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What’s wrong with grape juice?
It isn’t intoxicating.
(Seriously though, wondering if a guy has a drinking problem because he orders a glass of wine is like wondering if he has an eating disorder because he passes on dessert.)
However you explain them to yourself.
The Friday night after my daughter was born, I had a nice party in my house. I served beer, chickpeas, cookies, cake, and other nosh. There were sodas for people who didn’t want alcohol. I got many mazal tovs from friends and neighbors and nobody had any issues with what I was doing.
Excellent. We’ve got a real person to discuss it with.
Feif: Why did you do that? It seems like you deliberately imitated what people do for a boy.
Did you just happen to think that chick peas and beer were the most festive thing you could serve?
Maybe you just happen to enjoy eating chick peas so much. They’re not very expensive-you should eat them more often if you do.
I personally like having a nice kiddush with scotch, shmaltz herring, and cholent with kishke. Maybe that’s why I do that?
Weren’t you trying to give your daughter a measure of parity with boys? Maybe you felt that this would ensure that you valued her as much as you do your boys? Maybe you felt it would help other people realize that girls are as valuable as boys?
Or maybe I’m totally missing the reason. Why don’t you tell us.
Popa- I just realized your comment to me. I have no problem with any poster here making me feel dumb, and you have a lot of Chutzpah.
I do have a lot of chutzpah.
I don’t understand the rest of your post. And you may believe that I’m not refraining from posting what happened to protect your feelings- it is because it is a sensitive topic.
You could visit someone we don’t mention anymore.
We’re afraid they would come home drunk and beat their husbands.
We fought the chanuka wars to avoid having to go to the Gymnasium, and now you davka want to go just for vanity.
4. In addition, a M’challel Shabbos causes any (non-M’vushal) wine he touches to become forbidden. As a result, I am not allowed to drink (non-M’vushal) wine, since the very act of picking it up causes it to become forbidden.
This reminds me of when I was at a presentation on the halachos of being mafrish terumah and maaser, and the presenter was saying how if you don’t have a siddur, you can say, “I am being mafrish like it says to in the Artscroll siddur.” But, he quoted from someone that if you do that when you have a siddur, then you are an am haaretz.
So I wondered, if you are an am haaretz, then your food is d’mai. So then you still can’t eat it.
Nu, what did you do?
DY: Thank you. That is the point precisely.
popa: In other words, your objection is not that it’s an innovation but that you don’t like it.
Yes. And I don’t like it for two (or more) reasons: (A) it is being innovated for a treif reason, (B) the innovators are being idiots in not deferring to much greater authorities.
Fair enough. I have nothing to say to that. In your own words “now we’re just spouting boych svaros and I like my boych.” 🙂
Do you really have nothing to say to that? Do you personally think that they are motivated by something aside from feminism?
There are empirical studies you could do which would cast light on this, you know.
You might wonder what other areas they have innovated in. If they are mostly feminist areas, that would be telling.
You might wonder whether they are generally more excited about making parties to thank Hashem for chassadim. For example, if these people are also making parties and saying tehillim at them when they get a job, or graduate college, or whatever, that would be telling also.
Itche:
I don’t know what this practice entails, and I don’t own several old siddurim.
I only know that Weiss and his kookoos are not motivated by a desire to reinstate old minhagim, but by a desire to make Judaism fit into their notions of morality and values. And that is treifer than chazir. (Because it doesn’t even have split hooves.*)
*Actually, chazir is more treif than other meat, specifically because it has split hooves. I forgot where I saw this (I think a rishon on the page), that being closer to tahor actually makes it more tamei.
Perhaps we can say they are exactly like chazir, since they hold up their “split hooves” in the form of old siddurim or the Rambam or other sources, and try to pretend that they are motivated by proper hashkafa.
I think a BAR MITZVAH as practiced today is also a Post WW II American institution.
Highly likely. And in more yeshivish circles, you will find that it is much more played down.
The main point to be made about that, is that people who make fancy bar mitzvas are not doing it as a statement against chazal.
Diced chicken (just throw a couple of chicken breasts in oven for a few minutes) over a bed of baby spinach, tomatoes, and mushrooms, dressed with lowfat mayonnaise, lemon juice, salt pepper garlic.
Today, the YWN Coffee Room has hit 300,000 comments.
Your thoughts?
We make 300k comments, and all you can ask for is more thoughts?
RSRH:
You are making good cynical comments, but you simply are not correct.
The argument made by liberal Judaism is that since girls are in every respect as valuable as boys, it does not make sense to have more significant rituals at the birth of a boy than a girl. The fact that chazal did not institute any such rituals merely proves to them that chazal were also prejudiced against women.
It is this argument which is driving Weiss and his followers to institute parallel rituals.
And I can tell you that Rav Hirsch, whom you pretend to follow, did not agree with them. They (and apparently you) think that Rav Hirsch was also one of those backward rabbis who didn’t respect women. This is necessarily the case, since Rav Hirsch did not institute this ritual which they create.
But go ahead. Continue faulting people for making a definitive recognition of the religious significance of the birth of their daughter. Denigrate them for acknowledging God’s role in their lives and the future life of their daughter, not just in vague thought, but in definite speech and action.
I denigrate them for creating ritual where chazal did not. I denigrate them for their accusations that chazal were backwards chauvinists.
I denigrate them for not following today’s gedolim also. And with the full knowledge that there is no sanhedrin, that merely means that their status is “idiot” instead of “heretic.” Well, idiot is not really much better than heretic.
I don’t understand. Doesn’t the Shulchan Aruch say that you make a Shehechiyanu when you have a baby girl? Doesn’t that mean that it’s a happy time worthy of celebration? It might not have been done in the past, but there shouldn’t be anything wrong with happy parents being happy, should there?
Correct. And they should feel happy. And they might even wish to throw a grand royal banquet.
They have done differently though. They have made it into a religious ritual. Or, you might say, an ?? ??? ??? ?? ??? ????. They probably won’t be smitten by a fire from the Heavens. We are not really worthy of that today.
Pathetic.
Sounds to me like the parents feel as if traditional Judaism doesn’t value women enough. How very sad that they think that way. Maybe if they had gotten a better Jewish education, they would understand.
A shadchan should be willing to respect your wishes. If they aren’t, you should tell them to stop calling you.
Once my host told me that they don’t change the sheets between guests. After I had already come and was stuck there.
I slept in my clothes, used my towel as a pillow, and whenever I was having trouble sleeping, got up and spat in the cholent (it was yontiff- no bishul issues.)
Bowwow:
In the event you are not joking, I shall add myself to the critics, and say that you would probably be doing your guests a better service by just not having them over.
Most people I know find that pretty disgusting.
I usually strip the sheets. And take them with me.
kfb: The whole mod 80/popa thing was a joke.
I don’t see anything wrong with what I’m doing, and I’m not going to stop unless someone convinces me. If the mods want to ban me, they can do that. If the threaten to ban me, I might or might not stop.
drinking n driving is a no go, umless it’s coffee flavoured beer:P!!!!
Sam Adams has one. It tastes interesting.
Google “Sam Adams Black and Brew”.
I killed elvis.
I tend to have more sympathy for the retarded things people do when they’re in pain.
Where everyone dresses as if they are Klei Kodesh
Seems to me that this was really part of chassidus. They wanted to underscore their opinion that one can be a good jew without being a talmid chochom. So they all dress like good jews.
Did I make that up?
Hakatan: and going to Yeshiva does not require a more fine mode of dress?
More fine than what?
As long as you acknowledge there is any situation in the world which requires a finer mode of dress than what you wear to yeshiva, you will have your question, and need to answer that there is an adequate mode of dress which is less than the absolute finest.
If shirt Color is meaningless, why not wear Color shirts on Shabbos?
If pants length is meaningless, why not wear pants that are 5 feet long?
I usually burn it, and let them deal with their insurance.
“Isn’t the 1950’s when everybody in America was wearing hats?
Why are you making things up?”
They were not Yeshivish Black Hats.
You mean they weren’t fedora’s in the style common today in the yeshiva world?
Well, styles do evolve over 60 years, and that isn’t strange. Brims get bigger and smaller; ribbons get higher, pinches get deeper.
There are styles in the yeshiva world. Hat styles are the most unique, since they are unique to our world.
Imaofthree:
I doubt they want girls dating their high school students.
“Of course. I don’t care if someone doesn’t wear teffilin or have a bris. As long as they feel close to G-d on the inside.”
Isn’t that pretty much true for all the girls you’ve dated?
No, they weren’t all pretty, much. I don’t know why you assume they were.
“When to buy 1st black hat?”
When you get your first appointment as a Rosh Yeshivah.
<That was the custom in the 1950s.>
Isn’t the 1950’s when everybody in America was wearing hats?
Why are you making things up?
Depends what you think mesorah means.
If you think it means to literally do exactly everything your rebbe did, then no.
If you think it means to do what your rebbe would have done, then it depends on what you think your rebbe would have done.
(Enjoy the outhouse.)
Makes sense to me.
It is one thing for them to do in in kew gardens hills.
It is quite something else to do it in Brooklyn. If it was affecting the community’s perception of them, I imagine that is why they changed it.
He should wear one if he wants to associate with the community that wears one.
Typically, he will wear one way before he should.
I’m almost 4, but I’ve only been posting for about 1 and a half.
I think you misread the question. OP is asking what he can tell the shadchan, where he is one of the potential couple, and wants to end the shidduch.
The answer is you cannot tell anything, you should just say no. The fact that the shadchan will think you are a bozo, is not a toeles.
“We should be much more concerned about whats on the inside than whats on the outside”
Of course. I don’t care if someone doesn’t wear teffilin or have a bris. As long as they feel close to G-d on the inside.
You are all a bunch of tramps and gold miners.
(In other words, the old popa is back.)
And since when does wearing jeans, even if they are “sand blasted” a sign of a tramp?…
Denim was originally made popular during the gold rush…
Precisely, jeans are gold mining clothes and gold miners are tramps.
Gold miners are tramps because they are not engaged in producing any value for the world, and are only stealing from the rest of us.
See, gold is money. When someone mines gold, he is just adding more money to the world, which makes our money worth less. Gold mining is essentially no different than printing dollars in your basement.
We should put them all in prison, gold miners, jeans wearers, Wall Street Occupiers, counterfeiters, and all.
Charlie Brown: Thank you for picking up on that.
You misunderstand. I don’t mean to remove blame from the perpetrator. On the contrary, it is worse since s/he takes advantage of a vulnerable kid.