popa_bar_abba

Interesting. So you think singles are using hardship as an excuse to get out of doing mitzvos.

That’s quite a negative and harsh view. And not very realistic.

And there is a selfishness and a “me” orientation with single males.

No there isn’t. That is simply baseless.

Let me pose you a question: What if you are wrong? What if you are penina and you are hurting people who are already very hurt, for no good reason? (And you ain’t no penina, she was a tzadeikes who made one error.)

cherrybim:

Thank you for agreeing, but I actually meant the opposite.

I meant that singles have a hard enough time in the real world being considered kids and not taken seriously because they are single. I would have imagined that online where they can be anything they want, they wouldn’t want to identify as single and meet the same prejudices.

If men bore children they’d be back at the office that afternoon. It would be an outpatient procedure, and the epidural would have never been invented.

Heh. We’ll never know, will we?

Along with all the other things that annoy me about the fat people discussion, here is a new one:

Don’t tell me what is average size for whose height and whose build.

It’s like Justice Stewart said about pornography; “I know it when I see it.”

Guys don’t ask a girl what her dress size is and then decide if she’s attractive. They go out with her and decide if they are attractive. One of the things which heavily influences their perception is weight.

(And I know maybe they ask beforehand. But that is just trying to get an idea of if it is a good idea. And it is certainly the best way to quantify weight.)

We all know the concept of giving away our own bed for a guest, but if the neighbor next door has an empty room to offer is it a mitzvah for us to sleep on the floor and give our bed away?

You just sparked a rant:

I am very against people who give up their kids beds for a guest.

You think you are teaching chessed. But, chessed is when you give up from yourself for others; you are teaching to give up from someone else for others.

If you want to teach chessed, give up your own bed.

Why do you say it is not Orthodox? The faculty are shomer mitzvot, with Orthodox semichah.

I don’t know enough about YCT to say much about them. However, the fact that they are shomrei mitzvot and have semicha from Orthodox institutions does not really prove much.

JTS’s faculty used to also be shomrei mitzvot, and had Orthodox semicha, and even included such scholars as Saul Lieberman. Yet- nobody debates that they were clearly not Orthodox, and clearly did not represent Judaism.

Take the girls up to YU. Lots of available single males, all shomrei torah umitzvos.

What makes anyone think that YU guys want to marry yeshivish girls?

Personally, I would rather be single than marry my parents’ choice. So if Joseph were correct, I would still stay the course.

In an earlier time heavier women were considered more attractive

Also because back then size 2 was considered fat.

Size 2?? I’m a size 38!

I just wanted a change. I do that with items in my wardrobe from time to time.

There is no major theological shift that caused it.

In that case, I choose: g- It means nothing.

Note that this is different than e. e is that yarmulkes never make a difference. I think they do; I think people use them as a way of identifying themselves. You say you are not, I believe you.

Wearing a Cubs hat may not make you a Cubs fan, but it’s fair to assume a stranger in a Cubs hat is a Cubs fan.

Happiest:

Certainly, one can see differences on a brain scan. But the question is which is the cause and which is the result. Does the issue cause the chemicals or do the chemicals cause the issue?

They also point to the fact that medication helps. Yet, we all know that tylenol helps a headache, but would anyone say that headaches are caused by deficiency of tylenol? Besides, the medications don’t help quite as much as we are promised, do they?

As far as traumas- not every trauma is so big. In fact, the big ones (losing parent, abuse) people usually get support for. It is the little things (parent having inflexible expectations, showing disappointment for normal failures) that are the most likely to be harmful.

I am posting a link to a speech I listened to about this. I hope the mods will let it through. It was presented at a Nefesh conference by a leading frum psychologist, and is based all on research journals. It is the one called: Chemical Imbalance or Meaningful Behavior?. http://drsorotzkin.com/audiolectures.html

Klach: It seems I am much more knowledgeable about them (Rabbi T and Rabbi SY and Rabbi G) than you are. I happen to be quite familiar with them (brother has been there for 13 years, best friend has been there for 11). They do indeed refer many talmidim to therapists, I even know which therapists they refer to.

I also know that CC has a full time psychologist on staff, who also happens to be a serious talmid chochom. Yes, he is on staff, they pay him to stay.

sheini: My point is that if they are referring people to therapists, it shows they recognize that they are not experts and cannot handle real situations.

Also, of course one must be careful to go to a frum therapist who will not cause harm to their frumkeit. And it is a very fine idea to ask your rav for a referral.

To my understanding, Rav Avigdor Miller Z”L, who was looked upon and frequented by all types Litvish,Chassidish,Modern,Heimish, etc., did not approve of therapists.

I do not know anything of Rabbi Miller besides what is quoted on this website.

But I do not approve of anything I have seen quoted in his name.

Interesting. I would say that less than a third of all families have a daughter over 25 at all.

So if this is true, it means that every family which has a daughter over 25 has at least one single daughter.

Fascinating.

always:

Is it possible that she might have understood what you were saying as a criticism of her chosen way of life?

I would say most people would greatly benefit from seeing a Rov or RY.

I don’t mean to say that people wouldn’t benefit from having a rav. But if you are relying on a rav for emotional support beyond what you would expect from a friend or mentor, I think you should rethink that. They simply do not have the training or expertise, and don’t even know when they are over their head.

Poppa Bar Abba: Based on what are you assuming that I know nothing about the 12 step program?

Because if you did you would know that it has nothing to do with this thread and wouldn’t have brought it up.

Which is older, CC Monsey or CC Queens? And what is the relationship between the two?

They’re married. Welcome to NY.

Kind of like the 12 step program, but they have 2 more at the end.

This is what PAA was talkng about.

PAA was talking about the 12 step program? What does he know about it?

Since when is a Torah institution controlled by the money men rather than by the Torah men??

Since Herod remodeled the beis hamikdosh and built himself a huge building on the har habayis next to the beis hamikdosh to entertain in.

Do the R”Y’s disagree with each other on basic things?

Posting on YW is basic?