oomis

This IS about shidduchim, and every person has a shidduch meant for him,/her. Sometimes the person misses out because their zivug was not shayach for being “too short, too poor, too fat, too quiet, too plain,not a big enough learner, not a big enough earner, and any of the other million reasons why someone refuses to go out with someone and truly get to know that person well. Hashem called out our zivugim 40 days before we were born. It does’t mean we were all smart enough to follow His directive.

I am not reading through the responses yet. I want you simply to ask yourself how important this job is to you. If you really want it, then PLEASE be a team player and be called by your first name. There was NO such thing as last names centuries ago, when we were more formal, and no one seemed to be concerned that it was a problem. If you insist on the formality that some people might advise you to do, claiming halachic or tzniusdig issues, (wrongly, in my humble opinion), then you will alienate everyone in your office and create an atmosphere of “I’m better than you are.” You will never comfortably hold on to a job with that type of a perceived attitude, people don’t like to feel you hold yourself higher.

If this were a more formal office, then you would be correct to expect the additional respect of being called Miss/Mrs. Whatever. But that is not the case in this office or in MOST offices today, so stop worrying so much about it, be called Sora, Rivka,Rochel, Leah, or whatever your name is, in the spirit in which EVERYONE is referred to by their given names, or do not take the job if it will bother you so much.

To be candid, most jobs will expect you to be a little more easygoing in this matter, so don’t be put off by that. Don’t compromise halachic issues in the office, like kashrus (when everyone is going out to the local deli or bar after work), or tznius issues (keep the men at a clear boundary), but your name is not one of those issues, unless someone is referring to you as “Honey” or “Sweetheart,” in which case you could gently say, My name is “Ploni.”

DY, a person may ask any number of rabbonim for their professional eitzah/opinion, but only one Rov for a p’sak.

maybe the Tallis is symbolic of the chuppah itself or the idea of the bayis ne’eman that now surrounds him…?

If you could post a name and address for the Yeshivah, perhaps checks could be mailed there directly with ” for your Talmid Ari” in the memo. I feel a little uncomfortable calling the Yeshivah to speak to your Rov, but I would like to help.

No, sorry smartstar. I am not from around there. BTW, you should probably be tested for CELIAC. It can present with gastric distress (though not caused by meat, but rather by the gluten found in many foods, like bread, cake, even certain medications that contain flour-based starch as a binder or in the coating).

We once had a mouse after some construction that was being done next door to us, and the mouse was caught and disposed of. I felt awful for a LONG time after seeing that sight, but I could not bring myself to touch and remove it. I had to scream for my son to come with gloves and a body bag. YUCK, EEEEWWWWWWW, and ICK GEFERLACH!

I always believed it to be that I am welcoming the Shabbos, bringing it closer and closer until I finally make the bracha and it’s here!

Why choose? They are both absolutely revolting. Anything tiny that can run faster than I, makes me nauseous. I am sure Hashem had a good purpose in mind for creating vermin (Dovid Hamelech and the spider…), but honestly, both roaches AND mice – I can do without.

Oomis, your 5th bday is coming up! “

Oy, how I wish!!!! Five was an AWESOME year for me!!!

Instead of trivia – fascinating Torah factoids

TR meat is good. We have it in our local store, and I have not bought a bad cut yet.

If it looks like a duck… When I am forced to pay it off my paycheck – it is still a “tax” and not a premium. I CHOOSE where to pay my insurance premiums.

“Artiste: First, men do not “have to have children”, it is a positive commandment that if fulfilled results in gaining a mitzvah. Not having children is not a transgression of this. Its merely non commission”

I thought that the mitzvah to have children, being incumbent on the men, comes with the LO SAASEH of not using any male form of birth control (as opposed to women, who can get a heter for certain forms of birth control under certain circumstances). It therefore stands to reason that men DO have to have children. They might not get an aveira for being unable to, but they surely are not permitted to prevent themselves from doing so.

Mazal, you really need to re-read my post. I did not say what you seem to think I said. In fact, my very first sentence says that I am NOT commenting on whether or not someone should have children or not, when there is a genetic disease. I specifically said they should consult with halachic and medical authorities, especially in a case where there is a clear propensity to such disorders.

I absolutely did NOT say ANYTHING WHATSOEVER about whether or not such a person should get married (where on earth did you get that from?). The whole purpose of Dor Yesharim is to help couples to get married in a genetically safer way so that they can have the best chance to produce healthy children BE”H. As to the miracle statement, are you telling me that what our Chachomim said about not relying on miracles, should be disregarded? I didn’t make that phrase up out of my head.

Please do not presume to know what health issues my family and I might have or not have. Everyone has his/her share of tzoros, even if they do not advertise them. Hashem should help all of us to have healthy children and grandchildren.

Without really knowing the details, and assuming that the student truly changed and sincerely asked for mechilah, I believe it is absolutely awful on the part of the teacher to do this. No matter WHAT the student did, the teacher at this point should not be speaking loshon hara about something that occurred in the past. Unless the teacher has reason to believe that the student has really NOT changed, there is no purpose served by bad-mouthing him or her.

My son took his then soon to be kallah to a restaurant they liked, and hired a magician to do magic tricks at their table. He had him take a bunch of beads with letters on them and “magically” turn them into a bracelet for her that read (_______ will you marry me). She was really touched. That was 11 years ago. I like creative proposals.

My son-in-law took my daughter to a planetarium museum on Long Island, and they saw the lights show with the beautiful planets and stars, after which he led her to a previously-prepared by him collation for two with roses and wine, and proposed to her. That was almost 7 years ago.

Although the separate seating issue DOES lend itself to not needing the spouse at the wedding, nontheless, the spouse SHOULD be invited, and will most likely decline anyway, for the reason of not knowing anyone there except his/her spouse. OR, the couple can elect to attend a smorg and chuppah only. There is nothing obsolete in being socially considerate.

PLEASE do not listen to bad and/or rude advice. The spouse of your friend is ALSO your friend and should be invited. Only exception might be the spouse of a co-worker,if you are not personally acquainted with that spouse. In that case, the spouse would probably not attend, anyway. But you asked about FRIENDS. It is not their fault that you married after they did.

No matter what your mother does or dos not do now, if you were born to a woman who was misgayeres k’halacha, you were born a Jew, and a Jew you will always be. If there is a doubt as to the validity of her own conversion, you should seek competent halachic authority to tell you what you might need to do. I know someone in a similar type situation, where there was a safeik on the mother, so the man (who had become a baal teshuvah) underwent hatafa (a drop of blood, in lieu of circumcision, as he already was circumcised as an infant), and tevila, just so there would be no doubt on him.

Panim chadoshos are exactly that. New faces. they can be new because they are strangers, or new because they were unable to be mesameach at the actual chasunah. Minhag or Halacha, it is always nice to be machnis orchim on behalf of the chosson and kallah.

Tehillim? Always a good idea. How about davening for someone ELSE’S sister to get married? We believe that when one davens on behalf of someone else, and is in need of the very same thing, Hashem gives the davener what he or she needs first.

It’s a great way to bond with his students, while at the same time keeping a close eye on them. It tells them that their rebbie is a human being, who can spend enjoyable time with them outside of the learning environment. If he has a good voice and can play guitar, noch besser.

NOW I am really itchy! Ahh, the power of suggestion! The nits MUST be removed carefully OUTSIDE your house preferably, but if inside, spread out a plastic disposable table cloth over the area where you are checking. This is a TEDIOUS and time-consuming process. Don’t try to rush it, or you will miss some nits and they will hatch, thereby restarting the whole cycle. Nits look like pearlized droplets on the hair – very easy to miss unless you check every strand.

We went through this once many years ago. When some kids go away on trips outside the country or even summer camp, the places where they go are not so makpid about lice control, so the kids come back from winter recess or summer camp with head lice. They spread like wildfire. One louse can lay a LOT of eggs (nits). The follow up needs to be done for a few weeks. Oiling th head thoroughly helps to smother the live lice, but does nothing for the nits. I have heard a mayonnaise conditioning treatment helps to kill the lice AND make nit removal easier.

Whatever you do, now is the one time you are applauded for nit-picking.

I didn’t like Shmulks, but West Hempstead has Wing Wan, which is quite good, and the Five Towns has Cho-Sen Island, which has outstanding service, as well as good food.