OneOfMany

lol nice one

-_- That’s OneOfMany, not TwoOfMany.

And er…never mind.

(Didn’t know they published the Guide in Yiddish…)

it is still your choice whether or not to accept that assumption which you cannot validate.

Hmm, that’s true.

I dunno. Essentially I agree with you – a person who doesn’t think about why they are doing what they are doing isn’t using bechirah. I just don’t see bechirah as something that you have or don’t have – in terms of the robot, I see it as just in an inert state.

If you are going with the premise that everyone has a preordained match, then not only don’t I see where the kefira in that statement comes in, but I think you are logically forced to concede it… otherwise, how do you account for the missing halves of all the people that die before they manage to marry? (Don’t say they cancel each other out – that doesn’t really make sense.)

Oh, I’m never sorry for that… ^_^

Haleivi- actully according to “our perception of space” we couldn’t live in part of it.

“It is known that there is an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.”

^_^

I’ve been trying to stay out of this argument, as I have absolutely nothing productive to say…but Zeeskite, I have to ask you: why do you assume that all those speaking out are “gloating” in their “jealousy” of the communities in which specific scandals occurred? Why can’t they just be concerned and upset about the injustice and deceit, and how it is possibly reinforcing the cycle of abuse throughout the entire Jewish community?

If there was such a thing as being dan l’kaf chov, I’d say you are guilty of it.

Shkoyach for your post.

???

I dunno, but hi. 🙂

“A loaf of bread,” the Walrus said,

“Is what we chiefly need:

Pepper and vinegar besides

Are very good indeed–

Now if you’re ready, Oysters dear,

We can begin to feed.”

“But not on us!” the Oysters cried,

Turning a little blue.

“After such kindness, that would be

A dismal thing to do!”

“The night is fine,” the Walrus said.

“Do you admire the view?

“It was so kind of you to come!

And you are very nice!”

The Carpenter said nothing but

“Cut us another slice:

I wish you were not quite so deaf–

I’ve had to ask you twice!”

“It seems a shame,” the Walrus said,

“To play them such a trick,

After we’ve brought them out so far,

And made them trot so quick!”

The Carpenter said nothing but

“The butter’s spread too thick!”

“I weep for you,” the Walrus said:

“I deeply sympathize.”

With sobs and tears he sorted out

Those of the largest size,

Holding his pocket-handkerchief

Before his streaming eyes.

“O Oysters,” said the Carpenter,

“You’ve had a pleasant run!

Shall we be trotting home again?’

But answer came there none–

And this was scarcely odd, because

They’d eaten every one.

The moon was shining sulkily,

Because she thought the sun

Had got no business to be there

After the day was done –

‘It’s very rude of him,’ she said,

‘To come and spoil the fun!’

WRONNNNNNNNNNG

The answer is 42.

If a boy is being redt 10 girls at the same time (I have 100s of resumes) and they all sound basically the same from similar homes hashkafos….so I should go on a date with every one of them?

Baruch Hashem our population has boomed and there are many 100’s if not thousands of eligible girls that can be redt to the same pool of guys. A picture is one method of quickly cutting the numbers down.

I can have ten pictures of attractive girls and still only like the looks of one of them

I think it was the last one was particularly telling.

heh

frumnotyeshivish: I am not saying that it is in a guy’s best interest to decide without the picture. I was just articulating the ideal rational extreme (which is probably not something human beings should strive for anyhow). My point was that the intangibility of the ideal notwithstanding, it ought to be borne in mind so as to keep your reality as close to it as you can.

I get your arguments. But I am not trying to say that the practice is stam wrong. I just think that the way WIY is using it is.

I dunno, but I like your screenname. ^_^

WIY, I do not disapprove of using pictures, but I think that you are abusing the practice – really at your expense more than anyone else’s.

In general, it is best to formulate a judgement of a person without intervening physical factors. When you find a person extraordinarily attractive, your judgement of them will be heavily skewed in their favor – not just in general, but you will actually think they are smarter, calmer, etc. I just read a study about this conducted in the military – personnel that got high ratings for their physical qualities consistently rated higher in every other category. And you can easily see how this applies in terms of relationships by looking at the pattern of celebrity relationships. They very often enter into dedicated relationships and marriages – not just casual flings – only to have them dissolve once they become acquainted with the person on a level beyond the good looks and the glamor.

So ideally, the most accurate assessment of a person’s non-physical qualities can only be obtained by doing research before you meet them (yay shidduch system), without any knowledge of their physical qualities. Notwithstanding, I do understand (not actually understand, but understand that there are things I don’t understand) that as a guy you want to make sure that there is potential for physical attraction in someone that is a potential spouse. So you find a girl that seems compatible on paper, and check the picture to make sure that potential is there. That way, you can get your assessment down and make sure you aren’t entering something that is otherwise doomed to failure.

So by doing what you say you are doing – piling up droves of pictures and finding the most attractive pick from a bunch of really attractive girls, don’t pretend that you’re going to come to any sort of rational decision. And don’t say that all other factors are equal. They aren’t, even if you think they are. And I’m not trying to romanticize the uniqueness of every individual – it is easily demonstrable that no two people are identical in temperament, regardless of how alike they seem. And by doing what you are doing, not only will you not come to any rational decision about whom to date, but you are ensuring that the non-physical qualities of the person you will likely choose will be decided almost completely by chance. Which might work out if you are very lucky…but do you really want to count on that?

So really, just keep in mind that the person you are hurting most by doing this is yourself.

Ahaaaa…

I did google it – I got “Programmable Interval Timer,” “Process Improvement Team,” “Passive Immune Thrombocytopenia”…

Curiosity: You can’t really compare the concepts and obligations of tznius for men and women – you’re trying to put both groups on one ladder, when really there are two. Also, making logical comparisons like that won’t really work, since tznius for the most part a matter of cultural sensitivity. It doesn’t necessarily “make sense.” And I find that when people try to make sense out of it (like they are here on this thread with the regal attire and whatnot), they usually trip themselves up.

It didn’t pay well, so I got a job flipping burgers instead.

Silence will fall when the question is asked. The first question. The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight.

(the answer sooooo is 42. 8D)

Some boots wielded me today.