payingattention

This problem stems from somewhere. Here is how it can easily escalate.

Scenario:

A young, frum couple (let’s say relatively with-it) live in a neighborhood with several others in their age group and their ‘type’. The wife dresses well. She is stylish, her skirts are just below the knee, fitted and her jewelry and shaitel are always well-chosen. Some might call her trendy.

She’s friendly with another woman, about her age and type. Her friend is also a stylish dresser. Her shoes always match and she wears cute tops. This friend isn’t as slim or pretty, though.

When they chat, sometimes their husbands are with them. The two men talk mostly to each other but might exchange a word or two (to be polite) with the women.

Woman B (the second one) is concerned. What is she worried about? That maybe her husband doesn’t find HER as attractive as she believes her friend is. If these friends hang around each other more, and they invite eachother over for shalosh seudos or a barbecue, Woman B becomes increasingly worried that compared to her friend, she’s less attractive in her husband’s eyes. This might be a total illusion. But this will easily compel her to dress at least as ‘sharp’ as her friend in an effort to maintain her position as an ‘attractive’ woman.

Think about it – it’s all very subconscious, but Woman B can’t afford to ‘tone things down’ with the makeup, the slimming tighter skirt and Lycra top. Her very marriage is at stake. This is what she believes.

What about the men? Honestly, I don’t know how the men can allow their wives to carry on like this, but peer pressure is powerful.

Don’t think that because I’m not wearing short skirts and tighter tops (yes, they are more slimming) that it’s not hard for me. I would like to. But, b’H my husband actually tells me if something is too short or tight. He’s really normal, but he knows how he wants his wife out in the streets. No one needs to know your measurements, ladies.