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“Just putting benefits out there, does not make them reach the needy.”
In this case it does.
If you want to also become a shadchan, the benefits will reach them quicker.Anyone can make a shidduch.
I try all the time. Can’t help that people have ridiculous demands but I do my best.
And no, I don’t just match up pants with a skirt. I think for a long time before matching people up, to decide whether they’d be compatible.Don’t be like all the other people sitting on their couches and dispensing sage advice while not actually doing anything.
Bottom line is the boys are causing the shidduch crisis which is worse than simply not helping those in need.
Actively causing world poverty rather than just not contributing.
Sorry for the harsh language but someone has to say it.
We all want to close our eyes and pretend it doesn’t exist.
It does.“Chessed is when it benefits a specific individual or community.”
The yeshivish/litvish single community
The Donald Syndrome??
“I have often heard police officers claim that “their first job is to get back safe to their families at night”. Wrong! A cop’s first job is to make sure that I and other citizens get back safe to our families. If the cop can do it to, great, but it’s not in his job description.”
I disagree. They are not expected to be martyrs.
“Very good! But I would not appreciate any advice on that. I know enough of it.”
What do you know enough of? Spelling mistakes or medications?“I thought you were joking. I wish the skeptics are also.”
Does this mean you wish they believed in nevuah?I think people can have a very minor form of nevuah today. Think stories of someone having an intuition which saved his/someone else’s life.
There’s a story of a woman who had an NDE and afterwards was able to somewhat predict the future, can’t remember the exact detailsLike yeah, whatever
Nom, if you’re not ready to get married, gezunteheit.
But the general norm does not have to be that most boys only start dating at 23.
You want to have a few exceptions, no problem.I’m so curious whether she got married in the end
“In general rallying yeshiva bochuim to the cause. Even in a good cause. Specifically here, it means telling them to plan their lives in accordance with the holy grail of the shidduch crisis.”
They are the only ones who can fix the shidduch crisis.
The girls certainly can’t.
Are you saying that the benefits of a bachur being able to learn a few extra years in so-called peace outweigh the middah of chesed?My fingers moving and legs walking.
Thank You Hashem.@KGN
It is not psychologically healthy for a man to constantly be seeking women.
What is your reasoning?Never heard of any.
But there is a good frum filter company online called GenTechHashem looked into the Torah and created the world (including human logic, morality, law and order) based on its laws.
כדי שלא יטרח
במזונות ויבטל מן התורה
As a girl I don’t know the whole gemara, so maybe I am missing an important point.
But,
Most boys are being supported those first few years anyway.@little
Hear hearN0mesorah, I’m talking about all the smart people who think we would be better off with no police.
If boys/men were able to wear whatever they wanted without social consequence, what do you think would happen? IMHO we would have a lot more shorts, baseball caps, sweatpants. Its not a Torah look.
We want to show how different we are from the goyim.
Girls have tznius which is obvious, boys don’t have something as obvious.
CC boys are, in my limited opinion, a very different breed then most yeshiva boys.
They are very self-made and extremely motivated. Most of them want to stay in klei kodesh forever. So no, they don’t necessarily need a dress code. They will always look Torahdig.
Of course, there are many many boys like this in all yeshivos, but the mainstream yeshivos carry every and all types unlike chafetz chaim, so they have to put in gedarim for the weaker less motivated boys.All of klal yisroel are responsible for one another. My crisis is your crisis
In today’s unfortunate day and age, no one wants to listen to authority.
People are of the mindset that they are smarter than all the people who have lived until now.
Let’s change the world! Let’s make all marriages legal! Let’s all live like wild animals.
Why listen to anyone if I can do whatever I want.
And then they wonder why are there so many emotional problems nowadays?? Why is life so hard? I have depression, anxiety!! Help
Yes, you do. Because you are so smart. You don’t listen to anyone’s advice.
Not talking about Yidden but by the goyim, they are so entitled.
If I want it, I should have it. Right??
So someone who works hard for his money should pay the government extra so that they can give me money so that I can continue doing whatever I want. Because why should I work hard if I don’t want to.
Who ever said life was about getting whatever you want? Whenever you want it? Who are you, the Queen of Sheba?
They don’t listen to their parents, they don’t listen to authority. Disciplining kids in the modern psychology world is a big no-no.
When you grow up and no one ever told you “No”, of course you have anxiety and depression and are constantly breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
And if you want to murder your neighbor because he took your parking spot? Why ever not? When were you ever taught to control yourself?
Of course they are outraged when the police try to tell them what to do. Who has a right to tell them what to do?
We need mashiach, b’kitzurOh my gosh. I never thought about this.
I would also like to ask public forgiveness if I hurt anyone’s feelings.
When it’s anonymous you forget that people can get hurt by your commentsIf it’s a serious eating disorder, you should get a mental health professional involved right away.
There are long term serious effects……
Anorexia can be life threatening and ruin a girl’s opportunity to have children.
Force them to go see a professional!Maybe it’s a message from Hkb’h that its time to get married.
The Rabbanim have said that once a boy is 21 he should ask his Rosh Yeshiva if he thinks its the right time.
Maybe we can use this opportunity to alleviate the shidduch crisis (yes, its real).
Maybe this is what the Ribono Shel Olam wanted to tell us?
Get married and settle down in BMG or such yeshiva.
You can always move to Eretz Yisrael with your new wife once this is over.I don’t understand.
What’s wrong with American yeshivos?
Why is only Israel an option?
Please enlighten me.This is not something I have experience with yet. BUT, maybe, you can ask yourself, “If I never saw this person again, how would I feel? Would I be relieved if I chose not to get engaged?”
If the answer worries you, I would tell you to speak to someone older and wiser, and not just one, but a FEW people who are older and wiser.
Then you need to compare answers and listen to your inner gut feeling (this is even more important).
Not everyone who is old is wise, so be very careful.@backfromsem, what kind of questions do you have? If you feel comfortable you can list them and I’ll see if I have an answer
For me personally, Rabbi Yossi Mizrachi on TorahAnytime changed my life.
Here are 2 examples, but he has tons of lectures on various topics.
links removedHappy2Be, I have quite a few girlfriends who got married at 24 years old to amazing boys and they’re so happy now. One I believe was 25.
Just be open-minded and DO NOT turn down shidduchim without a VERY good reason
Ask advice if you need to.
And you will soon be married.
Trust me.
Let us know when it happens.Because people are so very picky.
What is wrong with a baal teshuva for example?
Or someone from a divorced home?
Someone who is “quiet” or “not so skinny”?
Or someone who is from a family that doesn’t have money?
Since when is Shidduchim a shopping spree??
Does he have to be Smart, AND A Long Term Learner, AND Tall, AND went to Israel??
She has to be pretty, and not tall, and her father has money but is also in klei kodesh?
What kind of nonsense is this.
Each person needs to look at himself and ask “Am I causing the crisis?”
No, its not HKBH who caused the crisis. We, with our long lists, caused the crisis.Why are so many people having marriage problems today? Because they didn’t marry their bashert.
Because their bashert was 23 and they were also 23, so they wouldn’t hear of it.
If you don’t marry your bashert, why should Hashem give you the special siyatta dishmaya that a marriage needs in order to succeed?The problem is clear and was enumerated by many Rabbonim.
The boys are starting to date at 23 and only dating the 19 year old girls, and YES there IS an AGE GAP.
Stop denying it!
If a boy wants to learn in Eretz Yisrael, he must be willing to date a girl his own age.
Otherwise he is a rotzeiach.