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My vanity?
No, men don’t look for an attractive spouse for their vanity. Maybe ask the next guy you date.
There are basically two ways people handle this.
One way, and the way I endorse, is to always check before the first date. It takes only 3 minutes to call, and the answer is very specific- yes/no.
The other way is to wait until it is getting “serious”. People who endorse this say that there is no reason to check if it is not serious anyway.
I do not understand this.
Firstly, there is no reason to not check.
Secondly, you create a new ritual in the relationship called “checking dor yeshorim”. I think that is foolish, since relying on meaningless symobolism in the place of meaningful interaction is bad. If you feel close to her- tell her. Don’t hint it through absurd rituals.
If I date someone and I like her, I say, “I like you”. If you can’t communicate your feelings with words and meaningful actions, you don’t have a very honest relationship.
Thirdly, there is really no reason for anyone to ever have to go through the feelings of liking someone and being cut off because of dor yeshorim incompatibility.
Minhag hamokom is presumably a term of art, and has the meaning ascribed to it in the rabbinic literature, not the plain meaning.
So I have no idea what the parameters are, but I am leery of attempts to define it by people who have never studied it.
How much am I missing by not recognizing any of those names.
I wouldn’t have dated someone who is overweight for more important reasons than the health risks.
I thought that since you don’t recognize my other reasons, you would at least agree to the health risk issue, since you acknowledge it by smokers.
I think he’s nuts. But, we don’t know anything about her. If she is nuts also, matzuh min es mino
to
This question does not make any sense.
Even if there was perfect parity, there would be people who didn’t get married.
The numbers problem creates large numbers of women who remain unmarried in addition to the “normal” amount.
We’ll leave aside the fact that for quitters there is a several year period till the risks seem to abate, even while dieters can see health improvement immediately. Details don’t matter.
The ill effects of obesity do not evaporate when you lose weight. This is simply untrue.
If she nags you, (ex. drive this way, park there) drop her like a hot potato.
There is no reason to not check before the first date.
There is good reason to not go out at all before checking.
Check before the first date.
is there any reputable Rav in today’s world who says it is muttar to smoke?
Dayan Fisher said it was muttar. He was sufficiently in the modern era, long after the dangers were known.
I once totally made up a story and told it to the Satmar Rebbe. He saw right through it.
Did you believe that?
I lie more in real life. I don’t like to lie as much online.
I am really good at lying.
(There is an award for lying given every year by the University of Akron, but I never tried out for it.)
whatrutlkinabt:
Doesn’t sound nice? Forget that, it is even actually not nice.
I would smoke if I was able to tolerate it. It would be my personal protest against the crazy anti-smoking crusaders.
I disagree Goq. Certainly hakaras hatov should be without request, but it should at least be with request if you don’t do it otherwise.
You almost seem to be not willing to be makir tov even with request.
I hear the argument on health issues, but if you refuse to date a smoker because he smells, you better be a size 2 and smoking pretty, or I have no pity.
Here is a recipe for Haggis, which is sometimes eaten as an alternative to cannibalism as a last resort.
Ingredients
* 1 sheep stomach
* 1 sheep liver
* 1 sheep heart
* 1 sheep tongue
* 1/2 pound suet, minced
* 3 medium onions, minced
* 1/2 pound dry oats, toasted
* 1 teaspoon kosher salt
* 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
* 1 teaspoon dried ground herbs
Directions
Rinse the stomach thoroughly and soak overnight in cold salted water.
Rinse the liver, heart, and tongue. In a large pot of boiling, salted water, cook these parts over medium heat for 2 hours. Remove and mince. Remove any gristle or skin and discard.
In a large bowl, combine the minced liver, heart, tongue, suet, onions, and toasted oats. Season with salt, pepper, and dried herbs. Moisten with some of the cooking water so the mixture binds. Remove the stomach from the cold salted water and fill 2/3 with the mixture. Sew or tie the stomach closed. Use a turning fork to pierce the stomach several times. This will prevent the haggis from bursting.
In a large pot of boiling water, gently place the filled stomach, being careful not to splash. Cook over high heat for 3 hours.
Serve with mashed potatoes, if you serve it at all.
Let’s apply these arguments to other unhealthy habits.
Smoking is not nearly as unhealthy as being overweight, which is why being overweight should be a complete dealbreaker.
Overeating is a filthy disgusting and selfish habit. You are ruining your life and your kids lives when they lose their mother to heart disease.
The yeshivos and seminaries should teach that it is important to value life, and that one should never even consider someone overweight.
I do extensive research to find out if the person was ever overweight, and I make sure they are telling the truth.
Well, if you got BJJ hashkafos from your family, that is just as bad.
I am not advocating this as cheaper.
Cheaper is to go to the Brooklyn Marriott. Even cheaper is to not go out.
Really, one should take the Brooklyn bridge to the Holland tunnel, and go to the Hyatt on the other side. Or if it is raining, go a bit further to the Short Hills Hilton, which has free underground parking.
Are we really machmir on nailpolish?
It is anyway a miut v’eino makpid, so is only an issue of the Rema who holds any chatzitza is lechatchila no good.
I would have rather married someone fat than someone who just wants to stay home.
Well, if you are happier with chinese children starving to death so that you can feel moral in not poisoning them, so be it.
Doesn’t sound like something I would have done.
bein hasdorim:
Cool, double spaced. I didn’t read it because it made my head swim, but it is a good touch.
If you think it means that it makes “you” look edible, I think you are trying to make an absurd meaning out of it.
That meaning does not ring true, and really does not have any suggestive connotation.
Probably, the teacher generally thinks sheitel ads are not tznius, and therefore read a not tznius meaning into it.
I find this thread fascinating.
It seems the women are discomfited by having only a good relationship, and seeming like “only best friends”.
I think most guys would, like me, find this totally foreign. If I like her, it is in a romantic way. I have never experienced the feeling being described here, and never heard any guy say this.
Isn’t this cool?
I think most international flights still have free drinks.
Anyway, you should only be flying on miles you have for opening credit cards, and you may as well go first class.
Yes, what is in the undertone here?
What exactly do you think may have been meant by describing a sheitel as edible?
Time. Time heals all. Thats why Hash-m created shikchah.
Also so the poor people could have more food.
He was a king. He had officers who were in charge of all sorts of functions.
I am sure there were some good career opportunities.
It was definitely a typo, since it does not make any sense.
They would write anything to sell, but this would not sell- it has no meaning, neither crude nor prude.
Best thing to do is get rip roaring drunk on the free drinks. Then, nothing else matters.
This is an especially good idea if you are traveling with kids.
(Although, many would object to saying “good idea” in the same sentence as “traveling with kids”.)
It depends if your feelings are healthy or unhealthy.
It is normal and healthy to continue to have feelings for someone you had a relationship with. Probably, these feelings should lessen with time, and with your having other relationships.
These feelings probably will be stronger when you are alone, or when you are reminded of them.
If you are creating obsessions, that may be a different issue.
Can I have a position in your administration?
Why is the class discussing some typo in a random advertisement?
Get a civic lx
depends if you are a man or a woman
I have never heard a guy say anything along these lines at all.
oomis:
Every lounge I have been to is nice, classy, deserted, and you could no more pick up women than rats.
Especially since dollar bills are not single.
A single is a dollar bill.
So they should have said “Single as in a dollar bill”, but that would make no sense.
email.
other email.
YWN
drudge report
Popa! That was way over the top.
One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation.
-Oscar Wilde
questions-when-checking-out-a-boy
How come girls can check out the boy, but when guys check out the girl everyone complains?