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(women rely)… more on intuition “
Interesting that you point that out. That is an advantage that Hashem gave to women. It is why Hashem told Avraham Avinu to listen to all that his wife told him to do, because Sara’s Binah Yesaira told her that Yishmael would always be a danger to Yitzchak. It is why Rivka encouraged Yaakov to pretend to be Esav. She knew intuitively that Esav could never be the father of klal Yisroel, even as Yitzchal logically expected him to be, because “tzayid b’feev.” It is the reason that Rochel sought to hide her father’s terafim, because they were detrimental to the spirituality and kedusha of her family.
Women have throughout our history, proven to have the right instincts and intuition. It is because usually, women are better at reading subtle facial and other physical signals that people give off unconsciously, and at making quick decisions based on those signals. Men do NOT typically have this ability to the same degree, specifically BECAUSE they are more linear and so-called logical in their thinking.
It was specifically about him being harmless at the moment”
But yet, he IS like an out of control vehicle, which is unpredictable in where and when it will strike. Ted Bundy looked not only harmless to his innumerable innocent victims, but actually ATTRACTIVE and sometimes even helpless. Let’s stop talking naarishkeit and get real.
I get that there are some liberal thinkers among us. Perhaps they believe in rehabilitation of these sociopaths also.
This is simply not true. Having committed murder in the past does not give one the status of a rodef, and no one is allowed to kill a murderer. The reason a baby may be considered a rodef is because it is currently, definitely endangering the mother’s life. Assuming that someone wants to kill you just because they’ve killed in the past is also incorrect. “
LAB, I could only hope that you and I are not in the room with this guy together. You’d get us both killed. He IS a rodeif, in the manner in which I described MY personal scenario. He has MURDERED repeatedly, and if he were coming toward me (as I specifically stated being the circumstance which would cause me to shoot), you can bet he would be looking to make me his next victim.
Stop being so politically correct, your idealism is misplaced IMO. Halacha DOES say differently. If someone is coming to kill you, you are supposed to get up EARLY to kill him first, according to what I learned in Yeshivah when I was a kid. A SERIAL killer will continue to kill until he is stopped permanently. And even with incarceration, he will find a way to kill there as well. It is a compulsion, a blood lust, and even if considered a mental illness, which is very tragic, the crucial thing is to prevent him from causing further harm to others. Killing him, seems to be a pretty safe bet on that score. And I am the person who cannot stand to step on a bug! But sometimes you have to go against your nature for the better good.
I guess you are against the death penalty also?
“Oddly, for years, the Ramba”m only learned and didn’t work.”
Until the day his mother was finally able to talk proudly about “My son, the Doctor!” 🙂
And he STILL managed to make time to learn, and even write Seforim! What a concept!
Oomis: Thanks for your personal opinion on the complex halachic matter of what constitutes a rodef. I’ll write an angry letter to the Rambam ‘
No need, LAB – – a rodeif is someone who is out to murder you (or someone else). If a serial killer were in a closed room with me, and I knew for a fact that the person WAS the killer, and he or she was coming towards me, I know it would not be to discuss the Rambam. In the moment, one tends not to take out a Sefer to consult what to do. An innocent baby in a its laboring mother, can under certain circumstances be considered a rodeif – I think a serial murderer surely must be one.
ben – the son of…
bein – son
The question is does a serial killer have the Din of a Rodeif.”
Of COURSE he is a rodeif. He already killed several people. Why would you think twice about killing to defend yourself? BUT – he would have to be coming toward me even after I would have warned him to back off, first. Even without a convenional weapon, many serial killers, murder with their bare hands. In that scenario, and assuming I knew how to shoot the gun and not accidentally kill MYSELF, I wouldn’t hesitate even one second to shoot. Hashem should spare us all from ever being tested in such a gruesome manner.
Interesting point, Rebdoniel. Also, some people think cholent comes from the romance languages root for heat. In Spanish it would be “caliente” I think, which definitely sounds like cholent. If you take the first three letters of caliente, C A L, you get “cal” which in Hebrew means ALL, so here’s a little further extrapolation of your own drush.
You have my permission to groan, now…
Why does it often go with alexander? “
Which brings up another point. Alexander is mamesh the name of a GOY, but it is in common use for Jews. Why? Because he was good to the Jews. So was King Koresh, but you don’t find too many Jewish people by that name.
We have them, too. Except for in Egypt, they are very cute…
Goq, thanks anyway. One of THE best chocolate cake recipes is right on the back of a Hershy’s cocoa canister. If memory serves, it’s pareve, but if not, we always made it pareve, and that’s how I recall it (if that turns out to be the recipe your mom made, that would be really funny).
That reminds me of an episode of a tv comedy where the entire joke was around one main character trying to duplicate the amazing cookie recipe of another character’s late grandma. It was apparently supposededly a secret French recipe. After baking a gazillion batches of delicious cookies but all were “just not quite how grandma made them,” the hapless cookie baker, discovered that her friend’s “nezlay toulouseh” special cookie recipe was on the back of a Nestle’s Tollhouse chocolate chips package, which by the way, IMO ARE the best chocolate chip cookie recipe I have ever tasted. (Now we use certified pareve chips, as Nestles were made dairy or DE several years ago).
So, does that mean when we layn Torah or megillah, we might be mispronouncing things that are not permitted to be said incorrectly?
Give fungus a break. It has to live SOMEWHERE!
Yiddish names are listed In the beis shmuel at the end of hilchois gittin. “
When the Gemarah was written down, there was no such thing as Yiddish. Names written in the Beis Shmuel have nothing to do with Gemarah per se. That is not a ra’ayah.
I wonder of Pia is in any way derived from Puah (though the Italian “pious” does make sense also, as many Jews lived in Italy).
I am literally SICK from this discussion, and feel very creeped out. Mice are NOT cute.
He was a Sonei Yisroel and pro-Palestinian, so as far as I am concerned, there is nothing further needed to say about him, even if there were other things that he might have done that were “noble” in some way. As far as we Jews might be concerned, he was not someone who deserves our admiration. His wife Winnie was even worse than he.
Amein. Sharp, that is probably the absolutely sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you very, very much for that beautiful bracha. My grandchildren B”H and bli ayin hara, give us a great deal of nachas. We just attended my eldest ainekel’s Chumash play today, and it was an amazing and meaningful experience, beyond words.
Chcham, that is precisely why I did not give my children Yiddish names (or English, either), but only in Loshon Kodesh. My Rov ZT”L said it was preferable to name the Loshon Kodesh version of a name when giving a name for someone whose actual name was Yiddish. So i.e., if I were naming for a Hershel, I would have called a boy Tzvi. I GET that Yiddish was a great unifier among European Jewry, but so is English today. So should we abandon naming our kids in Hebrew, and call them solely by English names, just because so much Torah is now disseminated uin English?
Oomis, why is Yitzchok eisik any different than Shlomo Zalman or even Osher Zelig?
It’s not really, it’s just that Yitzchak IS Isaac, and sounds like it. The other names might have the same meaning, but do NOT sound like each other.
Where would you go about finding such a picture? (B”H we have no rats OR mice, but we did have, once upon a time when major construction was being done next door to us). Sounds like a scarecrow, l’havdil.
good gezunt. “
Oops in my haste, I actually misread, gezunt for gezugt. Oh well, I can use a bracha or a compliment, either way. 🙂
My friend sent me pics. HOW GORGEOUS IS THAT?????????]
I am surprised to hear you say that. Why should they put so much money in to resources for something that so rarely happens?”
SYAG, I bet the people who put no money into protection from a rare hurricane flooding and surges, would answer differently.
Lentils? Seriously???? Chacun a son gout…
I guess it would be because Shabbos is full of fleishig meals, so it’s just nice to do milchigs the night before. It ain’t Halacha or even minhag. As to Pizza on Motzai Shabbos – what else ya gonna eat? Do you really want to prepare ANOTHER meal?
PS I usually have Cheerios and milk after Shabbos.
My father O”H once came to my daughter’s kindergarten class, as part of a generational program. He was there to speak about Torah Klafim that he rescued during the Holocaust. Neither of my parents was a survivor, my dad came here when he was about 12 and my mom was born here. So his perspective was of a soldier fighting the Nazis.
So how does one explain the Holocaust to 4 and five year old children? He started off by asking them if they knew who Pharaoh was. He asked them to tell him about what kinds of “mean things” Pharaoh did to Bnei Yisroel, and several children offered their version of “slavery” to him. Then he asked them if they knew who Haman and Antiochus were, and of course they all raised their hands, and so forth.
THEN, he said that not so very long ago a man named Hitler was just like Pharaoh, Haman, and Antiochus, and he tried to be very mean to the Yidden. He didn’t like that they learned the Torah, he didn’t like that they did mitzvos. He made them live in tiny houses and didn’t let the children go out to play. He didn’t let them have enough food to eat. THIS was something the kids could understand and relate to without encumbering them with nightmarish thoughts.
He brought out the Klafim (which are encased in Lucite, and showed them how the bad men drew pictures all over the holy Sefer Torah, and then cut it up into smaller pieces. This too, they understood as being very, very wrong. He finished off by telling them that Hashem helped the Yidden and the soldiers to stop the bad people, just like the Chashmonaim. They got a little bit of modern Jewish history, appropriate to their age and understanding, without frightening them.
Little Froggie – I agree, as I do not believe in being insulting to people, either, but a president is supposed to be a LEADER, and he has shown absolutely ZERO leadership in ALL areas, much less GOOD leadership, in the last several years. I respect the office he holds, but I have nothing positive to say about the man who holds that office at this time. Obviously Hashem wanted him to be US President. I can only pray that we find out, and soon, what possible good can come out of his re-election.
Miritchka, try portabella mushrooms, prepared and broiled, exactly as you would make a broiled steak. If you like steak, you will enjoy this, too.
I think that we have to be careful when we do Yiddish fairytales, because so much of that fantasy might be against Torah, i.e. writing about witches. But I am going to give this a LOT of thought, and see what and if I can come up with. Just a thought – was Goldy Lox, NOT Jewish?????????
TY, Miritchka.
Oomis, totally agree, as long as they are jewish and kosher and do not have bad ideas mixed in… “
The world is not only comprised of kosher Jews, or even only Jews. Our kids need to be brought up prepared to deal with the outside world and withstand some of the “bad ideas” they will likely encounter. They need the tools to prepare them for this, and reading a wide variety of literature can help to innoculate them.
The best thing a parent can do, is read to and WITH his/her children. When encountering something questionable, that is a wonderful educational moment, and can jumpstart a great lesson for the future.
When I read or told over the story of Goldilocks to my then three-year old granddaughter, I used that story to illustrate how naughty and dangerous it can be for a child to wander off without parental knowledge and permission. I asked my granddaughter did she think Goldilocks did a good thing or bad thing to go into someone’s house when they were not home, and use their things. At age three, she was able to tell me, “No Bubby, that was very bad. Her mommy should give her a time-out.” I asked her what she would say if she were making up this story, and she told me, she would ask her mommy for permission to visit the bears, and ask her to please call them up, see if it was ok to come over, and then take her there. And then she would make brachos on the porridge, because Goldilocks forgot to say Borei Minei Mezonos. (Yes, she really was ONLY three at the time. She is kinehora a very bright child). But I digress…
Anything has the potential to be good and bad, and children’s literature is no different. We are adults, and it is up to us to get our children to have a healthy, but well-rounded view of their world. We do not live in a glass bubble.
Tzaddiq, thank you, very kindly. And I can ALWAYS use a bracha for good gezunt. 🙂
Oomis, you’re very lucky that when you dated the boy your Rebbetzin suggested, he took his yarmulke off. A lot of people with serious problems (religious issues, health issues, emotional issues and others) don’t make such a clear display of them on a first date (or unfortunately sometimes even a tenth date).”
I agree, but he was her mishpacha, and she had every reason to expect that religiously he was as she remembered him. If someone close to our family, but who had not seen us in a few years, were to call me about one of my children and ask if he or she was still shomer Shabbos and mitzvos, I would be highly offended. She had no reason to suspect her nephew was doing such a thing. Once I mentioned “hashkafic issues” and she knew he certainly had not gone more Yeshivish, she came to realize that his behavior bore greater scrutiny before setting him up with anyone else.
The OP ONLY mentioned the name to the girl. It was up to the girl to check things out further, if that was her wish. Certainly she should have NO tainah to the OP, who in my opinion, was very caring to think of her friend, even if it might not have been so shayach in the end. That’s because it just as easily MIGHT have been VERY shayach!!! I wish people would stop standing on ceremony and being insulted all the time by people who are usually well-intentioned. The road to Olam Haba is paved with good intentions.
oomis: where can i get a simmer ring? I put up my cholent on Friday morning so it is completely cooked by 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Would that affect the texture/taste the way you make it?”
You should be able to get them (I always put one over each burner before laying the blech down, so the blech is raised uniformly above the stovetop), at any variety store. This is a commonly-used item. it makes a double boiler out of any pot. I believe it is called “heat diffuser,” and it looks like a half inch thick 8″ round metal shmurah matzah with a long wooden handle. I would imagine that most people who use this, buy it in order to have the double-boiler effect, and not because they have a blech. It is a secularly-made item.
The thickness of the disc raises it above the heat sufficiently to mimic the amount of heat a pot would get when immersed in a double boiler (gentle heat, in other words), so things tend NOT to scorch or overheat, when the disc is over a low flame. Add a blech on top and you have a kli sheini or shlishi (never sure which), and the pot goes over THAT. I bet they even sell it in the housewares department of most major stores. If you visit the Five Towns, there is a store called The Variety Connection on Central Avenue, that definitely has it.
I cannot from personal experience, speak to the issue of how putting a fully cooked pot of cholent would be affected, but I imagine it would be exactly the same, as long as there is enough water in the pot before Shabbos, so it doesn’t cook out too much.
Being a carrier of genes is less worse a problem than carrying bad middos. If the guy has a good heart, and a clear torah head, then yes I would marry them. Life is short, chances of cropping up a kid with genetic deficiencies are slimmer than not. Hashem is in charge. You just pray”
You are comparing apples with toothpaste (not even with oranges). What have good middos to do with bad genes??? It’s not an either or situation. If someone is a carrier, he or she should NOT marry and reproduce with another carrier, because, depending on the gene they carry, they are gambling with every pregnancy. And though THEY might feel it is perfectly ok to trust in Hashem (as do I), that does not mean that if you step into empty space, you’re gonna fly. Hashem CAN and DOES do miracles every day all day. But most of us are not worthy to see a miracle of the magnitude that one would require to save the life of a baby born with Tay-Sachs, Disautonomia, etc. These are ALL preventable diseases, simply by not being meshadeich two people who carry that gene. It is not fair to the unborn children, to say Gott Vet Helfen. I would marry a carrier, but only if I were not also one, and only if it required genes from both parents in order for there to be a 25% risk (which is too high in my book) that the child would be born diseased. BTW, with what is going on nowadays with gene therapy, that will BE”H eliminate these issues, some day.
Miritchka, thanks for the suggestion – I may take you up on it.
“Tales With Taam” hmmm…
I think fantasy is a GOOD thing for children, it helps their imagination develop and thrive, and the creativity within them can flourish. Tales of Tzaddikim are wonderful – for OLDER kids. Nursery-age kids want to hear about magic menorahs and dancing dreidels. But they can also find wonder in fairytales, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all, if done right. Stories of our Tzaddikim also have scary elements at times. Anyone care to tell a youngster how Rabbi Akiva died??? We don’t focus in inappropriate topics for children too young to handle them. Many fairytales DO have inappropriate aspects. They were written in a different time and place. The idea for the adult, is to know and be selective of what you choose to read or tell to your children.
Shopping, my kids always sang that version of Twinkle Twinkle, which they learned in nursery school. The original is fine, though.
come in small packages
Fairy tales were meant to be scary. Hansel and Gretel was meant to teach kids not to go candy hunting in the forest. Little red riding hood was don’t daydream and wander off the path etc…”
Right, so I ALWAYS work that lesson into my re-telling of these tales. I remind my grandchildren that Little Red Riding Hood got into trouble because she didn’t listen to her mommy, and that she was very sorry. And Goldilocks learned that she must NEVER walk out of her house when her mommy didn’t give her permission, or take things that don’t belong to her, even from nice bears who are happy to share their porridge.
I haven’t told over Hansel and Gretel yet, because the story is really intrinsically a HORROR (wicked stepmom throws her kids into the woods to let them starve, they almost get eaten by a witch, and then they kill her by shovingher alive into a hot oven…OY!) But I am working on it…Until I get it right, I am not telling such a story to anyone who is not an adult! 😛
Shidduchim come about in many ways and for many reasons. NEVER discount the POSSIBILITY of a shidduch that you hear about. Let’s all get real and understand that given today’s crisis, NO avenue should be disregarded without good cause. And the person who heard negative things about the suggested person, should have remained open-minded as to what the negatives were. Is it that the boy goes to the “wrong” yeshiva or (OY) works for a living, or does he have a major character flaw? Those are very different issues.
Wasn’t it that until Yaakov, there was no illness before death, so Yosef did not realize his father was ill?
her chocolate cake was legendary. “
Goq, could you perhaps share that legendary cake recipe???
Gotbeer, I can tell you for a fact that all the Ashkenazic women I have met who married Sephardic men, follow their husbands’ mothers’ minhag regarding taharas hamishpacha. I do not understand WHY this should be acceptable practice. Taharas hamishpacha is in the woman’s domain, is private, and is passed from mother to daughter for the most part. But this is what I have observed over the years.
Stovetop cholent does have a tendency to stick”
Mine does not. I have a simmer ring (perforated metal disc heat diffuser) on top of my burners and under the blech, so the cholent pot is, in effect, in a double burner, as far as the heat is concerned. Nothing ever burns, especially if the burner is on low to begin with. I always put the cholent up to be nearly cooked by Shabbos. Then it goes on the blech as I described. You can also try spraying th bottom of the pot with PAM before putting the ingredients in. Maybe that will help. And yes, there is no comparison between stove top and crockpot cholent. I don’t know why.
If someone is a potential carrier for a disease that WILL, if inherited as a disease, subject his/her child(ren) to pain and suffering from birth, that person needs to think long and hard about getting screened and ensuring that the spouse is not likewise a carrier. It is completely irresponsible and CRUEL, IMO, to knowingly bring a baby into the world to suffer, IF that suffering can be avoided by NOT MARRYING the carrier of the same genetic disease that you carry. Clearly our Jewish leaders agree, or Dor Yesharim would not exist today.
but now i can use your versions and entertain them in a yiddish way. thanks! “
…uh… I get residuals…. (my pleasure, really!)
DY – yer right 😉
n Little House on the Prairie, Laura and Mary sing “beans porridge”
Then they got it wrong. It’s a nursery rhyme originally from England, I think, where they used to make pease porridge.
Imho, you shouldn’t suggest a shidduch without having any idea if it’s shayach. You’re just wasting people’s time and possibly insulting them.”
And I DISAGREE. Ideally, you should have known about the boy before redting the shidduch, but there is still a level of hishtadlus that the girl and her family could also do, and having done so, decided it was not shayach. End of story. If people always hesitated to mention names because they don’t personally know the party, no one would get married. THIS IS CALLED NETWORKING. We need to relax a little. And certainly no one should be offended.
In my dating years, my Rebbetzin suggested a shidduch to me of a member of her family, whom she had not seen in over a decade. Because it was my Rebbetzin, I said yes. The boy took his yarmulke off as soon as we got to our destination. When I questioned him about it, he said, he never wears it in public unless he is eating, because of the Goyim. I told him he was perfectly safe in my neighborhood and in general, in those days, but ended the date relatively quickly (he wasn’t for me anyway even if he had kept the yarmulke on), and told the Rebbetzin that although he was a nice person, hashkafically there was a serious issue, and she might want to check further before setting him up again. I was not insulted. She meant well.
Personally, I would aim for a compromise. It depends on the “chashivus” of the OOT guests. Can they come in a day before? If not, and they are close to you, you should make a separate minyan. I went to an early minyan bris out of my area, and had to leave my house at 5AM in order to make the bris on time. Bli neder I will not do that again. I would either make arrangements to be nearby as of the night before, or not go. My brother’s son and daughter-in-law made a bris recently for their new son, and arranged to make it conveniently for MOST of their guests, by moving the bris to their old neighborhood. To go to their present location would have been very difficult for most people, including a Bubby and many other close relatives and friends.
People who will be slightly inconvenienced (i.e. going into work later) will do so if they are close to you. A bris is not every day. I would try to make the bris an hour later than the usual minyan, to accommodate people who need to travel to or from say, Lakewood or Monsey. Since you are asking about it, obviously this is of concern to you. Otherwise you would do whatever you wanted in the first place.
Personally, I don’t eat a fleishig meal in the morning (never could understand how goyim eat bacon and eggs or ham and eggs for breakfast). Bagels with lox or tuna, or even just cream cheese are just fine. Just give me a coffee and I’m good to go.
Unless there is a compelling reason to delay the seudah, why not do it right after the bris? Ask your rov about that, ebcause that would solve some of your issues. And to anyone making a bris (or a kiddush) mazel tov on the birth of yor child.
I can take a bunch of unrelated topics or catchphrases and write a song or an essay (usually). I haven’t done it an several years, and the gray cells have disintegrated somewhat, but I think I still can do it.
Clearly she hoped he would show up to funeral #2. SHE is the sociopath.