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Mazel tov Ivory!!!!! Much, much nachas!!!!
If we believe in the concept of a dybbuk, then we believe in exorcism, too.
I say, Amein, gam ahta (aht ahtem, ahten, whichever is grammatically appropriate.
“HERE IS ONE: WHATS THE MEANING OF THE BLESSING ON THE MOON ? (AND DONT SAY BECAUSE g-D SAID SO ,BECAUSE IM ASKING WHY DID G-D SAY SO?) “
I wouldn’t venture to second-guess Hashem, but the moon was created and serves as the Maor Hakatan, it has a strong gravitational pull on the ocean, which affects the tides, and there is a ripple effect.
SECOND QUESTION: WHY IS IT THAT I BELIEVE THAT MONEY SOLVES ALL PROBLEMS ,WHEN I INTELLECTUALLY UNDERSTAND THAT ITS FALSE? “
probably you believe this because quite frankly, having a sufficient amount of it DOES solve many problems, even as it creates others.
Here is a third question – WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING BY WRITING ALL IN CAPS?
Oomis, I asked because the OP was referring to engagement. Your mind is probably more on kiddushin now. 🙂 Mazel Tov.”
You’re absolutely right. And thanks. Although my mind right now is on what in the world am I going to fit into to wear for Shabbos Sheva Brachos, after eating at the wedding and the two previous SB dinners this week!!!!
Wow, all this good news, bli ayin hara, kein yorbu. Gefen, much nachas in marrying off your daughter. Thanks SIDI.
Oomis, are you referring to the engagement ring, or wedding band (kiddushin ring)?”
Kiddushin. After the chuppah, the ring may be engraved and cut through and through, to whatever extent desired. Before the chuppah, I remember the rabbonim examining the ring to be sure there were no holes going through it. I did not understand why, but they said it has to be solid for the harei aht part.
I think that doing ANY mitzvah makes us more worthy of being answered affirmatively by Hashem. It happens that I am greatly troubled by people who talk during the davening and laining. I cannot focus on my own davening, and in my shul I am the “wicked witch” (yeah, THAT lady whom we all knew from our own childhood) who is always going outside to shush the young men who are standing outside the ezras nashim, talking naarishkeit.
People do not realize what a chutzpah it is to be asking the R”SO for our bakoshos, when we don’t even have the respect for Him that we would show a famous person who is talking to us. WHY would we think Hashem would be predisposed to saying “yes” when we didn’t even have the courtesy to refrain from extraneous (and dare I say, stupid)irrelevant conversation while we are supposed to be engaged in conversation with HIM?
Engraving should not go all the way through. A ring needs to be solid at the core. My sister has “sahmtich k’chotam al libi,” on hers. Many people have (especially this month of Elul) Ani l’Dodi v’Dodi Li.” My son and daughter-in-law decided hers should be plain.
Sorry I just saw this now *(been a “little” busy…) MAZEL TOV and so much simcha to your chosson and you together. May you build a B”NB in good health and have all the brachos that a chosson and kallah deserve.
I am deeply saddened for the obvious pain this has caused you. And the fact that the pain would be worse after the fact of marriage, is of little comfort. But I hope you may be comforted by the idea that this shidduch was not the right time and place for you (see my post in the Mazel tov thread.)
When it’s right, it’s right. This was not your time with this person.
Is it not because the pizza shop owners are Israeli? Maybe they opened their first pizza place in Yerushalayim, and hence called their USA shop, Jerusalem 2.
Boruch Dayan HaEmes. So sorry for your family’s loss, Syag.
There’s nothing abnormal about wanting to have a nice Shabbos seuda alone in your own home, and no reason to think that just because you like setting a dozen places at the table, there’s something wrong with eating alone.”
FTR, Golfer, I would point out that I personally never said anyone was abnormal (not saying you said I did), just that wanting consistently to be by oneself even on Shabbos and yom tov (especially Pesach) is not a typical thing for most of us. People want to connect with others, and sharing a meal on Shabbos or yom tov is a fundamental common ground, even for a shy person. I think we all should be comfortable enough in our own skins to enjoy our own company, but Breishis teaches us that it is not good for man to be alone and I suspect that holds true for us ladies, too. At least, some of the time.
Now, I am hungry! (I hope you were referring to me, otherwise I am being VERY presumptuous)!
haifagirl – would you agree that some people might find your desire to eat by yourself (even on Pesach) outside the mainstream population? Very few people consistently want to eat their meals alone. I assume you are a wonderful cook, and perhaps they are not, but what about companionship, someone to share a dvar Torah with on Shabbos? Why do you seem to feel that an invitation out means the person thinks you can’t cook for yourself or are too stupid to know how to say kiddush? That’s quite an assumption to be making about other people, wouldn’t you say?
I think most people want to be nice and kind, and we should not read into their motives too deeply. Sometimes we need to take things at face value. I am sure your company is enjoyable, meaning that you are a person who can enjoy being by yourself, but we all need others at various times, and Shabbos and yom tov seem to be the worst times to be alone. Just saying…
In any case, you cettainly have the right to live as you choose, but from someone who loves having company and BEING company, I admit that this is a first for me, reading your post.
Francorachel/ Thank you.
RebYidd – you’re right about you specifically inviting a woman to dine, but for people who have both husband AND wife at home, it is nice to include people who are alone, whoever they may be, male or female, with or without children. Only twice in 37 years have I not asked someone back for a second meal, and in both cases the guest acted inappropriately either in my home or elsewhere that I observed, and I therefore felt uncomfortable with hosting that person again. I am not saying we have to invite divorcees, widows and their male counterparts to EVERY meal, but it is thoughtful and sensitive to recognize that they are probably very lonely, and would like the companionship of others for a yom tov, if not Shabbos meal.
BTW, to all the divorced or widowed men and women – it would not hurt for YOU to invite other people in your same boat, or even the people who have hosted you, to come for a meal at your house sometime, or if money is tight, offer to do something nice for them, like babysit, or the like. (No, I am not suggesting the men should do this). When there is some measure of reciprocity, it could help alleviate the feeling that some people might have of being a “nebach” if they are contributing positively to the relationship.
IMO, everyone should stop obsessessing with things or themselves as being “higher” “lower”. A good Yeshivah is a good Yeshivah, and working on yourself in ANY area of life does not make you “higher” (because if you actually perceive yourself that way, then you are a baal gaiveh, which automatically makes you lower).
We all need to work on our hashkafos, on our middos, on our avodas Hashem. Only Hashem can decide if we are higher or not. Putting down other schools, people, hashkafos, modes of dress, shidduch style, decisions about earning or learning (or both), is counter-productive, and certainly not a positive aspect of being a Torah-true Jew.
Essen New York Deli. GREAT food, and wonderful proprietors!
oomis, when a father refuses to pay for his child’s wedding it is wrong. But it must also be noted that unfortunate situation usually is a result of when a mother actively worked to disenfranchise the children from their father. “
That may very well be so and any woman who knowingly distances the children from their (innocent of wrongdoing)father, in order to get back at him, is doing the wrong thing, unless he was violent and abusive to them or to her. However, it may also be so that the father has not been present in his kids’ lives by his own choice, due to mental illness, or because he has a new family with a second marriage. No one really knows the true story. I was only commenting on the fact that a divorced parent may have no additional resources to pay for a simcha.
Lior – many divorcees have exes who refuse to pay towards their own children’s weddings. Don’t think that does not happen all too often. Sometimes the burden of cost is falling solely on the one parent (usually, but not always, the mom). When you see a father refuse to chip in for his own children’s simchas, tuition, orthodonture, etc. his laissez-faire attitude may even be one of the reasons that the marriage initially failed. No one but the two people involved really knows the truth.
As to divorcees being offended at being invited or asked if they need help – SERIOUSLY??????????????? There is pride, and there is foolish pride. But if someone says no to an invitation, then try again at another time. And keep trying.
My next door neighbor was widowed recently, lo aleinu, and I invited her to join us for Shabbos meals. She has been going to her son, and said thank you, but she is usually going to be by them. My response? “Enjoy your aineklach whenever you want to be away by them, but I am giving you an open invitation to simply show up at my door Friday night and Shabbos lunch, as often as you like. You don’t need any formal invitation from me anymore. You are always welcome by my Shabbos and yom tov table, just make sure I’m home. And I mean it!” She really appreciated that.
Don’t stop inviting someone just because they said no (unless you are uncomfortable with them, for some reason). Sometimes they need to see you really mean it. It is not being a nebach, it is called v’ahavta l’rayacha kamocha.
mazel tov on making the Siyum, may you make many more in good health!!!
You should. Sometimes sifted ingredients are different in volume than the unsifted, because and they get aerated when sifted, so you might actually need slightly more flour than you think. I.E., it may be that 1 cup of sifted flour, is not the same as 1 cup of flour, sifted. Read cake recipes very carefully, because it makes a real difference in the lightness of the cake.
People were not segregated from each other by gender, as completely as they are today. There were no stupid “rules” of how to set up shidduchim. A shidduch was suggested to both a boy and girl,the boy called the girl and they went out. There was none of the nonsense of submitting resumes and CIA background checks before a shidduch could go forward. People went out with more than one person in a given week (unless it was becoming obvious there was a more serious connection being made, and then the relationship became exclusive with the one person being dated)
Even better, the boys and girls met at Shul or Jewish-sponsored College events, Bnei Akiva or some other type of group, or even at camp. If the boy and girl were compatible, they went out again, no reporting to shadchanim to break it off or tell the person it’s a go for another date. Dating couples acted like grownups, and they called each other on the telephone in between dates. Texting IMO, is one of the worst things that has happened to our kids’ dating lives. No one knows how to have a real conversation anymore. 40 years ago when I was still waiting to meet my Bashert, things were SO much easier.
I’m pretty old (or so my kids think).
Does marie post?”
No, but Emily does.
OYOYOY made a good point, though I would not let that stop me from trying to be of help. HOWEVER, there is a phenomenon that some women feel threatened by the presence of a divorcee in their homes. There unfortunately IS some valid reason for that, because there is a certain type of divorcee who lets her dependence on the helpful male neighbor become something else. Sometimes lines are crossed, not even necessarily aveiros chas v’sholom, but just neediness that becomes inappropriate.
I am not accusing any divorcee of seeking to cause sholom bayis problems for others, but it sometimes does happen even innocently, and it makes some wives wary. That said, I have friends who are divorced, and we have maintained spearate relationships with both ex-husband and wife.
You just have to know where to draw the line, while at the same time being reasonably supportive. Yomim tovim can be especially hard, if the children are with the non-custodial parent.
Just use seichel, and offer that help or invitation, but as an adjunct, not as a substitute.
R’ Paysach Krohn says, if you marry for money, you’ll soon lose interest. “
lose interest in the money or in the girl? “
IT’S A PUN!!!!!!! Kinda like, ” If you ignore your good health – don’t worry, it will leave you.
Are you saying you’re CHICKEN?????
TBONTB – Can your wife outsource you? 🙂
He who pays the piper, calls the tune. Marry for money, and watch those puppet strings attach themselves to you. Marry the girl who hashkafically matches you, has middos that you would want to see inculcated in your children, and to whom you are attracted. If her family has money, and despite that, they too, are menschlech, then you have a wonderful shidduch.
The only thing I thought was an issue is if the kli has an indentation (such as a 1 quart glass measuring cup)at the rim.
BTW, you may be unaware that “heebie jeebie” is a pejorative expression meaning “Hebrew/Jew-boy,” and when one uses that term (typically to imply something gives him “the creeps” or even might be occult in nature), it is an extremely Anti-Semitic remark. Most people do not know this, but I learned about it when researching the origins of commoly-used expressions. “Gee” is also another expression Jews should not use, because it comes from the name of the guy from 2014 years ago, in whose name we are caused a lot of grief.
LOL – when did yellow become “OOMIS’ team” – I am just a player like everyone else! (I actually WAS a Color War team captain once upon a time, when dinosaurs ruled the world. We won).
There are many forms of law, but the bottom line for most is that Dina d’Malchusah Dina, and a lawyer is subject to those same laws. As much of civil/tort law actually IS based in Torah ideology, I don’t see the problem that some do. And if there really is an issue (say with something that goes mamesh against halacha, i.e. gay marriage), then the lawyer needs to follow his conscience, if he cannot present an effective way of doing his job, and recuse himself (or whatever lawyers do when they cannot argue a certain point). JMO, and I am certain there are many who would disagree with me.
I’m just glad you didn’t call the OP the goq-ness monster. “
OY!!!!!!!
Hi Always Here!
OR – there may really be something that the rabbi said or did that made her uncomfortable, something that the young man might not be perceptive about or receptive to hearing. Maybe something happened that made her feel the rabbi was getting too personal in some way. WE DON’T KNOW, and neither does the OP, because he has not yet found out what it was.
Please talk to your lady friend and get her to be honest with you. Don’t take a vague answer on its face. If you cannot communicate NOW when it is important to do so, you may never be able to communicate. This might all be an innocent misunderstanding.
Yellow – 0 pushups in a ROW – I am all over the place!
I would let all posts get through unless they are deliberately insulting to another poster, or filled with hateful remarks towards another group of Jews.
FTR, if you put a potato kugel in the oven for AN HOUR at 500 degrees, will it not already be baked (and burned)? When I bake a potato kugel for that amount of time at 400-425 degrees, it only takes a little more than that amount of time to be done.
uh… Hungarians…? (Ok, sorry, but you just reminded of an old girl scout cookies joke).
I can’t imagine, if you are following the recipe, that it isn’t working, unless your oven is not true to temperature. Maybe you need to bake it for a few minutes at very high, and then turn the oven down to the lower temp for overnight.
That is why I shut the fridge light on THURSDAY every week. This DID happen to us, and I had no Shabbos Goy around, and luckily the Friday night food was on the blech,and for Shabbos lunch we just had cholent, which was also on the blech. I never made that mistake again.
YELLOW (and I just got home from work, so sorry about that…)
In which year did the United States enter World War I?
1917
What is the specific study of plants called?
Botany
What is the name and title of the queen of englands husband?
Prince Consort (Phillip Mountbatten?)
What is Constantinople now known as? Istanbul, I think
Name four Italian cities – Rome, Florence, Venice, and does The Vatican City count? If not, Tuscany?
How many planets are there in our Solar System? Really 9, but some scientists are calling Pluto a dwarf planet, so they won’t count it, so that would make 8. But I think Pluto is coming back (YES!!!!).
What was the name of the project, headed by J. Robert Oppenheimer, to create the first atomic bomb?
The Manhattan Project
Early scientists longed to be able to transmute base metals such as lead into gold. What was the name of their profession?
Alchemy
In 1990 a space telescope named after an American astronomer was launched. What is its name? Hubbell
and what was the full name of the astronomer .
Carl Hubbell ?
ok that’s that remember , any one who wants to join can join by answering the question and preceeding the answers with either the team name or color
because some, like AURAL , did not follow the rules .’
HUH??????? WHAT rule?
A Y E E L U L B D B H S F T E O R L I E A D R S K
Beer, yell, tell, rely, defy, deify, sky, skyblue, blue, lie, liar, flier, filer, file, tile, style, dri, drily, ore, oral aural, aura, aye, day, role, roll, rail, real, leer, fear, free, bullet, road,read, dear, deer, ask, task, bask, basket baste, haste,skate
Don’t have time for more right now.
I guess we have discovered the location of the Lox-less Monster.
We are required to notice our OWN shortcomings 🙂