Hello Dear broken Heimishe heart,
I have 2 comments:
First, your coming out, taking time to post and vent inner emotional feelings is something GOOD you did. Take the advice and courage the people here post.
Second, your belief in what that Mekubal said, is something very WRONG. Because that means that you don’t believe that HaShem is a KOL YOCHEL!
Join a Chasidishe shul, make a Lechaim – life will shine!
P.S.