Very excited for all of you that you’re going to have the incredible experience of going to really special seminaries!

Just a reminder that you’re still on the Internet, where halachos of shemiras halashon definitely apply, and ANYONE can read what you’re saying. Also, most people take what they read at face value, so though you definitely wouldn’t want to cause any harm, please be careful of how you say things.

What exactly about this system is going to motivate someone, especially a girl, to be part of it?

I wouldn’t be surprised if girls, especially older girls/girls who society deems “undesirable,” just leave this system and go to more modern circles. They may not get the “best boy in yeshiva” but at least they have a chance of being part of a society that respects who they are, and marry someone who respects them as a person, not as a checkbook, family tree, or Barbie doll…..

I’m not one for giving advice, especially because I don’t know you or your situation, but it sounds like this is something that is really giving you agmas nefesh, and there’s no reason to push off improving your quality of life. (Even if it’ll be easier in EY, why make this a focal point of your sem year?) I don’t think I need to tell you this though ;), especially based on your last sentence which sounds like you really want to be proactive….

About who to tell…

If you asked me personally, I’d vote for teacher, but that’s just because I don’t like keeping things so close and I usually prefer involving as few people as possible. I don’t know you. However, if you discuss it with a teacher (not necessarily your actual issues, but just the issue of wanting therapy) you feel you could trust and would be mature about it, and would have the ability/resources to help you, that could be a great option because it would give you an additional bonus as an adult mentor who is sometimes just nice to bounce things off of. I’m sure there are other bonuses that you could think of as well….

As for a friend’s mother, if you have such a relationship with her and feel that she would do a good job of explaining, especially if she knows your mother and her personality well, I see how that could be a great option as well. Again, I’m sure you can think of other reasons that I wouldn’t know….

I wish I could give you a definitive answer either way. I think it’s really awesome that you’re trying to figure things out, and I give you a lot of credit – it takes a lot of strength!

Hatzlacha!

(Keep in mind that everyone will recommend “their” seminary as the one that TOTALLY fits you :))

That being said, your choices sound pretty good.

Side by side, Seminar is not as academic as MR and Michlala, Meor seems to attract more of an in-town crowd (that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it depends on the person), Michlala is different from the rest because it doesn’t call itself Bais Yaakov (though it shares teachers with the other BY schools). I don’t know so much about Ateres.

I think Machon Raaya would be a great choice because it is a Bais Yaakov, yet would allow you to find your own place within the “mold”. Michlala also has great BY-type girls, who are coming from a similar background as you, yet because it’s so large, there really is a huge range – personally, I was coming from a similar sitch, and it really helped to be in an actual BY where some things I wanted for myself were not even a question anymore.

Hope this helps, let me know if you have any more questions!

countryyossi.com

Click on “Radio” for more info. I think you can get archives and listen live (I’m listening to one now :))

thanks to everyone who posted! would you be able to add which sem (or general idea) you went to, since space, dress codes, etc, are diff in all the sems…thanks! 🙂

Google updated gmail yesterday – the look, functionality, efficiency, etc. – so it’s possible that they closed it for a bit. Are you still having issues?

<i>Wheres their own motivation to do whats right? </i>

Apparently they’re not getting that motivation…maybe it’s time to change the attitudes we use when teaching tznius. Because according to the “contemporary BY system”, girls are supposed to have as many kids as she can, raise the kids (chas v’shalom a woman should ask her husband for help in the house!), take care of the house (ditto), support her husband and family (chas v’shalom a man should help with that in any way, including with babysitting!), and of course, restrict HERSELF because of the MEN’S taivos. For many teenagers going through the system, they feel, what’s in it for me? Is it any surprise that they’re trying to push out in any way they can??? I agree with many of the posters here, I think it’s time to rethink the attitudes we give girls towards tznius. Personally, my tznius growth came with a growth in self-respect. Suddenly, I could cover more yet maintain my self and personality. I think many girls could benefit from a lesson in this way…

paschab – Somehow I don’t think this is wasting his time…his day job is going from school to school and giving rational explanations for Torah and yiddishekeit. He also speaks with teens and parents, helping them with such issues as you’re describing…It’s k’dai to try, if he doesn’t have time or whatever, he’ll at least try to guide you in the right directions…

Here’s his number and email (taken from the Project Chazon website): 718-648-4555 X16 or [email protected]

hatzlacha!

okthen – from my experience, the best think you can do is LISTEN. If they start coming to you about the things they are doing wrong, it’s totally pointless to lecture – they KNOW it’s wrong, and usually they care plenty, but the pain is blocking their logic, and sometimes, teens just want some attention, so they do something that will shock others (note: this is NOT always the case). You don’t have to know what to say – very often, a person doesn’t want an answer; rather, they just want to be heard and accepted. Don’t try to fix things (unless you specifically have the power to change something), don’t try to “refrum” them, ultimately, the person themselves has to reach a point where they feel comfortable enough with themselves and their life to reaccept the various boundaries of yiddishkeit. At the same time, don’t encourage their behavior. Talking about their level in yiddishkeit comes much much later with a very close MUTUALLY respectful relationship. Very often, these teens don’t feel much respect from their family, school, etc, so they rebel to show they “don’t care” – they usually care very much, but don’t always respect themselves, so the greatest gift you can give them with your friendship is your RESPECT…

wow I have a lot more to say, but I’d like to hear some feedback first…

pascha – Yes, I think that is more the xian view: I think the whole idea of “burning” and G-d wroughting His wrath on humankind is DEFINITELY very xian. Hashem loves us, and His punishments are not REVENGE but rather a process for US to become better and closer to Him. At the end of the day, Hashem wants us to have the closest, cleanest, relationship with Him in Gan Eden, and He makes us go through the process of peeling off our layers to truly cleanse ourselves from within and without.

I hope this helps and will B”N try to find you a source. I do agree with d a that you should try to find a rav for her to speak with. There are many who are experienced with answering people’s questions, and it is worthwhile to speak to one – not just so she can find her answers, but also so that you have a strong backbone to help your friend in general.

In the appropriate years: birchas hachama

I really like what I’ve seen so far…ease of conversations, etc. And it’s pretty cool to be able to see what the person’s typing as they’re doing it. However, I hope when they release the full version, it’ll be integrated with your email, since I currently don’t use it much since it’s annoying to have another window open.

I once helped out with one of these women’s films, and I distinctly remember them having to refilm some parts since the rebbetzins who had watched it had some issues with things (such as dress)…

I’m not speaking for all films, but I assume most do have some sort of authorities okaying things…

“Businesses Love Windows 7…”

…so does plaid

Not the first line, but close enough 🙂

Ask the phone company if it’s possible to set up the account that he can only send x amount of texts and then no more – because even if a person has 200 texts, once they hit 200, they can keep texting – it’ll just cost you more money

On 7?

Drag it down to the bottom, and it’ll give you the option. If not, right click it and see if it has the option.

However, in the lower right hand corner of your screen (next to the time) is a little rectangle that shows your desktop (preview if you roll over, totally closes everything if you click it)

I have 7 – it’s much much better than Vista IMHO!

My advice: wait a bit till new 7 computers prices go down a bit before buying one, since it’s still relatively new.

“1- When Jews dont make Kiddish

The Goyim make Havdalah”

I believe this came from R’ Chaim of Volozhin.

*counting on fingers…*

:)He got off lucky!

😉

If you are using a band/one man band, they probably know what songs are typically played, acc to the crowd etc.