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Where’s that from?
The original quote is from Berachos 3b, explaining how King David knew when chatzos was:
??? ????? ??? ??? ???? ?? ??? ?? ????? ?”? ????? ????? ???? ??? ???? ????? ????? ?? ??? ????? ????? ???? ???? ?? ??? ?????? ?????? ?? ????? ????? ??? ??? ???? ????? ????? ?? ???? ???? ????
Well if nothing else, you gave me a good way to end my story, without having to make myself win or lose.
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/creative-writing-cr-users-in-real-life#post-541101
Randomex:
I wasn’t sure if anyone would get the reference. Good job.
My answer to the prefect question (I don’t think I posted it before) is that Percy couldn’t actually take away points but either he thought he could or more likely he was bluffing.
Two possibilities:
1) I recite “The Road Not Taken” thrice daily (or more).
2) Precisely because I recite Ashrei thrice daily, I don’t know it so well. But actually, as it would pertain to my experiment, this wouldn’t makea difference because even if I know Ashrei incorrectly, it is still something that doesn’t require active thought.
I can’t believe that I left Sam2 out of all three of my stories. So here is a story just about him:
Sam2 was once talking to someone. He said “lulei d’mistafina, I would say that what you’re doing is an issur d’oraisa of chukas akum/darchei emori”. [Insert causal loop.]
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/what-should-a-rebbe-do#post-542748
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/proposing#post-492311
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/celebrating-a-sports-team#post-524017
etc.
Yekke2:
I didn’t want to post this in the middle of an intense theological discussion, so here it is: Why do you think I’m not a parselmouth?
Randomex:
If I recall correctly, back in the day Coffee Addict’s subtitle was “once killed a troll with his bare hands” or something like that.
Randomex:
I read “It is simply the means to the end which is undesireable, namely murder” as referring back to the previous statement. Apparently it was its own statement. A small misunderstanding.
Narrated by Patur Aval Assur:
I was strolling down the street, whistling a somber tune, and minding my own business when I walked right into a pole. Why, you might ask was there a pole in the middle of the street? Well there actually wasn’t. Being so absorbed in my ruminations I had lost track of where I was going and I had apparently wandered into some strange place where there was nothing to be seen other than the aforementioned pole. Once I was there anyway, I decided to take a closer look at the pole and I noticed that there was a flyer on the pole. The flyer said: The Coffee Room Convention in LA – Keynote Address to be delivered by Randomex, entitled “Perfunctory Points Pertaining to the Personality of Past and Present Posters, and Particularly the Plethora of Presumptuous, Pretentious, and Provocative Posts of Patur Aval Assur”. “Oho”, said I to myself; I should probably check this thing out. So off I went to the Coffee Room Convention in LA.
The trouble started a mere half hour into the flight. Someone had figured out that the entire membership of the Coffee Room was on this flight and he decided to hijack the plane. We were brought to an uninhabited island, and the hijacker flew off, leaving us behind. People immediately started introducing themselves to one another, and let me tell you, there were quite a few shockers. I mean, who would have thought that Vayoel Moshe would be wearing Israeli Flag cuff-links. Well actually, I wasn’t so surprised, because as R’ Rakeffet is wont to say “You can’t be a Zionist until you’ve gone through all of Vayoel Moshe”. But I digress. I was hanging around watching everyone interacting, but I couldn’t help wondering what the purpose of this hijacking was. The hijacker had summarily abandoned us and it didn’t seem like he was coming back anytime soon. My first thought was that this was a ploy by Randomex who had not yet written his speech and was stalling for time. But when I suggested this, Cozimjewish promptly said that she knows Randomex and when he doesn’t respond, it’s not because he needs more time, but because he is ignoring.
A few others threw out some theories. One of the better ones was suggested by Lamud Vov Tzadik – that we needed to all be gathered together in this auspicious place to perform an important Kabbalistic ritual. This caused a fight to erupt about whether this place was the right place, or if perhaps Uman would be better. It was resolved when Ivory pointed out that no one had thought to bring along their Rav, so we wouldn’t be able to perform the ritual anyway.
????? ???? a tremendous cacophony was heard. We all looked up and behold the Primordial Joseph was approaching from afar. Defeating him was going to require a team effort. The problem was that he had several hundred heads. Yekke2 came up with a brilliant idea. “Just play him a bit of music and he’ll fall straight to sleep.” Letakein Girl turned to Eftachbchinor and said “Quickly, get your harp!”. Eftach responded that she doesn’t play the harp (yet). “It matters not”, I responded. “???? ??? ???? ????? ????? ????? ?????.” So we were able to defeat Joseph. Except as it turned out, Joseph was just a projection, not really there. Meanwhile we began to hear a ticking noise but nobody was able to locate its origin. Finally, LittleFroggie shouted “I’ve found the source of the ticking! It’s a pipe bomb!”
There could be only one conclusion: This was a conspiracy by the Moderators. But their bomb didn’t work because it had no subtitle.
“Theory: a moderator (not this one) tried writing ????, but it came out as ????, so immediately changed it. -100”
Why would the moderator write “genai” in Hebrew but not write “baki” in Hebrew?
Because we are not as medakdek as JKR.
Translation of the second part:
R’ Chanina Bar Popa was his [The Angel of Death as per Rashi] comrade. When he was to die, they said to the Angel of Death “go do his will”. He went to him and showed [himself] to him. He [R’ Chanina Bar Popa] said to him “leave me 30 days until I review my learning for they say ‘fortunate is the one who comes to here and his learning is in his hand'”. He left him. After 30 days he [the Angel of Death] went [and] he showed [himself] to him. He [R’ Chanina Bar Popa] said to him “give me your knife lest you frighten me on the way”. He said to him “You want to do to me as your friend [did to me]?” He said to him “Bring me a Torah Scroll and show me if there is anything written in it which I did not fulfill”. He said to him “Did you attach yourself with the Ba’alei Raasan [the people who had the disease that was mentioned in the previous story] and engage in Torah study?” And even so, when he died, a pillar of fire separated between him and the world, and we have a tradition that a fire only separates for one or two [people] in a generation. R’ Alexandri drew close to it [and] he said “do it [i.e. remove the fire] on account of the honor of the sages”. He disregarded him. “Do it on account of the honor of your father.” He disregarded him. “Do it on account of your own honor.” It departed.
Randomex:
I don’t understand the question.
So I did some further experimentation. I tried playing a song while saying something that I ostensibly know really well, namely Ashrei (although actually I’m not sure if I know Ashrei any better than “The Road Not Taken”), and was unable to do so. Then I tried reciting “Patur Aval Assur” which is presumably even simpler, also to no avail, and finally I moved on to just repeating a simple monosyllabic word and I still couldn’t do it (unless I put the word to the song). So I think my hypothesis still stands.
Real translation:
(The context was a discussion about people with a certain disease.)
R’ Yehoshua Ben Levi would attach [himself to] them and engage in Torah study, saying “‘a beloved hind inspiring favor’, if it bestows favor upon those who learn it, will it not protect them?”
When he [R’ Yehoshua Ben Levi] was to die they said to the Angel of Death “Go and do his will”. He [the Angel of Death] went and appeared to him. He [R’ Yehoshua Ben Levi] said to him “show me my place”. He said to him “ok”. He [R’ Yehoshua Ben Levi] said to him “give me your knife lest you frighten me on the way”. He gave it to him. When they got there he lifted him and showed [his place to] him. He [R’ Yehoshua Ben Levi] leaped [and] he fell to the other side. He [the Angel of Death] grabbed him by the corner of his cloak. He [R’ Yehoshua Ben Levi] said “I swear that I will not come”. The Holy One Blessed Be He said “If he [had previously] abandoned [i.e. annulled] oath
then let him go back; if not then let him not go back”. He [the Angel of Death] said to him “give me my knife”. He would not give it to him. A Divine Voice went forth [and said] “give it to him for it is necessary for the creatures”. Eliyahu announced in front of him “vacate a place for the son of Levi, vacate a place for the son of Levi”. He went [and] he found R’ Shimon Ben Yochai who was sitting on 13 stools of gold. He [R’ Shimon Ben Yochai said to him “You are the son of Levi?”. He said “yes”. “Was a rainbow seen in your days?” He said “yes”. “If so, you are not the son of Levi”. But [in fact] it was not so – there was nothing [i.e. no rainbow], but he thought “I will not assign goodness to myself”.That’s the first half. The second half is a different story which I will hopefully translate soon.
I actually shlugged myself up miney ubey in my last post.
Randomex:
I was under the impression that you didn’t like that logic.
Yekke2:
Fair question. (By the way I assume that when you wrote “the means to the end” you meant the opposite.)
If I may venture into what may very well be ??????? ?? ???:
Perhaps the quest for immortality is not inherently good or bad. It depends why you want to conquer death. Someone who wants to conquer death for the proper reasons (whatever they might be) would not so via horcruxes since it involves murder. Perforce, one who makes horcruxes is attempting to conquer death for the wrong reasons which is indeed something which should not be spoken of. Dumbledore, though he didn’t use horcruxes, knew himself that he was doing it for the wrong reasons, hence he was no better than Voldemort.
I realize this is a tremendously dochek answer and it doesn’t even really explain why a horcrux would be the “wickedest of magical inventions”. However, despite the fact that creating a horcrux would not be inherently any worse than any other ways of conquering death, it could still make sense that “we shall not speak nor give direction”, in that the assumption is that generally speaking, the creation of a horcrux is the only practical way to conquer death (i.e. anyone can do it), so by censoring he instruction manual, you can effectively prevent almost everyone from conquering death.
ari-free:
Interesting point which can be a discussion in its own right. But for the purposes of this thread let’s assume that a woman has a father/husband who can be her Rebbe.
Randomex, did you see the retraction I issued?
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/good-jokes/page/34#post-542147
Toi:
I was actually thinking of bringing that up, so now that you did, allow me to disagree with you. I don’t think the person’s response has to do with the person’s gender; it has to do with whether the person has experience learning gemara. Those who have experience have already been programmed to ask not those types of questions. Those who don’t have experience haven’t been programmed. In fact if you would teach that gemara to fifth grade boys (or in whichever grade they start learning gemara) I would be surprised if nobody asked that question. Actually, I would think that they are not thinking if they didn’t ask that question.
(For those who are wondering what in the world this is about, see:
Some sources which I’ve quoted previously:
Piskei Riaz SotahPerek 1 Halacha 2:
??”? ???? ???? ????? ?? ????? ???? ??? ??’ ?????? ???? ?? ????? ??? ?? ??????? ?? ??? ????? ????? ???? ?????? ??????? ??????? ?????’ ?
Piskei Riaz SotahPerek 1 Halacha 2:
????? ???? ????? ?? ?????? ???? ??? ???? ?? ??? ???? ??? ???? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ??
Maharil Teshuvos Chadashos siman 45:
??? ???? ?? ????? ??????? ???? ????? ????? ??? ??? ????? ????? ???? ???? ????”? ????? ????? ????? ?? ??? ????? ??? ????’ ????? ????? ???? ???? ?? ??? ????? ?????? ????? ???? ??? ??? ????? ????? ?? ?? ??? ????? ???? ????? ???? ?????? ????
Perisha Y.D. 246:
??? ?? ???? ????? ??? ????? ????? ????? ???? ??? ???? ??? ?? ??? ?????? ???? ?? ???? ????? ?? ????? ????? ?????? ????? ???? ??? ??? ???? ???? ????? ?????? ????? ????? ????? ???? ?? ??? ???? ???? ?? ?????
Randomex:
So our whole interaction started when you made this joke:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/good-jokes/page/32#post-535269 and I pointed out that it was at odds with a different version of the joke that had previously been posted:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/mixed-gym#post-455405
Well I have to retract my objection because it turns out that there was another version of the joke already posted:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/worst-joke-contest/page/3#post-334455 , by the same person, which accords with neither of the two other versions, and thus that poster’s versions lose their credibility.