartteen feels, not with how smartteen should feel.)
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Have these feelings extended to the rest of your avodas hashem also? If so, it certainly is not a problem with davening. Rather, davening is just a manifestation of your general feelings.
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You haven’t told us what the difficult situation was. If it was tension with or between your parents, it is quite normal for that to affect your relationship with G-d and with Judaism. If it was anything else, it still is quite normal, especially since difficulties often do affect the family dynamic.
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I wish you much luck. If you really do feel significantly disconnected with G-d and Judaism, you should find someone you can talk to about that.
Sacrilege:
While I agree it was wrong, I think killing him was a bit of an overreaction.
Sure, I’ll go to the mall with your great aunt.
To be exposed to the brilliant, insightful,and inspiring analyses of Popa.
(I didn’t misspell analysis, I made it plural- you flake!)
TzefatView:
If I though everyone I was dating was dull and opinionless, I would eventually conclude that I was not choosing from the correct cohort.
tzippi:
Shidduch dating runs on a continuum from beshows, to the 3-4 dates acceptable in Israel, the 6-8 acceptable in yeshivish Lakewood circles, the 10-12 acceptable in less yeshivish circles, to even a few months in some circles.
I don’t imagine that the same purposes are meant to be served by all these dating styles.
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In any event, in the dating style I am familiar with, the purpose is supposed to evaluate your ability to spend enjoyable “downtime” in each other’s company. This was stressed by the rebbeim who I follow.
WBC is known as a anti-homosexual group. It seems they have branched out into anti-semitism as well.
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I guess hate is hate. Haters don’t hate because of their targets; they hate, and look for targets to let their hatred out on.
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I do not condone nor support homosexual behavior. But neither do I hate them.
Similarly, I do not support Chabad’s actions, but I far from hate them.
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Boise:
Most of the commentators on this forum will be opposed to homosexual behavior, same-sex “marriage”, and increased official accommodation of such behaviors. I hope you will understand that we do not hate the people, even though we criticize their actions and do not wish to see their actions legitimized.
We will in turn understand if you think we should believe in your savior, as long as you don’t want to burn us at the stake for not so believing.
I don’t think that that kind of casual hanging out is productive. If you need to discuss something, phone calls should be ok, and if you need more time or face time then set something up.
I disagree. Married life is not about having serious hashkafa discussions. Most interaction with a spouse is just regular light interaction. I think it is important to find out if you enjoy one another’s company in the plain, day to day life, sense.
ie. If you like hanging out.
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Ok, this discussion is absurd since we obviously have different concepts of the purpose of dating, based on different social models. Any discussion which is not based on similar premises is pointless. (except a discussion of those premises, which would in turn be based on similar overarching premises.)
By then, they should have dropped the shadchan already, in which case she can call him and suggest whatever she wants.
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I DO care where this girl or boy went to do chessed for others.
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Chessed is for girls.
Popa’s take:
Everybody has their own obligations.
A parent’s obligation is to support the people who are moser nefesh to teach their children.
A rebbe’s obligation is to do what is best for his students. It is not best for his students to make them feel bad for their parents’ inability to pay.
Any school which feels it can only operate in this way should close down. Are you trying to help klal yisroel, or trying to secure yourself a job which doesn’t come with the guilt of leaving learning?
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Who was expecting that from me?
Yes, a friend of mine was on a date and the girl tripped. He reflexively put out his arm to catch her. So the lunatic girl maced him.
You stop responding the rest of the time. Seriously, if your friends get suspicious when you don’t answer a text for a few hours, it’s time to break your phone.
I once went out with a girl who had her hair in a very large bun. I didn’t think anything of it- until it started buzzing!
This story is as true as my Hungarian words.
Most do not bring a purse. If you are paranoid, stick 100 bucks in your shoe.
see chol hamoed guest.
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With accusations like that flying around, is it any wonder I want to get away from frum jews?
shouldn’tbeiniNigeria:
A. I always bring a minyan.
B. That may be a chumra.
C. I have heard in the name of a different rav that it is ok.
D. I don’t care. I would never vacation anywhere I might meet a frum jew. May as well stay home in South Dakota. (Mods: what happened to my who to vote for in South Dakota thread?) You’re posting from NWU, IL.
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(I know these responses are contradictory. Under Fed. R. Civ. P. 8d3, defenses may be inconsistent. How’d I know that?)
I’m confused. How does spending your whole day in Starbucks and at the mall help raise your kids?
egalitarian pluralistic modern western societal expectations
New YWN rule: nouns may have no more than 3 adjectives. The punishment for a second infraction is to be tied to a tree in the forest and left for the bears. (Or if you are Popa’s kid, nothing.)
My last 3 bein hazmanim trips:
Backpacking yellowstone and Grand Tetons, 9 days. 50,000 AA points and about $250. (Not including equipment purchased.)
Snowboarding in Salt lake city, 5 days pesach time. $1000, 20,000 marriott points, 4,000 starpoints.
Backpacking, hiking and fishing in Alaska, 12 days. $50,000 AA points, $700. (Not including equipment purchased.
All self financed.
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Road trips are for girls.
Really OP, let your kids do what they want. High school graduates are adults.
Did your parents stifle your wishes to become frum? If they did, do you think they were correct in doing so?
Nancy Pelosi supporters were saying, “A woman’s place is in the house- as speaker!”
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As if any woman would ever not be the speaker.
shouldn’t be here:
When you go to Nigeria, you need to know halacha yourself. I was backpacking once and I decided I could make hot water for my hot cocoa in a fleishig non- ben yomo pot. see Gra YD 95:10.
When you go to heaven, Hashem will say, “Did you see my Nigeria?” (Don’t answer, “All my money did”)
Fabie:
Huh?
The answer to his question was highly debatable in hashkafa.
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Although, my original response, to let them do what they want, is less so.
Oh wait, Hungarian ? I thought this thread was Nigerian .
ofli- cucumbers
lopin- couch
gitir- come
sdvel(?)- store
ghart- hear
binults- garbage
wellen- sugar
fotrik- fork
wottild- grandfather
sottild- grandmother
vottild- great uncle
grottild- great aunt
snottild- mother in law
frottild- father in law
WOW! Its only October and your thinking about June!!!
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I Hate when people assume that everyone lives in the northern hemisphere of planet earth.
Is that why Male & Female given the same age, the Male would have higher insurance rates?
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No. That is not why. Men have higher insurance rates because they tend to drive more, and are more aggressive. Imagine how low women’s insurance rates could be if they knew how to drive!
No. The ideal bochur knows road trips are a waste of time. You should sign up for credit cards and get miles so you can just fly somewhere.
It’s pretty obvious we’re talking about senior citizens.
smartcookie:
It’s spelled Nigeria.
Learning Torah al minat she-lo laasot is not learning.
This is learning for the purpose of avoiding one’s normal obligations.
This is learning for the purpose of avoiding interactions with other Jews who actually have to work.
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Why don’t you tell us exactly who you are accusing of learning al minas shelo laasos?
A safari in Kenya.
Josh:
Like learning Torah, and supporting the world?
pascha bchochma:
In Israel, even fruit is an issue. My friend was on an all male trip organized by a frum group. He was very surprised that the food was an issue. I would suggest anyone going on one of these trips inquire into the details of the kashrus.
Women:
What would your response be, if your husband, in the nicest way you can imagine, told you that it bothers him that you are overweight?
Single women:
What were your response be if a guy you were dating told you, in the nicest way you can imagine, that it would bother him if you gained much weight?
Sitting in learning as long as possible and expecting to be supported by a rich father in law is not a plan
-Unless one has a rich father in law.
charlie:
I didn’t think you were saying everybody had to. I was addressing people who do think that. Some people on this thread seem to think it is ok to advise a stranger that his kids must attend college.
You don’t need to make $100- 150k. Most men are not capable of making that much money. It is ok to work a normal job and tell your kids tuition committees to fly a kite.
I agree with you, I was just poking at how you almost made it sound as if going off the derech makes sense.
Doc:
Again, I’m pretty sure they encourage checking before the first meeting.
Also, if we assume the average cost of a first date (rental car, gas,tolls?, drinks) is about $75, it is not clear that it is more efficient to do the date.
The average cost of processing a request is pretty low. It does not usually involve additional testing, and if we assume they will both eventually call, the additional testing will be done anyway.
To complete the analysis, we would need to know the percentage of matches which are incompatible. I think it is pretty low, which helps your case- since most first dates will not be thus wasted.
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In any event, my experience is that not checking beforehand can lead to very needless stress, and also a ridiculous formality of “checking the numbers”. As I once told a girl, “When we have a relationship, I’m not going to express that by hinting, I’m going to say, ‘I like you, we have a relationship'”.
This happens to me every week. And not just in the bungalow colony.
Maybe your wife is cleaning on purpose. You should thank her yourself.
if i was a young child listening to goish music, was allowed to watch tv, etc… who would want to be frum??
If you work with the assumption that if kids know what is out there, they will want to go off the derech, that doesn’t say much for our derech. We are supposed to believe in what we do out of knowledge, not out of ignorance.
You are negligent if you do not check before the first meeting. Indeed, I believe that is what Dor Yeshorim encourages.
Dr Pepper: If you check before meeting, it eliminates the need for counseling by a rav.
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