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A gift is a gift. BUT if given in the promise or premise that it is to mark an engagement or near-engagement, as opposed to say, a birthday or yom tov gift, the proper etiquette is to return it, if the relationship dissolves prior to a wedding. Speak to your ROV regarding any halachic aspects of this. The mesnchlech thing for either party to do, is to return ALL expensive gifts that were clearly given in consideration of the relationship, i.e. bracelets, watches, earrings, etc. I know of young women who refused to give back the diamond ring when the engagement was broken, and personally, that appalls me, and does not look too good for the girl who appears to be that mercenary.
You know what I find outrageous????? Having to pay income tax on social security benefits which were taxed at the time that I first earned the money, and were removed from my paycheck to put into Social Security. The Gross income was taxed on each paycheck. So why do we have to be taxed again when re receive the money that was already taxed, but which was unavailable to us until we retired? Am I misunderstanding something here( and before anyone says I DO misunderstand, I asked that question when I first applied for early SS and the person signing me up said I was absolutely right, but that’s our government for you…)
Scared driver, the others were actually asked pertinent and relevant questions pertaining to their political beliefs. They were not asked about how they feel about women. Whether or not Trump is electable, remains to be seen. But judge him on his opinions regarding the COUNTRY ISSUES, not about how he feels about a lone female comic who was out of line in her attack on his appearance, or about how he responded to an insulting question he was asked by a rude, pretty face who wants to be the next Barbara Walters. (I still like Cruz and Huckabee).
Hilary-ous should not even get the nomination, but if she does, we had better have a candidate who is not afraid to stand up to her and ask the questions Mitt Romney was afraid to in the last election against her boss (who BTW, IS the most arrogant man around – at least Donald Trump loves Israel). There is no room for keeping the gloves on this time around.
Oomis remember the old line if you cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen? it is her job to ask tough questions there was nothing unfair about her questions if a candidate is disrespectful to a huge segment of the electorate that is a valid issue if he were an anti semite you would have no problem with that issue being raised imo. “
Goq, I would agree with you had she actually asked him serious questions relating to politics. His views about Rosie O’Donnell were well-known a LONG time ago. She was disrespectful to him first, and drew first blood (whoops, am I not allowed to refer to blood, lest it be misinterpreted????) when she made fun of him. And while he should not be so thin-skinned, especially if he wants to be in politics, his unpleasant remarks about her did not reflect his views about ALL women. Had he been more tactful, he should have said, he regrets that he said such unflattering things, even as he was provoked.
As to the other things that Megyn Kelly asked him, ASK THE WOMEN who appeared on the Apprentice if they felt he disrespected them or was offensive in things he said to them. Two of the women came forward and said he did not deserve the negative feedback he was receing.
I am not looking to defend him, but I do believe he got a bad rap and Kelly did her best to ambush him with nonsense that had nothing materially to do with the election and his platform. And it was done to elicit a response that could be held against him. She baited him, from my perspective, plain and simple.Personally, I liked other candidates better, but let’s be fair.
BTW, I was singularly NOT impressed with Rand Paul. He is a dour man, interrupting and argumentative, and potentially dangerous obstacle to Israel. He’s the one candidate who stood out negatively for me. And that is even with not being a great fan of Jeb Bush.
My aineklach, and the countless other brachos in my life, make me Supremely Happy. I am happy to be a Jew, I am happy to wake up every morning, even when life is extremely unpleasantly challenging and painful, as it has been this past week (really past month), and I am happy that I can still get up on two feet, see the world around me, hear the laughter of children, and eat the great food that I cook (she said, modestly), or if I am lucky enough to have someone else cook for me. I am most happy when my three year old grandson hugs me and says, “I love you to Hashem, Bubby.” My older grandchildren also bring my husband and me great nachas.
I think even the saddest among us, must have SOMETHING that makes them happy, at least SOME of the time. And if not, then it is just that they have not as yet recognized it. Loving Hashem, makes me really happy, because it permeates the rest of my life and relationships. I hope everyone here finds their happiness.
Such a tragedy, nebbich. Refuah Shelaima to the injured girls.
Mr. Trump’s biggest problem is his uncontrolled mouth. He is intelligent, he is passionate, he is a BUSINESSMAN (very crucial in our debt-ridden country today), and he is strong on the desire to protect our national security and borders. Her also is a good friend to Israel. That said, he is not diplomatic or tactful, and although I believe that there are so many times when being PC is Positively Catastrophic, there are nevertheless times when a President needs to finesse a situation. He is very heavy-handed.
I agreed with nearly everything he said, and Megyn Kelly, whom I watched on TV, really IMO was out of line in the questions she asked him. She took things out of context, and if you listen to the entire exchange that took place on The Apprentice, he really said nothing offensive regarding women, to the female contestant. It was all blown up out of proportion and misinterpreted by those who have an agenda and animus to Donald Trump. He did make an unfortunate comment at the debate, but he was pushed and provoked (though that is part of his problem, as he needs to learn to control his responses to a visceral attack).
I like Ted Cruz and Mike Huckabee. Also Marco Rubio, but I don’t think it his time yet. I would love to see most of the candidates in the President’s cabinet. Maybe a Huckabee/Cruz ticket, with Carly Fiorina in there, somewhere as well. And Ben Carson should be Surgeon General. I liked him a lot.
I am the first to admit I am politically ignorant, but these are the impressions I got from the debate. So agree or disagree, this is how I see it. I cannot wait for the next debate.
CharlieHall, I was referring to the rest of the world, all the movie stars and phony liberals who have been saying hang the guy for killing Cecil (and I don’t care that he was named, it’s more that I feel that people relate more to HIM than to other innocent animals that are slaughtered, BECAUSE he has a name and they don’t). I think the dentist is a hunter, and I find hunting fopr sport to be especially loathsome. But there are far worse things going on in the world that cannot elicit even a 10th of the protest that this poor lion has.
People are screaming about the poor Palestinian infant who was burned to death, allegedly by chareidi settlers (until it is proved that this was not done by Palestinians themseleves as a frameup, I will not believe it just because a magen dovid was painted in graffiti and revenge words were written – Palestinians could have done all that themselves). There was an interfaith prayer vigil scheduled, led by a rabbi and an imam, I believe.
Where was the same outcry when the little three month old JEWISH baby was murdered? Where was the world outcry and prayer vigil for the people who were murdered amidst their davening? What about the pregnant woman, an only child expecting her first baby, blown to bits in Sbarros Pizza many years ago? And scores and scores of other truly innocent victims have died at the hands of those who are now calling for an Intifada.
We need to get our priorities straight, call a spade a spade, and as a people worry more about our own tzoros, than about the animal kingdom. Please note, I said worry MORE about our tzoros, which does not mean we should not worry about tzaar baalei chayim. We absolutely should, and we do. But people come before animals. If you are upset about Cecil (as I am ), please encourage others to be at least as worried about Jews.
Whatever my personal feelings may be about some of the “out there” things Avi Weiss has done or tried to do, this topic is engendering a LOT of L”H, and somehow, especially after Tisha B’Av, this is especially inappropriate IMO Can we drop this????
Done – refuah shelaima b’soch sh’or cholei Yisroel.
I actually never knew my real name until I got married. My entire life I thought my name was one thing (first and middle name), then found out when my kesuvah was written, that my true middle name was actually the Yiddish form of what I always thought was my middle name. For example, let’s say I thought my name was Shoshana, then saw on the kesuvah that it was really Raizel. I was very disconcerted by this, but the Jewish name was the one the Rov held to be the correct middle name for that purpose. I had never
noticed as a child or young woman, that when my dad O”H got an aliyah, he used my proper Yiddish name for a misheberach. Had I only been referred to by the Hebrew form, there could have been a shailah about what to put on the kesuvah.
Object lesson – parents, be very careful and put much thought into how and what you name your children. Don’t call them ridiculous names like Purple, or Apple. They will never thank you for it.
The hunting and slaughter of any animal for sport should always be decried. It is disgusting, abhorrent, and filled with hubris (as is evidenced by the pride that this idiot feels in his accomplishment).That said, I find it curious that all the people who are so outraged over the killing of Cecil (and naming him seems to have humanized him more than is warranted, as there are plenty of other lions who are hunted and killed and no one has protested)have nothing to say about the slaughter of the three Jewish boys in E”Y a year ago, the drowning,fire-setting, beheading, throat-slitting etc. by ISIS and their ilk, or anything that is going on in any foreign country where innocent people are being terrorized and murdered. But let someone hurt one animal in the wild…POW! Let’s string that lion-murderer up and teach HIM a lesson, why don’t we!!!!! Makes me sick.
Obama has committed an act of treason against this country, and in my opinion, should be impeached immediately.
The mosquito is clearly coming to assault its victim. It therefore is a rodeif!
Mod 100 is correct.
Forgive me, but if anyone is saying that the Torah is missing or had letters added that Hashem did not instruct Moshe Rabeinu to write down, then I think we might have a bigger problem than mathematics. Perhaps I am very naive, but all my life I have had the rock solid belief that the Torah is the exact one we received at Har Sinai.
I think Esty’s name is Esther Mindel has Gittel Miriam.
Guys,please do not ever say,”Oh my!” on a date or anywhere else!
Golfer, thank you for the kind words and APB. I was slightly out of commission recently with a back problem and other assorted time grabbers,so I didn’t get to the computer so frequently. I actually originally typed “incredibly arrogant” but THAT sounded incredibly arrogant…or ME! I just feel that in the zechus of the coming yahrtzeit of Aharon HaKohein Gadol, that we should strive to be more like him, seeking for sholom bein Adam l’chaveiro, rather than for a concept of to whom am I spiritually superior today? The second Bayis was destroyed because of people who didn’t GET that, and we are
not all that different nearly 2,000 years later.
Anyone whose taivah is so great that the horrifying emergency and trauma of saving a drowning woman would bring out a yetzer hara for him is clearly someone with much more serious problems than one can address here in the CR! Let him save the woman and then contemplate working on his yetzer.
A job requiring MUSCLES probably needs a man’s touch. Sometimes a patient is too heavy for a female nurse to lift, sometimes it really is more tzniusdig for a male to be involved in the medical care of another male, IF POSSIBLE. I realize that there are heterim for medical care to be done by one gender for the other, but where possible, it’s really nice to have the option to avoid any issue of tznius all other things being equal.
However, there is absolutely no reason for women to not be able to pursue a career in any field of study that they choose. Especially in view of the fact that many of the husbands are benefitting from the higher income their wives are generating in those less female-traditional job markets, it behooves men to refrain from complaining.
Personally, I am a very old-fashioned lady who believes men should make the parnassah and moms should be home raising their kids properly, something which I do not see too often these days. Unfortunately that seems to be unrealistic in this day and age, but it certainly is not the ideal situation. So if women are already of necessity forced into the workplace,let it be THEIR decision where they want to work and in what field their interests lie. Computer software is not in the sole purview of men.
Only Hashem knows and cheshbons our ultimate sachar. It is not for us to decide that one person is ever so slightly more favored in His eyes because he drank cholov Yisroel or said extra Tehillim, or gave a dollar more to Tzedaka than someone else, or wore black and white, etc. etc. You and I do not really know what His cheshbonos are and in my very humble opinion, it is a tiny bit arrogant to make assumptions in this area. I have some other thoughts as well but am keeping them to myself.
It’s just as wrong for a Jew to be racist as it is for a non-Jew to be antisemitic. “
RebYidd23, I disagree with you, respectfully of course, as you compare apples with oranges. People who are anti-Semitic, traditionally are so, simply because we are Jews. Esav Sonei Es Yaakov. Halacha l’maaseh
When a Jew is racist, it is usually because of the reports of violent crimes that are publicized,or a bad personal experience we might have had, and/or something negative we have repeatedly observed being done by a group of the people who evoke “racist” feelings in us. That is something that is based in reality.
Most Jews are hated by non-Jews for no reason other than the fact that they are Jews. And though tragically there are Jews who commit Chillulei Hashem, there are far fewer of them than the majority of people whom we fear to see walking down a dark street at night. I would still feel safer running into Bernie Madoff, than into OJ Simpson. If that makes me a racist, so be it. I am sick and tired of politically correct sycophants. When I see Muslim women walk down the streets of our mostly Jewish neighborhood, my first thought (I am sorry to say) is that I hope she doesn’t have explosives under her burqa. I feel this way for a very sound reason – their proven track record. Racism? Some people call it profiling or common sense.
It’s just as wrong for a Jew to be racist as it is for a non-Jew to be antisemitic. “
RebYidd23, I disagree with you, respectfully of course, as you compare apples with oranges. People who are anti-Semitic, traditionally are so, simply because we are Jews. Esav Sonei Es Yaakov. Halacha l’maaseh
When a Jew is racist, it is usually because of the reports of violent crimes that are publicized,or a bad personal experience we might have had, and/or something negative we have repeatedly observed being done by a group of the people who evoke “racist” feelings in us. That is something that is based in reality.
Most Jews are hated by non-Jews for no reason other than the fact that they are Jews. And though tragically there are Jews who commit Chillulei Hashem, there are far fewer of them than the majority of people whom we fear to see walking down a dark street at night. I would still feel safer running into Bernie Madoff, than into OJ Simpson. If that makes me a racist, so be it. I am sick and tired of politically correct sycophants. When I see Muslim women walk down the streets of our mostly Jewish neighborhood, my first thought (I am sorry to say) is that I hope she doesn’t have explosives under her burqa. I feel this way for a very sound reason – their proven track record. Racism? Some people call it profiling or common sense.
I work hard enough in MY house, thank you very much!
Sorry Reb Yidd, but you err. There is NOTHING cute about an infestation of ANY type. Spiders especially gross me out, yet I am the designated de facto spider-getter-rid-of-er. We once had an infestation of triangular shaped small flies in my shower. I had no idea where they were coming from, but they were there in copious numbers AND leaving larvae on the shower floor, whioh I discovered to my dismay.
Apparently it was something going on in other homes as well and whatever I tried did not work for nearly a year! Finally I got the brilliant to pour a gallon size bottle of Clorox down my shower drain. Never saw another one again. Liquid Plumber and Draino, btw, did NOT do the trick, prior to that.
I am literally TERRIFIED of roaches, and have rarely seen them in my house in 26 years kinehora (though our old apartment was another story entirely), but we have once in a shmitta seen HUGE weird looking beetles, bigger than Israeli jukes, almost the size of a mouse, and that sent me screaming for my husband (my son actually took care of it). I know HAshem has a purpose for ALL of His creatures, but just keep them away from me. PLEASE!
Not buying German items IS an emotional issue. But then, I do not get why we buy ANY products that are non-Jewish. There is not a country in the world that has not tried to expel or even kill Jews en masse. Jews should not use products made by ANY of these countries, based on that line of reasoning alone. And no, I have not yet been able to bring myself to buy German made products (though supposedly they are the best), but then maybe we should not buy French perfume or couture, either. Or shop in the Arab Shuk. Or drink English tea. Or travel (thereby enriching their tourist trade)to Italy or any other country that sanctioned the murder of Jews.
The Germans were not the first, nor unfortunately will they be the last, to try to decimate the Jewish People.This is an emotionally difficult and painful issue, but we nonetheless tend to side with the “don’t buy German” aspect of it.
These “holidays” were invented in order to enrich the Card Companies, in my humble opinion. And guess what? I DON’T MIND A BIT, even if that IS the case! I only wish my parents were still with me, so I could treat them especially lovingly on these respctive two days. As much kovod as we show our parents, it can never be enough, and I for one, am happy to have had that additional opportunity to make the days extra-special for them.
I have not read the replies yet, only the topic. Morality absolutely IS relative. TORAH morality is not, however, and is absolute and for all time. Once upon a time it was considered immoral for two men to be a couple. Now, given the relative morality of the times, there are people who believe it is immoral for them to NOT be allowed to be a married couple.
Only a Torah-observant Jew or Noachide-law observant non-Jew is empirically (did I use that correctly?) moral. Everyone else does what they THINK is morally correct, subject to the times in which they live, and of course what one person thinks is correct, ain’t necessarily so.
Have you tried Lane Bryant or Sizes Woman?
Perhaps some yissurim are a kapara for that individual person. But I do not believe that every single time someone gets sick, has an accident,loses a job or all his money, or R”L dies, that it was because of davka something that specific person did. Maybe sometimes it is, but not always, as plenty of wonderful people who are YAREI ELOKIM have miserable lives. We believe that even cutting one’s finger is a siman from Shamayim. But perhaps it is because of someone ELSE’S misdeeds, that such actions bring about the presence of evil in the world, and some of us are collateral damage when onesh is being meted out.
May none of us require hospitalization, except to have babies or see our brand new aineklach!
TY, DY ! 🙂
It’s so ironic that polygamy only refers to MEN marrying more than one spouse. I guarantee you if the situation were reversed, the men would be up in arms!
I would be opposed to it. The Torah doesn’t asser it, but neither does it encourage it. It only defines the Halachos that are required to be fulfilled when there IS a second wife.
This really was one. My mom and we got up from shiva for my dad O”H 22 years ago, and the next day (she was staying at my house for a few days), she passed out with virtually undetectible blood sugar readings. We called Hatzalah, may they always be blessed), and they took her to the nearest hospital in acute insulin shock.
Her immediate need was to get a Glucose drip into her IV. My sister and I were both with her, and we noticed that liquid was pooling around her sheet on the side of the IV line. When we investigated, we saw immediately that the IV line was not connected proprerly and everything was leaking out.
We called this to the attention of the nurses, and sure enough the IV was not giving her any fluids, much less the much-needed sugar. The nurse became enraged at us for catching this glaring error, which COULD HAVE KILLED MY MOTHER at that time, and they would have blamed it on the fact that her sugar was too low when she was brought in. Once she was given the proper Glucose, she rallied within a very short time, but we were no longer allowed inside to be with her. My mom’s ROV had arrived by this time, and he made a tzimmes over our being kicked out, when our father had just died there the previous week (NOT the hospital’s fault), so they kicked the ROV out, too. There is more to the story, but it is upsetting me just thinking about this. My mom was nifteres five months later, also not as a result of anything to do with the hospital.
I made a yummy pareve cheesecake with three containers of tofutti “better than cream cheese” one Tofutti “sour cream,” 4 eggs, two tsp vanilla, a TBS of cornstarch and a cup of sugar. I mixed it all then melted a bag of pareve chocolate chips and added it to about a third to half of the batter. I poured both of the alternating batters into grahama cracker crusts (enough for 2 pies, one of them a deep dish one), then cut through them with a knife, to marbleize the batter, and baked at 350 until there was just a very slight jiggle in the center of the pie (don’t recall how long that was, but check after 45 minutes). I shut the oven, left the cake in for another 1/2 – 3/4 hour, and then took it out to continue cooling on a rack, after which I chilled it overnight. HUGE hit!!!!! My son who will NOT eat cheesecake, ate TWO large slices of the pareve one.
If someone cannot take the time to write a simple thank you note, perhaps the giver does not have the time to go to the store to buy the gift or take out a pen to write a check. There are plenty of inexpensive TY notes or buy a pack of pretty paper(100 to the pack) and make your own. It does not have to cost much. That’s a poor argument (pun intended).
It really is NOT enough to say an obligatory thank you at the wedding especially when you have no idea what the gift is, until you open it. Young people have time for every naarishkeit these days. Its not too much to ask them to show that they are makir tov. If you can not show appreciation to people for doing one nice thing your you, how can you show it to HShem who is CONSTANTLY doing for you?
My sweet chicken. I just pour duck sauce a packet of onion soup mix, garlic and cinnamon over chicken parts, cover and bake until fork tender. Uncover, shut the oven off and leave the chicken browning in the residual heat. Easy as can be but looks like lots of work went into it
Yes, DY, of course learning Torah sharpens the mind, but learning and getting educated are not necessarily mutually exclusive. People benefit from both, especially the kollel guys whose WIVES are supporting them thanks to their own education.
Frum Zionism exists today, however, and to lump ALL Tzionim with the ones of whom you disapprove from nearly 7 decades ago, is really inappropriate. The frum people who are settling in E”Y have brought with them many positive things, and there are more Yeshivos with kids from all over the world, than ever before. And before you write off the secular zionists, THEY gave blood, sweat, and tears to build up E”Y. They may have been lacking in some significant aspects of Yiddishkeit, but their love OF and devotion TO the LAND was never in question. They deserve better than the contempt in which they are held by some people who never could or would have done what they did. Were the secularists’ actions the ideal? No. But it surely was a start.
No they are not, because studying for exams helps to sharpen the mind, which helps one to learn Torah better. Taking exams helps the mind to focus and reason things out (especially with multiple choice questions), a talent that comes in very handy when studying Gemorah where one needs to be able to reason things out. Anyone who thinks it is bittul Torah, has probably not considered that ALL aspects of life teach us something that enables us to appreciate limud Torah even more. Maybe one should not sit outside and smell the flowers or enjoy the pleasant day, either (though that is a way of reflecting upon the concept of “mah rabbu maasecha, Hashem).
I totally disagree with anyone who thinks otherwise. And besides, most people need an education simply in order to make a parnasssah. Not all of us have rich shvers, and even if we did, what is the NEXT generation after our kids going to do when the rich shver is gone, and their kids don’t want get a secular education, either?
The dumb song I knew as a child, was marezeydotes and dozedotes. I am NOT reprinting it. And foirget about the fee wittle fishies that fam and fam all over the dam.
Poster, I changed the last two lines of Rockabye baby davka because it sounded so nasty. I sing to my grandchildren, “when the bough breaks, the cradle won’t fall, ki Hashem Elokeinu Shomer al hakol.”
There IS a mitzvah on the Mann. Its the lechem mishneh that we have on shabbos for hamotzee.
Oomis, TY for your lesson in moral relativism. So how far does one go with this nonsense? “
Avi, I am not talking about nonsense, I am speaking to the issue of how the parents of this girl feel. Right or wrong, it is a reality that this is a problem for these parents, and thus, also for the girl and the OP. Don’t shoot the messenger, for pointing out a hard truth. We may want to be more politically correct, and it is morally proper to NOT be racist, but the reality is that many parents feel exactly the way that this girl’s parents do.
I advocated for my close friend, who DID marry someone of another race. Her parents were violently opposed to the shidduch and her mother begged me to “talk some sense into her.” I told her that it was not my place nor would I be comfortable to shterr a shidduch; she was old enough to make up her own mind,and that the fellow was very nice and good to her. They also threw out the mixed race grandkids card. I understand that. B”H their grandkids are all gorgeous and made great shidduchim themselves, though they clearly are racially mixed. What is ideal is not the same thing as what is the metzius of frum life.
You cannot force people to change how they honestly feel about shidduchim that are outside their comfort zone, like it or not, right or wrong. Hopefully, after a couple gets married and kids DO come along, the parents can come to appreciate the marriage and the family that has been created from it.
I married a Baal Teshuva. Many folks of my parents’ generation did not want their children who were FFB to date someone whose parents were not frum. Did that make them “frum”-ists (I can’t think of another word to describe religious chauvinists)? I don’t believe so. My parents indeed would have preferred for me to marry a boy from a frum family, machetonim with whom they would have potentially (though it is not always the case even with a frum other side)had something in common other than the children. Fortunately they saw what I SAW, when they met my husband to be, who was one of the kindest and most derech-eretzdig people I have ever known. He was a great son to both his parents and mine and my parents loved him dearly and he, them.
That is not always the case, and not every parent can adapt as easily. While Politically Correct people will say the skin color/race should not matter (and it shouldn’t), it somehow DOES to many people, and they should not be castigated for their feelings. Just as we would want them tp understand how the OP feels, so too should the OP and others who have supported his position understand how THEY feel. Neither side is wrong for their feelings IN THIS CASE. What may be wrong is how people act and react to their feelings. I wish there were an easy and ready solution.
A nine year old is a NINE year old! How on earth SHOULD she feel????? She didn’t ask your you to bring in her replacement (and that is probably exactly how she feels). It’s a truly noble thing you have done,but she is your first priority. Please don’t let her get lost in the shuffle. Chessed is a wonderful and meaningful thing, but not when it comes on the “plaitzes” of your own very young child, who BTW, will not leave you as an empty nester B”EH for many years. You could all benefit from family counseling, in my opinion. I do admire your generous spirit that impelled you to do this.
SIDI – I make chicken Marsala (my own recipe concoction), with chicken cutlets that I dredge in flour or potato starch seasoned with kosher salt, black pepper, a little rosemary and basil, and minced garlic. Meanwhile, I saute a medium chopped onion and either sliced fresh or canned mushrooms in some oil in a large frying pan. When they are soft and golden, remove to a disposable plate, shake off the excess flour on the cutlets and saute them in the pan in a little more oil until golden on each side (this takes longer with potato starch, as it browns more slowly, so you will not get as deep a color on it as with flour). Add the onions and mushrooms back in, a little more kosher salt, basil, garlic and pepper if needed, and pour a small bottle of marsala cooking wine (I use Kedem cooking wines)over it cover and let it simmer on a low flame until the wine has reduced to a nice sauce. Check for doneness, as each cutlet’s thickness might be different from mine (I use thin cutlets). It cooks quickly and can be reheated in the oven if you make it in advance. This serves beautifully over rice or quinoa. My family loves this, and you can control the amount of fat you use to saute everything, as well as the spices. Any alcohol burns off as it simmers. Enjoy.
I think that we all need to cash a reality check. We live in a society that generally does not seek to mix the races in marriage. The non-Jewish world has changed somewhat over the last decades in this regard, but the Orthodox Jewish world has not.
It is not racist to be realistic about acknowledging the potential and VERY real problems that might be faced by a racially-mixed couple, ESPECIALLY when the parents disapprove. Marriage is hard enough under the best of circumstances. Whatever the young woman believes about possibly wanting to marry the OP, a few years down the line her parents’ feelings may have a very strong negative impact on her. Any children born of this relationship, will potentially be the innocent victims of their grandparents’ disapproval. This isn’t something to be undertaken lightly.
And by the way, not every man is a Rabbi Akiva. Not every story of parental objection is so easy to dismiss as being the irrational hatred of a Kalba Savua. I hope the OP and his girlfriend, seek competent and compassionate advice. I wish you both luck.