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NDGSFT – LOL
I have lived my entire life by a “gam zu l’tovah” ideology (and it has not always been so easy or glatt to do so). If good comes out of bad – kol hakavod. No one wishes for bad, but B”H the Eibishter with great Rachmanus mitigates that bad for us in some manner.
Only once you pick her up the screams stop (she is a smart cookie).”
There you have it in a nutshell. Things will egt better. I promise.
Sorry Little Froggie, my lips are sealed. I abide by the rules, just as we are all expected to. (Wish I had kept a copy, though)…
I feel for you. My first child was a very colicky baby for a full year. He was the worst spitter-upper, to the point that the doctor thought he had pyloric stenosis, where the pyloris muscle is in spasm and the breast milk or formula cannot go and stay down. We thought he would need surgery at 5 weeks, but it turned out to be “only” really bad colic, B”H. My husband and I took turns sleeping for nearly a year. The baby slept 15 minutes of every hour. His longest stretch was shy of 2 hours. Not easy. But I am still here nearly 36 years later, B”H, so gam zeh ya’avor for you as well.
I would strongly recommend that if the baby is not vomiting or ill in any way, that you get a set of earplugs and let her cry. I would never do that with a newborn; they need to learn they are safe and secure in their parents’ response to their needs. But by 8 months, your daughter is training YOU, not vice versa. Put a fan on in her room, for white noise (she might be a light sleeper also), and then lovingly say good night (very good to have a specific routine done every single bedtime, including saying shema to her and singing Hamalach). The continuity will help her to self-soothe.
I am blessed to be able to babysit for my ainekel every weekday morning, and he knows that naptime (he is just shy of 2) means Bubby will hold him on her lap and sing “aileluli” a Yiddish lullaby my mom O”H sang to me. He knows without my saying a word that he will put his head down on my shoulderas I sing to him and rock him gently, and then he has lately begun to sing along – slightly off-key (which unfortunately cracks me up, and thus spoils the ambience I am trying to create).
However, where this used to put him right to sleep in thirty seconds or less, now he only needs to be put into the Pack and Play after singing with me for a few seconds, and he puts his head down and goes to sleep on his own. Kids learn quickly, and they love and need routine.
Hatzlacha rabbah. I DO know how frustrating this is. I never had such a problem with any of my other children. And I wish you to see the same ease that I had with my other kids. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have met a lot of people who have Daas Torah, but are still humble enough and wise enough to recognize their intellectual limitations. They call upon people who know more about specific issues than they do, all the time. Aizehu chacham, halomeid m’kall adam.
What’s the best way to make a ganache topping for a cheesecake?
Yom Yerushalayim Sameach! May we spend the next one at the Beis Hamikdash.
You are correct that it is an important topic, just not for here. “
No problem. I see your point.
Thank you.
Any more anti-mod posts, and the thread gets yanked. (joking) “
See, you are listening already!!!!!!
🙂 On a more serious note, we are sorry that your long post on that thread never saw the light of day, but we closed the thread because need to keep in mind that people of all ages read the CR. You are correct that it is an important topic, just not for here.
A warning from the Mods BEFORE yanking a thread would be welcome, explaining why it might be getting yanked and how to prevent it from happening.
Any more anti-mod posts, and the thread gets yanked. (joking)
I preface this by saying I do not know the halacha or even what Judge Judy would say. The following is my personal opinion. He owes him a shtender. Not Shimon’s fault that it costs more now to replace it. Let Reuven build one, look for another one like it that is pre-owned, or pay for a new one. He has to replace it somehow. Its $10 worth is of no value to Shimon if he needed the shtender to be returned to him in the same usable, sturdy condition in which he lent it to Reuven.
Happy birthday (????)
When we run out of topics someone is ALWAYS sure to bring it back to Tznius and/or shidduchim.
Zero. Anything x 0 is always zero.
I am opposed to Kiddush Clubs for many reasons. My shul does not have one, but I have observed elsewhere how men go our for their “kiddush” and miss half of mussaf after having missed all of the leining. If they are drinking, is that really the proper frame of mind in which to approach the davening? On Simchas Torah, maybe, but certainly not on Shabbos and any other yom tov. It gives children very mixed signals about respect for the Shul and respect for the Rov, when they see their fathers walking out en masse. Worse yet, is when these men are disruptive to those who ARE remaining in Shul, because their conversation can become quite loud and boisterous.
To the poster who says his KC goes on “only” during leining – I am a little confused; what part of leining are you SUPPOSED to miss out on?
Pulsing Flower – sounds like you are a Native American.
Mitzvah gedolah l’hiyos b’simchah tamid. Even if you are not in a happy mode right now (so sorry about that for your sake), perhaps if you try to feel better for the sake of it being a mitzvah to do so, you make come to feel better for real. This (sad matzav), too, shall pass.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is ride out the storm, and sometimes it is better to occupy yourself with worthwhile things (doing chessed, going on enjoyable outings, sitting by some beautiful aspect of nature, and contemplating the positive things in lfie that Hashem has given us). No one is immune to pain. How we react to and deal with it, is what defines us. Hatzlacha rabbah.
Little Froggie, I don’t think I meant you
And surely I wouldn’t prevent you
From writing whatever
Is well-said and clever,
(And with that, a Good Shabbos I bensch you!!!!)
Better to emulate Hillel most of the time, and our Avos and Moshe Rabbeinu ALL of the time. There IS an appropriate time and way to be angry. When we see injustice, or rishus, or immorality, we SHOULD be angry. Getting stuck in traffic should not be one of those causes, unless someone in the car is in labor or having some other type of medical emergency.
OOMIS – It is not up to chassidim to not hold by this.”
JackM – Is it OK with you if my NON-Chassidic Rov paskened this way? Chassidim who do not eat in the succah on SH”A ahould have hakafos in shul both days of the last days of yom tov. Our family minhag was to make kiddush in the succah on SH”A, but to eat inside.
Clearly there are several opinions on this subject. And by the way, the halacha is to not eat chometz on Pesach, which is defined BY THE TORAH as something made from the five grains. So pray tell, why do we Ashkenazim not eat kitniyos? (Please don’t explain the reason – I already know it, I am just using this as an example). There are many things that people are certain are Halacha, and for SOME people, those things may very well BE the halacha, but not for others.
Some of them lead us to be more machmir and some lead us to be more meikeil. But we should be very careful before accusing someone else of it “not being up to” them to not hold by something. Perhaps it IS up to them, if their learned rov or rebbie says so.
My dad O”H would always comment about the simcha that was more Bar than Mitzvah. I think a nice and elegant party SHOULD be made, if the family can afford it. But if it becomes a three-ring-circus, with the boy riding in on a motorcycle, or just an excuse for conspicuous consumption, that is not my cup of tea.
We made a beautiful simcha for my oldest son, but it was done on a budget, we had a one man keyboardist, my husband and I made the table arrangements out of small plants that we got at an incredibly affordable price (and every couple at the table got to take one home), and our caterer worked within a limited budget and did a beautiful job.
The focus should be more on the simcha of bringing a child to Torah, and less on how many types of sushi will be served at the smorg.
GA – GREAT stuff.
There once were some folks in CR,
Thought THEY wrote the best stuff, by far.
Their lines often lacked
Some panache and/or tact,
Keep your day jobs, whoever you are! :p
FriendInFlatbush, succah on Shmini Atzeres is halachah.”
I believe that Chassidim do not hold by this. Shmini Atzeres is a separate holiday from Succos.
Mazel tov. May you and your chosson be zochim to build a B”NB together.
Animals need to be protected, but make no mistake – they were put on this earth to serve MAN, not vice versa. That said, we DO need to be makpid on tzaar baalei chayim, and that is why we have so many halachos that revolve around that hashkafa, i.e. kilayim, feeding one’s animals before eating one’s own meals, making sure to milk the cows on time, and possibly (though we are not allowed to say it is THE reason), shiluach hakein.
The whole sedra of Noach, teaches us a lesson about responsibility towards animals, but it likewise gives us the reason why animals were now permitted to mankind for consumption, though within boundaries. Ultimately, they are here for OUR benefit and use, and Man has dominion over them, according to Hashem’s own words.
Cherrybim makes an interesting point. The key in any beis aveil R”L is to take our cues from the aveil.
Bookworm 120 – 🙂
HUH?????
Liberals are liberal until THEIR ox is being (Al)gored.
asked because I was sitting with the Aveil and someone came in and the Aveil INTRODUCED us so I offered my hand and said “Shalom Aleichem.” The guy looked at me like I was a gnat and then looked away”
That appalls me. No one should embarrass someone in public (or otherwise). Even during Tisha B’Av,when we are not supposed to greet anyone, if someone DOES greet you unthinkingly, you are permitted to softly respond. And if the Aveil himself introduced you, you take your cues from the Aveil. I myself have slipped up and said, “Nice to meet you,” when thus introduced by an Aveil, to a relative of his who was there at the same time that I was paying a shiva call. It happens, and it is not a crime against humanity when it does.
I think that in a moment of extreme emotional pain, it is very hard to think of the “Master Plan” of Hashem. (That’s probably why we see Boruch Dayan haEmes when we cut kriah as Onenim – because it forces us to acknowledge Hashem, at the height of our grief). Sometimes we just need to work through our sadness and get past it. Some folks never do.
Thanks for the info. I am looking for long skirts. (And your idea wasn’t bad, either).
Anyone interested in moving to the Far Rockawaya area, could benefit from posting for “APTSEEK” on the Five Towns Shuls List. The e-mail address is [email protected]. You would need to sign up for that particular yahoogroup first, and then you can send e-mail posts directly to the FTS listserve without having to sign in each time to yahoogroups.
The Beach 11th area is a nice one. It used to be sometimes loosely referred to as “The Bungalow Colony,” because it is all frum people. But there are other areas as well, where you can get an apartment in a two family home.
When I go to pay a shiva call, my focus is on the aveil. If someone whom I knwo walks in, I might nod to that person, but do not engage in conversation, unless it includes the aveil, who has to initiate the conversation anyway.
the yoetzet assured it over the phone ”
I know a Rov who did the same thing. They were both wrong to do that. We can debate this all night. There are rabbanim who don’t do their job, and there are women who are trained to do a job who also mess up. Guess what, people in ALL walks of life overstep their bounds, screw up, make poor judgment calls,and cause trouble. The problem is extra sensitive because of the nature of the responsibility these women are being given, and the objections that many men have to their being given it, despite the fact that it is being accepted by many authoritative figures as halachically proper.
(By the way, this is a case where the Hebrew word for forbidden is better spelled phonetically as “assered,” because “assured” could lead one to believe the exact opposite of what one is trying to convey. Just sayin’)…
It is generally not done, out of respect for the aveil who is NOT greeted with a shalom aleichem. And what Goq said. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard “Mission Impossible” suddenly play, while speaking with aveilim. People, YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT THAT YOU NEED TO BE REACHED 24/7.
I dont understand why so many people today have to try to change the purpose of jewish women. We as women have a beautiful and purposeful job, to keep the jewish nation going. It was never in our mesorah to be people who paskan halacha and people who try to become mashgichim”
It was never in our mesorah that the women should be the CHIEF breadwinners while their husbands sit in Yeshivah all day, either, or be supported for years and years by their fathers instead of their spouses. They were supposed to raise their family and provide a proper Jewish home, the Eishes Chayil Mi Yimtzah, notwithstanding.
Tznius is very expensive. I could actually own more than one outfit if I could buy a tzniusdik skirt for under $40. ‘
You’re not a guy????????????????
Popa, a Yoetzet is not a rabbi, Conservative or otherwise. Nor do they claim to be. This is not the same thing as the maharat situation. The Yoatzot are women who are specifically trained in hilchos niddah, to help women with niddah shailos. In any questionable circumstance, they confer with a Rov to get a p’sak.
Many women are extremely uncomfortable and hesitant to go to a Rov regarding certain niddah issues, and considering how much emphasis we put on Tznius, is that such a surprise to you? Some women can barely bring themselves to discuss their personal issues with their DOCTOR, much less their Rov. It is a GOOD thing that these women are trained in this area (and only this area, as far as I know). They always consult with a Rov when it is warranted. Believe it or not, many “shailos” are NOT shailos at all, and do not require a p’sak Halacha. I could give you several examples, but for tzniusdig reasons will refrain from doing so here.
May both girls have a refuah shelaima b’soch sh’or cholei Yisroel.
Men should stop flattering themselves. Women do not dress to impress men, they dress to impress other women.”
That is a true statement in my experience.
DY, no “sorry” needed. Many people use the expression in that way.
Erroneously. And they wouldn’t, if school were to teach proper dikduk, which is truly essential to understanding the Torah.
Well, Hashem intended for Mankind to be vegetarians – it was only after the Mabul that He allowed the eating of meat, but ALWAYS with some restrictions (no eiver min hachai). When Bnei Yisroel ate meat, the restrictions went even further.
If we were vegetarian, however, and when the Beis Hamikdash is rebuilt Bimheira b’yameinu, how will vegetarians fulfill the mitzvah of certain types of korbonos, especially korbon Pesach?
All things should be in moderation, including the eating of meat.
I have no idea, mine is totally gone.
I don’t, but if you add a little lemon juice to your grated potatoes and/or grate the potatoes together with onions, it will keep them white (you will never notice the taste of the lemon, btw), and add your eggs in immediately.
Why is the word ‘tznius’ used in this fashion – pardon the pun! As far as I understand it, ‘tznius’ translates as ‘modesty’ NOT ‘modest’. Therefore, someone may dress either ‘b’tznius’ or ‘tzniusdig’ but not just simply ‘tznius’. Anyone else agree? “
100% agree. I am tired of the grammatical “am haaratzus” as it were, that allows people to use the word incorrectly. Tznius is a noun. People want to express the desire for others to dress B’tznius, which is like saying “tzniusdically,” which would be an adverb. The fact that a lot of people don’t know the proper usage of the word and have accepted incorrect usage, does not mean it should continue that way. It may seem like a very small thing to most people, but I am bothered by this, and have said so on other occasions in the CR.
It is malbush tzanua, not tznius clothing.
Behavior and speech that is tzanua is at least as and maybe even more important than how one dresses.
SYAG, your Rov says OK, and that’s 1000% great. For you. It doesn’t make a chiyuv on ME to do it. Mt Rov often paskened for me that something was muttar, but better to not do it. There are many halachas that come under such an umbrella, and as I pointed out, people adopt personal chumrahs or minhagim on themselves ALL the time. As long as we do not deride someone else who DOES what we choose not to do, because they are not doing anything wrong, I see no problem. I am sure there are things that I do, that many people who post here don’t, even though they are muttar.
oomis: If it’s allowed, why would you not do it? Assuring something for yourself which is allowed is actually not permitted!”
Not in this case, and some people asser things for themselves that are permitted, ALL the time, like wearing colorful clothing, using chalav stam, wearing a shaitel instead of a tichel, eating gebrochts, etc. I feel it’s not in the spirit of Shabbos to make a creative piece of art, even if technically it were to be considered muttar (though I cannot imagine it to be).
I have heard it is allowed for small children to ride their tricycles on Shabbos. To me, that is uvda d’chol, even if technically permitted (and all the Yeshivish families on my block allow their kids to do so and to use scooters, something I NEVER permitted my kids to do on Shabbos, for chinuch reasons alone).
So my answer to your otherwise well-noted point, is that something being permissible, does not necessarily mean it is a good thing to do.
Seriously though, I could never understand the concept of keeping a puzzle once it’s done. What could you possibly do with it? Hang it on the wall next to the bar mitzvah pictures?”
You are clearly not a serious “puzzler.” I am not, either, but my friend who routinely does 1,000 – 1,500 piece puzzles, likes to put a certain type of clear puzzle glue on them to keep them intact and then frames them. So, yes, they DO hang it on the wall (whether next to the Bar-mitzvah pic or not).
I never asked a shailah about puzzles, because I personally wouldn’t do one on Shabbos. It is mamesh creating something, and the intent is typically to keep it permanent, once completed. If it is permissible (and I would find that to be odd), I still wouldn’t do it.
Trivial Pursuit is my game of choice, and also games like Blurt, Taboo, or any game where you have to think of ways of expressing something without using specific common words. Charades is also a great choice.