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Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, including me.
It is absolutely permissible for women to serve in the Israeli army. If a woman feels she contributes to the Jewish People best this way, she should be fully supported in this decision, and kol hakavod to her.
It is not only permissible, it is obligatory for Israeli men to serve in the Israeli army.
Halachically, 100% permitted.
Socially, if you like it and can get away with it, do it. If you can’t, don’t.
The prohibition is that of a man dressing up in order to look like a woman , or vice versa. The reasons are that they would use this tactic to purposely mingle for unkosher purposes (Bach et al.). Some say (Rambam sefer hamitzvos) that there are prohibited magical connotations to this cross-dressing. There are also other issues here, see Nazir 59a and Tur/SA YD 182.
Therefore, it is permissible to wear men’s clothing when it is clear that the purpose is benign. This includes (but is not limited to) such things as staying warm or cool, unisex articles of clothing, simple articles of clothing that are not jewelry, or when the purpose does not indicate a desire to appear like the other gender. It would be permitted to wear a man’s shirt for painting the house, or if one is “running late” and just grabbed something to wear. These are clearly benign actions.
When the purpose is davka to look like the other gender, but the intent is for fun or entertainment, the opinions are divided (see Sefer Yereim, Bach, Rama). This includes cross-dressing for “shtick” at weddings and on Purim, which was common as long ago as seven-eight hundred years.
Wearing a man’s shirt for tznius would certainly be permitted, although I think that one should be able to find tznius clothes designed for women. After all, proper women’s attire designed and manufactured for women is not a new phenomenon.
I find it implausable that button position and the like can be included in this prohibition, and one can safely ignore “the button thing”.
It is muttar.
“..a woman commented to my friend that she is shocked at something i was wearing,…”
“..The wedding was quite crowded, but I noticed everyone looking at her, pitying her. It really was awful…”
I notice that an important aspect of these weddings is for (all) the female guests to inspect all other guests in order to ascertain whether each one is obeying the rules of the game. Violators will be notified and punished by social banishment from the club. There is no second chance. If the behavior is corrected, one will say, “Look at her now, but I once saw her….”
This behavior, not new of course but increasingly prevalent, is a recipe for creating a dysfunctional cult-like society. It should be strongly discouraged despite the dubious psychological lift one gets from feeling superior to others.
I am very amused by the predictable tendency for some to divide people amongst three categories:
Category 1: Those who are just like me and follow my way of life
Category 2: Those who don’t do exactly as I do and are therefore on a lower spiritual level (“…you are not on the level of others”)
Category 3: Those who do more than I do and can safely be labeled as crackpots (“..NOT be equated to these CRACKPOTS)
Beyond the amusement, it is important that these judgmental types be called out on two accounts: Their haughtiness and their intellectual dishonesty.
I’m the first to say that these women are in desperate need of psychological treatment. However, when criticizing their tznius habits, it seems that the shoe is now on the other foot. To many fine Jewish people, separate seating or separate rooms for shabbos meals, separate sides of the sidewalk, shaving heads, thick black stockings and more of the same, all of these are just variations on the Taliban tznius theme.
The Taliban also have their rabbonim, and they don’t have to listen to anyone else’s. Many chassidishe/litvishe think of themselves as tzaddikim, but the Taliban group thinks those people will burn in hell. Maybe one day we’ll find out who was right, but in the meantime, we don’t really know, do we.
In the end, it’s all about where to draw the line. Don’t draw it for others because others will draw it for you.
A simchat bat is a nice idea and can come in various forms. It can be a kiddush. It can be an oneg shabbos, it can be a seudah shlishis, or just cake and cookies on a shabbos afternoon in the summer. All of these are acceptable, and everyone can do what they feel like in this regard. It doesn’t even have to be on a shabbos, it can be any day of the week. It’s a positive thing to acknowledge HKBH when a baby girl is born, and there are no halachos that dictate how it should be celebrated.
In Lithuania it was common for women to say kaddish, sometimes standing in the back (yes, at the back of the men’s section) to say kaddish for a loved one.
The common custom is to ask a man who does or can say kaddish to say it, and the woman says kaddish along with the man or men. The woman need not say all the kadeishim, certainly not the kaddish d”rabbonons.
It should not bother the men at all. If the men are not used to it, they will adjust to it in due time, it is not a big deal.
It’s ok to wear colored shirts on Shabbos. And Yom Tov.
A shaitel macher who makes $3,500 a month under the table is not better off than someone with a degree, she is worse off. She is spending her life stealing from the government, hardly something to be proud of. The fact that a given “therapy” person has not yet found full time work is hardly a statistical survey. Anecdotal evidence is worthless.
Go by the numbers and common sense. Degree bearers make more money in the long run, and it’s legal.
I’d like to reiterate my point, ladies.
Those who say “I know Retzon Hashem, after all, I’m in sync with Him and you are not”,may be comfortably ignored. Just ignore them. They claim to know, but they don’t. Don’t let them get to you, even if their mommy told them so.
A university degree is of tremendous value. The value may not be appreciated for years, even decades, but it is there. Don’t belittle it. Once you have it no one can take it away. Go and get it; one day you will probably say, “Thank God I got that degree, I would never have been here without it”.
After all these angry posts against women who are enjoying themselves and trying to stay healthy, it needs to be said again:
Women, do not listen to the people who claim to state halachah while admitting they are incapable of reading a sefer halachah. Do not listen to those who define tznius or yiddishkeit for that matter, by what THEY do, or what THEY have heard. Decide for yourself. If you need guidance, get it from someone you trust.
And “zumba women”, do not worry. It is not because of you that bad things happen, and don’t ever let anyone make you think that.
I hope all the seminaries stay open and that all parents have enough money to send each daughter to seminary in Israel. To deny them this opportunity is to deny them a major part of our heritage.
That said, if you can’t afford it, don’t go. It is wrong to spend money that doesn’t exist, and more wrong to exploit other people’s money for your own purposes.
Photographs or portraits are ok. There is no problem.
Many here have suggested that Klal Yisrael’s problems stem from the way women dress on 18th Avenue or similar places. My suggestion is that the problems of Klal Yisrael stem from the very fact that men and women are walking on 18th Avenue instead of Rechov Yaffo or Katzenellenbogen or Tzefaniah, or any other place in Israel.
In any case, if a woman enjoys zumba, whatever dance that is, she should do it to her heart’s content. She need not worry about the naysayers, nor should she worry that she is causing harm to Klal Yisrael. She is not causing any harm.
Hashgachah. Unless they have a phenomenal memory, in which case their hashkachah is really no good at all.
“Understand that your teacher has ulterior motives into creating separation between you and your parents.”
I agree with this statement and will elaborate according to my own point of view.
The shul Rav is a spiritual guide whose duty and desire is to take care of his constituent families with halachic and other spiritual advice. He is in it for them, not for himself or a given institution, and his decisions take many factors into account.
The “teacher” is charged with a very specific agenda, to inculcate the students with a very well-defined hashkafah which views itself as the only “right way”, and rejects other hashkafahs as not legitimate.
The teacher is therefore suspect of ulterior motives, namely, forcing the the student into the mold of the school’s hashkafah at the expense of the parents’ hashkafah.
My opinion:
1. As soon as Purim starts on the evening of March 7, you are obligated in mitzvos hayom. Do everything you can to fulfill these mitzvos (megillah at night, the following day, seudah, mishloach manos, matanos l’evyonim). Being in the airport or on the plane may make it difficult, do your best. It has been done before by many people.
2. If you arrive in Yerushalayim before the start of Purim there, (15 Adar, the evening of March 8) you are obligated once again to fulfill these mitzvos, even if you have already done them on 14 Adar.
3. You may not delay your Purim ( not observe 14 Adar) on the assumption that you will get to Yerushalayim before the evening of March 8.
4. In Efrat, Purim is 14 Adar.
I am not an expert in this, but I know that Sam2 is correct.
However, every one hundred years the date moves forward by one day. Every four hundred years, the date does NOT move by one day. So the date will move three times every four hundred years.
When I was young, the siddurim said Dec. 3/Dec. 4, and since then it has moved up a day to Dec.5/6.
The obvious problematical issue of a gradual change in the date (in the time of Shmuel, the date was in mid-late November)is a topic for another discussion.
Living in Eretz Yisrael, I rarely think about it.
I fail to see why taking out the garbage should be considered a demeaning activity. I think it’s much more honorable to take it out rather than leave it in the house.
“Lo sasur min hadavar asher yagidu lecha.
mishna: aseh lecha Rav. “
Actually, these references strengthen the other point of view.
The pasuk refers only to bes din. The mishnah refers to an individual, and is widely open to interpretation.
The term Daas Torah as it is used today is quite amorphous and can have so many different meanings that it effectively means nothing at all.
Back to the issue. I seem to be the only one recommending using the father’s name.
1. It doesn’t really matter.
2. We use the mother’s name for a sick person. Since we are not talking here about a tefilah for a refuah shleimah, we have two precedents for using the father’s name for tefilos. A, the brachah given at a bris. B, the Ribono Shel Olam tefilah on Shalosh Regalim when taking out the Torah.
3. I stand by my opinion.
4. See #1
If someone who is facing a crisis in raising an adolescent turns to the coffee room for advice, then his troubles run much deeper than just choosing a school for his child.
This is not the place for important decisions. Go to someone trained to give sound advice in these situations.
Unless this is a troll thread.
A good minhag to follow is that the most expensive food we buy should be shmurah matzoh. This is less expensive, so it’s ok.
Father,as they are called up to the Torah.
It’s a minhag, no source needed, feel free to change it. God can figure it out either way.
“Years ago, when my husband was there, guys wore color shirts at Mirrer. They’d probably be kicked out now. “
Or, they wouldn’t be allowed in from the beginning. B’dieved, if they got in, and C”V someone took a photograph, they could always be photoshopped out. It’s been done.
Let’s call the boy by its name here. A non-white shirt in many yeshivas is tantamount to insubordination and heresy.
Wow, that is some indictment of a yeshiva. I would hope someone from that yeshiva can come to its defense.
Every one is entitled to behave according to their own comfort level and should be respected.
In my opinion, having teenage boys and girls from different families at the same table is a wonderful thing and should be encouraged.
Rav Shlomo Zalman zt”l was extremely makpid on those who interfered with others’ spiritual needs in order to promote their own. The above stories are a good example.
Bottom line is of course the halachah applies, but not every davener is entitled to benefit from it. Don’t interfere with others, and you have the right to insist that others don’t interfere with you.
There are no problems with it.
It is a very acceptable hashkafah.
“….But Yishmoel would cause he’s Avrohom Avinu’s son ….that was said by horav shteinman in lkwd “
A comment.
It is very sad that Rav Shteinman Shlita needed to make this statement, it is indicative of the sad state of yeshiva admission policy.
Rav Shteinman today is just about the only godol who consistently calls out the frum veldt on hypocrisy, double standards and nepotism. I fear he is highly respected, yet ignored as soon as he makes the yeshivishe veldt a bit uncomfortable.
May he live ad meah v’esrim and may people heed his words while he still has the strength to express them.
It is the Torah that God gave to his Chosen People. Isn’t it wonderful to study and know as much as possible of it?
Second Printing
5745
Published by the author, Rabbi Eliezer Yehudah Waldenberg
Mazor 8, Jerusalem
Third Volume
Section Six
Siman 40
Chapters 20,21
Pgs. 221-228
The good will has been used up. I will no longer respond to you.
I don’t worry about this issue.
For the general crowd that visits here, Rabbi Breitowitz is highly recommended.
To satisfy the unsatisfiable, I will amend a statement I once made.
“This is the only (reasonable) Torah-true psak.”
No one knows.
Don’t worry about it.
Have faith that when it comes, you’ll know just like everyone else.
Move to Israel and have the best of both worlds.
at stake.
My opinion is correct on a common sense level and requires no source.
As has been mentioned, there is no logic in distinguishing between full and half siblings. The poskim discuss how to behave with step-siblings who are not biologically related. The tendency is to treat them as if they were biological siblings in regards to yichud and normal family life . Hence it is obvious that half and full siblings can be misyached etc…
Certainly, though, biologically related siblings are arayos and may not have relations or ever marry.
For a full treatment of the issue, see Tzitz Eliezer Chelek 6, Siman 40, perek 20 and 21. A very comprehensive and lengthy source. Read it, please.
In summary, behave with your half sibling as you would with your full sibling.
The OP asks:
“Are we required to believe that Hashem created the earth (and other planets?) in six 24-hour periods, and that the universe is literally 5772 years old? “
The answer is : No, you are not required to believe that.
You may act as if he is your full brother.
Now that the discussion has turned to minhag, I’ll offer my opinion on this issue.
A shul or yeshiva has the right to adhere to its minhagim. However, this adherence must be limited to a shliach tzibbur and ba’al koreh. Does anyone in his right mind think that if Rav Ovadiah Yosef were a guest in Lakewood that when given an aliyah he would make the brachos as if he were in Kovno?
In addition, this adherence should be limited to nusach, the words themselves, not the havoro, pronunciation. If the Satmar Rebbe had to daven maariv in a litvish yeshiva because he had yahrzeit, would they really make him say “nu” and not “nee”?
I know of a brilliant Ashkenazi boy with yiras shamayim and excellent midos who applied to a Litvish Yeshiva. His crime? He davens with a “tuh” and not a “suh”, that is, he davens havarah sefaradit. They were eager to accept him, but informed him that he would never be shliach tzibbur and never be given an aliyah.
In my opinion, this yeshiva should be ashamed of itself.
The all-too-common feeling that “Retzon Hashem is defined by what I do” is repugnant.
People here seem to be confused.
A shul must adhere to its minhagim as much as possible. That is a minhag issue.
As far as being yotzei leining/davening, every type of havoro is legitimate and all are yotzei l’chatchilah in all circumstances.
That is the only reasonable psak.
Reb Moshe zt”l’s psak mentioned above is remarkable for a different reason. His “proof” is that “no one has ever heard of such a psak”. He could easily have said that the chalitza is invalid, and this is the psak, and now you heard it. In other words, you married outside of your social circle and you have to suffer the consequences.
The point that Reb Moshe made is that such a psak would be inconceivable. So too with the Rabbeim’s psak in the OP; it is inconceivable.
I am too old to respond to adolescent taunts.
I would like to add that my opinion also holds for D’oraisa readings such as Parshas Zachor and Parshas Parah. All properly read (trop is definitely not me’akev) Torah readings of all sects, ethnic groups and mesoros are acceptable to all Jews and all are yotzeh with any of these readings. Sefardi, Teimani, British, American, Brooklyn, Litvish, Hungarian, and even those with a lisp. For the historically inclined, even the “chesim” and “he’im” . The list is very long. They are all acceptable.
…because the Ashkenazim wouldn’t be yotzei…”The Rabbaim there apparently hold that Sephardim listening to Ashkenazi leining are not yotzei as well”
If this is indeed the Rabbaim’s psak, it is an incorrect psak. It cannot stand up to any serious scrutiny, and it is very unfortunate that these Rabbaim came to this wrong conclusion. V’shari lehu marah.
It is ok to eat it whenever you are in the mood for it, you needn’t feel guilty in any way.
If this is your biggest spiritual concern, you are in very small company. Good for you.
Read some history, dear friends.
The Jewish people have never had it better.