Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
The YWN was absolutely correct, IMO. Unfortunately, the right people NEVER see these pictures.
As for Dovid Hamelech, the story I learned was that he knew he was to die at a specific time (on a Shabbos, I believe), so he spent all his time then, learning Torah, because the Malach Hamaves could not get to him then. In frustration the MHM made a loud noise outside the palace, Dovid Hamelech was startled and momentarily distracted from his learning, and in that moment the MHM took his life.
Writersoul – really???? People can be so foolish.
I don’t live there, but I have Mishpacha there, and it is a beautiful, warm community. Durting the Hurricane, it was one of the few communities that was NOT affected adversely by the storm surge. Nice people, wonderful rabbis, good community.
We think they’re a bunch of lunatics who have nothing to do with our community. Basically, the exact same way regular Christian Americans view Westboro Baptist.”
I have to agree. They are not frum Jews. The Chillul Hashem alone, that they commit by embracing our sonim publicly, puts them in a whole different category.
I’m with Zahavasdad. The Pet Rock is a really stupid concept. Worse than p’tcha.
I cannot even type a comment to do justice to the horror and sadness that I feel. The pain of the families of those Kedoshim, is unfathomable. It takes a special kind of lack of any spark of humanity to come into a shul where someone is davening commit such atrocities. I wait for the world to somehow find a way to blame the butchered members of that minyan for their own massacre.
And in an nutshell, this is why I HATE this form of finding out information on prospective dates. Why don’t you just hire a detective and be done with it? While you’re at it, contact the BBB, “just in case” the person in question has had a run-in in shady business dealings. Also, the FBI might be able to help in the investigation.
I really liked the way we met people in my day. Much less drama and much more pleasant dating, with less angst. And no one would DARE to ask what size dress a girl wore.
Saying something tactless IS stupid.
Mazel tov!!!
I once read a birth announcement from someone who said, “We joyfully announce the birth of our son, Dr. So and So.” Any relation?
Yehi Ratzon Shetizku l’gadlo l’T”Ch”UMT.” Nice to start the week with good news.
People are thoughtless sometimes, and especially in public. Better not to react to them, and give everyone brachos.
I am not yet reading through the replies. My stance was, is, and always WILL be, we should always have hakoras hatov for the smallest chessed done for us, kal v’chomer the big ones. The soldiers unhesitatingly put their lives on the line every day to protect our people, frei, not frei, chareidi, Dati Leumi, chassidish, Litvish,etc who live in E”Y. THE LEAST we can do is daven for their safety in making those sacrifices for Klal Yisroel. If one cannot be makir tov to another person for that, how can he ever be makir tov to Hashem who does everything for us?
When I sat shiva for my father O”H 21 years ago, someone came in and started to say what I thought was going to be something very sweet to me, comparing me to her daughter (who is a very accomplished, intelligent woman, with many, many mailos). What she in fact said when she finished the sentence was, “Yes, you really remind me of my daughter. After she got married, she also became heavy!”
And when we sat shiva for my mother O”H five months later (yes, I lost both of them within five months unexpectedly), ANOTHER woman, an old friend of my parents, came in and started telling us about when she and my mom were both pregnant together. She gave birth first and had “a beautiful baby boy – THE most gorgeous baby boy ever brought into the universe. And so SMART!: Why, he could practically do calculus by the time of his bris! (I take poetic license here). Now comes the zinger. THEN, my MOM gave birth to my sister and (quote), “But as gorgeous as MY baby boy was…
THAT’S HOW UGLY YOU WERE WHEN YOU WERE BORN! I didn’t know how to even wish a sincere mazel tov to your poor parents, nebbich, I was so upset for them!” Yes, this woman said those words, and she was NOT joking at the time, in case you think she was.
We were floored, because my sister was an absolutely gorgeous baby, so gorgeous, in fact, that the nurses all fought to take care of her, and told my mom they were so jealous of her, getting to take this beautiful baby home (and she WAS beautiful – I can attest to that, and she still is, kinehora ad meah v’esrim shana). But my poor sis was SO flummoxed by the woman’s comment that she unthinkingly stammered, “But I was always told I was a pretty baby – are you sure you don’t mean my sister???” (We are working through that remark to this day, LOL, but the truth is I was a preemie, born at the beginning of the 8th month, and really NOT so pretty a baby until I was a month old, and then I was GAW-JUSS!)
The woman quickly replied, “NOOOOOOO!!! It was YOU. B”H you finally grew into your looks later on! So I didn’t have to feel sorry for your parents anymore.”
People often say really stupid things when they cannot think of anything to say. And sometimes, the old adage is true. “Better to be silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt…”
BTW, my sibs and I (we are two girls and two boys) ALL had a really good laugh over these incidents, and when the second woman left we said, “Nichamtanu, Mrs. So and So. Nichamtanu.”
To be fair and accurate, it was SARAH Emainu who said to kick him out. Avraham didn’t want to. Hashem then commanded him to do all that Sarah said.
Sounds like some teenager wrote this and yanked more than a few CR chains. I have no doubt that there are many families experiencing such a crisis,and for that reason it disturbs me all the more that someone would post this. Pork rinds???? Seriously???? And then you say you “heard” rustling down the hall from under his covers? Are you Superman?
He had some good points to make on occasion,but enjoyed yanking everyone’s chain, especially by changing his name. personally, I always found it fun to guess Who is Joseph NOW? His sometimes abrupt and abrasive argumentativeness bothered some (or even most) people, but I was amused. I personally just don’t care for people who deliberately seek to be insulting and rude, but I thought he was doing it to get a rise out of us.
Icarus was simply overcome with the joy of flying, and ignored his father’s warnings. He flew too high, the wax melted, and he fell. “
Yes, thanks – I remember that now. But wasn’t Icarus trying to fly higher and higher (as he was excited by the feelign of freedom when soaring) to be near the “gods?” It’s a long time since I read mythology, but my memory bank seemed to reflect that idea somehow. I must be mixing up two different ideas.
There was a greek mythic girl Arachnae (turned into a spider), who also was competing with the gods, and her punishment was to forever do what she was good at, spinning (webs).
oomis:
“Chocolate comes from cacao beans which grown in the ground.”
Actually, they grow on a tree!”
Ground, tree! It’s all good. And it’s STILL a vegetable!!!!
Chocolate comes from cacao beans which grown in the ground. So I am counting my mousse tonight as a vegetable serving.
Nadav and Avihu? “
I don’t think it’s a good comparison, because N and A were kohanim, and tzaddikim. They brought an Aish Zara that Hashem did not command. They might have been oveir on Lo Tosif. They were certainly not trying to compete with Hashem (as Nimrod was trying to do, and as I believe was the case with Icarus). By the way, how is it that all of us are so familair with Greek Mythology, hmmmmm…?
Jews are meant to be workers according to the Torah, or there would not be so many of the halachos relating to business practices and farming. However we also see the fact that Zevulun, the businessman, according to his father Yaakov Avinu, is meant to support Yissachar in his learning. So that is IMO the primary source for this. (It does not however, say Yissachar CANNOT take a job. You wanted a source, though).
“I would save him. But that doesn’t explain why it has to be done.”
Because to watch someone drown when one is fully CAPABLE of saving him (and only if one is really IS capable, as we have no chiyuv to drown ourselves in order to save a drowning victim), would make one into a worthless, unfeeling, waste of a human being. It makes us better people when we do good things for others, as well as for ourselves.
“When you arrange things for someone you love, while assuming they will never become aware of what you’ve done, what is your motivation?”
The knowledge that I have done something really nice for someone and made that person’s day, is my motivation. Otherwise I am merely a self-absorbed slob.
“Would you love someone if you got absolutely nothing out of the relationship.”
I take issue with the phrase “get nothing out of the relationship.” Just by loving someone, you are getting a great deal out of the relationship. Aside from the physiological benefits to loving, the endorphins that are released, etc. it gelps us to grow emotionally and learn to be empathetic. Have I loved someone without having that love returned? Oh boy, yes! I have had feelings for one or two guys before I met my husband, who did not return my feelings. In fact, one of them never knew how I felt, as I never let on. But even when I “got nothing” out of the relationship – I got a great deal out of the relationship. I matured, I learned how to deal with rejection and unrequited feelings. I learned how to move on, after sadly coming to the realization that the relationship would go nowhere.
In life, there are lessons to be learned from EVERYTHING, even the most mundane of things (that’s possibly a reason among many reasons, why we make brachas on the mundane, along with the more obviously important aspects of life). So if all we learn is that there might be times that we emotionally invest oruselves in someone and do not get anything back in return, that LESSON is what we have gotten out of the relationship. it helps us to be less self-centered and to grow up, and to recognize that sometimes we need to move on.
James and RebYidd, I sincerely thank you both for your comments. It’s given me me much to reflect upon, and I hope never to have to make this decision again. However, if G-d forbid I ever have mice in my house again, I am calling either of YOU to dispose of the little critters, because I could NEVER EVER EVER EVER smash a mouse over the head with a “blunt object” or any creature larger than a cockroach (and even that makes me sick to think about it), in OR out of a bag. There is tzaar to THIS baalas chai, just envisioning it.
I know there is something we say when confronted by dogs, so they ostensibly will not harm us (never had to try it, B”H), but is there a “pest repellant” possuk anywhere?
I think that the Tower of Babel is a very good potential source for the Icarus myth. Both were about people who wanted to usurp Heaven and be like gods. They both headed toward the sky, and all met their downfall.
Everyone is right, who commented on the glue traps and bags. Nevertheless, what would you suggest should be done with animals caught on glue traps? ANY trap is not humane. I could never have drowned them (as someone suggested to me once). I could not leave them in plain sight on the glue traps – it was freaking us all out (B”H this was at least a year ago). Vermin carry diseases. Would you be able to kill them quickly yourself? I couldn’t bear to, but they were infesting my home. How is a glue trap different from a roach motel, btw?
Also, poison baits make the mice very thirsty, and when they go to drink water, it makes their bellies swell up and burst. THAT’S a better idea????? I am a big proponent of avoiding tzaar baalei chayim, but health and sanity comes first.
Nice, people!
Anyone have the challah recipe used for the challah baking part of the project?
Why not?
writersoul +1
What if you did not like the traditional Shabbos foods or Zemiroth. What if your shabbos entailed the kids fighting the whole time for the right to sit next to Mommy and throwing food around and screamed the whole time.”
Good question. And this type of shtuss app would help – HOW? Could the parent just take him/herself away and ignore the kids while using this app? They might as well read a book or go for a walk, both of which at least are unquestionably muttar on Shabbos.
Trying to excite someone about Shabbos is a whole different idea from giving that person something that will further take away the spirit and spirituality of Shabbos. I think that there has to be a much better solution than this one, which is not a solution for anyone, much less disenfranchised Yidden.
I had this problem THREE times when the school next door to me dug foundations for construction on three separate occasions.It is DISGUSTING, but we put out poison baits on the food pantry floor and sticky traps along the walls where the mice were seen and they were caught, especially behind the couch. I also (don’t laugh) put the sticky traps in front of the door threshholds to every bedroom, as I was scared of mice coming into the room while were sleeping.
The ick factor was high, and I had terrible guilt feelings when I saw the mice that were caught and made my husband and son put them in plastic bags and get rid of them. Most of the time, we never saw the mice, only that they were no longer around (due to being poisoned and then running off to die) But the ones on the traps haunted me for months. I can’t stand to kill or trap another creature, but they bring disease and filth. They look NOTHING like Mickey or Minnie. So Hashem forgive me, but I did what I had to do.
I think you should first be VERY VERY sure that your concept of tznius is halachically accurate. There is a difference betwen her wearing a skirt that covers her knees even when sitting, but is on the short side versus wearing a skirt above her knees. There is a difference between her wearing bright colors, rather than black, brown, and beige, versus someone who wears a tight red dressd. Is her way of dressing the issue or her behavior? Those are very different things to consider.
As you have not really expressed what your tznius objection is about, it’s hard to understand the problem. But no matter WHAT it is (and again, be very sure that it really IS a tznius problem, and not just your own perception that is a problem), then in my opinion you should speak to the shadchan who set you up, if any, or to her rebbetzin (or another female with whom she is close and with whom you would feel comfortable), and ask her to speak to her about what’s bothering you. You may find that this other person thinks your issue is not based on any halachic foundation, and will help you to see that, or you may find that she is able to get your point across to the young lady without embarrassing you.
It’s uvda d’chol, even if somehow in some crazy way not assur (and I do not believe that to be true, l’chatchilah). Even if it could halachically be made muttar, do we REALLY need yet another way for people to disconnect from the people around them on Shabbos, be ruder than rude as they ignore people while they type away all day focusing mindlessly on their new (apparently non-electronic, but I don’t believe that, either) toy, that takes away the spirit of Shabbos?
I can see the value of this for a doctor, having less actual chillul Shabbos to do when there is an emergency (kind of like the frei Jew who carries on the Shabbos that he is mechallel, but at least there’s an eruv, so it’s one less averia he is committing). But for the rest of us – do we REALLY need this? On SHABBOS?
We sound really cold hearted when we say this, Oomis, but the eluding us is to explain why one would want to become a better person? What motivation does one have to be good/do good? “
Yekke, I don’t know about you, but I feel good inside when I do something that is good, especially when it makes another person happy, even when that person knows nothing about what I have done.
Serving Hashem sensitizes (most of )us to the needs of others as well as ourselves. We also learn to be makir tov in general, because how can we be makir tov to people for the good they do for us without first being makir tov to Hashem who is the SOURCE of all that we have?
I don’t find this topic to be a conundrum at all.
Is that like a Ghost to Ghost Broadcast? (Thank you Abbott and Costello). It is assur to do this in the sense that there are “mediums” who claim to. And the Torah doesn’t say they are unable to speak with the dead, just that it is assur for us to go to them. Just like with ham, l’havdil, efshi v’efshi, aval lo muttar.
Personally, I cannot say with certitude that these people who claim to channel the dead cannot fo what they claim. I believe most of them are phony. But I have had experiences myself since my parents were niftar, that defy conventional wisdom and logic I would never go to a medium to try to get a message from the, even if I thought that person had the capability of doing so
Whew! I see a LOT of responses to this. I have not had time to read through yet, and am sure to be repeating what others have expressed, but the main reason to serve Hashem (other than that it is His Ratzon) is that it makes us into better human beings when we live according to the Torah. No one became bad from lack of idol worship, not killing, not being untzniusdig, not sdtealing, no swearing falsely, not giving tzedaka,doing acts of chessed,davening, etc. etc. It is ONLY to our benefit. SO whether or not we serve al menat l’kabel pras, by the very virrue of our growth as spiritual, ehrliche, menschen we have already received a pras gadol. The reward of a mitzvha is another mitzvah. And the reward for serving Hashem is that we hopefully continue to serve Hashem for a long time.
I am really touched. Thank you for the lovely responses.
SL – you’re right.
Thank you, Ivory! Amein, amein.
Yaakov Avraham ben Michleh and Dov Nechemiah HaKohein ben Rochel Chaya Sorah are alive”
B”H yes both are alive tzu longer yohren, but both are seriously in need of tefilos and refuos. I believe with all my heart, especially in the case of Dovi, that everyone’s tefilos are what have kept him alive for the past year and a half with a very rare Stage 4 cancer, that is simply not responding to treatment, and for which there are no known successful protocols.
Mazel tov. It’s also mine tonight and tomorrow. And as of tonight, I wish everyone posting here, good health, arichas yamim, and simchas hachayim, in a Torah-filled life with loving spouses, children, family and friends. *I wish it for everyone ALL the time, but I hear that one’s Jewish birthday is especially proper for asking for brachos for others.
Thank you for asking about my husband, Bookworm. He is experiencing some very unpleasant side effects from his treatment, but you would never know from his demeanor or cheerful attitude that anything is wrong with him, if you did not know how sick he is. His stock answer (and he means it) to inquiries about his health, is “Boruch Hashem yom yom.” he has been through three separate major surgeries (none related to each other) in the last couple of months, and (B”H) the first two conditions were only discovered as a sidebar, while he was undergoing testing for the third condition.
I wish I could say he is completely well, and BE”H, will someday say that, but for now, it is another challenge for him to overcome, and for us to be supportive and daven for him. I appreciate your concern, very much.
That person has been in prison for 25 years-life.
You mentioned asian and I wonder if toasted sesame oil would be good in cholent.
I am a definite sociopath, I guess. The guy was her sister’s boyfriend whom she had not yet met, as ther sister lived out of town and had not told them anything about the boyfriend. He came to her mom’s funeral out fo respect for the sister, to be at her side. Then he came to her own funeral again out of respect for her memory, which is exactly what the murderous sister had hoped for.
And though this has nothing to do with this story, I always yawn when someone else yawns around me, which is the sign of NOT being a sociopath, so I guess I am safe.
B’shaa tova.
I sympathize with the Chareidim because I would feel similarly to sitting with a Muslim. But if they want to ensure that they will sit only next to another man and/or have a pleasant flight, they need to a) buy the whole row of seats (my personal preference in this case) b)book their actual seats WITH the other man/men if that is still possible to do that anymore or c) do nothing and understand it is beyond their control. I understand they asked politely to switch seats, so I am not sure what the brouhaha that ensued was about.
I have not been on a plane in a VERY long time (and I mean decades), but I have sat next to annoying ill-behaved children, people who snored, and women who talked non-stop as I tried to read or sleep. Sometimes we just have to suck it up and recognize we cannot always get what we want. Or, we have to make arrangements in advance that work for us in a more appropriate way.
I wonder if the media would have made the same issue had it been Muslims making the same request and delaying a plane.
Goq AND Popa, as I think I mentioned, that was precisely what happened to me as a 21 year old single female, when I was invited to my not-so-close relative’s daughter’s wedding, SPECIFICALLY (so the baal simcha said)so that I could meet the chosson’s single friends for shidduch purposes. I was however, seated at the kid’s table, the oldest child being Bar-mitzvah age. So I DO know what it feels like, but you are mamesh comparing apples and oranges, and it frankly surprises me that you don’t see a difference between the two scenarios.
There is no question that a single adult being seated with little kids at a simcha OR the Shabbos tisch, (and especially under such circumstances as mine were), was wholly inappropriate. That is absolutely not the same as giving a kibud to someone that if often given to teenage boys. The kibud itself is NOT insulting, and should not be viewed that way in my humble and honest opinion, and though I feel for the OP who is single, who clearly takes issue with this. I also think too much has been made of this and people are overthinking it. Adults should not be treated like children. But a kovod related to the Torah should not be treated lightly, no matter WHAT the reason is.
And for all the Gabbaim out there who have possibly unkowingly and unintentionally embarrassed or insulted single men by only giving g’lilah to kids, take note of this discussion and STOP doing that. The kovod should be given to any male over the age of 13, and not only to a specific demographic.
OP, I apologize, if I made you feel I am not understanding your point and was unduly critical of your post. I do stand by my belief that there is no such thing as a “bad” kibud relating to Torah, but I get it.
Coz, I am shepping nachas from your family’s remarks. So cute!
What they are learning is not kabbalah, so I am not too worried. The most brilliant Talmidei Chachomim didn’t attempt to learn Kabbalah until at least age 40 (is that supposed to be reminiscent of Rabbi Akiva,the one of four who entered the “Pardes” and came out whole, who first began learning Torah at age 40?),and very few were able to fully grasp it. So I am not concerned about a few Kabbalah wannabes, Jewish or not, who THINK they are mystical. Whenever someone has asked me if I know Kabbalah, I tell them I am still working on understanding Chumash and Rashi, and recommend that to them as a more attainable pursuit.
Gotta admit it’s not an easy parsha for ANYONE, male or female (and btw, older single women are frequently referred to as “too picky,” or farbissen, or a whole host of other mean-spirited things, so it’s really pretty even for both genders). The bottom line – ALL people should be treated appropriately, not patronized or made to feel they are lesser beings for reasons beyond their control. But they should likewise not look for hidden motives in others or feel insulted when insult is not intended.