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AARGGGGGHHHHH! I want to do this but my grandson is with me and I have to get off-line.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.”
In my case, that would be cheesecake.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
Not that I am a tzadeikes in any way, but it seems axiomatic to me that any of us who B”H gets up in the morning, has a job to go to, children and/or grandchildren to play with (the koach to do so), good health, or recovering health, people around him/her who love and care about them, WOULD have appreciation for Hashem. So why do some of us take His Chessed for granted?
Why do we say modeh ani every morning? Not because HASHEM needs it, surely. It’s because it is a really good thing to start every morning with that recognition that but for Hashem, we would not be here to even say modeh ani. It just seems so simple to me. And I am not a Pollyanna. I have had and do have my share of nisyonos of life, some more painful than others. But that, too, is a wakeup call for some of us, to remind us of how good life can be, and how we need to appreciate that good, which unfortunately sometimes is not recognized until we compare it with something not so good.
Someone once said, “I felt bad that I didn’t have a new pair of shoes – until I saw a man who had no feet.” That about sums it up for me.
I could go either way, but only if it’s toasted.
Yellow, (but ONLY diet) peach
Did I really type expectating???????
Please do not ever say President Reagan and Obama in the same sentence. The former WAS a leader, while the latter is most assuredly not.
OMG, of COURSE it is a story. This is a joke that has been making the rounds. It’s meant to illustrate a point, as are all the other stories. Even when a mashal never happened, you can always learn SOMETHING from it.
I respect the right of each citizen to vote his/her conscience, but frankly, I do not get how anyone voted for Obama the SECOND time. If a prize were to be given for most vacations and golf games arranged during a presidency (and worse – during a crisis situation during a presidency), I think he would win hands down.
Some people like chocolate and some vanilla, and that’s why one MAY find out the gender if one so chooses, or may elect NOT to. I only wish I had the technology perfected when I was expectating babies. I would absolutely have wanted to know. And no, it never made a difference to us, boy or girl.
I wouldn’t tell before going into the 2nd Trimester. That is my personal feeling about this. others may feel differently. I would tell parents/grandparents first, then my sibs, followed by other relatives, and friends. I would probably wait until I was showing before telling most people, other than my most imemdiate family.
I had a friend who didn’t tell me until she was ready to give birth. That is extreme. I also had the experience, sadly, of telling my in-laws I was expecting my second child, only to literally begin miscarrying seconds later. Had I waited even one minute more to tell them the news (it was Chanukah, and we went over to see them, and I told them I had a special Chanukah present for them), I would never have said a word about it and they would not have had to deal with the sad news that we lost the baby.
B’shaa tova umutzlachas by you. You should have a beautiful, healthy pregnancy and very easy delivery of a healthy, wonderful baby, BE”H. I personalyl would want to know the gender of the baby, especially if a Sholom Zochor and Bris might be in the works. But I would only tell people on a need to know basis. Grandparents probably fit into that category.
peach Snapple vs. raspberry Snapple
You haven’t LIVED until you have tried Trop-a-Rocka Snapple!!!! I used to be a diet peach fan, but T-a-R is the BEST!!!!
1,2,3,4
I declare Color War!
I don’t need any “proof.” I already know it.
Again, none of us knows what happened here. Please encourage her to be frank about what she perceived. It is entirely possible that either a) you will actually agree with her and think that perhaps you need to look for another Rov, b) you will be able to help her see that she might have misunderstood or overreacted (after first validating her discomfort to her, i.e. “I can see you are very upset by this situation…”), or c)you will speak to the Rov and explain that whatever he said to her made her uncomfortable and you would like to understand what really happened, what his intentions were, and clear up any misunderstanding, if that is still possible.
Of course, there is one more possibility – she is a really hyper-sensitive person and the Rov did and said nothing objectively offensive, but he caught her at a bad moment. If that is the case, she still needs to understand that, and you have some thinking to do about your relationship. Hatzlacha rabbah.
I have found that a really good thermos works well only when filled just before Shabbos when it starts around 8PM. In the winter months, the coffee is already tepid by morning. I have tried the double strength brewing, and adding boiling water the next morning, as I would do with tea essence. It’s ok.
At first, I thought this was a thread about Israeli cabdrivers.
oomis is right. No mispronunciations in this thread.
Daniel Q, you expressed yourself eloquently. I do think however, that it would probably be a huge challenge for most parents whose kids are being tormented, to find it within themselves to try to help the bully. Their own child’s physical and emotional well-being would take precedence (as it should). But I think you are generous of spirit, and that is a wonderful middah.
Oomis, a school day should not be long enough to require recess. “
Whether or not it SHOULD be that long is open to debate, but the fact is that the school day IS extremely long, and thus requires a couple of breaks for the children. In a household where both parents must earn a living (or where one parent is NOT earning a living), the longer school day enables them to to do their job, knowing their children are in ensconced in school.
He no longer has a viable reason to be in contact with her, it is now pritzus. Communication ended. OVER.’
I SO hope you were being facetious. This is a conversation for a tachlis, NOT pritzus.
oomis got it on the head. Perhaps she really is the best bubbe ever?”
Why, thank you. I like to think so! 🙂
I think you need to elicit from her exactly what he said that offended her so much. There may be so much more to this than you have been told, and perhaps it might alter your own thinking about the wisdom of his being your rebbie. She needs to be utterly candid with you.
Just as an aside, sometimes women have a better intuition about certain things than do men. We read body language, we interpret signals differently, and even Avraham Avinu was told by Hashem to listen to all that his wife said, regarding Yishmael and Hagar. This young lady could be noticing things that you as a man, have not. Or, this could all be conjecture and she may be overreacting to something completely innocent.
In either case, you absolutely MUST have a candid talk with the young lady, and find out what’s bothering her. Communication is THE most important thing in a developing relationship, and if she cannot be honest with you about her concerns now, then she will not find it easier in the future.
After you talk to her, then I think you need to speak with the rabbi, and get his perspective. He may be unaware of something he said or did that bothered her. Or he may not have done or said ANYTHING that should have bothered her. Find out.
IMO as a cranky old lady, this boy proved himself to be completely not ready for marriage, and thus the girl seems to have dodged a bullet. Of course, we only have HER version of the story, so there could be more to it than that of which we are aware.
In general, people need to man up and act like grownups in these uncomfortable moments in life. I “get” why a guy might choose the cowardly and less confrontational route. It is a difficult conversation to have with the girl. But there will ALWAYS be difficult conversations in life, breaking up, firing someone from a job, BEING the someone who got fired, telling one’s children unpleasant news,telling a friend when he is doing something hurtful, telling one’s SPOUSE the same thing, etc. And the sooner we learn how to deal with these unpleasant and uncomfortable moments that inevitable crop up in all our lives, the better.
Sending a text after 10 dates is just cowardly,impersonal, and makes the person who does it, look like a jerk. I know people who have done that after 2 or 3 dates, and perhaps that made less of a hassle for them. But when feelings are more seriously involved and there may already be a strong attachment, the person with whom someone is breaking up, deserves at least an honest conversation in person. It is just simple menschlechkeit. This cranky old lady has spoken.
The only problem with a white skirt, is keeping it clean-looking. Anything else negative that has been written, is over-thinking the tznius issue. It SHOULD be lined, or with a good slip, to prevent it from becoming see-through.
To Be… :p
RebYidd, kids NEED some downtime a couple of times during the school day. A fifteen minute recess is not a bad thing. Sending them home earlier will not solve the problem, and in fact gives the problematic child more time to get into mischief after school.
There IS a huge problem with kids being taught not to “rat” on each other. But there is a huge difference between telling a teacher one has been shoved (or worse), than telling a teacher another child hid the eraser or threw a spitball. Violent action must be dealt with immediately with ZERO tolerance. Little bullies often grow up to be big ones, and btw,quite often, so do the kids upon whom they pickthey pick. Abused children grow up frequently to become abusive adults.
Some people feel marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition. If each partner in the marriage is giving more than his/her 50%, meaning each one wants to make the other one feel respected, happy, and cherished, then it’s a good foundation upon which to build.
No bullying, no tolerance for bullies, no “boys will be boys”, or “girls can be so catty,” should EVER be acceptable in a Jewish environment (or ANY environment). You bully during recess – you lose recess. You bully on the schoolbus – your parents have to drive you. You bully anywhere, you are a delinquent.
In middle school, my son had his glasses broken when he got between a bully and the smaller child whom was attacking at the back of the schoolbus. The bully hit my son in the face, breaking his glasses. My son nevertheless got him off the smaller child and alerted the driver. When I called the parents of the boy (a known bully)to ask them what they planned to do about my son’s broken glasses, the mom’s response, “Maybe next time, he’ll learn not to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong.” Or something to that effect. They did not pay for his new glasses (our optometrist replaced it for free, as a result). With an attitude like that, how could any child ever develop a sense of right or wrong from such a parent?
PS – my son still sticks up for the underdog.
Gamanit – how CLEVER!!!!!!!!
Botul b’shishim?…(this is why we have a Rov to ask such kashas).
I learned a valuable lesson. Do not drink too much water the day before the fast.
Steal a million dollars.
Are there any shadchanim that might specialize in shidduchim for shorter guys?
Nah. Interesting try, though.
We don’t respond with names of Gedolim, because we KNOW they are Jewish. The OP was referring to people who are “celebrities” whom we might not have known are/were Jews. Personally, I believe that even in the cases of those who were halachically non-Jews, that the pintele Yid that came somewhere from their ancestry, is what gave them an edge and talent for becoming famous.
LOOK FOR THE UNION LABEL”
Boy, does that date us!!!! (and btw, I was singing it in my head, when I typed it).
May all the naarishkeit in your kup, give you happy memories of your father Z”L.
He is Yaakov Avraham ben Michleh. Thank you, Bookworm. I appreciate your thoughtfulness.
Usually has me in stitches, but the ILGWU gave me mussar.
Many thanks, have a good, peaceful Shabbos, and may we celebrate this coming Tisha B’Av as the yom tov it was meant to be.
Shout out to Sam 2 also. You were quite right, Ivdu!
Halevai. From your keyboard, to Hashem’s Ears.
Little Froggie, we cannot always be happy all the time. I am delighted to settle for real happiness MUCH of the time. The rest, I guess, we have to work on to let the bad stuff not keep us down. Sometimes, it is extremely challenging (like the matzav in E”Y, and/or personal tragedies), but if it is a case of the “blahs,” hang in there, and know that gam zeh ya’avor. If we wake up in the morning and get out of bed and are able to go about our business -that’s a major bracha. Even when life is un-fluffy, there are moments that make it worthwhile.
My husband is having surgery a week from today I”YH, for one of three serious medical conditions he is experiencing. My friend’s great-nephew was one of the soldiers killed in Gaza recently. A teenage girl for whom I was saying Tehillim – a stranger to me – was unfortunately nifteres last month after a courageous battle, and though I did not know her personally, I feel a portion of her mother’s anguish, as I also share with the mothers and fathers of the three korbonos for whom we davened for 18 days, not knowing they were already dead.
So much sadness floats around us, so much fear and anxiety of what is and what will be. But there are also moments of clarity and simcha. I look at my 2 year old grandson every morning and cannot possibly be sad in his presence. He has taught me more about simchas hachayim than anything else around me. And I thank Hashem for all the good things in my life, even as I recognize that there are some challenges which we all face, as well. So much better to be an optimist, would you not agree?
So I hope that whatever it is that you are experiencing that is negatively affecting you, will be gone quickly, and that we all merit to see the true simcha of Tisha B’Av even this year. I won’t say cheer up, because that is easy for me to do from where I sit typing, but I hope you yourself will feel the good cheer returning in short order.
Can everyone stop saying how their mother was taller then their father?! this is not 1930’s Europe.”
Adam, my folks got married in 1949, and my mom was a Yankee. And yes, she was taller, as I have mentioned. But she fell for my dad the first time she laid eyes on him (he was giving a shiur). You are right, though, attraction is a preference, and no one’s business but that of the party involved. No one should LIE about anythign, especially when it is immediately discernible. However, when someone describes a girl or boy as attractive, they cannot be faulted if most people might disagree, because to them that person might very well be so.
Froggie, THAT does not sound so good. What’s going on?
Yes it absolutely is sakanas nefashos. If you are near a tree, it could attract lightning. If you are in an open area, YOU can attract the lightning. It looks for the tallest, closest outlet. In fact, I am told thaty if someone is caught in an open field, they should curl up into the tightest ball they can make of themselves and go to the ground. The smaller the target, the greater the chance of avoiding being struck. AND DON’T TALK ON A CORDED PHONE DURING A STORM.
SIDI – wow, 2 for 2 today. I am blushing. Thank you for the VERY kind words. (Don’t be jealous of my grandchildren – I’m not as perfect as I look, though I AM quite humble)…
All tall, very good-looking guys with sparkling personalities are hereby exempt from the freezer.
All guys under 5’9″ who do not meet the above criteria, please do us all a favor and stay there. “
Golfer, it is a huge difference between saying a girl and guy should be attracted to each other, to saying all tall, good-looking guys are exmept from the freezer, etc. Attraction is a mystical thing, which you can see if you look at most married couples. Have you never seen a couple and wondered, what does he/she see in her/him? Many objectively not so good-looking people are good looking to SOMEONE. No one knows what makes someone veer towards another. That is one of Hashem’s great miracles. Short people are attractive, too. It’s just a matter of finding THE person to whom the height is not an issue at all.
Unfortunately boys DO turn down shidduchim for looks (if the pictures even get past their moms). Often, so do girls, which is why I believe a blind date should be a double-blind, where neither party knows what the other one looks like in advance.
Bookworm, thank you, that made my day!
I think that nearly everyone who posts here, is well-intentioned, and not mean-spirited, even when they are being ascerbic (NOT directing this at anyone with initials PBA)…
We are an eclectic community with a diversity of opinion, and that sometimes leads to a little negativity in response by some, but for the most part, I think we are a caring group of friends who have (mostly) never met each other, except on this blog, and for us to continue to have been part of that same community for several years (certainly so in my case), says something very positive to me. I have seen many of us being helpful to others, worried about their nisyonos, davening for each other, lending a virtual shoulder to cry on, and sometimes, getting tough when tough is what was needed.
We may disagree (if we can do so without being disagreeable, that is so much better), but at the end of the day (my new favorite overused expression), we are all Klal Yisroel. May we be zochim to see Moshiach b’yameinu.
It’s much more easy to relax and converse when you are in the passenger seat than when you are the one who has to drive 2 hours, meet the parents, find a place to eat, find parking, and be the perfect gentleman the whole way. “
True for the most part, but meeting the parents does not have to be a “do or die” proposition. I do not think that even one guy that my daughters have dated, could possibly say meeting my husband and me was an uncomfortable experience. They might have been nervous PRIOR, but surely not after, because we are a warm and friendly bunch at my house. No interrogations, no nuthin’. Just hello, nice to meet you, where are you going tonight, and have a great time.
The other aspects, driving around, finding where to go (and really, the guy should already have an idea of that BEFORE the date), and parking, can be stressors, but “being a perfect gentleman the whole way,” should be a no-brainer and a given. A fellow who does not know how to be a gentleman, needs to be taught good manners prior to being in shidduchim, if his parents have not already instilled them in him. My husband comes from very poshut, non-frum people, who had more menschlechkeit and good middos bein adam l’chaveiro in their little fingers than many FFB people (with or without a hat)that I have seen, have in their entire bodies.
1) It happens ALL the time, just as many guys will not go out with a girl who is not a size 2 or 4.
2) It shouldn’t happen, but no one has a right to tell another person what they should find attractive or not.
3) My daughter is 5’2″ and went out with many guys who are short (under 5’6″ by most standards of average height). Even though she prefers taller guys, she wanted to give it a chance. She came to realize that she is actually physically uncomfortable looking right at a guy’s eyes at or close to the same height as herself. This is a personal preference, and no girl should be condemned for it, unless she is being really unreasonable and refusing to even consider an othewise perfect (on paper) shidduch for even one date. But if she likes to wear non-flats, and he is shorter than herself by several inches when she is WEARING flats, that makes many girls self-conscious.
4) My dad O”H was several inches shorter than my mom. Never bothered her, because he was a giant in Limud Torah, brilliant in his secular knowledge, and expert in his field, bringing relief from physical pain to many people, often at no charge when they could not afford to pay.
5) The bottom line is that girls AND boys have the right to feel attracted to their spouses. If lack of height is bothersome (and many guys also do not want shorter girls, because, “they show weight gain faster”), then that person cannot be convinced to feel otherwise. That is, unless they reach a point at which they recognize that shidduchim are dwindling, and they need to re-prioritize.
I think that for many girls, the bloom and appeal have worn off the rose of fully/indefinitely financially supporting their husbands while running a household, having baby after baby (that they cannot afford, because there is only one salary coming in from an already overburdened wife), and basically having a marriage in which one member is not fully participating.
When girls ask for “normal” at least in my experience, they are often saying they want a guy who is ehrliche frum, knows how to learn and makes time to do so, but also recognizes that a marriage takes two people to make it work, and the responsibility has to be borne by both. They want a guy who will be able to have a normal and pleasant conversation with them and with their friends and families, who has a sense of humor, pleasant personality, grooms himself hygienically (VERY VERY IMPORTANT, and one would think this is a given, but for so many guys, it isn’t), and is THERE for his wife, when she needs him, and sometimes, even when she doesn’t, simply because they are married and need to build their relationship together.