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The interesting thing is Sandra’s name is Sandra Samuel, from what I read. Is it possible she is one of the Bnei Avraham, Indian Jews? I don’t knwo anything else about her, but she surely showed great courage in saving little Moshe’s life. Jew or not, she is a heroine.
People act like wild animals on Black Friday, and that is one of several reasons why I will not shop then. A store employee was stampeded to death by the shopping crowds. This is horrifying. This day brings out the worst of the worst in people.
JF02, I am really so sad for the tzaar you have experienced at such a young age. I am in total agreement that the middos of the person, male OR female, are more important than yichus, learning, money, or anything else. It seems that in spite of your losing your father at such a tender and influential age, that he raised a fine daughter in the short time he had with you.
I think that it is equally important for boys and girls to watch how their prospective in-laws interact with each other, before making a final decision whether or not to get married. Children often imitate what they have seen in the home Does the father treat the mother with respect, do the siblings seem to love each other, are they comfortable whent hey are all together , these are the things I want to know.
The problem is when the mother of the boy does not think the girl is pretty enough,thin enough rich enough, tall enough, etc. for her precious baby. Many girls are rejected for the most shallow of reasons, by mothers who are living vicariously through their sons. One woman (I think I related this story once here) called me as a reference about a girl whom I had watchwed grow up into a gorgeous and wonderful young woman. After wasting a half hour of my time on the phone asking me some very obnoxious questions that I would not have answered even had I knwon the answers, and after telling her repeatedly what an outstanding girl she is from a wonderful mishpacha, the woman said that was all well and good but she hears the girl is short, and she doesn’t want short grandchildren! In this case, the girl was well-rid of such a shvigger!
I do not always think that parents know what is best for their children. They can only know what they would like to see for their children, but that is not always right for them. A father whose main concern is for a talmid chochum, or a mother who only wants a girl with a rich father, can be overlooking the very real needs of their child. Maybe a talmid chochum who will sit and learn day and night is what the father is projecting onto his daughter. Maybe what she needs is a boy who learns well, but is more family-oriented and will want to spend more time with her and their children. Maybe the boy does not really care if the girl has no family money. Maybe he doesn’t care if she is not a size 2. And so on. Every shidduch that has ever been suggested to me for my kids, even when I was absolutely certain it would not be for them, I always ran it by them before saying no. Many times they agreed with me, but soemtimes they did not. At least they gave the guy a chance.
To add to 000646’s statement, there are many women who FAR surpass their male counterparts in both intelligence and common sense. And are women not supposed to have BINA YESAIRA? That would tend to make me think that those who made that statement seem to feel that we are in at elast oen respect superior to men, intellectually speaking.
Pearl, I have successfully frozen this corn kugel. Just heat it for a few minutes in the oven, to bring back the crunchiness of the topping. Liebers and Paszkez also make the Hits-type cracker (it a kosher and pareve version of Ritz). It calso omes in Reduced-Fat and unsalted tops. They are round, approximately the size of a tam tam cracker. You can use other crackers, I suppose, but I have only used this type> It makes no difference if the crackers are reduced fat or regular, the taste is identical, so go for the less fatty version.
I know the Kamenetsky family, and they did not eat turkey, because their family holds the tradition that it is a safek if a turkey is a kosher bird. At least, that is what R’ Yaakov ZT”L’s great-grandson told us when he was a guest in our home. Fortunately, I had not prepared turkey for that Shabbos, but it came out in conversation, when the young man complimented my cooking and I mentioned that I had originally planned to make turkey, but hadn’t purchased one in time to make it for that Shabbos. He told me, gam zu l’tovah, because in his family they do not eat turkey, because they hold to the mesora that turkey is a safek.
Sorry, Mariner, but I do not agree with a great deal of what you said. And your words do a disservice to the very loving adoptive and step-parents, who would tell you they could not love their kids more if they HAD birthed them. While I understand the point you are TRYING to make, that the love a mother has for the child who grew inside her womb is something special, you err in my opinion, in thinking that the mother who did not grow that child in her womb would not feel that same love. In fact, an argument could be made for the idea that a woman who could not birth children at all, would just as strongly if not more strongly emotionally connect with the child she is able to adopt, because she does not take that child’s existence for granted. Love SHOULD be an automatic and innate emotion between birth mother and child, but medical evidence shows that all too often, it is not the case. I am not going to discuss this with you further, as you seem to have a personal stake in this issue, and I am not qualified to
address your concerns. I am not sure why it is so important to you to make your point, that you prefer not to see the possibility that another viewpoint is also valid. This is only a blog, after all.
I am also not sure why you brought rapists into this thread. A pervert is a pervert. There is no love in such a person. There is only good acting, if they are able to convince anyone that they are good parents.
I make enough food for Thanksgiving that a substantial portion is taken off and set aside for Shabbos. Generally, we do not eat a fleishig meal on a Thirsday night, but this is the exception. I serve Turkey at other times during the year, mostly for a Yom Tov, or when we have guests that have not been over for a while (Otherwise Shabbos is chicken, cholent, once in a while a roast that’s on sale).
“ppl are actually impressed.”
No, many are not. I know this from experience. I will say that some NON-JEWS are more rsepctful of this idea than non-religious Jews are. But on balance, people int he business world expect to shake hands. it is a greeting, it connotes no chiba whatsoever, and is considered a polite gesture.
I would like to see an option for ONLY seeing the new posts appearing on the list, but not having to wade through the ones you already have read to get to the others. Even with “Latest Reply” you still might have to scroll through a long page or even two, because you haven’t yet read the ten other posts from before the latest one.
The kugel recipe is very similar to mine, minus the sugar. I saute the onions in the oil called for in the recipe then pour the whole pan into the noodles, add the eggs, salt and pepper. I’m going to try it witht he sugar just to see the difference. Sounds delicious. I personally prefer a salt and pepper lukshin kugel.
“this may seem true, but it is not. the love is a different love. there are all sorts of loves in life. those of a parent, a spouse and to children. a biological mothers love cannot be copied, only mimiced. “
Maybe it is true of people with whom you are acquainted, but I have seen biological moms who are not fit to raise a window shade, much less their own children. There is no concept of love in them, only control and intimidation, by alternately giving love effusively then withholding it. Theoretically what you say SHOULD be true, in the best of all worlds. In real life, however, the opposite is true all too often. pick up any newspaper to see that what I say is true. Biology does not automatically confer loving parent status on anyone. it should, but it doesn’t. I have to strongly, but respectfully disagree with your words.
It’s funny, but I always thought that Heimish (which really means homey, down to earth, warm and friendly), means a specific type of frum Jew, such as chassidish or Yeshivish. It certainly seems to be used in that manner to convey that idea.
I used Tilex bleach on the floor where this happened to me. A couple of potatoes and some onions rolled under the table, so far back that even when we mopped the floor, we didn’t reach as far back as it had gone. The stench was awful, and we couldn’t locate the problem at first. Then we got tiny flies, and when I located the source, after finishing gagging, I cleaned out the mess scrubbed the stains with Tilex. Worked like a charm. Warning: DO NOT MIX BLEACH WITH AMMONIA OR ANY FLOOR CLEANER. It can produce a toxic gas as a chemical reaction. I water mopped the floor several times after using the bleach, to remove all traces of it.
We have always celebrated Thanksgiving as an American holiday out of thanks to Hashem and this country of ours, where Jews could be Jews without fear of pogroms. I thank Hashem EVERY day for the countless brachas He gives me, but it is simply a matter of hakoras hatov to this nation which was founded on religious and personal freedom, to mark the day in some fashion. we love turkey, so it’s a no-brainer. By the way, the national language of the USA was almost Hebrew. The Christian Governor Bradford was a student of the Bible in its original Hebrew, and was convinced that the New World should follow the Jewish Bible very closely, or so I have been told.
anon, this is NOT cornbread – it’s a kugel consistency, like a very firm custard. AND IT IS DELISH!!!!!!! I actually made that as a side dish for my turkey.
“The takana of Rabbeinu Gershom is as valid today, as when Rebbeinu Gershom issued it. Same about the prohibitions with speaking to women.”
I heard some time ago that this takana has expired (though no one is looking to go back to the old way of marrying more than one woman at a time). Is what I heard true?
And if it is assur to talk to women, then there are an awful lot of men who are oveir the halacha A LOT!!!!!!!!!! And how do out boys get shidduchim if they are not talking to the girls when they go out with them?
I like to PLAY ball, not watch someone else do it. There aren’t many outlets for women to play in the frum community, though.
“innate feeling of what is right and what is wrong”
Respectfully, Queen of Persia , you have no innate feeling of what is right and wrong. You have the feeling of what you have been TAUGHT is right and wrong. Elsewhere, where the majority of people are NOT taught that it is wrong for women to drive, they have a different innate feeling. Your decision not to drive is yours alone. I commend you for sticking to your guns. But what works for you does not work for other people, necessarily, and it has nothing to do with life being fair or not. I have a suspicion about why some people feel it is untzniusdig for women to drive, and it may have to do with the physiology of the actual driving. But I am no expert. In any case, by all means do not drive, but please do not tell other women that your way is the innately right way. The reason we have the Torah, is that only Hashem knows what is inantely right or wrong. Left to our own devices, there was a time when sacrificing children to idol worship was thought to be innately right.
“oomis1105: I assume you meant that a husband must be prepared to drive 24/6, not 24/7”
My bad. Of course, 24/6 and a little bit of the 7 after Shabbos is over.
I live in the past (way better than the present).
My rov said mipnei darchei sholom, not to insult or embarrass another person by refusing to shake hands. Just do it quickly, firmly, and that’s is the end of it. Keep it businesslike, and don’t extend your hand first.
Also, I thought the inyan is that a man should not walk between two women, not vice versa. Can someone enlighten us?
Mariner – boy could you not have more misunderstood me than you did! I thought I was clear that you cannot force someone to love a stepparent. Nonetheless, you should act with derech eretz to the step, just as you should to ALL people. Does that m,ean you have to do everything they say, especially if it is a total contradiction of how you feel? No, i don’t beleive that is the case all the time. But even a refusal to do something should be doen with derech eretz. And unless I misunderstand YOU, did you mean to imply that a non-biological parent cannot love a child as much as that biological parent? I have known adoptive parents who were MORE loving to their children than the biological parents. My cousin married a man with five children (one a two year old), after his wife died. She was being married for the first time. NO one could be a more loving mother than she has been to those children.
There are times when ALL children cannot stand their parents, usually when they are denied something they want. it has to do with the fact of the authority, not whose DNA runs through their veins. If you and your Stepmom have difficulties at times, I hope you are able to work through them, if only for your father’s sake. He should not have to feel he is caught in a tug of war between you, at any time. I do not know you or your personal situation, so I am not judging, and please do not think I am. I wish you well.
I make a corn kugel that has become my most-requested recipe. The recipe is my own original one, something which I made up while trying to streamline a traditional and very labor-intensive corn kugel. To make my version you will need the following:
1 stick of margarine, melted
2 regular cans of creamed corn (yes, it’s pareve)
1 cup pareve milk (may substitute unwhipped pareve whip)
4 eggs
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. salt
a good gezunt shake of black pepper
Mix all together, then pour into a 9 x 13 cake pan which has been sprayed with the spray/flour type Pam. Mishpacha makes a good one of this, as does Baker’s Joy . It releases from the pan much more easily than with just plain Pam alone. Top the batter with a topping made of two stacks of Hits type crackers (reduced fat or unsalted tops are fine), mixed with another stick of melted margarine. Sprinkle evenly over the corn mixture and bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 50-60 minutes. Start checking after 45 minutes to see if the top is deep golden brown. It is done when it starts to pull away from the sides of the pan and the custard is firm. It will puff up a lot during baking, then settle down smoothly when cooling.For those who do not like the idea of the margarine, use trans-fat free. DO NOT use “healthy” oil. It doesn’t work in this recipe. I have tried.
Kovod for one’s parents, stepparents, older siblings, and virtually all human beings, should not be a question to be paskened. It should be show to all. You and I have no mandate to LOVE a stepparent, but out of respect for our own parents, we should always be respectful of the person to whom they are married. If it were always an easy thing to do, this question would not have been asked. Sometimes there is great resentment of the “step” for literally stepping into the place of the parent who is out of the picture, whether through death or divorce. Children of divorce often harbor the belief that the parents will get back together BUT for the interloper who has taken mom or dad’s place. Irrespective of whether or not that belief is realistic, respect must be shown, if only to make the parent happy. In the case where the step might have been directly responsible for the breakup of the marriage, something which we do unfortunately see (though rare in the frum world, it still does happen, chalila), then I would say the children should refrain from contact with the stepparent, if they understandably feel they cannot be civil.
My dear daughter-in-law just lost her step-father suddenly this past month. Her bio dad is alive, B”H, and in her life, but it was her stepdad, whom I truly considered to be my dear mechutan, who was largely responsible for her sister’s and her upbringing. He was a great dad to them, and her loss was immeasurable. BUT, because her own dad is alive, she had to refrain from certain expressions of her grief, and felt like she didn’t belong anywhere, while her mom and his birth children sat shiva together. I believe that children can and should show honor and respect to a stepparent. It should not even be a question.
When I was growing up, the Orthodox Jewish world of East New York all turned lights on and off on yom tov, as needed. The sevara was that electricity is exactly like turning on a stove that has a continuous pilot light ( not as most stoves are today with an electric ignition ona gas stove). The electricity was maavir from the wire to the light fixture (proof being that if you cut open the wire while it was plugged in, even if the lamp was off, you would get an electric shock), but it was not m’avreir, which is the same type of action as striking a match, which ias also assur on Yom tov.
When we moved out of the neighborhood, our Rov in our new community said it was not permissible to do this, though if necessary a light could be turned on, but not off again. In my home we simply used Shabbos clocks for all the lights both on Shabbos and on Yom Tov. Obviously a clock could not be used for anything that was “vochedig,” (like a radio) as that would not be in the spirit of Shabbos or Yom Tov.
Mazel tov on making a decision that will surely affect the rest of your life. I am in total agreement with many of the posters here, and have personal experience, because my dear husband is a baal teshuvah. He became religious over 38 years ago, and we are married almsot 32 years. His journey back to observant Judaism began when close and very non-judgmental friends pointed out to him that he knew everything there was to know about Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, etc. but absolutely nothing about his own religion. He realized they had a point, and the rest is history. He took small steps, and each one brought him closer. I recommend the same to you. People who “flip in” to religion, have a tendency to “flip out,” as well. Though it would be phenomenal for you to suddenly be totally keeping Shabbos and Kosher, in truth you would do well to begin to learn and absorb things slowly, so that they have staying power. Too much too soon, can be very overwhelming. Your best best lies in finding an Orthodox Rabbi who has experience in teaching people like yourself,who are returning to Judaism. He will be sensitive to how to approach teaching you properly. it is, as someone mentioned, a great idea to develop a warm relationship with the Rabbi’s wife. Many of your interactions will probably be with her. The Donen book, TO BE A JEW, is excellent. Another interesting source, if still available is “The Jewish Catalogue,” by Strassfeld, an enjoyable compendium of Jewish information. Get ahold of as good Artscroll prayer book, when you feel ready. It will have an English translation, and will explain the meaning behind the prayers.
I wish you much success in your journey, and hope it has the same impact on your life as it did on my husband’s. Above all, do not be discouraged at any point. All worthwhile things take time to achieve.
There was a story told of a wagoner who was brought to a din Torah ebcause he had an accident on an icy road while transporting someone’s merchandise. His wagon fell over, and the merchandise was all broken . The owner took him to the Beis Din, and the Dayanim ruled against the wagoner, and ordered him to pay for the broken merchandise. He was very distraught and asked them how they arrived at their p’sak. They answered him that it was very clear from the Torah, that someone hired to do a service, such as transporting merchandise, which makes them responsible for the safekeeping of your valuables, is responsible if something happens to them. The driver asked them, “Please, could you tell me, when was the Torah given?” They answered him, “On Shavuos.” “Well,” her replied, “that explains everything. The Torah was given in the summertime, when the roads are dry and clear. Had it been given on a snowy, icy day in winter, I bet the law would have been in MY favor!”
The point is, that the Torah does not change, but circumstances of life do, and in areas of hashkafa, people are bound to believe in things that resonate in their particular lives. There was a time when certain Chachomim thought that to speak to a woman was shtuss. There was a time when Rabeinu Gershom made a takana that a man could not have more than one wife, and I have heard that this was because his own life with two wives was so miserable. The Torah never assered that? HE did. Is it so hard for Joseph and others here, to believe that MANY of the things we take for granted as being THE LAW, are really hashkafic opinions that chachomim in a particular time and place followed, because their life experiences dictated that line of thought?
There are so many Rabbonim today who agree that it is crucial for our young women to be schooled in Torah. After all, they are the next generation of Emahos of Am Yisroel.
I am old enough to know better. Truthfully, it is not about the years of your life, but rather, the life in your years.
If a man in the business world or anywhere, for that matter extends his hand to me (as did my daughter’s surgeon, recently), you had best believe I will not embarrass him by a) refusing to shake hands and b) attempting to explain to him al regel achas why we don’t shake hands. Most people (and especially if they are Jewish, but not affiliated) DO take offense, or think you are an oddball or feel you are holier than thou when you do that. At the very least, they are made to feel mighty awkward, and THAT is never good for business. There is a direct prohibition in the Torah against embarrassing someone, but there is no direct prohibition in the Torah against shaking hands with a person of the OS.
“Girls do not have the intellectual stability and are, therefore, unable to make profound inquries with a sharp mind and appreciate the depth of the Torah. It is possible thay by using their own minds, they will transgress the Torah.
Tur (Yoreh Deah 246, 15)
Most women’s minds are not geared toward being taught, but if she had begun to study properly herself, not making Torah into foolishness, she is no longer like most women and she is rewarded…
“
Both (and really most, if not all) the sources cited, were from a time when women did not go to Yeshivah, and basically knew nothing except possibly how to daven from a siddur. They learned the laws of Taharas Hamishpacha, how to kasher meat, bensch licht and take hafrasha when they would bake challah, but other than that, learning was done only by males. There were some notable exceptions in Jewish history, but primarily women did not learn. Nowadays, there is no frum woman who does not go to Yeshivah. I would venture to say that women know Chumash, Navi, Jewish History and Hashkafa as well as and better than most men, because most men do not continue to learn Nach when they reach the age of learning Talmud. It is erroneous to believe that women are not geared towards learning. That is a generalization. SOME women (like SOME men) may not be able to grasp Talmudic concepts, but then again, many of them absolutely can, particularly if they would be taught those concepts at the same age that the boys are first taught them.
A woman has no chiyuv whatsoever to say kaddish – BUT – she may do so quietly in Shul, in a manner that does not unduly draw attention to herself. When my parents were niftar, I did not say Kaddish, but my friend who lost her parents and has no brothers or other male relatives, asked a shailah and was permitted to do so. She made the minyan every day and said kaddish from the ezras nashim. I do not advocate for this, but I do understand that there are women who have the need to express themselves when they are in aveilus. Since it is not assur, kol hakovod to them. It is a big commitment, and I have great respect for the men who fulfill that commitment faithfully.
My personal hashkafa is that women should first faithfully and properly do those mitzvos for which they DO have an achrayus, before attempting to take on mitzvos for which they have never had any obligation.
“I know a rabbi who paskens you can drive to shul on Shabbos if you live to far. Live and let live. I hope SJS agrees to live with varying halachic opinions and would not be against all of this rabbis congregants driving to shul on Shabbos. “
You lessen the impact and credibility of your point when you make a statement like this. How do you compare mamesh Chillul Shabbos, unquestionable, Chillul Shabbos, with a fashion style? Show me in the Torah where there is an halacha (not merely an opinion, one of many) specifically prohibiting slit skirts (and the reasons for same), and I will never wear one again, bli neder. I can show you several places in the Torah from which we derive that riding to Shul on Shabbos would be absolutely assur.
Incumbent upon members of a specific Kehillah – yes. But certainly not incumbent upon the rest of us. And even within the parameters of the Kehillah, a rov is not supposed to make a gezaira that cannot (or worse, WILL not) be followed by the majority, when it is not a matter of clear halacha l’maiseh, but rather that rov’s personal hashkafa. To give an example, my Rov would not eat at a certain restaurant. But when asked if it was kosher, he said, “Absolutely,” and if asked if he would eat there, would say that he only assers on himself, but there is no chashash. He understood that a standard that he set for himself, for whatever reason, was not necessarily one that others had to set for themselves.
Shindy, the cutlets sound incredible! Anyone doing anything special for Thanksgiving (or do most people here bedavka NOT mark the day with a family meal)? Out of hakoras hatov to the USA, where I can be a frum Jew without fear of pogroms (at least, so far), we always have a big dinner on T-Day. Everyone is off that day, and because it is not yom tov, we really have latitude with travelling, cooking, etc. so it’s a nice time to have everyone together in one place, for a change. I cook up a storm, and usually have enough for part of my Shabbos meal, as well (I have that in mind when I am cooking, to set aside for Shabbos), so I don’t mind the work at all.
“oomis: Then leave it to whose job it is to make these decisions — Rabbonim & Poskim. If THEY decide its a tznius issue, you and I are nothings and can say nothing regarding THEIR decision for their kehilos. (If you are of a different kehila, simply follow your Rabbonim and let them follow theirs.) “
I am sorry,but I do not agree with you that this is a rabbinical issue whatsoever. Your rabbonim and poskim (not mine) who say it is assur, may have a very different mindset than most others. No one is supposed to asser something that imposes a hardship on most of the klal, and will sure to not be followed by the rohv am (I am not talking about mamesh halacha from the Torah, but rather areas that are shades of gray). Women (hello!) comprise more than a majority of klal Yisroel. When women had other modes of transportation, they used them. Supposing a woman is unmarried, widowed, divorced, etc. Should she have to wait for someone to drive her around? SHould she have to take cabs (very expensive on a regular basis) and public transport late at night, rather than the safety of her own car? In olden times, are you telling me frum women never drove a wagon or rode on a horse or donkey? NEVER?????? I do not believe that. And neither do most people. AS I Said earlier, our Emahos CLEARLY did. A horse is less tzniusdig for a woman to sit on, then a car. I won’t even ride a bicycle, even in a very long skirt, as I have seen many frum women do, because it is a potentially untzniusdig view from the back.
Poached salmon en croute makes a beautiful appetizer, followed by a nice salad,roast beef, basmati rice with sauteed mushrooms and onions, string beans almandine, and a “molten” chocolate cake (made in a large muffin tin) with a scoop of vanilla tofutti or pareve whip on the side with shaved chocolate on the cream.
You can send me any e-mail you want.
Joseph,believe me when I say I neither have the desire nor the ability to pasken. This is not an issue that requires a p’sak. Maybe women should also not walk in the street? Ladies are generally better and safer drivers than men. They don’t have the burning need to use their vehicle as an extension of themselves, a factor with which many men choose the cars that they buy. It’s a “guy” thing. And those of you men who are honest with yourselves, know this to be true. A woman in the frum velt especially if she is supporting her family, needs to be able to easily get from point A to point B. And if you think that shopping without a car is so easy – it ain’t. Women need to be able to enjoy a little bit of freedom, as well – or is that the problem, as you see it?
I personally do not believe it contradicts the Torah. None of us knows for certain what “evolution” means, how the world actually came to be as a result of “B’asara maamaros Boro Hashem es haolam,” how much time actually passed between days. Until the fourth day of Creation there wasn’t even a sun in the sky. Where I have any difficulty, I will always believe the Torah. But I also will look for ways to fit the scientific thought into the parameters of Torah, not vice versa.
He should have gotten up, given the elderly woman his seat. had I been one of the girls on that bus, I would have gotten up myself, but since apparently none of them did, he SURELY should have. It is not safe for the elderly to try to keep their balance in a vehicle. Shame on all of the people who did not stand for her and show her respect.
mariner and Yitzy – I might have apepared unclear – I am adamantly opposed to the type of Kollel situation we see today, no ifs, ands, or buts. But when someone was comparing the kollel MEN (you’re right, and I also agree they are not boys, I was just using the expression Kollel Boy), to minorities who take welfare (and even that is a little unfair to say, as there are non-minorities also benefiting from welfare, and I realized that after I posted my last comment), let’s get real and agree that whether or not we feel Kollelism is right for our children, at least they are not out doing horrible things in society either to themselves or to others. At least they are living off welfare BUT they are using the time to learn Torah. I feel safer walking down the street when there are a bunch of Kollel learners walking, then when there are a bunch of non-Jews who can’t hold down a job and don’t want to walking by.
I think no woman should drive – as long as her husband is prepared to be her private chauffeur 24/7. But since the very guys who are against their women driving are the very guys who are NEVER available to drive them anywhere, it would behoove them to keep their opinions to themselves and not seek to make their wives’ lives even harder than they already are. It is no less tzniusDIG (the word Tznius means “modesty” not “modest”) for a woman to ride on a camel (and did not Rachel Emainu, the paradigm for Tznius sit atop a camel when her father questioned her about the stolen idols), than for her to drive a car. In fact the camel riding is LESS tzniusdig, because in the car, she is at least completely not visible from the shoulders down. Those who do not want their women to drive, do so out of a misguided belief that it will “hobble” them and keep them close to home, IMO. IF the chassidim are relying upon NON-chassidic women to drive their wives to necessary appointments, would you not agree that this sounds a little hypocritical?
ANYONE who abuses the welfare system, does so on the backs of the rest of us who actually work to support our fasmilies. The only difference between the kollel and the minority system abuser, is that the Kollel boy is doing SOMETHING productive with his non-employed time. He isn’t out drinking, doing drugs, shooting pool, messing around with arayos. But the end result in financial terms, is the same. Both sides are living off the hard earnings of the rest of us. For someone who is opposed to working, because it would take him away from Torah study, it would seem to be very hypocritical to be perfectly happy to nonetheless take the FREE money that was earned by someone else’s sweat and effort who realized that earning a living is CRITICAL. If you believe something is intrinsically wrong, you should not allow yourself to benefit from someone else’s “wrongdoing.”
“Member
oomis1105
As far as I remember, I think the idea of cholov yisroes is even if you know the product is kosher, you are still supposed to use milk that was watched by a jew. (I think certain milk products (cheese?) can only be made with cow’s milk but cholov yisroel still applies.)”
No, it is not that cholov Yisroel applies to the cheese, it is that the cheese must have a HECHSHER, even though it can only be made with kosher milk from a kosher animal (including goats and sheep). I believe there are types of cheese that can be made with unkosher milk, but it is NOT prevalent in the USA, and ALL dairy products that are sold in the US are under strict government standards that they must be cow milk products unless they state that they are goat’s milk or Sheep milk.
The cheese issue also has to do with the rennet that is used to make the cheese. So clearly a hechsher is of paramount importance, but not Cholov Yisroel per se, to those who would not eat Cholov Stam products.
If you mean one that you are making yourself, I have lots of ideas. If you are looking for ab elegant restaurant, there are a gazillion of them.
tb
Member
Modern Lakewood Guy – Maybe the wife is happy to work 3 jobs if it means her husband can learn.
I vote with torahis1.
The whole issue of slits is overblown in my opinion. if the slit is WELL below the knee, then the part of the leg that we are mechuyavos to cover, is already covered. Personally, I take more notice when I see women with seamed stockings, which IMMEDIATELY draws the attention of the eye to it. Normal people do not look at slit skirts and get excited. If the slit was up her thigh, THAT I could understand. But frankly, I think too much has been made of this issue, and there are more important tznius inyanim that people should concern themselves with. I’m with Pashuteh Yid on this one. Be happy the women are not wearing short skirts or pants. Slit skirts are more comfortable to sit and walk in. Period. If the rabbanim would suddenly say there is no problem with them, no one would give a second thought to it being untzniusdig. It is how we are conditioned to think by the rabbinical interpretation of some people, that causes us to think certain things are not proper. Not all people agree with this interpretation.
To answer the question of where it says in the Torah what we have to cover – that is in the Torah sheh b’al peh. It doesn’t say in the written Torah how to wear tefillin, or shecht an animal, either – – but Moshe Rabbeinu got the exact info from Hashem at Har Sinai and that mesorah was passed down from him to yehoshua, and so on down the ages until Rabbi Yehudah Hanasi codified the Mishnah out of fear that most people would forget the Oral Law. I would like to know where in the Gemarah it discusses slit skirts as assur, however. I am not being facetious, I really want to know. I might rethink my position.
Oomis comes from my married son’s nickname for me from the time that he met his future Kallah. He called her by an affectionate nickname, and added part of that nickname to each of our names. Oomis is an altered form of Ema.