Pashuteh Yid

TMB, I am a bit surprised, because on the TV thread, you seemed very shocked when I mentioned that the Chareidi leadership in the USA was not exactly pro-college, and yet here you yourself post a letter from Reb Moshe that shows Chareidi leaders were against college? What gives?

Correction: I meant Reb Shmuel ended second seder at 8 pm at night to prevent talmidim from going to college.

Have some ventilation when a stove will be left on for extended periods like over a long yontof.

Lmayseh there has to be a strong emotional feeling of simcha and not being able to wait to see the person you are going out with. You should look forward to each date with great excitement. If you are feeling blah about it, that is not the right one.

However, if the simcha and meshicha are there, and there are external issues like which town to live in, or something like that, then that is a normal part of marriage, and you must try to reach an understanding or a compromise. That is no reason to break a shidduch unless it is absolutely impossible to work out. Like one is in a top college on the East Coast with no other program available, and the other can’t leave the West Coast for urgent reasons or similar.

Is Reb Yaakov going to go to gehenom because he watched the moon-landing? Will the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation go to gehenom because they show videos on Tisha B’av. It is not television per se that is the problem, but the culture that one may absorb if one is not careful. Same with walking down the streets of NYC. I do not recommend watching bimbo shows, or say that relaxing in front of a TV every night for 5 hours is proper. However, to deny that there are very valuable educational uses for a TV every so often, or even to give a child a treat for getting good marks, and let him watch a world series or super bowl (without commercials) is also incorrect in my eyes. Not all of us follow the hashkafa that everything in the outside world is treif.

Many of the Rabbonim cited in that list hold that all college (or even high school in EY) is assur and that the Medinah is treif, etc. It is a particular hashkafa that works for some people, and many of those in the list are the proponents of it. But there are many Rabbonim who feel otherwise, and do not hold that everything in the outside world is bad, rather, there are positive things that the non-Jewish or non-religious world has accomplished that we can benefit from.

Mods, I think you may have to ban Wolf from this site. He is laining at night, now. I mean how much can we righteous people take?

Shev, that is ironic, because even though I let my kids occasionally watch a major sporting event, they know that we shut off the set during all commercials. They are often far worse than any shows.

TNB, on the face if it, that simplistic explanation may make sense. However, once you factor in the age gap and countless other factors that nobody understands, the math changes totally.

MW13 and Klach, you both seem to ignore my point that internet is just as bad, (if not far worse) than TV. So what is the mayleh of forbidding TV if you have to get your news from internet?

Wolf, that is yet another reason why you are going straight to gehennom. (Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.)

RuffRuff, it is true that you will find a wide array of hashkafa issues on the net. Yes, the pure yeshivish hashkafa which I grew up with was very warm, and I sometimes long for the days when I thought along those lines. Everything was very rosy. Yet, I don’t think it is the internet which changes people’s thinking. It is very difficult life experiences that do. In addition, some of the behavior of kannaim which I began to read about in the last few years, as the frum news sites came into being made me simply nauseous. No need to repeat the various stories here, but there were probably close to half a dozen, including the dibbuk fiasco, etc. If the people who think that way can act so repulsively, then it requires a rethinking of one’s hashkafa.

While I used to take every medrash 100% literally, one is led then to believe that the world of Chazal was extremely supernatural, with sheidim and all kinds of miracles happening on a regular basis. (There is an aggadeta about the nachash and Chava, and another about snakes chasing women for carnal purposes.) That presents the problem then, that since I have never experienced those things, nor has anybody else here, to the best of my knowledge, that the gemara would then be chas veshalom irrelevant, since our world runs according to the laws of nature. (Of course to a maamin, that is the biggest miracle.) So, if in the days of Chazal the world was completely different and supernatural, then how does Chazal’s advice benefit us, who don’t have those experiences ever? It is therefore sometimes better for us to view the world of Chazal as being natural, just like ours, not supernatural. They excelled, because they persevered with the same nisyonos as we have and faced the same challenges. They were able to sit and learn despite it all, and one can see their scholarship and dedication to learning in their words and ability to quote and ask a kashya from anywhere. I.e., they had Shas on their fingertips without CD ROMS.

In addition, the Rambam who says sheidim do not exist is not only offering an opinion on an interpretation of an aggedata, he is saying that he personally never saw one, either. (If he did, he never would have written that.) He is making a statement on the metzius of his time. Now, he lived only 750 years after the close of the Talmud. In his time, therefore, the world was probably like ours. So even the Rishonim lived in a natural, not a supernatural world. That leads one to believe it was the same way in the time of the gemara, too. So the gemaras about sheidim were probably meshalim for deeper concepts, but not meant to be taken literally. Of course, this is not the Yeshivishe hashkafa, which says that these aggadetas are all to be taken literally, exactly as they say.

Another problematic area is Kabbala. The Yeshivishe hashkafa says that the mekubalim have deep and secret knowledge of how Hashem runs the world and how to predict the future and intercede in the mysteries of hashgacha pratis to change the outcome. But many of these people have been shown to be fraudulent, or simply to be unable to produce results that differ in any way from what one would expect in the natural course of events. And if one asks to be shown a proof or explanation of how they arrived at their conclusion, one will invariably be told that he is a nothing, and can’t possibly fathom the wisdom of these people.

I personally find it difficult to conduct myself in these areas if I can’t understand it. Should one say a Lshem Yichud Kudsha Brich Hu uShechintai (joining the RBSH with his Shechina) or joining the letter Yud Kay with Vav Kay before performing a mitzva, when one has no idea what in the world that is supposed to mean? Now, if one says I am not on the level to understand it, I can accept that, but how do I know that the mekubalim understand it either? When it comes to rocket science, I may not understand it, but I know it works, because the GPS system tells me where I am, and how to get to someplace else. When it comes to these mekubalim, what is their track record?

So for various reasons, my thinking has become much more rational, and the warmth I get now comes from chesed, not what I used to consider Ruchniyus in my Yeshiva days.

I am surprised a young, single girl like Sac knows so much about liquor. I don’t know one from the other.

At any rate, I never drink Wild Turkey. I only drink Vilder Chaya.

Craigslist NY has about 75 jobs in the last week in the Software category. In addition, there are quite a few more in the Systems / Network category, and in the Web/Info Design category. There is also an Internet Engineering category.

The OU job board has almost 50 positions in IT during December.

Please somebody explain why IT people are having so much trouble when it seems like there are jobs available, at least in NY.

I personally think G-d will not be too angry if somebody does the order in the way it helps him learn the best.

Ruffruff, not to mean any disrespect at all, but I thought that the animal world has a totally different system for finding their zivug. I mean they don’t use shadchanim or anything like that.

MW13, you seriously believe that this nonsense is real? I don’t think it is a problem of Avodah Zara, I think it is a problem of shtus.

BTW, if you ever find one of these types who you are convinced has real powers, please let me know, and buy me a lottery ticket with his predictions. I promise I will pay the cost of the ticket.

Else, email me his stock picks for the week.

Sheesh.

Very simple:

1) She is very good-looking

2) She is very rich.

3) Her father is very well-known.

Any other questions?

My point about machshava is that in the time of the Rambam, there may have been people with certain kashyas in their hashkafa, which are answered in the Moreh Nevuchim. However, the Rambam I believe holds that all yissurin comes from aveiros. I believe, in light of the Holocaust, where precious and pure little children were massacred, that that does not hold true. The main kashyas people have today are the misfortunes of the tzaddikim, and in the Rambam’s times, there were no misfortunes as great as what we saw in the Holocaust. We saw an entire continent of pure neshamos wiped out.

Second, many people have kashyas on the relationship of science and Torah. In the time of the Rishonim, science was practically undeveloped, and the sefarim of that time discuss the 4 elements, fire, air, water and earth. Different things were considered to be combinations of those four. Anybody reading the hashkafa works of those times will quickly get very disillusioned, as we know that we have much more sophisticated ways of describing nature (although there is far far more still to know that we do not understand.)

These are just some of the reasons why I don’t get much chizuk from these sefarim. On the other hand, my favorite mussar sefarim are Ish Tzaddik Hayah, and Tzaddik Yesod Olam about Reb Aryeh Levine. Holy Brother about Reb Shlomo Carlebach can also melt one’s heart.

Of course there may be general mussar concepts that one gets from these sefarim that apply at all times. However, I am referring specifically to Machshava.

RuffRuff posts from the doghouse, waiting for his owner to take him for a walk.

I personally feel that after the Holocaust, and in our times, it is hard to get inspiration from some of the works that were written before then.

I think everybody has to develop his/her own path in Avodas Hashem relevant to the times he lives in.

I heard a story about Reb Chaim Shmulevitz, that a boy came to him, and was extolling the virtues of a girl he was seeing, she davens three times a day, etc. Reb Chaim asked, but is she a shainer?

One must be attracted to his spouse. Sometimes it can grow on you after not initially being attracted, but it is still necessary.

As far as this discussion, if a guy is attracted, but is trying to figure out if she is good enough to impress others, (or his mother is doing that) then that is bad midos. But he himself must be attracted.

The good news is that most girls are very attractive, and I personally believe that with enough effort, just about all of them can be stunning. (May need to lose weight, dress better, use better makeup, etc., but in the end they can almost all be supermodels.)

Not everybody knows this, but Mod-80 was the Shadchan.

Eclipse, Yosef Hatzaddik was the subject of Hotzaas Shem Ra, and even jailed for it. Nevertheless, in the end he emerged clean and received high honors. As long as one knows he is clean, there is nothing to be ashamed about.

Trying, it is not necessarily a march towards more Torah values. It is a march towards extremism put forth by some with particular views that were never mainstrem in Judaism in previous doros. In its wake, have been left many with no parnasa or training to function in a job, who are in desperate financial straits.

Torah values were always to see that my fellow yidden had enough money to live on. Hatorah chasa al mamonam shel yisroel. Shmuel was going to tell people not to buy haddasim meshulashim if they did not lower their prices. Yaakov worked very hard with the sheep for 20 years.

The system that one looks for a spouse via a resume was never a Torah value. That singles should sit home and cry, waiting for a phone call from a shadchan was never a Torah value.

That businesses should have to resort to all kinds of shtick to function and stay alive was never a Torah value.

That many kids can’t read or write in either Hebrew or English after 12th grade was never a Torah value.

It is such a davar pashut that the issur on nicknames only applies to a derogatory or insulting nickname. Obviously it doesn’t apply to endearing nicknames. I don’t know how anybody could possibly have thought otherwise. Even in the gemara, they called each other nicknames. Abba Arichta was Rav (because he was tall), Shinena (for someone sharp).