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WOW my friend just sent this to me! I thought this would be great to bring back int sight for everyone! Espcailly in our day and age, when everything seems so bleary and hard, and our perception of Hashem seems so distant, when really Hashem is hugging each and every one of us as this moment!!!
Thank you for posting 3 years ago, this wil never get old!!!
newyawker- I dont belive in an addiction to anything except for the Torah and Hashem. everything you like outside your avodas Hashem is just a yetzer Hara trying to diverge you from your life plan. I don’t mean you job, playing with your kids, shopping etc. is C’V your yetzer hara. Those are all part of the beautiful life we are each given! But the things outside what you are really doing here (overindulging, watching tv, wasting time on the internet etc.)
Now That sounded harsh (and you know my posts r never harsh, so lemme explain)! From my understand, we each have a tafkid in this world. At certain points in our life we are given different challenges o overcome to make us a better person and continue building ourself, but we msut remeber we are constantly being challenged. So how do we look at the challenges, it can literally kill us (ex: you really think your addictied to TV! You just cant stop!. We must look at our challenges as brachas. this is how I attempt to make my way through everyday.
Perhaps right now, you could be doing something alot worse, but you are watching Tv instead. Perhaps you are not mentaly ready to make a step forward in your yiddishkeit and Hashem has given you the bracha of time to help comb your way through your personal needs to get there. Will you ever know, only Hashem knows! So it is your job to FIRST stop thinking its an addiction and stop thinking its a challenge. Its a bracha and with time you will realize it.
Once you recognize Hashem has blessed you with the bracha of time, please come back to us and ask us for the next step in abolishing what you consider “a waste of time”. your first step in moving forward with anything in life is recognizing hashem!!! HJatzlacha!
RAV PINCUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also ALEI SHUR is unreal!
Have fun learning!
amen! well said bostoner.
Baruch Hashem!!!
DAMOSHE- HAVE YOU NOT BEEN READING MY POSTS ALL THE TIME LOL
IVE BEEN WITH YOU SINCE DAY ONE BROTHER
damoshe and feif- your clearly not here anymore, so I hope damoshe passes this onto you. I post often and like many of you know I grew up MO and have moved more to the right for my personal reasoning. I attempt here to bridge the ever growing gap between the two groups, cuz honestly we all love Hashem. That is all. It is quite simple, but it gets blown up real big. I dont want to label myself.
A great Rabbi of a school in Toronto put out a poem about Moshaich called “Moshiachs hat”. If you haven’t read it, I suggest you do. All Hashem wants is a little bit of love between all of us. I belive that you leaving is a sign of giving up that love. Yes we have different ideals. And honestly, one or the other group might be really right and one might be really wrong. But NO ONE will get that through to one another in a situation as bad as it is today. We are so seperated, and the loshon hara that goes on behind everyones back about one group or the other. It kills me. Literally. That is why I love MO Jews and Chareidim and Chassidish Jews. Each one is speical and each one who woke up with morning still has a tafkid in this world. I think part of each of our tafkidim is to stop hating so much, and start loving.
In this world we always focus so much on how different we all are. This is why no change ever occurs. I would like to focus on how similar we all are before I start pointing fingers at who is right and who is wrong. Is anyone here with me? If I’m alone, well Moshe was alone when he killed the Mitzri. Lehavdil I shud be as incredible as just one action of Moshe Rabbeinu, but he stood up for a Jew when no other Jew did. Lets learn from Him. He didnt say, oh this jew is charedi, I cannot help. He said, HASHEMS CHILD IS BEING HURT I MUST DO SOMETHING! COMMON EVERYONE! we are better than how we are!
FEIF PLEASE COME BACK FOR THE SAKE OF AHAVAS CHINAM! Don’t just run away from the problem!!
SayIDidIt- one thing thats very important I know this seems obvious but often we take for granted our mothers or wives lighting the shabbos candles. If you plan on doing it (becuase it seems you are lighting at home and eating there too) make sure you leave enough time to light before the 18 minutes!!!! and you will have to daven mincha before (unless you have in mind that you are not ccepting shabbos upon urself with the lights) (Ask your rabbi lol)
Hatzlacha it sound slike you will have a beautiful shabbos!!
dont forget divrei torah!!
smile19- I feel you girl! Heres my humble advice: Take this as a Bracha from Hashem. Clearly Hashem only gives us brachos in this world, but us as humans cannot recognize what we percieve as challenges as brachos. People will come into your life, and people will leave your life. You should take whatever you can from every person who comes in and incorporate everything they taught you that you found useful, or everything you saw in them that you would not want to be and make yourself a better person.
In this case, I do not think your friend and her mother are being fair to you at all. I do not know them, so I cannot say whther they are justified or not, but I would say don’t bother anymore. You seem to be a very special person and I would love to be friends with you anyday π surround yourself with genuine friends and remind yourself eahc moment this hurts you, that this is for the best and it is her loss for treating you unrespectfully. Hatzlacha with everything!
agreed i posted two things and they both got lost somwehre in cyberspace wahhh
29 my buddie!! you gotta help me out!
streek my buddy!!! Nice to hear from you! Of course we all make mistakes, but I appreciate that Hashem gave you the zchus to hear such a beautiful vort and then you decided to share it with us and it really has helped me (and this is not even a post about my problems!!!) What a special person you are π
Thanks 29 :)!!!!!!! Best mod ever!
Yea id suggest you learn about three things then: learnabout the importance of tefillah (shock it might not only be gemora it might be from a more hashkafic perspective) learn about thr importance of learning everyday (sounds obvious right? But if you are missing yor seder you might need some reminders and strong ideas ti help motivate you s little more!) And learn about time and judaism (the ogher opportunities yoh have. cuz yhere are soooooooo many! I know all that sounds obvious so dontattack mr and sau u know it all cuz im sure you do. bit trust me ive been there. If you are doing an action you dont want to be doin and you are a God fearong yid, you gotta reteach and emphasize to yourself the importance of the action you are inoring or the cknsequences of the action you are doing!! You can fo this! Seriously the second you find yourself finding meaning in other things in your life youll stop π
newyawker- generally this is going to sound pretty obvious, but I’m gonna say it anyways. Most of the time when people do something they don’t want to, they are not understanding fully why they shouldnt be doing something. Even if they are clean shows, if you find it porblematic, start up a new hobby. Talk to you wife more, take her for walks and cute trips to town. Leanr more Torah. Learn with a friend or on the phone like Ooorah. Do some chessed. Fill the time you would spend watching meaningless shows and fill them with real time meaningful experiances that will last a lifetime. (and not to mention build up bonus points with Hakodosh Boruch Hu!) Hatzlacha! I did it too, but for me I came from being immersed in it and took me my whole life to realize what a waste of time it was.
Well said – 29
Rising sun- How inspirational! I stopped watching TV a while ago, before seminary. And In my house there is a huge flat screen tv. I dont even give it a second look Baruch Hashem. I take chizuk from your story though to know that other people over come such struggles! shkoyACH
Streekgeek- wow what you wrote was seriously inspirational! I never thought of my struggles that way π Thank you!
hahaha all of you!!! I didn’t even learn Halacha in my school. I went to a frum school. So there. No Halacha, no Hashkafa. Frum day school. Thats life. If the school isn’t giving it, you gotta give it at home.
I grew up with it, I have known about it ever since I could remeber. My grandparents are survivors so that porbably made a difference. I can’t say I didn’t have nightmares, but then again who wouldn’t, it’s very scary. I would have nightmares no matter what age.
nonikname- If you are saying you believe in Hashem, you are going no where near OTD! Seriously!! Now listen, you must be a teen going through some seriously tough times, but I will tell you this FROM FIRST HAND EXPERIANCE and from watching my friends go throguh it too, you will not move forward unless YOU choose to. Hashem has mapped out a plan for you, but it is your choice to decide which path you will take to get there. Yes, your right, Hashem seems like he is missing, but that is the whole idea of Hester Panim. Hashem put us next to Har sinai to get that tanglible feeling of light, of kedusha, or Hashem’s prescense. But Hashem warned us there would come a dark Galus, but He said you will have this to hold onto. even in our personal Galus, when we see only dark, there is light. And that is the Torah. that is tefilah. That is tehillim. If you don’t beleive Hashem is helping you (and every breath you take doens’t prove it to you) just try davening once more. Give it one more shot. And this time put your whole heart and soul into it. Then you can come back to me and tell me that Hashem isn’t listening and doens’t care about you. But until you my dear friend do your own hishtadlus, you cannot say that!!
TAOM- I need an update from you my dear friend!! How are you doing at home? hows the mishpacha!!
Nonikname- yet you still come back here to shmooze woth frum God fearing and loving Jews. Why? Why didbu stop caring?
nonikname,
I am learning with two girls who aren’t relgious and they were asking me why they should belevie in a God. I told them that when times are good, it is very easy for us to love our lives, its easy for us to just plain live life. But when the going gets tough, say there is a death in the family, your best friend “dumps” you, your having a serious fight with someone say a parent or sibling. Something is wrong. If you blame YOURself, you will not be able to function! You must recognize you are only human! You cannot fix everything. That is when you have Hashem. (side point: you had Hashem in the first place, Hashem was causing the good times for you, but not the point right now). So One of the girls asked me “yes, but then I’d be VERY VERY ANGRY at Hashem, I wouldn’t want to believe in Him”. I said “AHA! you answered your own question”.
Do you ever get angry at your parents? Will you get angry at your spouse IyH? Your friends? Of course! Do you get angry at random people on the street? No! Whats the difference? You love the first group of people, of course when they are doing something that angers you, you will get angry! But you are angry at them because they love you, you have a relationship with them. So to with Hashem. Be angry at Hashem for your problems. Daven (and I mean it, pick up a siddur and relive the emotional experiance it is to daven), ask Hashem to help you, because you have a relationship with Hashem and he just wants you back!
I’m so sorry you are going through a hardship! Just know that there is always hope, you must search for it and never give up! Remeber: You woke up today, you have a purpose! Make the most of it π
is it me!?
shopping- the best way to get it in your mind is to learn about it. Learn the halachos, I know there is a book on brachos! Remind yourself of how embarassed you were when you forgot the Bracha (which we all have those moments so dont feel too bad) and yea π
Post a reminder on your ceiling, first thing you see when you wake up! π
I don’t belive you shouldnt marry someone just because they are a carrier, even more so if you arent a carrier and they are you are giving the other person a chance to have kids who aren’t. And frankly, you arent cutting your children’s chances of finding a shidduch down because now they won’t be compatible with a certain group of people. Hashem has an ultimate goal. I would marry them if they were a good person. We all have flaws, is that to say your wouldn’t marry me, because my parents are less frum than I am?
It is a silly thing, and it took me a bit to realize that, but it is. Hashem has a greater plan.
nonikname!- go to a mirror right now, close your eyes and then open them.
tell me what you see- I dont want to hear you say I see a depressed person. You see someone who is able to see, someone who has eyes. Someone who is able to type and write her feelings on a place where people care and love to help!
Has Hashem not helped you get up this morning? And gave you the confidence to write everything you just did? If im not mistaken, Hashem helped you do that. Maybe you need to add something more spiritually enlightening to your life, like start saying Tehillim everday with extra kavana. I did that and it has added so much.
Don’t ever think Hashem is not with you (Footsteps in the Sand):
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with the Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
one beloning to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the
very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you’d walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life there is
only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why when I needed you most
you would leave me.”
The Lord replied “My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffereing,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,
it was then that I carried you.”
dear this thread! PLEASE TAKE A MINUTE TO READ THIS!
Guys you are all getting out of hand!!! I hate bringing up this part of my life, cuz I don’t like to remeber all the halachos I was breaking in my past, but I will share with you one small story (and frankly I didnt know any btr growing up very modern and not knowing any better).
People aroiund me in my community go about their daily lives without Torah in their every move! When I was in high school, the girls around me didn’t have a kesher with Hashem. THEY WERE JEWISH GIRLS WITHOUT A KESHER WITH HAKODOSH BORUCH HU!!!!! SHOPPING!!! TAOM! STREEKGEEK!!! NONIKNAME! everyone!!! Think about how special each of you are! The fact you cry out to Hashem, you have the Emuna in these dark times of Galus. you yell out to Hashem you are angry! What a special kesher! And Hashem is carrying you (you know that mashal about how Hashem carried the man through the sand during his hard times and thats why there was only one set of footprints).
I went to a shiur last night about Hester Panim. How do you help a child who is afriad of the dark, you show himt there is no change in his room from the light to the dark. You take him around and say here is the desk here is your bed, here is the door and when you turn off the light you show him again that everything is still there. Hashem brought us all Har Sinai to recive the Torah. It was one of the lightest moments in JEwish History, but Hashem warned of a dark dark Galus! But he said don’t be afriad, remeber this moment and stay connected to me, your Tatty! And guess what I’ve left a light for you, I’ve left the TORAH! that is your light!
So my dear CR family, find that light. there is only so much we can do to help each other until you finnaly need to help yourself. Reach out to the Torah! Do chessed! “adopt a Bubby”. Reconstruct your life. If you woke up this morning, you are special and YOU still have a tafkid here in this world! So don’t pass the opportunity. We all have challenges, but use the “light source” to get you throguh!
Seriously, don’t give up on yourselves, you are about to become stronger than you ever were and THAT IS EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hatzlocho!!!!!!
shopping!!!!! MY SWEET SHOPPING!!!!
I hope all my daughters are as increidble attached to Hashem as you are. Seriously!!!! |WOW!!!!! Im beyond impressed! I wish I had that kesher with Hashem, the ability to yell at Hashem when I was down because he is my Tatty just like he is yours! Please don’t think anything your going throguh itsn’t normal, you are a going throguh a stage in life that will hopefully be over soon! I can gurantee you one thing and one thing only, it will be much easier if you find someone to talk to. Just try it, find someone, ease into it and if you see your becoming a burden move on. Humans are only human! You can do it shopping!!! You can do it!!!!! We all have faith in you! π gut Vach!!
TAOM- your seriously so mature! You should know your very lucky that at such a young age your having conflict with your parents. I am only having it now (marrigable age) and it very hard for me because Im not used to it and I dont know how to handle it. Funny enough this is life and its NORMAL!!! So shkoyach to you, really!
Anyways, as for finding a mentor, this is how I found mind, but everyone is different. Im a natural shmoozer so I make bonds quite easily, but I found that the people who seem more geuninly intrested tend to follow up with me, meaning I am not always the initiator, they will initiate conversation.
Now, noone needs to “adopt” you, but everyone needs a mentor, so finding one could just be sitting in class one day and realizing this teacher is really inspirational, you can start with small talk and see where it goes and if she seems like a down to earth, understanding person open up to her! Im sure they will be more than happy to help you!
have an increadibly spiritual and beautiful Shabbos π
CHUGEL ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TAOM- I’m soooooo glad your getting more invovled in chessed! It is totally my escape from the world as well and I love it!
I think you are approaching this very maturely, but I don’t want you to take my advice wrong (not that you have to take it, but i’d just like to clarify what I’m saying). As someone who is going through deep challenges with my parents, it is definitly a big shkoyach to you to for looking at their positive traits. As you get older, you recognize your parents are human just like you, but they are always going to be your parents. I agree with this, but I am only saying that it is still important to have someone as a mentor, that you can go to when times get hard or to just get advice from, or vent to. Yes you can take the positive approach and put a smile on, and you should, you deserve it! But doesn’t mean you need to run away from your problems cuz they will only come back to haunt you.
As you know, every great Rebbe had his own great Rebbe! We cannot assume well just be fine, we need mentors! Even for the sake of just shmoozing life not venting!
Sorry if I seemed like I was imposing advice on you, I genuinly just want you to be happy in the inside and out, not just pushing your probelms aside like they dont exist! You seem amazing!