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July 13, 2011 4:08 am at 4:08 am in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909341Pac-ManMember
feel that the desired goals are NOT best served when this info is publicized in forums such as YWN CR.
Please, pray tell, HOW, and in what way, classifying the identity of the alleged R”Y’s as top secret furthers the mission. Have the fanatical proponents of 10-year average age gaps in frum marriages C”V threatened harm to these R”Y if they promote close in age shidduchim? Really, even if you don’t tell me who they are, please explain why or how it helps to keep their names a secret.
Feel free to contact them directly.
How? Who?
Pac-ManMemberThat no male photographer be in, or look in, to the women’s section. Get female photographers. (And in the unlikely event that is not possible, that doesn’t excuse the alternative.)
Additionally, I don’t even understand how videos can be taken of women dancing (or on the same token how any woman can dance in front of a video camera.) Does anyone really believe no men will view those videos? The male video editors will, the Choson will, the family will, and friends will.
Pac-ManMemberAnother name: I was referring to the male photographers, not most men. And unfortunately many of them actually go into the ezras noshim. But even if they only “looked” from above the mechitza, that doesn’t alleviate the problem.
Pac-ManMemberNon-jews are not a different species of people, as I was shocked to find when I started college, straight out of seminary. They have personalities just like we do, and you might even identify with them and even (shocker) like them. However, it’s still important to keep a healthy distance.
The Gemara suggests that the Shichvas Zera of a Nochri has different properties from that of a Jew, since the Nochri eats non-Kosher foods and is physically affected by his diet. The Chasam Sofer (Teshuvos YD 175) writes that this Gemara is relevant in practice. He rules that we cannot assume that a medical treatment that was tested successfully on a Nochri will also be successful on a Jew. Rav Elyashev shlita pointed out that the Chasam Sofer writes that the physical characteristics of a Yid are different than a Goy, and that what applies to one may not apply to the other. Therefore, said Rav Elyashev, how much more so regarding the mind/soul?
July 13, 2011 12:57 am at 12:57 am in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909339Pac-ManMemberIt’s obvious that projects can’t be run under advisement from 70 people. However, the R”Y advising the project are well respected by the 70 different R”Y who signed to the age gap concept in general)
So why can’t NASI advise the tzibur which R”Y provide NASI with their ongoing guidance? I think it is a bit unusual to promote something under “the R”Y advising the project”, but being reluctant to identify who those R”Y are.
Pac-ManMemberHow is it even permissable for a man to be in the woman’s section when they are dancing, looking at them dance and photographing/video-graphing the women??? And how are those woman even able to dance in front of him???
Pac-ManMemberIs it right to reurn it for a full refund without the 60 cups?
Costco’s official policy is take the return even if parts are missing. If they allow it, and it’s being returned for legitimate reasons (as the OP indicates it is), there is no reason not to accept Costco’s generosity they extended to you with the purchase.
Pac-ManMemberWhat causes your disagreement with the Torah’s Hilchos Tznius so much (which has been abundantly clear every time you commented on it over the years as jp and apy), that you feel free to trample on it and encourage others to do the same?
Pac-ManMemberCostco will take it back as a return even 5 years or more later. It’s their official return policy.
July 12, 2011 10:53 pm at 10:53 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909336Pac-ManMemberFYI- NASI has been there and done that (with a similar survey) and that was a major breakthough in getting community leaders to realize the seriouslness of the situation.
Why hasn’t NASI published it (i.e. on its website)? I never saw any phone survey results from NASI breaking down the unmarried men vs. women demographics that demonstrate more shidduch aged women and to what extent. Where can I see the results from NASI’s survey? And why haven’t they publicized it?
Pac-ManMemberDo you get as uptight when someone asks you if you’re sure that ice cream is kosher? Or is it only tznius that makes you fidgety?
Pac-ManMemberEven when sitting?
Pac-ManMemberThank you WIY. Could not have been better said.
July 12, 2011 7:40 pm at 7:40 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909330Pac-ManMemberHashem doesn’t want them to marry at 35. Hashem wants them to marry at 18. See the Mishna. Barring that, try to get as close to that as possible (in either direction.)
July 12, 2011 6:30 pm at 6:30 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909328Pac-ManMemberWhy doesn’t NASI (or anyone for that matter) do a random phone survey in Flatbush, BP, Monsey, Passaic, Detroit, Cleveland, LA, etc. from numbers in the frum directory, and ask the gender and age of all unmarried children (or shidduch age children), to determine how great the gender discrepancy – if any – exactly is? Whatever the participation rate is, there is probably no reason to believe the (scientific?) survey would unfairly skew the results to either gender. Then you would have real data you can present to the community and leaders.
Pac-ManMemberMiddle: Do you go over to all the guys in your class too asking all of them if they need help; or do you only do so to the girls?
Pac-ManMemberappreciating cars
I have so much else to appreciate (Hashem, Family, Klal Yisroel) I have no time or energy or will or need to appreciate cars.
Pac-ManMemberalthough there may be some from when my wife shared this SN with me.
She signed up for her own SN since?
(Too lazy to check.)
You’ve been keeping a copy of all your posts here over the past 3+ years?
Pac-ManMemberNever burn your bridges.
July 11, 2011 11:24 pm at 11:24 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909320Pac-ManMemberI have some implementable ideas to promote this but I suggest a new thread should be started for it, as this one has become too cumbersome.
msseeker: Please start that thread.
Pac-ManMemberPac- Definitely C”Y but probably both.
kapusta: If it cost more to make homemade ice-cream than to buy ready-made C”Y, then by definition it is obviously more than ready-made C”A (which is cheaper than C”Y).
July 11, 2011 10:56 pm at 10:56 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909319Pac-ManMemberAZ: The same way you can encourage closer in age shidduchim, you can encourage shidduchim between Litvish and Chasidish. (Chasidish isn’t only the heiser Satmar types.)
Pac-ManMemberI brought along a 100 pack of cups.
Pac-ManMemberlakewood: It is cheaper to buy than to make based upon Cholov Yisroel or Cholov Akum brand prices?
Pac-ManMemberJust tell me the gas mileage. The rest is all cosmetics.
Pac-ManMemberMaybe the next topic of discussion can be which church has the best music or liturgy.
Pac-ManMemberbinah: ames is a she, not a he. And she requested the removal.
July 11, 2011 9:16 pm at 9:16 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909314Pac-ManMemberDY: Why is it a CH if the State and the IRS couldn’t care less if you live with a woman, have children, but never get married. (In fact, you will make the IRS happy by doing so.) You simply asserted it is a CH, but you are wrong as it is not, and can even be a Kiddush Hashem. (If you are not registering it as not to violate the archaic polygamy laws on the books and to help a girl who needs to get married have a husband.)
RAM has many many tapes, but IY”H I will find the one (at least one) that he indicates he has no opposition to it. (I didn’t say he was “calling for it”. But the Vilna Gaon WAS calling for polygamy, and I can try to find that source too if you’d like. And Rav Ovadia Yosef shlit”a is another proponent of allowing contemporary polygamy.)
July 11, 2011 8:27 pm at 8:27 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909312Pac-ManMemberThe Litvish have surplus girls; the Chasidim have surplus boys. Right there you have a partial solution. (Even with acknowledging the Litvish have a greater surplus.) The surplus girls will be married to the surplus boys.
Is NASI promoting this yet? Let’s move forward on this!
Pac-ManMemberm in Israel:
Hakaros Hatov can be expressed privately.
July 11, 2011 6:59 pm at 6:59 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909309Pac-ManMemberanon: Exactly. I’m glad you agree with me there is nothing wrong by not filing for a marriage certificate. (Yes, the discussion was regarding religious but not secular polygamy.) I agree with you about reporting the household income, even if not married. BTW, no one has any problems with non-religious men and women living together, having children even, but never getting married. The State couldn’t care less as a legal (or otherwise) matter.
Pac-ManMemberThey’re all 100% treif.
Pac-ManMemberI don’t know of any in that thread that were deleted, although there may be some from when my wife shared this SN with me. (Too lazy to check.)
Dr. P: Does your wife tend to tell over raunchier shidduch stories than you?
Pac-ManMemberAnonymous- $???
Moshe Pepper- $???
When did you stop being Avi Pepper?
July 11, 2011 4:23 pm at 4:23 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909306Pac-ManMemberIn any event, as I explained to DY above, there is nothing untoward, unkosher, unethical, or outright illegal in getting kedushin without a marriage certificate. The State doesn’t want to know your religious or personal life.
July 11, 2011 3:25 pm at 3:25 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909304Pac-ManMembergaw: There is no gelt. It is equally the case for those who don’t give any financial support. I’m surprised though you would insinuate the R”Y bends from what is correct based on financial considerations.
Pac-ManMemberDH: The way I learnt it was the problem with taking if off simultaneously.
July 11, 2011 3:47 am at 3:47 am in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909298Pac-ManMemberAZ: I hear your point about a total fix for the next gen (i.e. this year’s seminary) girls. But I don’t think even you believe there will be enough of a groundswell of change, that fast, for your fix to *fully* fix it for that gen.
DY: Incorrect, there is absolutely no C”H by getting kedushin but not getting a civil marriage registration. It is fully legal to not be legally married while being religiously married, and it is totally kosher and legal.
And re: the R”Y, I was specifically told he doesn’t care whether there is or isn’t a civil registration (and if there is he would prefer to not be bothered to sign it as the officiating clergyman.) BTW (as a side point), regarding someone not being mesader unless there is a civil registration, in NY State you can only file a civil marriage registration AFTER the clergyman (i.e. mesader) officiated at the wedding. (You must get a license to marry before the ceremony, but if you don’t follow it up with a signed registration within 30 days, the license expires without any legal effect.) So it would be a bit difficult to refuse to be mesader without civilly registering the marriage , other than to inform the groom at every wedding that you insist he file the registration and then trust he will.
Pac-ManMemberPerhaps a cheap new keyboard is all you need.
July 10, 2011 6:48 pm at 6:48 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909273Pac-ManMemberam yisroel: The women AZ is trying to help are those who will never be able to get married since there are no single men available. Even AZ acknowledges that his solution will NOT help all the current (and even next) generation of girls as there will still be many without an available man. Surely many if not all these otherwise unmarriagable girls will choose a polygamous marriage rather than none at all. (Besides, who wouldn’t mind a sister-wife helping out with the kids instead of a babysiter!)
July 10, 2011 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909270Pac-ManMemberAZ: If there is a will (just like there was with NASI in encouraging close in age shidduchim) we can re-implement polygamy. Don’t make it sounds like moving bricks, because it can be implemented.
Pac-ManMemberAnd if his davening is not perfect, is his point any
less valid?
July 10, 2011 3:41 pm at 3:41 pm in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909266Pac-ManMemberDaas: The biggest agreement I have with AZ is boys marrying younger. The biggest disagreement I have with him is his (currently implicit but previously explicit) advocacy of girls marrying later.
Can you explain your opposition to polygamy? (BTW, the GRA was a big propnent of re-establishing its practice in the Ashkenazic community.)
Pac-ManMemberIf she asked you how much makeup is untznius, that would be more akin to your washing machine example; if she asked how much makeup she looked good in, that would be akin to your makeup and dress example.
Pac-ManMemberSo why then do I get into so much trouble when posting the truth, when it hurts?
July 10, 2011 6:30 am at 6:30 am in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909256Pac-ManMemberHow did we manage when polygamy was practiced? Was there a girl shortage?
July 10, 2011 6:29 am at 6:29 am in reply to: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up #909255Pac-ManMemberHow did we manage when polygamy was practiced? Was there a girl shortage?
Pac-ManMember42 – Was it really necessary to stick that knife into his back?
Pac-ManMemberOr a Michiginer.
Pac-ManMemberIn any event, in the case at hand 1) there was no proof beyond reasonable doubt, even if one thinks there was probable proof 2) in beis din valid truthful eyewitnesses constitutes proof beyond a shadow of doubt 3) in this case there were no witnesses.
Therefore, be it resolved, the defendent Casey Anthony was rightfully acquitted in the eye of the law, both Torah and American.
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