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I’ll risk getting attacked here, but the “going rate” has been $1,000 per side, MINIMUM, for years already.
I want all to know that since I got drastically less than that for a Shidduch from wealthy people on both sides, Im somewhat less inspired to work as hard as before. Most of my get up and go, my verve and inspiration, got up and went.
To all those who might look down at me for that, each one of you: Do it for less, sweeties!!!! Only those who do it around the clock for less than $1,000 per side (from people who can well afford it- it was like pulling teeth), should dare criticize!
I want to mention that from BT’s or people who arent obviously well off, I’ve accepted next to nothing, graciously!!!!
Perhaps start by approaching the tuition commitees of the schools involved. Also, are there less expensive schools in your area?
What does your wife think might help? Does she have any thoughts on what to do?
Is there a Rov in your area who can get involved and help you? Sometimes someone looking in from the outside can see things that might help, that you might overlook or not be aware of.
The Goq, Id rather not use the term despondent. I prefer those who are VERY eager and doing everything in their power to get married, who realize that its head over heels over staying single, but not to the point of being despondent during their quest.
Hey, Goq, I work with older singles all day, every day, and “zeh mah she’yaish”! Its the ones who are complacent and not freaked out by older singlehood that I look down upon! If they get married its good, if they dont its good too.
You know the old Yiddish saying- Nor a Shtein zul zein alein . Spending time with same gender friends just isnt the same!
BTW, I didnt name names!
Ive made pareve pudding with soy milk and it was quite good.
Hopefully, iyH, seeing a new day, every day, out of my own familiar windows, as opposed to seeing it through the windows of the many uptown hospitals.
DH by absorbing my sensitivity to those that don’t conform to my standards, they will also absorb my standards.
Thats the beauty of Chabad groups. They and their children observe, but they dont put down or worse mock, others whose level of observance is somewhat lower.
adorable, I think everyone agrees that OOT’S are more accepting. A Jew is a Jew.
I think in NY communities like BP, the Chassidishe people feel their background and Derech is superior to others, while in Flatbush its the Litvishe, because they are the majority. Those who are from the background with greater numbers, feel superior to others who are in the minority. I think part of it is wanting to pass on to their children that what they are is the best, to prevent the children from swaying in other directions. If parents send vibes that we’re all equal and G-d loves us all equally, then why shouldnt children pick and choose which Derech they prefer?
With certain groups its not only what you are now, thats of great importance, its where you’re from, despite many great BT’s and Gerim in our history.
I loved WM’s post as well!
Also, I dont know of a single thinking human being who isnt constantly assessing his value/standing in his community/surrounding, to some degree, and analyzing his unique perspective of the situation, and what could potentially better or worsen it. In my mind, this is the case whether hes BT or not, newcomer or old. It’s universal. Anyone agree?
mom, Shame on the Childrens Place for giving them a hard time with viewing it.
I was thinking that thats exactly where the tragedy began!
If what youre saying is true, that they were difficult, they ought to be held responsible, publicly embarassed,and at least not profit from Jewish customers, no matter hw much we like their clothing!
Is anyone here of the opinion that any Gedolim were behind the kidnapping/beating of the recalcitrant husband? I cant believe that any would be. That would give frum Jews a black eye in the press, a huge Chilul Hashem.
Start your own camp and pay the staff what you think they deserve, after the hundreds of other expenses. Then you’ll see it from the other side.
I dont get it. Unless you own a home in nyc, renting is so much more expensive in nyc, than any of the oot areas you mentioned, you’d make up the difference in no time. No relatives are wiling to loan you the money?
May I asked what enticed you to leave your former community and make the trip to nyc?
coffee, whats holding you back from going any of the places you mentioned? Whats keeping you here?
coffee, so where would you like to be? Please name some places.
Ideally, if you can find others in your line of work, who are looking to hire, make the people you are letting go aware of them and possibly make arrangements for employer/employee to meet.
zahavasdad, good question!
Interesting that people seem less willing to forgive Madoff than Aron. Madoff’s crime happened long ago and I dont hear anyone speaking in his defense (he’s a Jew, yadayada).
Does that show us something about ourselves- some people value money more than life?
Beautiful words is an understatement! Thanks, I think many feel just as you do!
user, Next time you see someone from Young Israel walking with a baby stroller on Shobbas, try saying Good Shobbas with a smile instead of Good Yom Tov. This will also foster more good will toward everything that you are trying to represent rather than a sentiment that people are all form over substance being frim at the expense of religion.
Brilliantly put! I think Hashem would very much approve!
WIY, if only we knew for sure why Hashem is sending these Gezeiros. All we can do is guess and try our best to improve.
Personally Im no fan of movies or slits, but I think Lashon Hara and ruining others’ reputations is far worse, which you mentioned after the other two.
Let’s throw into the mix the feeling of indifference that many have in regard to the bitter tears cried by older single girls. The relative time spent on shopping for adults’ and kids’ clothes, etc. and the gym, versus redding Shidduchim, by people who say they have no time to red Shidduchim. Sad.
I cant say for sure what Hashem despises most, but neither can anyone else.
Is it true that the focus of the search has turned to Kensington/Flatbush because he was supposedly spotted at 18th Avenue and McDonald yesterday, asking for directions, or is that just a rumor?
Newsical, an Off Bway comedy/musical was pretty amusing.