oomis

It’s way too soon to assess his presidential skills. As far as I am concerned, the real test will come with how he reacts to the next Mid-East crisis. He has said he is dismantling “Gitmo,” but I have a feeling that many of the things he stood for while running his campaign, will of necessity have to be re-evaluated when he realizes what he is truly facing. I personally want to see him succeed. I did not vote for him, but I don’t want our country to be run by an incompetent leader, so I wish him hatzlacha in being the right shaliach for this country as well as for the benefit of E”Y.

“including some microbes that can live in irradiated meat. Now, enjoy your melava malka 🙂 “

Dear I Can Only Try:

You can only try, and now I can only barf…. Yum! (The fact that anything can survive radiation is another neis from Hashem.)

splendiforous?

I don’t know how anyone can look at any marvel of nature and believe it could possibly have been a random act. The most perfect example of creation is just looking at any healthy baby. If that doesn’t prove the existence of G-d, I don’t know what can.

(ames)hey oomis- now your dad’s story is in print!

It actually sort of was – my brother was interviewed by a local town Jewish paper and much of it was printed. we just never really seriously thought about writing a book. Who knows – someday?

(SJSinNYC)My father died 20 years ago. When my son was born (and named after him), it made me so sad that he couldn’t be a part of my son’s life. I am so much more sad for my son than I am for the fact that I grew up (for the most part) without him. He was an amazing person.

I am so sorry you lost your dad at such an obviously early age. It is especially hard to bring babies into the world who must be named for one’s parent. My nephew is named for my dad O”J. By the time my parents were niftar (I am the eldest child), I was unable to have more children, though I seriously thought of it at the time. My oldest is 30, kinehora. My sadness is in knowing that my own aineklach will never get to meet and love their Great-Bubby and Zaydie. I know what they are missing. I am sure you will always keep your father’s emmory alive for your children. Have a good Shabbos.

“On the topic of pregnancy, does any one here know the mekor for the minhag some have not to go to zoos or other such places during pregnancy? more info on this would be appreciated”

I do NOT know of an hlachic makor, however, it makes a great deal of sense to me that there is probably a reason for the old-wives’ notion that what a woman sees in pregnancy can affect her unborn child. Perhaps that idea stems from the story of Yaakov Avinu and Lavan’s flocks of sheep that he gave to Yaakov in “payment” under very strict guidelines. They began giving birth to speckled, striped, etc. lambs when Yaakov put rods on which he cut spotted and striped patterns, in their watering troughs. When they saw these sticks they were startled and the rams approached them, and then they gave birth to lambs with the same designs on their bodies as those rods, thus ensuring that Lavan could not cheat Yaakov out of his fair pay. This would seem to be a credible source for the idea that what a female sees can affect the children she will have.

“hey speaking of davening, (i should run away from here now before i lose control) but i actually davened mincha AND mariv today. plus i put on tfillin (a little late, but they went on today) not bad, ay?

i’ll bet anonymiss would give me an A+ for trying… “

Aw, why not go for the gold, Moish? (Seriously, I have always been of the belief that m’toch shelo lishma ba lishma. Maybe right now you are not doing exactly what a typical frum guy does or feels when he davens, but obviously you are working through some issues in this area, and I hope you continue on a really healthy derech and not give up. I think many people have felt similar feelings to yours, but are afraid to express them for fear of censure. You can re-connect to your tefila, and I think that some excellent things were said to you by ames in the previous posts.

Thank you, Feivel. I probably could not have gone to sleep tonight without knowing exactly how the wasp and the roach function as a unit. 😉 Now I have one more comment – EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! OK, I feel better now.

P.S. It is fascinating, though, mah rabbu maasecha, Hashem!

I am reminded of a story that happened with Rav Nachman Bulman Z”L. He had a daughter who had been married for a while with no pregnancy forthcoming. One day a man came into his shul and asked him if eh could give his daughter a bracha because she was married for a while and was having trouble conceiving. The rov replied that of course he could daven for her, but that he had tzoros with his own child’s infertility, so he didn’t know how much help he would be with someone else’s child. He then went on to say that it is well known that when one davens for another person and one needs the same thing himself, that he is answered first. So he suggested that he give his daughter’s name to the man to give to his daughter, and he took the name of the man’s daughter to give to his own daughter, and they should daven for each other to have a baby. The Rov’s daughter began davening immediately, and the other man was able to give the name of the rov’s daughter to his daughter two weeks later, and she began to daven for the other woman. They both became pregnant a month apart. One gave birth two weeks overdue, and the other gave birth two weeks early – both on the same day! True story. I knew the Rov. I believe in the koach of tefila, though sometimes the answer is not what we would hope for. But there is no question that davening for someone else can be of great benefit. The benefit accrues to us as well, as our davening for the sake of other people can ultimately inspire Hashem’s rachamim on us, as well.

I hope that all Jewish women everywhere who are trying so hard to become pregnant, should be quickly answered affirmatively by Hashem, in good health, and be zochos to bring up healthy children to Torah, chuppah, and maasim tovim.

“who eats mushroom quiche? nasty!”

I DO, and it is YUMMY, especially the way I make it (pareve), with lots of onions and mushroom sauteed together. It can even be served on Pesach, has no starch in it.

“ALSO>>> very important… when doing chesed for ppl, do it in a way that they don’t feel like a nebuch situation. It’s hard to take chesed too. I recently had to take favors from ppl and I felt so uncomfy yet in some cases they made it like I was doing them the favor (not fakely but in a real way) and other times I felt like thanks but I dont need your favor”

Excellent, excellent point. we all need help at some point in life, and it behooves us to remember how we feel when we are on the receiving end, so we are sensitive in how we give it over to others.

“We know what R’ Elyashiv holds & we know what R’ Chaim holds, so who cares what you hold?”

Clearly YOU don’t. That is your prerogative. Let me ask you, what does R’ Chaim hold on embarrassing people in public? Which Mishnah in the Mishnah Berurah discusses this?

Yossiea, I know that women can daven without their hair being covered as long as no men are present (if the women are married), although I thought the covering was for married women in the presence of their husband who is making a bracha. Irrespective of that, so why do you think girls do not have to cover their own hair with at least a hat when davening, but boys do (according to those who have referenced the Mishnah Berurah and R’ Chaim) when they are already wearing a yarmulke? Why does one need NO covering (even in Shul), and the other according to some, requires TWO?

One thing – only ONE thing??????? OY. I would want complete Shalom al Yisroel, because if that were the case, all other happiness would ensue as a result. It could only happen if Moshiach came, the Beis Hamikdash were rebuilt, our meisim were alive again, and their was total achdus in kall Yisroel.

And also, chocolate.

Areivim – B”H my delicious ainekel gave us MORE than a run for our money. Both he and WE ended up snoozing this afternoon. Kinehora, he is a little honey, but two and a half is still two and a half 🙂 and i think I burned up enough calories to entitle me to some cheescake later… Thank you for asking.

Also, since you have asked, I am going to try to recount a little bit about my dad O”H, and the miracle that was his entire life. Warning, this is a bit lengthy. I did not know about some of the things that happened to him until I was an adult. He rarely spoke about his army life. There is also another frum man who experienced some similar things, and wrote a book about his army life (I think his name was Birnbaum), but my dad’s war experiences were never written down, though we have the primary sources for them, through aritifacts,etc.

For obvious reasons, I am not going to reveal any names in this post, except for people who are known to the world. My dad started off his life in a miracle. he was extremely premature, born to my grandfather a kohein and rov/shochet, and grandmother who was in the beginning of her 8th month. he was born on Purim and became a bar-Mitzvah on Shabbos Parshas Shemini, the parsha dealing with the induction of the Kohanim. The number 8 will feature prominently in his life,as you will see. The birth took place in a European village, where the only method of caring for a preemie of 2 and a half lbs. was to shecht a cow and put the newborn in its stomach (primitive form of incubator), to warm him up. My dad B”H survived his infancy, though he was small, so small that when his parents ran to America to escape the pogroms, which had already affected the family, he appeared to be much younger than he was, and was therefore allowd to leave with them.

He grew up here in the States and enlisted in the army, though a bit underage (don’t ask me how he managed that, I have no idea. We did not know until after his death what his real age was). because my dad spoke 13 languages fluently and with the proper accent, he was recruited to serve in teh Army Intelligence Corps,a nd sent undercover in Germany to walk amongst the German citizens and gather intel. he did his job so well that he was promoted to Lieutenant and assigned to capture a Nazi gauleiter who had given orders in his town to begin what came to be known as Kristallnacht. he went with a retinue of men, including a burly Irish sergeant, who developed a great affection and respect for this Jewish guy who never slacked off, though he lived on cans of tuna, sardines,vegetables,and fruits.

They went to the villa of the nazi and demanded entry. They found him cowering in the closet in his library, a room filled with portraits of the man and his wife and children, in pastoral outdoor scenes. As leader of the group, my dad began to interrogate the man before bringing him in, and he noticed out of the corner of his eye that his Irish sergeant was trying to break the nazi’s painting. Without going into the rightness or wrongness of doing that (the man wanted to give this nazi a taste of his own Kristallnacht), my dad stopped him and took a look at the painting, which didn’t tear when the glass broke. He took it out of its backing and turned it over, and in the next moment went berserk, as he realized the protrait had been painted on a Torah Klaf. If that were not enough, he was able to clearly read the section of Torah and realized it was his own Bar-Mitzvah Parsha, Parshas Shemini! As I said, the number 8 figured prominently in his life. He started pulling at all the paintints, and realized that two others were also painted over klafim, all three were from separate sifrei Torah. My extremely gentle dad, who could barely bring himself to potch us when we deserved it, began to pummel this nazi. His sergeant had never heard him raise his voice, much less display any violence, and he stopped him by saying, “Lieutenant, I’ve never seen you get so angry at anyone, so I know if you are this upset there’s a good reason. Let me take over, I’ve had more experience fighting and I’ll do a better job!” Of course, at this point, my dad had calmed down a bit, and they took the man into custody, where he was later tried at Nuremeberg. Meanwhile, my dad took custody of all three klafim, to safeguard them. The other two parshios were Pikudei and Acharei Mos. The fact of the matter is that all three of these parshas including his own of Shemini, are the Bar-mitzvah parshas of ALL of the grandsons in our family who have at least one grandparent (on the toher side of the family) who were Holocaust survivors. And although we do not celebrate Bas-Mitzvahs per se, had my two March-birthday daughters been sons, their Bar-Mitzvahs would also have been one of those parshas. In fact my youngest daughter turned bas mitzvah bo bayom on Shabbos Parshas Shemini, her Zaydy’s parsha. My mother, O”H was born on the Shabbos of Acharei Mos, and was nifteres on Shabbos Parshas Shemini.

My dad also had an experience that I was very happy to have not learned about until I was well into my adulthood. When he and five of his men went out on a mission in their jeep, the driver unfortunately went over a land-mine, blowing the jeep and its occupants to bits. All except for my father, who landed many yards away from the explosion, completely unhurt but for his clothing being in disarray. He described the incident as if he had been plucked out of the car and gently set down in the field. He was very fortunate not only to have survived, but to have been able to safely make it back to his camp without stepping on another landmine.

Last, but not least, the Great Synagogue of Frankfort had been turned into a stable by the Nazis. Then came the liberation, and it was coming close to Rosh Hashana time. My dad was involved in helping displaced persons, but when he saw how many frum Jews there were, he realized they were going to need a shul to daven in for yom tov. The Great Shul was in ruins, but he commandeered the Germans in the city who by now were so terrified of the Americans they did anything he asked of them. He got them to clean up the Shul, and they removed the theater seats from a local movie house, and brought them to the shul to make pews. Thus, the very Germans who had made a pigsty of a beautiful shul, were now forced to clean it up and bring it back to life.

My dad was also a chazzan with a beautiful voice, and as such he was asked to being the shaliach Tzibbur for the Great Synagogue when it was readied for the Yomim Noraim. Because of the magnitude of the work involved in getting the shul ready, it attracted a lot of attention from the higher ups in the army, and as a result Generals Dwight D. Eisenhower and (I believe it is) MacArthur were in the front pew. I have the picture of them, and it is a really historical bit of evidence. After the davening, General Eiswenhower came up to my dad and told him, ” Cantor, I really liked those pretty tunes you sang.” This too, I didn’t know until later in my life, before my dad died. he virtually never spoke about himself, with the exception of going from school to school and shul to shul talking about the story of the klafim that he rescued. This he did at around the time of Yom Hashoah every year. we had debated (my siblings and I) about donating the klafim to the Holocaust museum or Yad Vashem, but we have ultimately decided that we want to keep it as a part of our father, and eidus to what he did in the war.

There is one other story from the Great Synagogue, it actually happened when my dad was davening Unesaneh Tokef. He noticed on the side, that a man was completely encased in his tallis and sobbing bitterly. After the davening the man approached him for one second, and my father saw a living skeleton before him. Before he could ask the man anything, he quickly disappeared. My dad asked the Army Chaplain who was conducting the rest of the non davening services in the Great Synagogue, if he knew the man. The Rabbi told my father the man’s name and explained to him that this man had lost his entire family and was given the gruesome task of shoveling gassed bodies onto the trucks going to the crematoria. He did this job devoid of all feeling, until the moment when he realized he had just shoveled his own daughter’s body onto the truck, and he convinced himelf that he had seen eher hand move as the truck drove away. He wanted to kill himself, but somehow managed to simply exist until the liberation. My dad never saw him again during that time.

Fast forward a decade or so. My dad married my mom, and was busy raising a family in Brooklyn. We davened in a little shul in East New York, and my dad waas often asked to daven for the omud. One Shabbos mevarchim after being shaliach tzibbur for mussaf, someone came up to my dad and said good shabbos. My dad smiled at him and replied in kind. The man asked him if he knew him. My dad said he looked familiar but couldn’t place him. The man said to him, “You don’t know me, but I know YOU!” And he proceeded to remind my father of the half-dead man whom he had encountered in the Great Synagogue that fateful night. He told him his name, and it was the very man whom my father remembered from that time. He explained to him that at the end of the war, when he realized exactly what he had lost, his wife, his children, his health, his hope for the future, he had really despaired that he would ever be able to live again. “Then, “he said, ” I heard your beautiful Unesaneh Tokef, and I realized there was something the nazis had not been able to ever take from us. Your voice and words of the machzor gave mea reason to live, that I knew there was hope for the Jewish people. we were not destroyed, and the Aibeshter would never let them get us. I prayed all these years to hear that beautiful voice again, and The Ribbono Shel Olam answered my prayers.” He had come to America after the war and started his life over, married again and raised a new family. People in our Shul in those years used to talk about this as they met the man,but I never knew what they meant until I was older.

I really apologize for going on and on. I actually gave you the capsule summary. I have often been told that our family should write a book about this, but without my dad or any of the family members who were alive then, to enhance my meager knowledge of what happened, it is only half a story. We have the klafim to stand in eidus for my dad, and it is in my brother’s possession. But all the principal characters in the story have died, as far as we know. I do enjoy looking at the picture of Eisenhower and MacArthur, in the front row of the shul, though. Eisenhower was a very dignified looking man, and he was very respectful of the Shul and the Jews in it, at that time, by all accounts.

If anyone thinks that in 2 weeks’ time they know enough about someone to base a decision that will affect the rest of their lives, then more power to them. Some, such as Mrs. Beautiful, are very fortunate (and I am truly delighted for you, Mrs. B. you sound very happy, B”H). Most people, in my humble opinion, cannot possibly know someone is THE one in only two weeks, though they might have a pretty good idea that this is a shidduch that is worth pursuing more seriously by then. JMO

oomis you are mistaken about that. It depends on what “stage” the divorce is in. If there is a possibility that it may not happen, she is not forbidden to him.

Squeak, they were going to the Beis Din very shortly and were already living apart for many months. There was absolutely NO chance of reconciliation – the man was a complete loser and abuser who showed his true colors shortly after the wedding.

A(not so)PushetaYid – thank you, but I am not amazing – my parents were, though. You want stories???? Boy oh boy do I have stories. The most amazing thing is they are all emes.

It is late at night right now, and I am B”EH babysitting my ainekel all day from early tomorrow morning, so I must get to bed. But when I next have a chance, I will post, for those who may be interested in reading this, the stories of the nissim which my father Z”L experienced during World War II (he was an army intelligence officer), as well as what we who sat shiva for him, collectively were zocheh to experience on the Shabbos of the shiva week. I mamesh feel that I have posted these things before, or else I am having a case of deja vu right now, but even if I did, the stories bear repetition, and also remind us who is truly fiering the world. Good night.

No hat, in a minyan, any day. Always better to daven with a minyan. When we davenw ith a klal, even when our own zechusim may fall short, the collective zechusim of the whole shul, give us an edge in our tefilos, that we might not have b’yechidus.

Moish, if you are underage, as you said, and you smoke even occasionally, you are not only damaging your health, you are rbeaking the law, as well. I am not telling you what to do, mind you, but your attitude is so typical of teenagers who think they are immortal and impervious to any harm. I knew another Moish once upon a time. He was my boyfriend and he broke up with me because he had begun to smoke again after quitting, and I nagged him about it (I admit to being a pain in the neck on the subject). As I said, we broke up, he continued to smoke sporadically over the next almost 20 years, then finally gave it up. Unfortunately it was too late. He was at work one day, didn’t feel so well and took the train home. He never made it there, because he had a massive fatal coronary on the train and was dead before he hit the floor. This was a real and probably preventable tragedy for his wife and sons. For those who beleive bashert is bashert (and I usually am one of them), I also feel that the choices we make in life, determine what is bashert for us. Maybe there is a Lady Or the Tiger scenario, and depending on which door we pick, our path in life alters. We know that teshuvah, tefila, and tzedaka maavirin es roa hagezaira. I am sure that other things we do, also have an impact.

“Lately, I’ve had a lot of (truly) innocuous posts not show up. Mods, have you been deleting a lot of my posts? I’m not asking WHY, only IF. If the answer is no, I think maybe there is something wrong with the computer that I use (I definitely typed it out and clicked send, but maybe it doesn’t transmit?).”

Squeak, I have also seen one or two posts not make it to print. They may not be perceived to be as innocuous as we think they are. Maybe they could potentially offend someone, unintentionally.

“you know what, i don’t think i would like it if a random girl on the street greeted my husband”

There are greetings and then there are GREETINGS. A simple good Shabbos, should not be out of line for anyone, but if anybody feels offended, they need not look up, but they can nod their head or mutter good shabbos in return, just to show derech eretz and ot embarrass another Yid in public.

(Just as a sidebar) : My dad once told me an interesting D’var Torah of why when we say “Sholom aleichem,” to someone, the response is in reverse, “Aleichem, sholom.”

Again, I do not recall in whose name this was said originally – but the reason that he was told, is that when Whe are makdim someone b’sholom, which is Hashem’s name, specifically because we are being makdim, we have a special shemirah on our health at that given moment. The person who was not makdim b’sholom, has no such shemirah on himself, therefore if he said Hashem’s name of “Sholom” and something happened between saying the Name and saying the word “aleichem,” he could have said Hashem’s name l’vatalah. At the time my dad told me this, he was trying to impress on me the idea of not making a bracha l’vatalah, that the Shem in any form is holy, and even when greeting someone, we must always be cognizant of that.

“But I could be wrong…

That’s right”

Joseph, my comment was meant tongue in cheek. I really don’t think a rov really can or SHOULD dispense such advice to young girls. To me that is extremely untniusdig, and in any case, this is a woman’s job to talk to her daughters. Should he also talk to them about the facts of life? Some things are NOT meant to be discussed with a rov, especially when they are not halachic issues. NOT EVERYTHING IS SHAYACH TO A ROV. It’s really about time, some people started to take a little more responsibilty for their lives.

Daas Torah does not mean that every rov has the intuitive sensitivity to know everything about everything. As a matter of fact, some rabbonim have made some personal matters worse for the individuals they counselled, because their advice was absolutely awful (like the rov I know who insisted to an acuaintance of mine,a woman about to get divorced, that she had to continue to go the Mikvah each month and be with her husband that night. She became pregnant, STILL got divorced a few months later, and gave birth to a child that she now had to support on her own, because her ex-husband was incapable and unwilling to make any money for child support). Knowledge of Torah does not necessarily equal knowledge of human nature, in spite of what you may think. Plenty of Rabbonim have been divorced, had terrible marriages that they remained in, had children go off the derech, committed crimes, were emotionally unstable, and so forth. Being a talmid chochum does not automatically confer wisdom in all areas on anyone.

I say this, not to denigrate rabbonim, chas v’sholom, but rather to point out that they are human and make mistakes, and certain areas of life should not necessarily be in their sphere of influence, in my opinion. What a mother needs to teach her daughters, is one of those areas. Again, JMO. I am sure you disagree, but that is your right, B”H.

At least, you get to think for yourself.

Thanks for the reference, ICOT.

ChofetzChaim, maybe it is because girls have binah yesaira, we do not require the same input from Daas Torah, as you seem to feel is so necessary for a dating bochur. Since time began girls have gotten their dating advice from mother to daughter, from a close female teacher, from close friends who are already dating or married, and from their own instincts. They are taught Hilchos Taharas Hamishpacha in high school, and I guarantee you that more than one General Schmooze (that pesky guy, again) is devoted to the subject of dating for tachlis. I further doubt that most girls would feel very comfortable discussing this with a rabbi, and I cannot imagine a rov who would want to tackle this subject with a classroom full of girls. But I could be wrong…

“Unfortunately, the mod linked back to your previous posting of the story and I was confronted with some truly horrifying responses to your story.”

I saw those responses, and to be honest, I feel the posters really don’t have a clue about how to act in relation to non-Jews. Any act of kindness that we show to a non-Jew is of benefit, if only because it makes US better people, just through the act of doing something nice for another person. Kal V’chomer it is a good thing when the non-Jew clearly recognizes that his benefactor is a frum Jew. My belief in this was validated even further by the fact that Hashem chose the similar type of people whom my husband helped to be the vehicle for our s’char mitzvah by helping him in turn.

There is a story told (not sure if it is true or just told as an object lesson) about a Jew who lived next door to a German in Germany. They were not friends, but every day when the saw each other outside, the Jew would smile and say, “Good morning, Herr Schmidt” (I am not sure of the names, so I am making them up), and although clearly ill at ease, Herr Schmidt would nod his head, “And to you, Herr Goldberg.” This went on for a long time, with neither man taking the relationship further than this daily civil exchange. Then came the Nazis, and Herr Schmidt became an SS officer. Herr Goldberg and his family were taken away and were taken off the trains at the camps as the SS was sending people to the left or the right. Herr Goldberg’s family’s turn arrived, and the officer looked up about to flick his hand in a dangerous direction, when Goldberg suddenly said, “Good morning, Herr Schmidt.” SS Officer Schmidt, without missing a beat, said, “And to you, herr Goldberg, ” and motioned him and his family to life.

Chas v’shalom, that we or any of our loved ones should ever need to depend on the “chessed” of such a man as Schmidt. But the fact is, Hashem wants us to show kovod habrios, not merely kovod ha yehudim. That is how I was raised, and I have never regretted being a mensch “even” to a non-Jew.