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1) A desire to accomplish something in life as a Jew. For that you need marriage to a decent person. This is very different from the goal of gaining a romantic high or fun times where you need an exact match.
2) A connection to Hashem and Judaism. People who lack that connection seek perfection in a shiduch where it does not happen. Only Hashem and Torah are perfect.
3) A handle on reality. Unrealistic people want the world, want the impossible, want contradictions. Realistic people know what they have to offer and can see the same in others.
“I am sure that there are individuals who will strongly disagree with me in whole or in part. That’s ok. I respect your opinions, too, even as I disagree with them.”
Well as long as you are chewing out the young people (strangely mostly for their hygiene and dress habits), what do you have to say to the shadchanim? Maybe some of them can learn a little more tact, can return phone calls, can help move the shiduchim along in constructive ways rather than handing out a number and saying you are on your own.
“Should they split the cost of each date or should they switch who pays from one date to the next?”
That’s one possibility but does present other problems. Less problematic possibilities include the women thinking of a place to go (cheap one), meeting the men half way, making a picnic. The point is, if one is only giving, and the other only taking, you are not going to have a healthy situation. Also, she can make sure she eats before the date and they can just go out for a piece of cake.
Have the women contribute something. Currently the men do everything: calling, driving, thinking of things to do, paying. The women need to make a picnic, think of things to do, meet halfway – something, anything. The imbalance ruins many shiduchim and is unfair.
Sure it’s tuma. What would you say if a coach were to teach a child to genuflect (trace a cross on his chest) when he steps up to the plate in Yiddleleague? Do we minimize it by saying it’s something that Latin baseball players do, ie it’s a baseball thing? “Chill.” Perhaps the mock weddings weren’t tuma before people associated them with true gay marriage. But now that the association is easy to make, it is tuma.
And worse tuma are the rude and brazen remarks that one finds all over the postings here.
Three points in support of the original post:
1) There’s a difference between kids inventing a game on their own and adults imposing one on them. Some posts here are confusing the two. If a bunch of girls invent a wedding game from their own imagination then we can call it harmless. This is different. Here it’s not just kids having fun. It’s adults designing the fun and putting a stamp of approval on it.
2) Some of the posts seem to operate from the presumption that it doesn’t matter much what happens when children are small. This might stem in part from our getting distracted by their cuteness. I am reminded of the foolish people who dress up little girls in clothing that is provocative on adults and ignore the harm they are doing because the kids look so cute. However, you can argue that little things matter more when the kids are small.
3) What makes this worse is that they had a little boy watching the girls. It wouldn’t be as bad if only girls were involved.